by Kat Bostick
The sole conclusion they kept circling back to was that they really weren’t sure what to do other than wait it out. There was another Wolfseggner in Humble Springs and she didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving without Jasper, Mari, and maybe the whole pack.
As she listened to the concerned, and sometimes fearful, voices of pack members, felt the quiet rage still roiling in Jasper’s belly, Mari came to her own conclusion. The pack was as out of their depths as her when it came to this coven. The only difference was that Mari had a solution. She could make this right. And after all they’d done for her in the last two months, she owed it to them.
This was no longer about Mari fulfilling her dreams. It was bigger than her. Well intentioned or not, Lyse wouldn’t stop with the Humble Springs pack. She wouldn’t stop with Mari. The quest to change the world of witches was an endless one and without the right influence, Lyse could easily become everything Gran warned Mari about. Blackness would devour the souls of even the best people.
However heartbreaking, Mari knew what decision she had to make.
Later she woke to Jasper carefully settling her onto his mattress. She didn’t really care that he brought her to his room. Tonight, Mari realized that she did trust him, wholly and completely. She believed what she told him: Jasper would never hurt her.
Besides, after what happened earlier she planned to sleep on top of him to guarantee he stayed put. She would check him every fifteen minutes to feel his pulse, his breathing, and his general state of being if that was what it took. It wasn’t like Mari would be able to sleep anyway. As soon as Jasper was asleep her own drowsiness evaporated. She stared at his masculine features, contemplating the horrible pit she’d felt in her stomach ever since she stepped into his room and saw hatred in his eyes.
Mari was utterly crushed by that feeling, even as she’d been expecting it. Part of her wanted to blame it on the mating magic. The connection stretched tautly between them and so it snapped like a rubber band hitting her heart when something threatened it. Being honest with herself though, it was because she cared about Jasper much, much more than she’d previously been willing to admit.
The revelation once again terrified Mari because it meant that she’d become too reliant on him already. She hadn’t relied on anyone but herself since she was a teenager and to start now made her terribly vulnerable. The heartbreak from thinking he didn’t like her was enough to stunt her into inaction.
The last twenty four hours had served to solidify Mari’s resolve. Jasper deserved someone worthy of his strength. The pack deserved honesty. And Mari had to fulfill her true role as a Wolfseggner. She could be an ally to the wolves and offer them guidance, but only from within a coven. That was how she would protect them.
Perhaps that was the divine purpose all along. She performed her rites, brought Jasper home, and she would finally join a coven. Hopefully Mother Moon would be pleased.
Mari closed her eyes to listen to the sound of Jasper’s heartbeat, setting aside all other thoughts. She really did care about him. In another world where she was different, a better person, she would stay. Now that her choice was made, Mari could admit to herself that Jasper was it for her. No one else could hold a candle to him. Giving him up would be giving up the only chance at true happiness she would ever get.
Even if she found a way to undo the magic that bound them together, his heart would always pulse inside of her like a second heartbeat.
Chapter 45
Mari
The harvest moon hung gravid in the vast expanse of black silk overhead. Thousands of winking stars stood sentinel around the Blue Goddess, making her girth the locus of the night sky. The witch drifted over lush grass in the meadow before her, shuddering with joy at the thick haze of magic that wafted up from the Earth Mother to meet with the power of her sister. This was what it meant to be a witch. She was made to take the light into her and carry it through the darkness.
The evocative howl of a wolf broke the growing silence of night. Five voices sang out in answer to the alpha’s demand for a hunt. Mari shuddered again, drinking in the magic that echoed in the air with the call of wolf who is also man. She was made to take this into her too; the connection between life and death. That was the purpose of werewolves. They were guardians of balance. The sentence they served was death. It was not evil, it was purely the way of the wolf.
Though the leaves of the surrounding trees were only brushed with hints of autumn colors, the air nipped with frosty teeth, making Mari shiver for a completely different reason. She was alone in the meadow where the pack would change together before their moonlit hunt. Charlie requested she wait until they shifted and were well on their way into the woods before she stepped out on her own. The alpha thought it best if the wolves hunted their wildness into submission before Mari approached them.
Mari had already worshipped under the moon, saying extra prayers for guidance and strength to get her through the night. This was only her second full moon with the pack and she had no concept of how long a hunt would take. The few times when Jasper left to hunt while they were on the road, he was scarcely gone thirty minutes. Then again, his intentions were efficiency then. A pack hunt was about strengthening bonds and feeding the nature of the wolf.
Rather than heading back inside, Mari decided to do some exploring. Despite the release her worship brought, she still itched to move and experience the forest. This might be her last chance to appreciate the purity of the land here. She didn’t know if she would ever be welcome back to the pack compound after she left.
The witch engaged in some of her own play while she waited, weaving through the trees, halting whenever the canopy blocked out the light. Eventually the forest led her too far from the meadow and she realized that she was lost. Mari wasn’t afraid though. Her wolf would find her when it was time.
Summoned by her faith in him, the red wolf bounded out of the darkness, not slowing until he crashed into her. Mari grunted when she hit the ground, giving him her best snarl. One of these days Jasper was going to break her tailbone.
