Reign

by Elizabeth Kelly

  Not his mate. Stop thinking that way.

  My good mood dispelled almost instantly and I stared up at the ceiling again. Every time we slept together now, Quill called me his mate. He didn’t do it outside of the bed and we never talked about the fact that he called me his mate. We both knew it wasn’t true, but it made me feel good to be called his mate. I couldn’t bring myself to say it to him though. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.

  I supposed part of it was because I knew it wasn’t real, but there was also Evelyn to consider. I grimaced. I didn’t know why I was worrying about the feelings of a woman I had met only once. But as the days passed, I thought more and more about her and compared myself to her. How would I feel if the situation was reversed? How hurtful would it be to be mated for life to an alien who would always love another?

  I blinked rapidly as hot tears threatened. Quill did love me. I wasn’t stupid. I could see it when he looked at me, feel it in his warm touch and the way he whispered the sweetest endearments in my ear when we made love. I had asked Galan one day when he was visiting and Quill was out of the room, what sadora really meant. I could barely contain my tears when he told me it was a pet name that a Draax gave to the one he loved.

  Most nights after the lovemaking was over, Quill would coax secrets and truths from me that I never thought I would tell anyone. He hadn’t judged me when I admitted tearfully that while I loved Carrie, I was, in fact, a little resentful that I’d had to quit medical school to take care of her. I’d felt awful the moment I said it, but Quill had soothed me quickly and assured me it was normal to feel that way. I’d told him about my childhood, about my parents, and how much I still missed them.

  He had told me about his childhood as well, and how important Galan and Krey were to him. The only part of his life he didn’t share was how his brother had died. I hadn’t pushed him to talk about it. I had come dangerously close to losing my sister and I couldn’t imagine how painful it was for Quill.

  Quill hadn’t invited Galan to join us in bed again, although Galan had spent a couple of evenings with us. I thought it would be awkward as hell, but surprisingly it wasn’t. Galan and Quill were so close, and the lack of awkwardness between them had quickly made any of mine disappear.

  I sighed and rolled to my side. I should have been pulling away like Teo said. I had at most a few days left with Quill before the storm ended and I would never see him again. My stomach churned. Yeah, I really should be putting some distance between us, but I couldn’t do it. Not when this was my last chance to be with him. I would never see him again and I’d spend the rest of my life alone and mourning my love for him.

  Fuck! Stop thinking that way!

  My inner voice was right. I needed to stop thinking about it and enjoy my time with Quill while it lasted. I would be alone soon enough and have plenty of time to cry then.

  When Quill returned to the bedroom, there was no trace of tears on my face and I smiled happily at him. “Hey there.”

  “Hello, sadora. I am sorry. Bitta called and needed to speak with me.”

  “That’s okay. Has he figured out what the encrypted emails say?”

  He shook his head and I could see the frustration on his face as he slid into bed beside me. He relaxed on his back and put his arm around me. I rested my arms on his chest and studied his face. “Is he any closer?”

  “He says he is, but I am starting to not believe him,” Quill grumbled. He rubbed his hand over his face and I could feel his tail curving around to thump against my thigh under the covers. “I spoke to Galan and Teo about it two days ago, in hopes that they might have an idea who is sending the emails, but they can not think of anyone either.”

  I rubbed his chest as his tail flicked more rapidly. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re doing your best.”

  He shook his head. “There is a very real threat to my people and I am failing them as their king.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re a good king, Quill.”

  “My brother was a good king,” he said moodily. “I am a good warrior.”

  “Do you like being king?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “It is my obligation to my people and I will do it.”

  “But you find it stressful.”

  “A little,” he admitted. “It is more stressful as of late.”

  “You’ll figure out who is sending the emails to the Gokmards,” I said confidently.

  “Yes.” His gaze slid away from mine.

  “That isn’t what’s making it so stressful, is it?” Guilt flooded through me. I was making Quill’s job as king more difficult. I was demanding too much of his time and I gave him a look of shame. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking up so much of your time.”

  He shook his head and pressed a kiss against my forehead. “No, sadora, that is not it. It is more stressful because I – I suddenly want something that I can never have, but if I was not king, it would not matter. I could have what I wanted.”

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat. What he was saying was sweet, and I loved him for it, but we had spoken about his desire for children. Even if he wasn’t king, I could never be his mate. He wanted children desperately, and I could never give him what he wanted.

  I made my voice gentle. “You need a mate who can give you children, whether you are king or not, Quill.”

  “I would be happy without children,” he said stubbornly.

  I smiled at him and kissed his broad chest. “No, my King, you would not.”

  He just gave me a moody look, and anxious to not ruin our last few days together, I said, “Were you close to your brother?”

  “Not as close as you and your sister,” he said. “He was over a decade older than me and I was more a nuisance to him growing up.”

  I smiled as he stared at the ceiling. “I admired him though. He was very clever and well respected by our people. He was my father’s favourite, but I did not resent him for it.”

  “Was your mom around?” I asked.

