Becoming Somebody

by Heather D'Agostino

  “I thought it was only fitting,” he smirked.

  “How’d you know?” I glanced around at the large warehouse turned apartment building.

  “He’s my nephew,” Kevin shrugged. “I might not know where he is, but I do know that he used to live here.”

  “What makes you think I want to deal with those memories every day?” I muttered.

  “We can look somewhere else,” he glanced around. “I just thought…”

  “No, I like it here, and Mara will, too.” I smiled and strode toward the building.

  It took me a little over a week to settle in, but I now owned a condo instead of renting an apartment. Mara seemed happy. I could tell she missed Nevada and Andy, but her new school was only a five-minute drive away. She’d made a couple of friends and was happy to have my mother around. Everything seemed to be happening just like I’d wanted, except finding Dev.

  “Where are you,” I mumbled at the sky every night. He’d said he’d find me. I’d done everything I could to make it easy for him. I’d changed my name back to Sam. I was living in the last place we’d been together. I’d even bought a condo in his building. I’d bought the bar and was only a week away from opening it. Last week, I’d even gone by the police station and asked if they could give me any information on his whereabouts. When they’d found out that I wasn’t even family, they’d laughed at me. Family members weren’t allowed to know the whereabouts of undercovers, so why would an ex-girlfriend?

  Ooooooooo

  The day before the bar was set to open, I was sitting at a table going over inventory. The staff I’d hired was busy setting everything up and organizing the liquor. It felt weird being back. I still didn’t spend much time in the office. No one questioned it, but the corner had become my makeshift office. It felt strange being in the back; that had always been Tori’s spot, and even though I was now the boss, I still thought of it as hers.

  “Hey, Sam?” Chris, a bartender I’d just hired the day before, called from where he was bent over behind the bar “We don’t have any bottled Buds back here. Did the truck come in yet?”

  “No,” I called back as I slumped against my seat. I thought things were going well, but it seemed that little issues kept coming up. “Can you ask Meredith to call the supplier?” I’d hired Meredith as an assistant manager right after I’d started renovating. She’d been a lifesaver through all of it. She played the role that used to be mine.

  “Sure thing,” he replied as he rounded the corner toward the back.

  “Holy shit!” said a shrill voice that caused my head to jerk upwards. “It is you!” I blinked a few times as the owner of the voice came scurrying toward me.

  “Tiff?” I gasped.

  She nodded and slid into the booth across from me. “Where the hell have you been?”

  “Uh,” I stuttered. “How did you?” I glanced at the door and then back at her.

  “It’s not locked,” she rolled her eyes. “When I walked by here last week, I saw that somebody had bought the place. I wanted to see if I could get a job, but the guy that was here said that the owner had gone home for the night.”

  I slowly nodded as I listened to her excited voice. She smiled at me as she reached across the table and grabbed my hands, “So you work here now? Since when? Where have you been, Mallory? You just didn’t show up one day, and now you’re back?”

  “Tiff?” I shook her hands as I tried to get her stop and look at me.

  “What is it?” Her forehead creased in confusion.

  “How much time do you have? I’ll tell you everything, but it’s gonna take time.”

  “I’ve got all day,” she grinned.

  “Ok,” I blew out a breath. I pointed at her, “Listen and no interrupting.”

  “Promise,” she giggled. “Did that hot piece kidnap you or something?”

  “Tiff,” I warned.

  “Sorry,” she sat back and placed her elbows on the table in front of her.

  I spent the next half hour spilling my guts. I told her everything. How I’d been running my entire life, about Dev, about Kevin, how I’d had to leave because George was going to find me. I told her about stopping in to get my check and running for my life back to my apartment. I told her about moving to Nevada, and right when I was getting ready to tell her about Mara… in she comes.

  “Mooommmmmmyyyy!” Mara came barreling through the door with my mother right behind her.