“Why are you wet?” She squealed as he stood over her to lick her face, cold water dripping from his belly to hers. The question answered itself when she remembered that he’d probably been covered in blood. In that case, she’d rather be wet than bloody.
Mari squirmed out from under Jasper and shoved him in the first move of a familiar game. Overcome with the intoxicating thrill of the moon, both the wolf and witch forgot the rest of the world for a few precious moments. Jasper nipped and pawed at her. Mari paid him back in kind. Her nips weren’t nearly as hard as his but she got a good yelp from him when she caught his ear. No doubt there would be bruises all over her arms and legs tomorrow.
Play came to an abrupt end when a growl sounded behind them. Jasper whipped around and returned the aggressive sound to the honey colored wolf standing ten feet from them. Cora was unmistakable with her soft brown eyes and the dark gold mask that painted her snout.
“Hi Cora,” she greeted politely. The she-wolf snapped her teeth.
Jasper approached Cora with hackles raised. Not wanting a tussle between them, Mari planted her palms to the earth and focused on sending a trickle of magic to the she-wolf. A song that was becoming familiar to her hummed in her throat and she let it flow from her freely.
Both wolves relaxed, their snarls vanishing. Mari kept pushing gently, testing her own limits and setting clear intention for the magic. This time she didn’t want the wolves to change, only to be soothed. She closed her eyes and focused, envisioning vines of gold growing across the forest floor to touch the she-wolf’s heart. When her eyes reopened she was startled to see the entire pack standing in the shadows around her.
She did her best to keep her fear in check but she was sure they heard her hammering heart. Being encircled by six enormous wolves was just downright unsettling. And, good freaking werewolf God, Cash was scary. Jasper was big but even his size seemed normal compared to Cash. There was no way
she could have passed him for a dog. He probably outweighed all of the local black bears.
Uncertainty settled into Mari’s stomach but that sick feeling was quickly pushed aside with more surprise when Cora darted past Jasper and flopped onto Mari’s lap. The she-wolf wiggled like a happy puppy and whined until Mari ran fingers through her soft double coat.
“Well this is an interesting turn of events.” She chuckled to herself as the she-wolf rolled back over and started licking her face. Cora got in a couple of good licks before Jasper nudged her aside with a warning nip to her snout.
Charlie was the first to approach after Cora. He wasn’t nearly as big as Cash or Jasper but there was an undeniable authority about him. His pitch colored coat matched the blackness of the night sky, his eyes glinting blue stars. The darkness and danger he exuded only amplified the fearsome power he held. Some animal part of her not only recognized him as the alpha but understood why he was. Charlie the man had a good sense of humor and a gentle voice. Charlie the wolf would destroy anything that threatened his pack without batting an eye.
The alpha gave her a cursory sniff before head-butting her in a move that reminded her more of a cat than a wolf. Each pack member, even Deak, came to do the same when Charlie was done. Jasper watched them carefully but seemed relaxed once the alpha gave his approval. A clipped warning growl came when Cash was a little enthusiastic and knocked Mari onto her back.
For a heartbeat she was concerned she would be crushed in a wolf brawl as Jasper stepped over her but Cash chuffed and backed down. Just like that the tension between them dissipated and the pack slipped back into the shadows. Mari let Jasper lead her through the dark until they were back in the meadow. Deak and Teal had already begun their change.
She decided it was best if she sat by a tree out of sight and gave the wolves their privacy. It was an attempt to be polite—no one wanted an audience while their limbs contorted and skin ripped—but it was also for the sake of her stomach. Mari didn’t know if she would ever become accustomed to watching a werewolf change forms.
“Hey Red,” she greeted Jasper when he appeared around the side of the tree and kneeled in front of her.
Other than a pair of briefs he was naked and notably unbothered by the cold. Mari was actually relieved by his exposed skin because it was extra warm following the change. Jasper gasped when she slapped her frigid hands on his chest and wiggled to tuck her face in the crook of his neck.
“You ready?” He asked with a chuckle.
“Ready for what?”
“For your party.”
Mari narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “My party?”
“The party.” Jasper corrected with mischief on his face.
“Right,” she was chary about giving him her hand when the mischief travelled to his lips in a grin. “I’m ready for the party.” Mari stopped him before he could lead her to the house. “Um, Jas? I think you’re forgetting something.”
Jasper followed Mari’s gaze to his exposed legs and his grin widened. “You sure you want me to put my clothes back on?”
She swallowed and forced her eyes to his face. “It’s cold.”
“That’s not a yes.” He called after her as she went to retrieve his clothes.
Mari didn’t know what to expect when it came to werewolf parties but she was impressed by what she saw when they emerged from the woods. Apparently Clem was busy while the others were out hunting. The stone fire pit roared with inviting flames and the patio was aglow from strings of fairy lights that hung along the back of the house. Even the trampoline was wrapped in gentle yellow light.
Two tables were situated on the edge of the patio. They were covered in finger food, plates of cookie and other desserts, and bottles of champagne. It was hard to imagine the wolves were hungry after eating a deer but Mari was learning that their appetites were an unstoppable force. Cash was already hunched over one table, devouring cookies.
