A State of Grace

by Traci DePree

  She dropped Livvy off at her home first, then turned onto Sweetwater and made a left onto Mountain Laurel Road a block before the Harrises’ house. But when they pulled into the drive, everything was dark. Not a single light was on in the house.

  “Something’s wrong,” Patricia choked out the words. Her hand touched her chest and her breathing quickened.

  Kate gazed up at the house, studying it in the dim glow of the car’s headlights. “There’s a note on the front door,” she said. “You stay here. I’ll get it.”

  Patricia sat in the car as Kate walked quickly to the door and retrieved the note. She climbed back in the car and turned on the overhead light.

  Patricia, the note read, Marissa passed out. I couldn’t wake her, so an ambulance came to take her to the Pine Ridge hospital. I’m with her there. LuAnne.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Patricia sprinted through the front doors of the squat one-story brick hospital. Kate hurried to keep up with the younger woman. There was no one at the front desk, so Patricia started down the hall. Kate knew Patricia was frantic. To be honest, she felt pretty frantic herself.

  They were halfway to the first room when a nurse appeared from its depths.

  “Can I help you?” the short redhead asked.

  “I’m looking for my daughter, Marissa Harris,” Patricia said, urgency lining her words.

  “She’s in room 104.” The nurse pointed down the hall, then paused. “But you should probably talk to Dr. McLaughlin first.” She gestured toward the waiting room across from the front check-in desk. “Why don’t you have a seat. I’ll call him.”

  “Is she stable?” Patricia asked.

  The nurse nodded. “Yes, she’s stable. Just sleeping right now.”

  Kate saw Patricia’s shoulders relax. She led her to the padded chairs in the waiting room, but Patricia was fidgeting, eager to get in to see her daughter. CNN played silently on the wall-mounted TV in the corner near the door.

  “I knew I shouldn’t have left her,” Patricia finally said. “She was so tired after yesterday. I should have stayed here, where I belong.”

  Kate placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You heard the nurse. She’s just sleeping; she’s not in a coma.”

  “Why do I need to talk to the doctor first, then? And why are they keeping her here in the hospital?” Patricia looked at Kate with such sad eyes that Kate felt like crying. “It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t waited so long to look for Kara...I mean Valerie—” she went on.

  “Mothers always blame themselves,” Kate said. “The truth is, this could’ve happened whether you were here or not, whether you found Valerie or not. And you are trying to get help for Marissa. Remember? That’s the reason you had to go.”

  Patricia’s shoulders began to shake, then, in deep wracking sobs. Kate reached an arm across her back and let her cry. She didn’t need to say anything else right then.

  After what seemed an eternity, a lanky doctor with a shank of dark hair and a handsome face came down the hall. He wore a white lab coat, and when his gaze met Kate’s, his eyes crinkled in a smile. The crow’s-feet that marked them told Kate he was used to smiling often. He held out a hand to Patricia. “Mrs. Harris?”

  Patricia nodded and rose to her feet as she reached for his outstretched hand. “How is she?” she asked.

  “She was unconscious for a good hour, and she’s very weak,” the doctor began. He raked a hand through his hair. “Her red count is way down, so I gave her a transfusion and some platelets. That’s why I want to keep her for a while—to make sure those numbers start going up again.”

  “She’s on several prescriptions since finishing her last round of chemotherapy,” Patricia said. “Do I need to bring those?”

  The doctor nodded. “I saw that in her records. We’ll keep administering whatever the doctor in Chattanooga prescribed.”

  “I can bring those the next time I come,” Kate offered.

  “Does she need to be in the Chattanooga hospital instead of here,” Patricia asked, “since that’s where she’s gotten her other treatments?”

  “That’s up to you. They’re part of our health-care system, so if she were to take a turn for the worse or need a different level of care, we’d transfer her.”

  “It is good to have her closer to home than Chattanooga,” Patricia admitted. She lifted her eyes. “Can I see her now?”

  Dr. McLaughlin nodded. “I’ll take you to her room. I’d like to check her again before I head home.”

