by Lori Wilde
“Perfect.” She sighed.
“I’ll get the condoms.”
“Wear two,” she said. “Just in case.”
They made love on the couch, staring into each other’s eyes. Her heart beat crazily, full of love for him, wishing they had more time. Not just for tonight, but forever. In less than three weeks the wedding would be over, his father would be settled, and he’d be back in LA.
Unless you’re pregnant.
What would he do if she was pregnant?
Hell, what would she do if she was pregnant?
She stomped out that thought. Nothing to worry about yet. Right now, she was enjoying the beautiful ride. The thrill of his mouth at her nipples, the feel of his thumb stroking the inside of her thigh.
Yes.
Oh yes.
“Yes!” she screamed, and came in his arms.
And then it was his turn.
Ryder held her as they drifted down together. Their bodies quaking with the aftereffects.
As she closed her eyes, listening to the rhythm of their comingled breathing, she thought, If I died now, I’d die happy.
But she had to get up and go home. Her rules. She’d set them. No one to blame but herself.
The next morning, Katie returned to the ranch. She had offered to drive Ryder to the hospital to pick him up since Jax couldn’t very well hop on the back of the Harley, and the man’s old rattletrap pickup was unreliable.
“Are you worried this will set tongues wagging?” Ryder asked a bit sarcastically when she came to pick him up.
“No,” she said. “I’m just giving a client a ride home from the hospital.”
“I see.”
“Are you mad at me?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Frustrated. I wanted to wake up next to you, smell your hair, and smother you with kisses.”
“Rain check,” she said.
“When? Tonight?”
“Can’t. I promised Jenny I’d babysit, and it will be your first day alone with your dad.”
“Why do you think I want to get out of the house?”
“It’ll be okay. Maybe not comfortable. It’s a long road back to each other, but you guys will get there if you don’t give up on him.”
“I love your optimism. I wish I had a teaspoon of it.”
Love.
She wished he wouldn’t throw that word around. It made her heart hop painfully every time he did.
“This is the first step,” she said.
“To where?” he asked.
“Home.”
To her delighted surprise, Ryder didn’t say, This isn’t my home.
Because of his instability on his bandaged foot, Ryder and Katie escorted the cantankerous old man—Jax had bitched about the hospital staff all the way home to the ranch—into the house.
He stopped stock-still in the entryway, his eyes bugging, jaw dropping slack.
Katie shot Ryder a triumphant look as if certain they’d astonished and amazed him. Uneasiness prickled the back of Ryder’s neck. The same prickle of warning he used to get when on patrol in Afghanistan. Uh-oh.
“What the hell did you do!” Jax howled.
“We cleaned your house.” Katie’s eyes twinkled. “Isn’t it pretty?”
Jax snarled, turning on her. “You moved my stuff. Where’s my radio? Where’s my Carmex? Where’s my ball cap? Where’s the TV remote? Why does it stink like roses? You ruined everything, you stupid twit.”
“Enough.” Ryder snapped, grabbed Jax by the shoulder, and whipped him around to face him. “Don’t talk to Katie that way. Don’t you dare.”
Katie laid a soft hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Ryder. Jax is feeling displaced by the changes. It’s understandable.”
“What she said.” Jax jutted out his chin, wrinkled his nose at Ryder.
“I don’t give a damn, you don’t get to call her names.” Blood boiling, Ryder fisted his hands at his side.
“Fine.” Jax pulled his spine up tall, wobbled a bit unsteadily in Katie’s direction. “I apologize for calling you a twit.”
“I accept your apology,” Katie said smoothly. “Now would you like me to show you where everything is?” She moved into the living room, Jax trailing after her. “Your radio is right here next to your easy chair.”
Furious, Ryder gritted his teeth. Katie might have forgiven the old bastard, but Ryder hadn’t.
She led Jax around the room, opening drawers and lifting lids on decorative boxes, showing him where the living room essentials were stored. “It will take you a while to learn where everything is, and I know it will be frustrating at first, but once you do it will make life so much easier. A place for everything and everything in its place.”
“How am I supposed to keep it like this? Too much damn work.” Jax snorted.
“A cleaning service will be coming out every week,” Katie told him.
“Well who the hell is gonna be paying for that?”
“I am,” Ryder said. “Whether you like it or not.”
Jax grumbled and fussed. He didn’t like this, and he wanted that moved. And where had she put the empty milk jugs he was saving? And the newspapers? And the twine?
“Those items are going to be recycled,” she said.
“That’s my stuff! You can’t just waltz in here and take my stuff. That’s theft. I’ll file a police report.” Jax chuffed.
“The items aren’t missing.” Katie was so calm. She spoke slowly and made eye contact with Jax the whole time, giving him her full attention. “They’re stored in the barn for now. Nothing except trash has been thrown away.”
“You better not be lying.” Jax narrowed his eyes at her. “Some of that is my wife’s stuff and she’ll be hopping mad.”
Katie looked at Ryder, stricken.
“Dad.” Ryder stepped closer to his father. “Twyla’s passed away. That’s why I’m home. Why we did all this.”