The pack did that creepy thing where they moved as one, turning to stare at the new arrivals when Mari and Jasper appeared. They stood stone still, smiling at Mari like she won the lottery. It took all of her willpower not to duck behind Jasper’s back and hide. Surprisingly, Cora was the first to make a move. She jogged across the patio and stopped less than a foot from Mari, reaching petite hands out to cup her face. For a second Mari was afraid the she-wolf intended to kiss her.
“Are you…crying?” She asked Cora uncomfortably.
Cora sniffled, confirming that she was shedding tears. “You are somethin’ strange , devil woman.”
“I’m not sure that’s a compliment.” Mari stared awkwardly at the she-wolf. “Does this mean we’re friends now?”
Her heart sank when Cora replied “we’re not friends, we’re pack.”
Jasper squeezed Cora’s shoulder before guiding Mari away. If she didn’t know any better, she would have said that Jasper was trying to distract her. His distraction worked when she saw what he was fiddling with.
“Is that my MP3 player?”
“Yes,” he answered. “Teal figured out how to make it work.”
Mari was about to crack a joke along the lines of “how many werewolves does it take to turn on an iPod” but the music started playing from speakers tucked around the tables and the joke was forgotten. The first song was one of her favorites, Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon,” from the werewolf playlist she’d driven Jasper mad with all summer.
“How apropos.” She grinned at him.
“I thought you’d be pleased.” Jasper took her hands. “And I hoped that you would dance with me.”
She gave a shy nod. Mari loved to dance but in such a small crowd they were making a scene and she didn’t want to be stared at anymore. Thankfully as soon as Jasper pulled her onto the stone patio Cora and Charlie joined them in a slow dance.
“I still can’t believe you can dance.”
Jasper feigned offense. “I have the grace of a hunter and you think I can’t dance?”
“Well, after that first time…”
“I’ve honed my skills since then. I’ve heard that learning how to dance is an essential part of courting a mate.”
Mari dipped her head to avoid his gaze but Jasper lifted her chin with a finger. “Don’t hide from me, honeysuckle.”
There was such intensity in his eyes. There always was. Jasper was a burning force of power and sometimes he completely overwhelmed her with his presence. Mari could feel the way he felt about her, could see it in that green gaze, and it made her feel ill. She would never see that look again after tonight.
Mari scanned the surrounding pack. They were laughing, dancing, drinking champagne, and looking the way any happy family should. For a tiny moment, Mari believed that perhaps she was making a mistake. But it was for them that she made this decision. That joy would evaporate if Lyse found a way to use them.
That didn’t mean Mari’s heart wasn’t breaking more with each moment she stood out here under the moon with them. She spent the last week reading with Clem, joking with Cash and Teal, enjoying Charlie’s cooking, and touching Jasper every chance she got. He didn’t question it when she started sleeping in his bed every night. He simply assumed she was finally giving in to her feelings.
That was the worst part. Every time she kissed him, ran her fingers through his hair, counted the freckles on his temple, Jasper thought she was accepting him. In truth, she was saying a slow, excruciating goodbye.
Mari had already decided she was too much of a coward to say that goodbye out loud but now, seeing what he’d done for her tonight, seeing the hope in his eyes, she doubted herself. Wouldn’t it hurt him worse to disappear without a word? Didn’t Jasper deserve an explanation?
“What’s wrong?” He frowned at her.
Even with a marred brow, he was so unbelievably handsome. Truly and absolutely perfect. Mari had no right to perfect. She didn’t deserve perfect. She’d never done anything in her life that made her worthy of someone like him. So why the hell did he look at he
r like that? She brought him much more misery than happiness.
“Can I speak to you? Alone?”
Jasper took her by the hand, led her around the side of the house, and into the shadow of the trees. “What’s bothering you?”
“I need to tell you something.” she steeled herself. This was the right thing to do. This was how she would protect him and the pack. This was how she would do the most good. “I’m not going to stay with the pack.”
“Is that why you’ve been sad?” He asked calmly.
“Yes. I have to leave.”
“No you don’t.” He scoffed.
“There’s more.” She sucked in a breath, seeking courage from wherever she could. “I’m going to join Lyses’ coven.”
“What?” Mari could have shot him and he would have looked less shocked.
“I care about you and the pack. That’s why I have to do this.” She explained to him her plan to join the coven and fix it from within. “You’ll be safe this way. She won’t curse you again. I’ll make sure of it.”
“No.”
“No? I have a choice in this, Jasper.”
“You don’t have a choice to join that coven. You know what they did to me. She’ll do worse to you.” He said in a gravelly tone.
“I can change that. She wants me as her second. I’ll have a say.”
“Are you really that gullible?” He began to pace in front of her. “We’re all safer with you here. And you’re safer with us.”
“No, you’re not. This is my fault. What happened to you the other night? That was my fault. I called her, Jasper. I asked her to meet me. That’s why she did what she did to you.” Mari bit her lip. “I’ve been lying to you. I’ve been lying to the whole pack. I thought the least I could do was tell you the truth before I leave.”