  “Hey,” I smiled as I met my mother’s gaze. I’m sure I looked confused. Normally, when my mom picked Mara up, they went back to the condo and waited for me to come home.

  “She wanted to see you. We weren’t sure when you’d get home tonight. I know you’re opening tomorrow,” my mom came over and stood near me. “I can take her home if you want.”

  “No, give her a few minutes. There’s pizza on the bar if you guys want a slice. We ordered earlier for the employees that stayed to finish setting up. I think it’s still warm.”

  “Great,” Mom’s shoulders slumped. “She wears me out, sometimes.”

  I laughed before looking back at Tiff, “This is Mara… my daughter.”

  Tiff stared for a moment as she watched Mara bounce on the seat near me before getting up and heading to the bar with grandma. Tiff’s eyes darted back and forth, before she dared to voice the question that I could see in her eyes, “Is she?”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled. I hadn’t gotten to finish my story from earlier, “I need to find him, and I’m back to do that, among other things.”

  “Wow!” Tiff gasped. “I can’t believe it. All that time and I thought…” she trailed off.

  “Everyone thought,” I assured her. “It was my job to keep it all a secret. I couldn’t tell anybody.”

  “So what does this mean now?” She looked around. My mom had made her way over to the pizza and was helping Mara up onto a stool.

  “I’m going open up this place tomorrow and try, with everything I have, to give her a normal life,” I nodded in my daughter’s direction. “I hope that one day, he’ll come back here. It’s his last known place of residence. I honestly don’t know other than that,” I swallowed to hold back the tears. My chest hurt from all the pain I’d been fighting to hide the last several weeks. I knew that if I let myself feel any of it, I’d never be able to stop. “So, you still want a job?”

  “Yeah,” Tiff grinned. “Is the owner around?” She swung her gaze around wildly.

  “Tiff,” I sighed. “I’m the owner,” I pointed at my chest.

  “But, I thought?” her mouth dropped open.

  “I bought this place,” I laughed, “and if you want a job, it’s yours.”

  “Seriously?” She shook her head as if she was trying to make sure that she understood what I was saying.

  “Yeah. You can start tomorrow. I need more bartenders. I know you know your stuff. What’dya say?”

  “I’m in,” she held her hand out across the table so I could shake. “I’m so in.”

  “We open at 4. You need to be here by 3:30,” I grinned.

  “No lunch shift?” she smirked. She knew the battle we’d fought with Tori over lunch hours.

  “I looked at the old financials. Tori left a bunch of paperwork in her office. Staying open at lunch put this place in the red. If we do well, then maybe later, but right now we’re an evening only bar with a happy hour,” I handed her some papers. “Fill this out, and bring it in tomorrow. You can wear your old shirts if you still have them. I’m not changing a thing other than the hours of operation. Things used to be good here,” I answered her confused expression. “I want them to be good again, and I think you’re just the person I need to do it.”

  “Wow!” she gasped. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Just don’t let me down.” I nodded in Mara’s direction, “The success of this place is what’s determining her future. I put everything I have into re-opening this place.”

  “I hear ya,” she glanced toward the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow
and thanks.”

  “You’re welcome,” I smiled as I watched her step through the door, and out onto the sidewalk. “Hey Mara,” I slid the papers that were in front of me over to the side, and waited for her to turn around.

  She spun on the barstool and looked at me all wide-eyed, “Yeah?”

  “Let’s go home,” I smiled.

  “Really?” she giggled as my mom’s mouth dropped open.

  “There’s nothing I can’t do here in the morning, and I won’t be home tomorrow night before you go to bed.” I shrugged.

  “Yippee!” she squealed as she jumped down and ran into my open arms. “It’s ok,” I murmured to my mom as she came over. “I’ve got this. You’re gonna have her a lot over the next few days. I’ll take her the rest of the night.”

  “Are you sure?” Mom placed her hand on my shoulder. “I really don’t mind.”