“I know, I know.” Jax waved a hand as if shooing a fly away from his ear. “I just got confused for a minute when I thought about how mad she was gonna be. Guess it don’t matter now.”
Then as if all the air had been let out of him, Jax collapsed into the easy chair with a heavy thump.
Ryder inclined his head and studied his father, wondering how long the old man had been like this. He’d been a hard man, and unforgiving when Ryder was a kid, but there was a new layer here. Cognitive impairment of some kind. A disconnect. Was it a mental illness? Or was Jax showing the early signs of dementia? Could it be complications from the diabetes? Or even some of the medicine he was on?
Then again, Jax had just lost his wife of twenty years. And his house altered to the point of unrecognizable. Most anyone might be disoriented under those circumstances.
Ryder made a mental note to revisit these questions with Jax’s doctor.
“Dad,” he said. “Sit here and rest. I’m going to walk Katie to her car.”
“You’re leaving?” Jax sounded alarmed.
“Yes, Mr. Southerland. I have other clients, but I’ll be back to help sort through the things in the barn when you’re feeling better.”
“What if I need something? How will I find it?” Jax spread both hands over the arms of his easy chair and sat up straight.
“Ryder’s going to be here to help you.”
Jax swung his gaze to Ryder. “You’re gonna be staying here?”
“In my old room.”
Jax paused to think that over, moistened his lips, finally nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m walking Katie to her car,” Ryder reminded him. “I’ll be right back.”
“Turn on the Weather Channel, will you?” Jax asked.
Ryder flipped on the TV, then took Katie’s arms and walked outside with her.
“Wow,” she said. “You’ve got your hands full.”
“I shouldn’t have waited so long to come home.” Ryder pulled his palm down his face.
“Under the circumstances, I can see why you didn’t.”
“It wasn’t your fault. And truly, Ryder, I do understand. It’s not easy for him. His whole life has been turned upside down. Be patient with him.”
“Can I call you if I’m ready to yank my hair out by the roots?”
“By all means.” She leaned in, and for one hopeful minute he thought she might kiss him. “I’d hate for you to lose that lush head of hair.”
“Ah, now we get down to it,” he teased. “The real reason you like me. I have a full head of hair.”
“Yep, it’s those luscious locks, babe,” she teased back. “Lose them and I’m gone.”
He leaned in toward her, but it must have been too close for comfort, because she stepped back. Not being able to touch her was driving him up the wall. All he wanted to do was touch her. Stroke her. Kiss her. Lick her.
Stop it! He was making himself hard just thinking about what he couldn’t do to her.
Why was she insisting on keeping their romance a secret? It gnawed at him. Was she ashamed of him?
“We could always sneak up to my bedroom and get naked,” he said.
“Be serious.”
“I am serious.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“Not the first time I’ve heard that.”
“Probably won’t be the last.” She laughed.
“When can I see you again?” he asked.
“I’ll have to let you know. Tomorrow I volunteered to be an elf in the Santa diorama on the square.”
“Katie.” He touched her arm. “I’m here with my father, you’ve got to give me something to look forward to.”
She hinted at a smile, removed his hand from her arm. “Self-control, Ryder. You’ve got it in spades. Call on it now.”
“If you can get away even for a few minutes, let me know.” He pressed his palms together. “Please. Call. Text. E-mail. Carrier pigeon. Any time, day or night. I’ll be there.”
She laughed and sank her hands on her hips. “I have to say I really like you this way.”
“What way?”
“Groveling. Ta-ta.” With a wave of her hand, she hopped in the Camry and drove away.
“Ryder!” Jax hollered from the front door.
He sighed, headed toward the house. “What is it, Dad?”
“They’ve got a new weather girl on channel 10. When did they change out the weather girl? Too many changes. I want the old weather girl back. Call the TV station and tell them to put her back on.”
“I have no control over the weather girl, Dad.”
“Then what good are you?” Jax slammed the door.
Ryder smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand. Dad home. No Katie. It was shaping up to be a very long day.
Chapter 21
At five p.m. on Tuesday afternoon, six days after he’d roared back into town, Ryder got the text he’d been waiting for from Katie.
Want to see me? she texted.
Yes! he texted.
Come play Santa.
????
She texted a smiley emoji. Diorama Santa bailed. Need a new one. You?
Be right there.
A stringing of dancer emojis appeared on his phone screen.
“Dad,” he called to his father, who’d been napping in his easy chair. “I gotta go out for a while.”
“Where?” Jax scowled.
“Town square.”
“Why?”
“I’m playing Santa.”
“Why would you wanna do that?” Jax growled.
“For fun,” Ryder said.
Jax gave him such a startled look it made Ryder wonder if his father even knew what fun was.
“Do you want me to bring you anything back from town?”
“Pigskins.” Jax snorted, and promptly fell back asleep.
Ryder made sure the phone was near Jax, along with water and a snack. Then he took off, surprised by how excited he was to be playing Santa. It wasn’t the Santa gig that had him charged up, but rather the thought of being near Katie again.
The diorama was set up in a temporary plywood structure erected on the courthouse square. The building contained Santa’s sleigh and a North Pole scene. Already a line of kids and their parents had formed.
