Dark Ride

by Caroline Green

  After dinner, I was curled up on the sofa thinking about everything that had happened earlier. I’d witnessed something horrible but I couldn’t stop going over the moment when we were sat together on the carousel. I caught my breath when I remembered the way Luka looked at me. For a crazy moment I’d actually thought he might be going to kiss me. The more likely explanation was that hanging around in that weird place was making my imagination do mad things.

  Mum came into the room with a big B&Q bag. She was grinning a nervous sort of grin. ‘Hey, lazybones,’ she said. ‘How about getting off your bum and giving me a hand?’

  She really had no idea how hard a day I’d had, but I swung my legs round and sat up. She pulled a large box out of the bag.

  ‘What’s that?’ I said, even though the words 4.5 feet Spruce Pine Artificial Tree were clearly written in big letters on the side of the box.

  ‘It’s a Christmas tree,’ said Mum, her smile faltering. ‘Thought it was about time we made this house a bit more homely. We can decorate it together. Look, I even bought some —’

  ‘But it’s fake!’ I cut across her. ‘We always have a real tree.’

  Mum had been hanging some tinsel around her neck and her arms fell to her sides.

  ‘I know that,’ she said patiently, ‘but we haven’t got the space now and this one will last for ever. Look, it’s quite nice! Very realistic, in fact.’ She pulled the green plasticky thing out of the box and set about getting it upright.

  It did look realistic. You’d never have known it was fake if you had no sense of smell and no soul. It just wasn’t Christmas with a fake tree.

  My eyes started to fill up. In that moment I’d have done anything to have a time machine that could take me back to London and my old life, with Dad there. Even if they were fighting, life there was better than this grotty place with scary men and lonely boys with lost eyes and mothers who didn’t even seem to care that they had killed Christmas stone dead.

  Mum was staring at me. ‘Bel? What is it?’ She crawled over on her knees and I burst out crying. I just couldn’t stop it. Snot and tears were all down my face but she put her arms around me anyway. I wailed like a baby.

  ‘Oh Bel,’ she said softly, stroking my hair. ‘I know it’s been hard for you, moving here. And I know how much you’re missing your dad. But we’ll get used to it. It’ll be brilliant in the summer, being by the sea. Everything will be okay, honey, it really will.’

  I stopped crying and took my hands away from my face. I knew my eyes had almost disappeared and my nose was still running but I didn’t care. ‘You’ve got to make Dad come for Christmas!’

  She frowned. ‘Bel, it’s not as straightforward —’

  ‘You have to!’ I interrupted. ‘If you tell him you want him here too, he’ll come, I know he will.’

  Mum sat back on her heels and studied my face for a long time. When she spoke again her voice was very quiet. ‘I know that you think this is all down to me. But there are complicated things I can’t really explain to you, grown-up things, and —’

  ‘You made him go, so don’t pretend you didn’t!’

  Sometimes I find myself standing and shouting and can’t remember exactly how I got there. This was one of those times.

  ‘I know that’s what happened! It’s all your fault!’

  Mum’s face hardened as she got to her feet too. ‘Bel, you know nothing about it.’

  ‘Then tell me then!’ I wailed.

  Mum looked at me for a long, long time. When she spoke her voice was shaky. ‘It’s over between me and your dad, Bel,’ she said quietly. ‘We’re not going to be living here all together. You have to face that. The truth is that me and your dad, well, we’ve moved on. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.’

  ‘LIAR!’ I screamed. I was so close I could see my crazed reflection in her eyes. ‘It’s all your fault! You’re a liar and I hate you! I hate you!’

  I felt the slap before my brain registered what had happened.

  Mum gasped, like she couldn’t believe what she’d done. ‘Bel, wait!’ she shouted.

  But I turned away and walked out of the room with as much dignity as I could muster. As I was leaving, I heard the Christmas tree slump sideways with a sound like a sigh.

  CHAPTER 13

  Runaway

  My bedroom door had an old-fashioned lock and key.