  He led the way along the quiet corridor to the room where Marissa lay sleeping. LuAnne Matthews was sitting in the La-Z-Boy chair alongside the bed. She stood when they came in.

  “Oh, Patricia,” she whispered. “I didn’t know what to do. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom...and just collapsed.” LuAnne’s gaze turned toward the sleeping girl. “And your cell phone must’ve been out of range. I tried calling and left a message, but...”

  Patricia stared at her daughter, who looked peaceful as she lay in the dimly lit room. The doctor walked over to her and pulled out his stethoscope to listen to her heart for a long moment. Then he took a look at her chart and wrote something down before saying farewell and disappearing back into the hall.

  Marissa must have been exhausted, because even with their talk, she kept on sleeping. Patricia pulled a chair up alongside the bed and took a seat. She reached for her daughter’s hand and held it tightly, bending to kiss it. Then she let out a heavy sigh. Kate touched her shoulder.

  “Are you going to be okay?” Kate asked.

  Patricia nodded. “Now that I’m here I will be. Why don’t you head on home? I’m sure your husband is wondering where you are.”

  “I don’t want you to be alone,” Kate said.

  “I can stay,” LuAnne said. “Marissa and I were just getting acquainted, and I’d like some time to get to know her mother again.” Her gaze met Patricia’s. “If that’s okay.”

  Patricia paused as if in thought, then she said to Kate, “I don’t know what to do about”—she glanced at Marissa—“today. About what we discovered. I can’t leave her again, but I know that’s important too.” Her eyes searched Kate’s.

  “We’ll keep looking, Livvy and I. You don’t need to worry. We’ll do our best to get Marissa exactly the help she needs, even if we have to go to the ends of the earth.”

  PATRICIA HAD BEEN SITTING at Marissa’s bedside for several hours, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she slept.

  She thought of Kara...no, Valerie. She’d have to get used to that name. What was Valerie doing now? Was she well? Was she even alive? Had she gone to college and gotten married as so many of Marissa’s friends had?

  Marissa turned toward her in the bed. LuAnne lifted her head where she sat dozing in the chair on the opposite side of the room.

  “I need a cup of joe,” LuAnne said through the surgical mask she was wearing to protect Marissa from germs. “How about you?”

  “That would be good,” Patricia admitted and started to rise.

  “You sit yourself down,” LuAnne insisted. “I can make this run. You get the next.”

  After LuAnne left, Marissa opened bleary eyes as if she was unsure of her surroundings, and then her gaze settled on her mother.

  “Good evening.” Patricia stroked her daughter’s arm. “You were sure sleepy.”

  “What time is it?”

  Patricia turned to look at the large wall clock. “Ten o’clock.”

  “Did you have a good trip?”

  Patricia laughed at the absurdity of the question, but then her laughter turned to crying as the stress of the day hit her full force. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and Marissa patted her hand.

  “I’m sorry,” Marissa said.

  Patricia dabbed at her eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for. But I”—her voice cracked—“I have so much to be sorry for.”

  This was the time—she knew it. And somehow a feeling of certainty and boldness came to her in
a way she’d never felt before when she’d tried to tell Marissa the truth.

  “I have a confession,” she began. Marissa looked confused. “I should have told you a long time ago, but I was afraid you’d hate me if you knew.”

  “Hate you? Mom, I love you. I could never hate you.” Marissa turned the rest of her body toward Patricia beside the bed, pulling up the covers and giving her mother her full attention.

  Patricia took a ragged breath. “I hope not. Because I love you more than I thought it was possible to love a person. Your father did too. He loved you so much...” She stared at the floor.

  “What is it?”

  Patricia looked her daughter in the eyes as she began. “Ray wasn’t your real...I mean, your biological dad.”

  “What are you saying?” Marissa tried to sit up, then fell back against her pillow.

  “I was eighteen. I’d dated a boy all through high school. I thought he loved me, that we’d get married...Then I found out I was pregnant.”

  “You were pregnant?” Marissa said, her eyes reflecting her confusion.

