‘OK.’ She nodded, her limbs trembling. ‘I get that one.’
‘Well, can you get the rest a little quicker, please? Because I’m going insane here.’
‘What’s the rest?’
‘I love you. I love you. I love you.’
His arms were tight around her and his words ran over each other, all over her, and she couldn’t see through the sheen of tears, couldn’t breathe because her face was pressed hard into his shoulder.
‘Jack?’ she gasped, her fingers clutching at his shirt as she tried and failed to comprehend this magic.
Eventually he took her hands in his, not quite calmly saying it again. And more. ‘We’ll stay here until the baby arrives. Then I can prep for the season in Karearea. You and the baby can stay in the lodge with me. Is that OK? Do you think you could want that?’
‘Oh—’
His mouth moved over hers—not giving her the chance to answer. The kiss was wet and didn’t work well because she was sobbing and shaking but it didn’t matter. He was here and he was real and not only was he not leaving, he wasn’t letting her go.
Finally he lifted his head and looked her directly in the eyes. ‘You’re so precious to me,’ he said. ‘You’re everything to me. And it scares me so much. So much more than any sheer slope.’
Kelsi still couldn’t move, still couldn’t believe. ‘Is it me or is it the baby?’
‘Kelsi, I came back for you. It’s always been you. Before we even knew about the baby, it was you.’
Her stunned-mullet reaction made him haul her closer and speak even faster. ‘From the moment I saw you, you got into my heart and I need you there. I should have known at the time. You’re the whole reason I came back from Canada—it wasn’t my stupid knee. It was you. And now, yes, the baby, too. I’ve got you both and I never knew how much I needed you.’
‘But I don’t want you to ruin your life.’ Her tears streamed. ‘I don’t want you giving up something you love so much because you want to do the right thing.’
‘This isn’t the right thing. This is the only thing. I can’t go. My happiness depends on staying. I’m still the same selfish jerk. Holding on to you is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.’ He bent his head, speaking in even more of a rush than before. ‘You’re so strong, Kelsi. And courageous—far more courageous than me. And you’re hard-working and talented and funny and I love everything about you.’ He pulled her closer and she could feel how he was shaking, too.
‘You won’t get bored?’ she asked, painfully aware of how pitiful the question was, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking it. ‘You’re a man who loves a challenge, Jack.’
‘You know what?’ he said softly. ‘I finally get what Dad meant when he said he had challenges bigger and more rewarding than Everest. I was his challenge, Kelsi. As you’re mine. And our baby will be our challenge to deal with together. It’s so exciting, don’t you think? No bigger challenge than that. And we’ll face it together.’
‘But I don’t want you giving up everything. That’s not fair.’
‘It’s just this season—and it’s half over already. I can train in the gym and then pick up again come the New Zealand winter. I’ll still have to travel. And I’m still going for the Olympics and my gold medal. But maybe by then you and the baby could come with me?’
She crumpled and hid her face in his chest again. ‘I want to. I want to cheer you on and be there for you—oh, everywhere. I want your kind of excitement. I want the adventure. I wanted to change my life for you, too, Jack.’ Her voice broke. ‘I just didn’t think you wanted me to.’
‘Kelsi…’ he groaned. ‘You can trust me, darling. I’m never going to leave you, I’m never going to let you down. So don’t ever hold back from me—don’t hide. You don’t have to protect yourself any more, because it’s my job to protect you.’
Fighting back the sobs, she mumbled the plan she’d so secretly dreamed of. ‘I can work anywhere,’ she said quickly. ‘Wireless internet, you know? I can freelance. It’ll be fun.’
‘After the baby’s born. You’re staying within five miles of a hospital until then.’
‘OK.’ And she finally felt the warmth as it sank in. He was here. He really was here for her. He wanted her and together they could have it all.
‘And you know we have a lot to do in the next few months. We have to get this place fixed up.’
She nodded, her smile unstoppable.