  I took great satisfaction in hearing Mum wiggle the handle desperately. I didn’t go downstairs for the rest of the evening, just lay in bed snuffling until I could barely see through my puffy eyes.

  I must have slept eventually because soon weak light was coming through my curtains and Mum was calling through my bedroom door.

  ‘Bel? Bel, are you awake?’ She rattled the handle. ‘Look, darling ... I’m so sorry I ... I slapped you. I will never, ever do it again, I promise. Bel?’

  I ignored her and put my hands over my ears until I made out the muffled thump of the front door closing. I wasn’t prepared to hear any more of her poisonous lies.

  Lying there in the unfriendly, empty house, I’d never felt so lonely. It was like there was nowhere I really belonged any more. I thought about going back to the fairground, which was about the only place I’d felt like me lately, despite all the strangeness. I wanted to see Luka, badly. But then I remembered the way we’d parted. Maybe he wouldn’t be pleased to see me and I didn’t think I could bear it if he told me to get lost. I was so sore inside already.

  The only place I could imagine being was back in London, at Jasmine’s house. We’d always been able to make each other feel better about stuff. Within ten minutes I was stuffing clothes into my rucksack, trying to work out how long it would take to walk to the station and find a train back to London. I decided I’d ring Jasmine from the train. Or better still, surprise her.

  I slowed down as I got to the end of the road and patted my pocket. There was forty pounds in there, saved from my birthday. I’d had an idea of saving up for an iPod, but that seemed stupid now. What use was an iPod when your family was in bits and your own mother hit you?

  It was freezing today and my teeth were chattering a bit as I hurried along the road.

  I walked for about fifteen minutes in the direction I thought I’d find the station. It was definitely around here somewhere ... maybe around the next corner. Or maybe just a bit further.

  After a while I slowed down as the horrible realisation sunk in.

  I’d somehow managed to get lost in this tiny, poxy town.

  I stopped walking and let the rucksack fall to the ground, narrowly missing a clump of dog poo. I looked around at the quiet street and sighed heavily, leaning against a wall.

  I put my head in my hands and tried to picture myself getting off the train at St Pancras station. I imagined all the busy, purposeful people stampeding past me. What did I really think would happen if I ran away? Jasmine’s mum would probably get straight on the phone to Mum the minute she saw me. I pushed myself away from the wall, heart like a brick. I decided I’d just go home and wrap myself in a duvet, eat biscuits and watch daytime TV. Maybe I could blank out the world for a while.

  I didn’t have the energy to walk and dragged my weary bones to the nearest bus stop to check out where I was. Two women with buggies were waiting there and chatting. I must have looked a bit starey-eyed and mad because they shifted along slightly.

  ‘Can I get a bus back into town from here?’ I said, and one of them nodded.

  ‘Should be just a few minutes,’ she said.

  ‘Thanks,’ I mumbled and perched on the end of the bench.

  The two women carried on their conversation, which cut into my numb thoughts.

  ‘I heard it wasn’t coming down for another six months,’ said one.

  ‘Seems they’ve brought the schedule forward,’ said the other woman. ‘My cousin knows someone who works for McAllistair. It’s going at the end of January.’

  ‘Sooner they do it, the better,’ said the first woman. ‘Th
at fairground is an eyesore, if you ask me. You know what they say about it, don’t you?’

  The other woman snorted. ‘I can’t believe you’d fall for that nonsense!’

  ‘People hear things though! And how do you explain the fact that there are sometimes lights in there?’

  ‘I tell you, if that old dump is haunted, then I’m Lady Gaga!’ said the other woman. They both burst out laughing.

  My thoughts were churning around my head like clothes in a tumble dryer.

  Hardly surprising that the fairground had a weird reputation. But I was more worried about the other thing they’d said. Luka wouldn’t know that he only had a month left to live in the fairground. I pictured a huge pile of rubble. What would happen to him then? Maybe he’d leave Slumpton and move on somewhere else to look for Eva. The thought of never seeing him again was suddenly so awful I sank back against the hard plastic seat in a way that made the two mothers stare at me. I had to see him again, even if he was funny with me after yesterday.