  Patricia nodded. “With you...Well, I couldn’t stay in Copper Mill—your grandparents were too ashamed of me to let me have you here. So I stayed at a home for unwed mothers in Chattanooga.”

  “I thought you went to college there, that you and Dad...when I was born—”

  Patricia shook her head. “No. I’m so sorry!” She lifted her face to the darkened window as she went on. “There are so many lies wrapped up in this. I should have been honest with you from the start, but once Ray came, everything seemed so perfect, and it was just easier to pretend that we were a normal, happy family.”

  “We were a normal, happy family,” Marissa insisted.

  “You deserved the truth. I met Ray in Chattanooga. He was an apprentice electrician who came to my apartment building to do some work after...” Her words trailed off again, and she began to sob.

  “After what?” Marissa patted her mother’s hand. “It’s okay, Mom. You can tell me.”

  “There’s more to this story. And it’s the hardest part.” She inhaled, and Marissa waited for her to go on. “You had a twin. I named her Kara. She was smaller than you, but she was pretty, with the same dark look you had, and the dimples...”

  “I have a sister?” Marissa said. “And you never told me?” Her incredulous tone broke Patricia’s heart.

  “I know it was wrong. I can’t apologize enough. That’s what the trip to Chattanooga was about...We want to find her; we were trying to find your sister. Her name is Valerie now. We want to ask her if she’ll be tested to see if she’s a marrow match.”

  Marissa lay for a long moment in silence, her eyes staring at nothing. When she finally looked back at Patricia, she said, “How can you ask that of her?” Now Marissa was crying.

  “I lost one daughter,” Patricia said. “I’m not about to lose both.”

  IF THERE WAS ONE THING Livvy Jenner was good at, it was finding information on the Internet. She had a sort of sixth sense about such things that always amazed Kate. So when Livvy called on Saturday with news that she’d found the car dealership where Valerie’s father worked, it didn’t surprise Kate one bit.

  “How about this?” Livvy said over the phone. “I have a Mountain View Ford on East Twentieth Street. According to the information on their Web site, the place has been in existence since 1979. You never know; the father might still work there. Or someone might know something about him...” She gave Kate the number, then excused herself to get back to work.

  Kate dialed the dealership.

  “MacKenzie Lincoln Ford Mercury,” a scratchy voice answered. It was a woman, and from the rasp in her voice, a heavy smoker.

  “Hello, I’m looking for Robert Olsen,” Kate said. “He’s a salesman there, I believe?”

  “Robert Olsen? We don’t have anyone by that name here.”

  “Well, I guess he used to work there...maybe. Is there someone there who might know him? He would’ve been there in the mideighties, I’m guessing.”

  “Hey!” The woman shouted at someone on her end of the line. “You ever heard of a Robert Olsen? No, Jim, I’m talking to you. You ever heard of an Olsen who used to work here?” There was some muffled talk, then she came back on the line.

  “Jim Parrish says he knew him. Said he quit a good ten years ago. And got a job at some big-shot dealership in Phoenix. That’s all he knows.”

  “Can I talk to Mr. Parrish?”

  “No, he’s already back out in the lot talking to someone.”

  As Kate hung up the phone, her heart began to sink. Valerie couldn’t be all the way in Arizona. There wasn’t enough time for a nationwide search. She placed her hand on her forehead to think, offering up a prayer for help. Maybe this Jim Parrish was wrong.

  They did have an address in Chattanooga. Or perhaps they’d moved to Arizona and returned to Tennessee. She wished she could simply call, but Livvy hadn’t said anything about a phone number at the home address. She knew Livvy; she would’ve checked to see if there was any way they could find that information. No doubt their number was unlisted, or they’d switched to using a cell phone, as so many others had.

  The only thing she and Livvy could do was head to Chattanooga themselves and try to track down Valerie on their own.

  THE FEBRUARY MONDAY WAS WARM, almost sixty degrees. All the snow was gone except for the occasional dirty pile that the snowplow had left behind. The sun shone in radiance across the modest Chattanooga neighborhood, making it look more like the middle of summer.