  “You’ve been a lifesaver, Mom, but I need time with my baby.” I smiled at her as I released Mara from my embrace. I stood and wrapped my mom in a hug. “Really, it’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “All right, see you tomorrow,” she mused as she released me and turned to leave.

  “Hey, Chris,” I called.

  “Yeah Boss,” he looked up from where he was stacking things.

  “You can go home. We’re closing for the night. We can finish this before we open tomorrow.”

  “Thanks,” he waved, grabbed his jacket, and then breezed by me. When he reached the door, he grabbed the handle and paused, “Hey, Boss?”

  “What is it?” I rubbed at my eyes as I gabbed some of the papers off the table I’d been sitting at.

  “You waiting on a ride or anything?” He glanced back at Mara and me.

  “No… why?” I mumbled absentmindedly.

  “No reason,” he called as stepped out the door. “See you tomorrow.”

  After turning off the lights to the front of the place, I dug my keys out of my purse, locked the front door, and grabbed Mara’s hand. We began walking down the sidewalk to where I’d parked my car. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. It was only seven-thirty at night. People were still out and about, but the feeling that crept over me began sending out a sense of foreboding. Something wasn’t right.

  I quickly picked up the pace, almost dragging Mara, as I took the last few steps to reach my car. I quickly unlocked it and rushed Mara in. After buckling her in her car seat, I rounded the front end, and opened my door. I paused to look back in the direction we’d come, that’s when I saw it. Hidden in the shadows away from the streetlights, a dark figured straddled a motorcycle across the street from the bar. It was just dark enough to hide him, but the chill that sank into my bones brought back all the old feelings. He was wearing a helmet, and when I paused to stare, he quickly cranked his bike and took off.

  It took a minute for me to react, but as I climbed in and locked my doors, panic began to set in. Who was that, and why were they watching me? Did George have reach from the inside? He was in prison, and according to Kevin, I was safe. I knew I needed to call him and report this, but at the moment, my fight or flight instinct was kicking in, and it was telling me to run. I had a child now, and I needed to protect her. I needed to get home where it was safe, and then I’d figure out my next move. I knew one thing for sure: I was done hiding. I was going to figure this out and fight it. I just needed to make sure Mara was safe first.

  Chapter 4

  After hastily tucking Mara in, I crept out into the living area of our condo and began pacing. I knew what I should do, but the possibility of losing the freedom I’d just recently gained scared me. I couldn’t go back to the life I’d just fought so hard to escape. I chewed on my nails nervously as I wandered into the kitchen. After pouring myself a glass of wine, I grabbed my phone and began alternating between convincing myself to call Kevin and telling myself I was being stupid. Fear for Mara’s safety won out, and I begrudgingly called the only person I could think of that could give me answers.

  “Hello,” Kevin’s voice was cheerful, not at all like it usually is.

  “I need your help,” I blurted out as I sank down on the couch.

  “Sam? What’s wrong?” The lightness in his tone quickly disappeared, and the stern all business tone I was used to appeared.

  “I don’t know exactly,” I murmured. I closed my eyes and blew out a breath as I went into the tale of my day. Kevin listened intently on the other end of the line as I rambled before I finally reached the point of taking a breath.

  “Sam! Calm down! I know you’re worried, but this doesn’t seem right. You’re safe, I promise,” he soothed.

  “How can you be sure? I feel so exposed now,” I panicked.

  “I know it’s going to be hard for you to trust people,” he grumbled as he cursed under his breath, “This is why I didn’t want you coming back here.”

  “But why would he be staring at me? Are you sure?” My voice raised an octave as I stood and stormed over to the window.

  “Sam,” he attempted to calm me again. “Whoever it was, they weren’t part of George’s crew. It could just be someone that saw the bar opening back up. It could be anything. I can call the local precinct and have someone check the place out if you want. I don’t know how to help other than that.”

  “Thanks, Kevin. That would be great. I’m sorry I keep bothering you. I feel like such a fool. I don’t know how to be normal. I’ve never lived in the open like this.”