‘And maybe…’ His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. ‘Neither of us are particularly mainstream, Kelsi. But do you think you could cope with something as conventional as marriage?’
She looked, saw the flicker of uncertainty, and her confidence soared. ‘I’m more of a traditionalist than you think, Jack Greene. Because I don’t class that as a proposal.’
He laughed and pressed a quick kiss to her mouth, then dropped to his knees before her. ‘You like me like this, don’t you?’ he teased.
‘You know I do.’ She cupped her hands on his jaw—feeling the stubble, the strength, seeing the sudden flash of tenderness, passion, truth in his eyes.
‘Please marry me, Kelsi.’ He wasn’t joking now.
‘Are you sure?’
His groan was pure desperation. ‘Kelsi—’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Yes, please.’
He scooped her up swiftly, easily, shouldering the door open and taking the stairs two at a time.
‘Watch your knee,’ she said breathlessly, clinging to him.
He laughed and barged into her bedroom. But when he laid her on the bed his expression went serious again—and sorry.
‘I got on the plane and pretty much freaked out. I’m so sorry I thought I could walk out on you. On this.’
This time the kiss was sublime. This time the kiss was endless and infinitely tender. This time he was the one who trembled—as if the reality of what had almost happened hit him. That he’d almost lost her.
He pulled her close and she sensed his urgency—the conflicting needs tearing him apart as he tried to stay gentle while desperate to be with her as deeply and as quickly as possible.
‘Relax,’ she soothed as she kissed him back with as much love as she had in her.
‘I’m sorry,’ he choked. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Shh.’ She kissed him again and kept kissing him so he could no longer agonise.
His face flushed, his fingers trembling as he reached out to her. And so she welcomed him—opening herself up so he could access every last inch of her heart and soul. She smiled as he claimed his spot in the very centre of her. He muttered her name over and over, the words of love over and over. He couldn’t hold them back and she couldn’t hide how they affected her.
In his arms she was bared completely, at her most vulnerable.
And never so safe.
They lay quietly for a few moments, recovering from the overload of sensation and emotion. And then he stretched out with a sigh and a smile of absolute satisfaction. ‘We really need to think about designing the master bedroom.’
‘Where’s that going to be?’ Kelsi frowned as she tried to concentrate. Now she thought about it, she hadn’t seen it on the plans.
‘Right about here,’ he said, watching her closely. ‘I’m going to take out your flat. You don’t mind?’
‘No.’ Happiness ran through her veins faster than the blood he’d already heated. The house would be whole, just as they’d be whole—together. ‘It’ll be fun creating something new.’
His expression lit up as he gave her a huge smile. ‘Maybe we should build our own place on Karearea, too, rather than staying at the lodge.’
‘You’re going to build homes everywhere now?’
‘Sure. Now I have the family to keep in them.’
And that sweet statement so totally deserved a reward.
‘Have you told your mother about the baby yet?’ he asked when he could speak again—quite some time later.
‘Yes,’ Kelsi said softly.
He tilted her face so he could see it clearly. ‘We’ll go and see her in person soon, OK? I can’t wait to meet her.’
Her eyes were watering ridiculously now. Because he would—she knew with absolute certainty that she could count on him.
‘Kelsi?’ He chuckled but wiped the tears away with gentle thumbs. A pointless exercise because it only made more tears flood her eyes and tumble down her cheeks.
‘Hormones, right?’ he asked.
‘Totally.’ She sniffed. ‘Not.’ She threw her arms around him. ‘I love you, Jack Greene.’
He rolled so he could be the cushion for her head—and her heart. His sigh long and relieved. ‘Thank goodness.’
He brushed her hair and tears back and held her until the last of her doubts drained away. And at last she believed in him and in herself.
In each other’s arms, they’d finally found home.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-8916-5
WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
First North American Publication 2011
Copyright © 2011 by Natalie Anderson
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