  The house where Valerie lived was small, with a stone facade and gingerbread details along the eaves, windows, and door. The backyard had a chain-link fence and an old-fashioned metal swing set. A large wolflike dog barked at them from the back as they approached the side of the house off the driveway and knocked on the screen door.

  Livvy stood back a couple of steps while Kate waited in the front. “I hope our search is over,” Livvy said.

  “Let’s hope,” Kate agreed.

  A bent, heavyset man answered the door. He had a thin layer of hair that was combed in a circular pattern over his mostly bald head. His thick brows furrowed together when his eyes landed on Kate and Livvy. “Who are you?”

  “Good morning,” Kate began. “I’m Kate Hanlon, and this is Livvy Jenner. We’re looking for Robert and Mary Olsen, and Valerie Olsen...”

  The man’s expression was blank.

  Kate cleared her throat and went on. “According to our information, they used to live here...”

  “I thought I heard those names before,” he said, holding up his index finger. “I bought this house from them in 1997.”

  “Did they leave any information about where they might have moved?” Kate pressed. “A forwarding address, perhaps?”

  He scratched his stubbled chin. “They weren’t exactly friends, so I don’t know what happened to them after the paperwork was signed.” He shrugged. “Could be anyone’s guess where they are by now.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kate and Livvy had never been more disheartened than they were at that moment. Climbing into Kate’s Honda Accord, they sat side by side, neither of them speaking. Kate rested her hands on the steering wheel but didn’t start the motor. A couple of cars passed on the quiet street.

  “What does this mean?” Livvy asked, finally breaking the silence.

  Kate sighed. “We don’t have the time or the resources to go looking for her in Phoenix. It’d be like looking for a needle in a haystack.”

  “There has to be another way,” Livvy said, pushing her hair back from her face.

  Kate turned the key in the ignition and slid the gearshift into reverse. She glanced over her shoulder and backed into the street.

  Livvy paused in thought, then continued, “We need something more concrete than the car salesman’s word that they even went to Phoenix. Do you think the post office would keep forwarding records?”

  Kate shook her head. “It�
�s been too long.” As they passed State Line Road, Kate glanced at her watch. It was eleven thirty. “Let’s get some lunch.” She pointed ahead at Andy’s Restaurant on Dodds Avenue and pulled into the parking lot. “We need time to ponder and regroup.”

  Livvy reached for her purse from the floor of the car and got out. The two women walked up to the plain-looking restaurant.

  The place was bustling, and the scent of fried chicken and barbecued pork hung in the air, making Kate’s mouth water. A short young waitress with light-blonde hair and freckles dotted across her nose led them to a booth that looked out onto the street; she handed them their menus and placed two glasses of water on the table. She chewed gum as she spoke. “The specials today are pork riblets and chicken-fried steak. I’ll be back in a few to take your order.” As she bounced away, Kate and Livvy exchanged looks.

  “I wish I felt like her,” Kate said, making Livvy smile.

  Livvy glanced at her menu, then said, “The question we need to ask ourselves is who would’ve known the Olsens well enough to keep track of them over the years?”

  Kate meditated on that thought for a while as she perused the menu. Her stomach grumbled, and she pressed her hand against it.

  “We’re assuming, of course, that the Olsens are the kind of people who keep up with old friends,” Kate said.

  “It’s all we have to go on right now.” Livvy glanced back at her menu, then set it at the end of the table and took a sip of her ice water. “It’s too bad we don’t know what church they went to or if they belonged to any civic organizations.”

  The perky blonde returned to take their orders. “Heya,” she said between chews on her bubble gum. “Do you know what you’d like?” She held the order pad aloft with a pencil at the ready.

  “What do you recommend?” Kate asked.

  “Hmm,” the girl thought as she popped her gum. “I guess the barbecue? Otherwise, the hamburgers are really great. I like the chicken strips too.”

  Livvy raised an eyebrow, and Kate sent her a scolding look.

  Kate pointed to a thin man with white hair who sat eating alone at the counter.