  “It’ll take some adjusting; stop pushing so hard,” Kevin reassured. “I’ll call the station and see what they can do. Now get some rest.”

  “All right. Good night,” I disconnected the call, and tossed my phone onto the table in front of me. It was going to be a long night. I could sense that sleep wasn’t in my brain’s plan for the evening, and even though I was going to be exhausted the next day, I grabbed a blanket and curled up in front of the TV.

  ooooooooo

  When morning came, I was not ready. I awoke with Mara standing an inch from my face giggling. I’d fallen asleep on the couch and cartoons now blared in the background as she inched closer and closer.

  “Time to get up, Mommy,” she giggled as she kissed my nose.

  “Mommy’s tired,” I stretched and groaned as I shifted on the couch. All-nighters were not something that I was used to, and now I was going to be at work all day I’m sure.

  “Can we have pancakes for breakfast?” She bounced on her toes as I sat up and wiped my hands across my face.

  “Sure, baby. Go get dressed. Grandma’s gonna be here soon,” I stood and shuffled into the kitchen. As Mara disappeared into her room, I began grabbing everything I would need to make her favorite chocolate chip pancakes.

  I was so lost in my preparations that when a knock sounded at the door, I almost jumped out of my skin. My heart thundered in my chest, and it took a minute for me to calm myself.

  “Grandma!” Mara squealed as she blew past me and headed straight for the door. Before I could utter a word, she had it open and tugged my mother inside. “We’re having pancakes. Want some?” Mara led her into the kitchen and then took off for the living area.

  “Rough night?” My mom whispered as she glanced at me. “You look like you didn’t sleep well.”

  “I’m fine,” I muttered as I poured some of the batter onto the hot griddle.

  “Don’t lie to me, Sam,” my mom pointed her finger at me as she scolded.

  “Mom,” I rolled my eyes. “I’m getting ready to open my own business. I’m back in a city that has more memories than I know what to with, and… I’m doing it all without him.”

  “You know Andy would have come if you asked.” Mom lowered herself into a chair before glancing up at me.

  “I know that. This was my decision, but please don’t lecture me. I’m doing the best I can,” I murmured.

  “I’m sorry,” she sighed before looking back toward Mara. “How’s she doing?”

&nb
sp; “What do you mean?” I flipped the pancakes and began grabbing plates out of the cupboard.

  “She seems fine when we’re together, but she’s a lot like you. She keeps things inside. I just want to make sure she’s happy,” my mom offered a sad smile. “She needs people in her life other than the two of us.”

  “Mom,” I groaned. “We’ve been through this. She goes to school. She’s around kids there. She has us. Plenty of kids in this world grow up with only one parent. I want to find him, I do, but I don’t know where to start. I thought coming here would help, but so far…” I waved in front me. “I can’t live my life on hold. I need to move on and, hopefully, all of this will be a step in the right direction.”

  “Promise me that you’re happy; that’s all I’m asking. That you’re happy, and she’s happy,” my mother smiled at me before turning toward Mara.

  “I am,” I nodded. “Breakfast!” I called as I began piling the plates with pancakes. I placed them on the table then poured milk for Mara and coffee for my mother and me. I was going to need it today. I was sure by the end of the night that I’d have no trouble sleeping at all.

  ooooooooo

  Once we’d finished our breakfast, Mom took Mara with her. She was going to drop her off at pre-School and run some errands. I wasn’t sure when I’d be home tonight, so Mom had offered to let Mara stay the night. Things were going to be so much easier now.

  As I placed the last dish in the dishwasher, I said a silent prayer thanking my mom for being so helpful. I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised at her help, she had never told me no when I asked for something.

  After locking the condo, I made my way downstairs to my car. The sun was high in the sky now, and the morning fog had burnt off. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day, and I had a little extra bounce in my step despite my lack of sleep.