Katie was waiting with the Santa suit. She looked adorable as an elf in green tights and long green tunic sweater, and he felt like a kid again.
“The regular Santa is a lot bigger than you, so you’ll have to pad. We’ve got pillows. And cinch the belt tight so your pants don’t fall down.”
He ducked into the small dressing room. “Hey,” he said. “Can you help me?”
She popped her head into the dressing room. “What is it?”
He pulled her all the way in, and shut the door. Kissed her hard.
“Ryder.” She glared, but underneath it, he saw a smile. “Stop it.”
“Did you get your period yet?”
“No. But it’s not due for a couple more days.”
“You’ll let me know?”
“Yes, yes, of course. I have to get back out there. Hurry. The kids are restless.”
The next three hours passed in a blur of kids on his lap and laughter, tears, and sticky fingers. Kids tugged his beard and drooled on him and asked for everything in the world, greedy little grub worms. He was going hoarse from too many ho, ho, hos, and his thigh was slightly damp from what, he didn’t really want to think about. But damn if he wasn’t having a great time.
And most of it had to do with the gorgeous elf manning the camera, snapping photographs for eager parents.
“Last one,” Katie told him as she scooped a red-haired three-year-old off his lap and gave her back to her mother. “We’re closed,” she told some stragglers who’d wandered through the door.
“Oh no.” The mom’s face fell. “I had to wait until I got off work. I’m so sorry.”
“Santa! Santa!” Twin four-year-old boys jumped around. “Santa! Santa! We want Santa!”
“Santa’s been up on that sleigh for three hours without a break,” Katie said. “I’m sorry, but we closed at nine.”
“It’s okay, Elf Katie,” Ryder called in his best Santa voice. “C’mon boys.” He waved the twins over.
“Oh thank you!” The mom put her palms together in supplication. “Thank you. You have no idea how tough it is being a single mother of twin boys.”
The boys each took a leg and jabbered away at him, and he let them have a full ten minutes of his attention. When the family left and everyone else was gone, Katie locked the door—which consisted of nothing more than on old-fashioned clasp lock—and came to climb up on the sleigh beside him.
“That was a very nice thing you did for that mom and her twins.”
“No big deal.”
“It was to them.”
“It was fun.”
“You mean that.”
“Don’t sound so surprised.”
Her face broke into a massive smile. “I can hardly believe you’re the same guy who tackled me for running up the stairs in Les Ketchum’s direction last year,” she said.
“Why’s that?”
“You’ve changed so much.”
“How?”
“For one thing, you smile more.”
“I do?”
“Yes, and you look less . . .”
“Less what?”
She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“No.” He put a hand on hers to keep her from backing away. “I want to know.”
“Stressed. You’re relaxed. Easy. An adjective I would never have used to describe you before.”
Ryder peered into Katie’s eyes, saw his own reflection in her brown-eyed stare. God, he admired the hell out of her.
“So this security firm you work for in California,” Katie said. “You really like it?”
“Suits me.” He shrugged.
“And you miss it?”
“Yeah,” he admitted, wondering what she was getting at. “But I needed a break. I hadn’t taken a vacation in the two years I’ve been there.”
She shifted on the sleigh and looked up at him through a fringe of long dark eyelashes, those sharp brown eyes shining bright. She shivered, and he put his arm around her shoulder and she didn’t resist.
Oh yeah.
Her lips were so close to his, and her hair brushed the back of his arm, and she was wearing an adorable Santa hat and that silly elf costume that fit nice and snug around her gorgeous breasts.
“I want you,” she said, surprising him.
“What?”
“I want you,” she repeated, touched his inner thigh.
“Here?” he asked, thrilled by her boldness. “In Santa’s workshop?”
“I can’t think of a better place.” Her fingers worked the big, black patent leather Santa belt.
Ryder groaned, wrapped his big hand over her small one, clutching her tight, making her stop. “Katie,” he said. “You don’t really want this. Not here. Not like this.”
“It’s not up to you to tell me what I do and don’t want,” she sassed, and he loved that sauciness. She snagged his earlobe between her teeth and used it to gently pull his head down.
“Yes, ma’am.” He chuckled.
“It’s late. The place is closed. There’s no one else around.”
“But the walls are thin. It’s a plywood structure. We’re on the town square. What has gotten into you?”
“What’s the matter? You afraid of getting caught?” she asked.
Actually no, but it was as good an excuse as any. “Yes.”
“Hmm,” she said. “As I recall, when you were in high school you weren’t afraid of getting caught doing the deed with Missy Kirkwood in the balcony of the Twilight Playhouse.”
“My point exactly. I don’t want to ruin your reputation the way I ruined Missy’s.”
“I think Missy’s reputation ship had sailed long before you came along. Besides, you just let me worry about my own reputation.” She touched him, placing her palm over the zipper of his jeans. “Ryder,” she whispered. “Please.”
Instantly, Ryder got hard.
“I know you want me too.”
There was no question about that.
“What’s holding you back?” she said. “You wanted me. Now you’ve got me.”