  The bus appeared and the doors opened with a loud hiss. The women clambered on with all their stuff but I just stood there.

  ‘You getting on or what?’ said the driver.

  ‘Do you go anywhere near Sunshine Park?’ I asked.

  The driver nodded. ‘Get a move on, if you’re coming.’

  I used one of my tickets to get through the gates. I shivered as I looked around, thinking about the violence we’d witnessed yesterday. I felt a spasm of guilt about not going to the police. I’d pounced on what Luka had said because I was scared, but it wasn’t right to let something like that happen and not be reported, was it?

  I was getting colder and colder standing there so I decided to just put one foot in front of the other until I found Luka.

  I walked further into the fairground, but I only found his sleeping bag by the carousel. I bent down and touched the thin, shiny material.

  The wind whistling through all the boarded-up places made the back of my neck prickle but I forced myself to go on, trying not to look at the ghost train.

  Before long, the entrance to the old rollercoaster soared above me. It looked about four hundred years old. I shivered at the thought of rattling along in the rusty-looking carriages. Dad would have been on there like a shot. He thought I loved these rides too, but secretly I’d rather have stayed with Mum down on the ground and eaten candyfloss. Not that I was ever going to admit it.

  Towards the back of the fairground there was a low row of stalls with a roof and shutters along the front. A flaky sign on the roof read, Munch Zone and there was a picture of a huge open mouth with a big red tongue. It made me feel as though the mouth wanted to eat me too. There was something about this place that just blew up fears like a big magnifying glass.

  At that moment, I heard a noise and spun round.

  Luka was sitting up high on the side of the rollercoaster staring straight ahead. I couldn’t read his face at all. He looked like he’d been there for ages. Suddenly he got up and started to climb further up the metal struts. My heart began to thud as I ran over. He glanced down, but it was like he didn’t see me at all.

  ‘What are you doing? Come down, Luka! You’ll get hurt!’ I shouted. But he just carried on climbing. A big gust of wind blew a sheet of cardboard into the air and it whooshed towards Luka. I screamed. He batted it away but slipped, so that he ended up on his knees on the narrow ledge.

  ‘Luka!’ I was scared to breathe, as though I might somehow make him fall and I was shaking hard now with fear as I watched him heave himself upright again. He looked down at me finally, the wind pushing his black hair back from his face in a fan.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I screamed.

  He said something back but the wind just whisked it away.

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I’ve been figuring some things out,’ he yelled. ‘I have to know. I’m sorry, Bel.’

  And then he started to climb higher. I shouted until my throat ached. I wondered if I should run back to the seafront to find help, but I couldn’t bear to move in case it was just my willpower alone that was keeping him from falling.

  Soon he’d got to the top of the first support. There was a flat ledge and I gasped with relief that he was standing on something solid.

  Then he did the worst thing I’ve ever seen. He closed his eyes, put his arms out to the sides ... and stepped off the edge into thin air.

  CHAPTER 14

  You’ve Got to

  Help Me

  ‘Luka!’

  I covered my face because I couldn’t bear to see it but I still heard the sound he made as he hit the ground. I opened my eyes and ran over. He was facing away from me, lying on his stomach, his arm at an awkward angle. He looked very still and I fell down onto my knees next to him, crying in big, wracking sobs. His eyes were open but glassy-looking and his cheek was pressed hard against the ground.

  ‘You’re going to be OK, Luka!’ I wailed. ‘I’m going to get help. Just stay still.’

  I took off my jacket and laid it over his shoulders. I bent down and kissed his cold, dirty cheek. Then I ran faster than ever in my life towards the exit turnstile. The only person outside was a woman pushing a pram along the road. She looked alarmed as I ran up to her.

  ‘You’ve got to help me!’ I screamed. ‘It’s my friend! He’s had an accident!’