  “She died giving birth to my sister,” he replied. “She lost too much blood and not even the gallberry juice could heal her in time.”

  I gave him a look of surprise. “You have a sister?”

  “She died shortly after birth.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I said before kissing his chest again. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

  “Thank you, sadora.” He rubbed my back. “It was a long time ago.”

  “Will you tell me how your brother died?”

  “He was visiting the Tribid planet. He was negotiating a trade agreement with them. On the return trip home, his ship malfunctioned, and they crash landed. No one on board survived the impact.”

  “Oh, honey,” I whispered. He spoke stoically but I could see the pain in his eyes. I hugged him and kissed his chest again as his tail wrapped around my waist.

  “Teo was the one who told me. I did not believe him at first. I – I screamed at him and called him a liar. He brought Galan and Krey into the room and they convinced me of the truth. Galan and Krey were the,” he paused and I heard his throat click as he swallowed, “the ones who arrived at the ship first.”

  I rubbed his chest as he sighed. “I was crowned king the next day and Galan was named head of the King’s Guard.”

  “You miss it,” I said.

  “Very much. But my duty is to my people.”

  “Why wasn’t your brother mated?”

  “He was searching for a mate when he died. He waited in hopes of finding a Draax female. He wanted a pure born Draax as his heir, but he had underestimated just how few Draax females of breeding age were left. Teo was beginning the process of finding him a human when his ship crashed.”

  “Do you believe your people want a pure Draax as an heir?”

  He shook his head. “No, they do not care. They only want an heir. My brother’s death made them nervous, and my lack of children is a worry for them.”

  “What would happen if, uh, you died without having children?” Even thinking about
Quill dying made me feel sick to my stomach.

  “Most likely Eastolf would claim it as his own. He is the King of the Eastern Province,” he said before I could ask.

  “Is he a good king?” I asked.

  “He is not as concerned about his people’s needs and wants,” Quill said. “He rules differently than my brother did, or I do, and it makes some Draax unhappy.”

  “Oh,” I replied.

  We laid quietly in the dark for a few moments before Quill cupped my breast and teased my nipple into a hard point. “Are you too sore to make love, sadora?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Are you certain? You have been craving more gallberry juice the last few days.”

  “I’m positive. I want you, Quill.”

  He rolled to face me and kissed me sweetly. “I want you too, my mate.”

  * * *

  Quillan

  She was still sleeping when I slipped out of the bed early the next morning. Not used to our planet, the sudden silence that indicated the end of the storm hadn’t awoken her. I had roused immediately and with dread in my belly, dressed quickly and left.

  By the time I found Teo, he’d already contacted earth and found the name of Sabrina’s new employer. He’d also sent the Draax, a farmer named Brandel, an email.

  “What was his reply?” I asked.

  “He has not replied,” Teo said, “but that is not unusual. No doubt the signal is not viable yet in his area. It always takes a day or two for it to work outside of the city after a storm.”

  “We should wait until he does.”

  “What for?” Teo gave me a puzzled look. “I sent the message only as a courtesy. Does it matter if he knows we are coming or not? No doubt he will be very pleased to finally have the correct human, and he is only a few hours away by land vehicle.”

  “We should wait,” I said stubbornly.

  Teo sighed. “My King, it is best to take the human today. I know you care deeply for her, and I am sorry that you must give her up, but your responsibility to your kingdom comes first.”

  “I know!” I snapped. “I am not a fool, Teo.”

  “No, you are not,” he said patiently. “But you are in love with the little human and wish to do whatever you can to keep her with you. It is not possible, my King.”

  He placed his hand on my arm and stared at me. “I am sorry, Quill. But you must give her up and you must do it today. The sooner you breed with your actual mate and fill her belly with a child, the better for the kingdom.”

  My stomach rolled at the thought of sleeping with someone other than Sabrina, and Teo gave me a look of alarm. “Quill? Are you all right?”

  “Fine.” I shook loose of his grip. “I have to go.”

  “Will you get the human ready for transport this afternoon?” He called as I stalked toward the door.

  “Yes.” I slammed the door shut behind me. I walked to my quarters and opened the door. Sabrina was standing in the kitchen wearing my shirt and drinking a glass of gallberry juice. Her smile of greeting died on her lips.

  “Honey? What’s wrong?”

  “The storm ended.”

  Her face paled and she set the glass down on the counter before walking to the window. She drew back the curtains and held up her hand when the bright sun streamed in. I joined her as she stared silently out the window.

  “There are a lot more buildings than I expected,” she finally said.

  “The palace overlooks the biggest city in the western province.”

  “Oh,” she said. “Did you find out who my employer is?”

  “Yes. Teo has already contacted him.”

  “Of course he has.”

  The despair in her voice made my chest hurt and I wrapped my tail around her waist. “My mate -”

  “No,” she said quickly. “Please don’t call me that, Quill. Not now.”

  “I am sorry.”

  “Me too.” She studied the cold landscape. “When do I leave?”

  “This afternoon.”

  She jerked in surprise but leaned away when I tried to pull her into my embrace. Only my tail was touching her, and I resisted my urge to tug her closer.

  “Could I hologram my sister before I leave?” She asked.

  “Of course,” I replied. “Sadora, please look at me.”

  “No,” she whispered. “Don’t make me.”

  “Please,” I pleaded.

  With a low sigh, she turned her head as tears slipped down her cheeks. For the first time since she arrived, the sun touched her face. It made her silky dark hair gleam and I blinked in surprise when I studied her eyes. I had thought her eyes to be blue, but the sun revealed a lovely light purple tint to them that reminded me of the colour of our females. I stepped closer and bent to study her eyes more closely.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” She blinked and the purple was gone.

  “I wish it was different, sadora,” I said.

  She smiled and began to cry in earnest. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, pressing kisses against her face. “Please do not cry, my mate. Please.”

  She wiped her face and gave me a shaky smile. “I am not your mate, Quill. Evelyn is. I wish to God I was your mate, but I’m not.”

  “I wish for that too.” I stared helplessly at her. “But my duty to my people -”

  “I know. The stupid thing is, I admire you so much for doing the right thing even though it isn’t what you want.”

  “It is not,” I said raggedly as I kissed her again. “I want to be with you, sadora.”

  “We don’t always get what we want,” she whispered.

  “Come to bed,” I said. “We have time before -”

  “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.” Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “I just – I can’t. It’ll make it so much harder to leave. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” I said, even though I didn’t.

  “Will you help me hologram my sister?”

  “Yes.”

  * * *

  Sabrina

  “Sabrina! Oh my God! Oh, Sabrina!” Carrie’s pale face was flushed with colour and she leaned forward as she studied me. “I was so afraid. Are you all right? Why haven’t you contacted me? It’s been nearly a month. I called the agency, but they wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  “I’m sorry.” I stared at the slender figure of my sister. Quill had helped me place the call before leaving his quarters and giving me some privacy. “There was a storm when we landed and it knocked out all of the Draax communication.”

  “You keep blipping in and out.” Carrie said.

  “The signal probably isn’t great yet. The storm only ended this morning.”

  “It lasted all month?”

  “Yes.”

  “Weird. How do you like your new employer?” Carrie asked. “Is he nice?”

  “Actually, there was a bit of a mix-up and I ended up being sent to the, uh, King of the Western Province.”

  Carrie blinked at me. I might have been fuzzy and blipping in and out to her, but she was crystal clear on my end. I had to bite back my urge to try and hug her.

  “The king?”

  “Yes. They implanted me with the wrong identification chip.”

  “Oh my gosh. What happened?”

  “Uh, nothing. I’ve just been, um, hanging out here at the palace and waiting for the storm to end.”

  “Did you meet the king?” Carrie asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “That’s kind of cool.”

  “Sure. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay and I’m leaving for my actual employer’s home this afternoon. It’s the cold season here and they get quite a few of these storms. I might not be able to email you every day like I promised.”

  Carrie pouted unhappily. “But I miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” I said. “How’s Josh?”

  “He’s good. He’s at work right now.”

  “How are you feeling?” I a
sked a bit anxiously.

  “Perfect. At my last doctor’s appointment, the tumour was completely gone.”

  “That’s wonderful,” I said. “You look really good. You’ve gained back some weight.”

  She smiled at me and rubbed her belly. “Actually, there’s another reason why I’m gaining weight.”

  My heart dropped into my stomach, but I forced myself to smile at her. “What’s that?”

  “I’m pregnant!” She gave me a gleeful look. “Josh and I are going to have a baby, Sabrina. Isn’t that amazing?”

  “It is.” I blinked rapidly to keep the tears from falling. “It’s wonderful.”

  “I’m just under a month along,” she said. “I wouldn’t have even known except the doctor discovered it when he was doing the scan for the tumour. I’m so happy, Sabrina, and Josh is just over the moon about it. He’s already planning out the nursery and picking out baby names.”

  My stomach was churning and I was incredibly close to vomiting, but I forced another smile. “That’s so lovely, Carrie. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you. I need you here though. Do you think your employer would give you a few weeks off to come and take care of me when the baby is born? You know I’ll need help.”

  I swallowed down my bitterness. “Uh, I’m not sure about that. I can ask, but a few weeks is a long time.”

  “I know, but I’m your sister. I need you, Sabrina,” Carrie said pleadingly. “Just ask him for me, okay?”

  “Okay. Listen, I have to go. I’m leaving the palace soon and I still need to pack.”

  “But I haven’t talked to you for so long. Just a little longer?”

  “I can’t. I’ll call you again in a couple of days once I’m settled at the new place. Okay?”

  “Sabrina…”

  “I love you, Carrie. Talk soon!” I made a kissing noise and quickly shut the hologram off before Carrie could say anything. The moment she disappeared, I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I threw up everything in my stomach, it was mostly gallberry juice, before rinsing my mouth and staggering to Quill’s bedroom. I collapsed on the bed and sobbed bitterly as I buried my face in Quill’s pillow.