  She jiggled the pram as the baby inside started to wail. ‘Where?’

  ‘He’s in there!’ I pointed to the fairground and the woman pulled a pink mobile phone from her pocket.

  She made the call, darting suspicious glances at me the whole time. ‘They said they’d be here soon,’ she said when she’d hung up. She patted me awkwardly on the arm. ‘You know you shouldn’t be in there, don’t you? It’s dangerous.’

  I just hung my head and cried quietly, wondering if there was anything they could do or if Luka was already dead.

  It seemed like no time before a big yellow and green ambulance with all its nee-nawing and lights screeched up next to us. A man and a woman in paramedic gear leapt out, radio noises crackling in the background.

  ‘Where’s the casualty?’ said the woman to me.

  ‘He’s in there,’ I said and the two paramedics exchanged glances. They were looking at me differently now, as though I was some kind of vandal.

  ‘Look,’ said the woman, ‘it’s going to be very hard to get the rig in there. Take me to your friend and we can work out how we can help him, okay?’

  I nodded miserably and the lady paramedic came with me through the gates using the tickets.

  ‘What were you doing in here anyway?’ she said, not unkindly as we hurried through the fairground, past all the boarded-up stalls. ‘Didn’t you see all those signs?’

  I just snivelled.

  ‘Tell me exactly what happened,’ she said.

  ‘It’s my friend,’ I said. ‘He climbed up the side of the rollercoaster. Then he just threw himself off!’

  ‘Is he conscious?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘He’s just lying there. He’s right around this corner.’

  We came towards the concession stands.

  ‘He’s just over...’

  The words died in my throat.

  ‘Where?’ said the paramedic.

  I rushed over to the spot and saw that my jacket had been slung over the bottom rail of the rollercoaster. I opened and closed my mouth a few times.

  ‘But what, where ... ?’ I ran around wildly, trying to see where he’d gone. ‘Luka!’ I yelled at the top of my voice. ‘Where are you? You need help!’

  The paramedic started to speak into her radio. ‘Are you sure he was hurt?’ she said, turning to me. Her words were sharp but her eyes were kinder. ‘You know that wasting our time stops us from helping people who really need us.’

  ‘I’m sorry!’ I wailed. ‘But my friend really was here!’

  Her face softened. ‘Look, I’m sure if he was able to run away then he’s just a bit shaken up
. I’ll put a call in just in case he turns up at A&E, but I’m sure he’s fine.’

  She carried on speaking but I wasn’t listening any more. None of it made sense. We came back through the gates and I mumbled that I was sorry again and walked quickly away.

  I felt like I could hear the crackling radio all the way home.

  CHAPTER 15

  Lockett’s Rise

  It was 22 December, but there was no Christmas cheer in our house. Every time Mum tried to have that ‘proper talk’ with me, I walked off. So we passed each other like strangers, mouths set into lines.

  But I wasn’t even thinking about the row any more. I couldn’t stop going over and over the pictures in my head of what had happened with Luka. Maybe I’d misjudged how far he fell? Then I remembered the awkward way he was lying. He must have been really badly hurt, he must have been. How could he have got up and walked away? I kept imagining him lying injured somewhere and I couldn’t bear it. Mum was at work, so I decided to look in the fairground again, just in case he’d come back.

  I grabbed my jacket from the cupboard and put it on. My fingers closed around some paper in one of the pockets. It was an old envelope, folded into squares and then folded again. I opened it out, the creases like veins across the scrunched paper. The address read:

  Ms Eva Novak

  53 Lockett’s Rise

  Seaforth Road

  Slumpton

  LM26 6RY

  Eva? It hit me. Luka’s mum. He must have put this in my pocket after the fall. It was obviously a message. He wanted me to find him.

  I wasn’t taking any chances this time and rooted about in a drawer for the map of the town Mum had bought when we moved in. I stuffed it into my pocket before heading out.

  It was so cold the air hurt my lungs, but the sky was blue as a summer’s day as I trudged up the steep hill behind our houses.