“Wow,” I said, cupping my chin in my hand. “How do you even know all that? I damn sure didn’t tell you.”
Nixon squinted at me. “Come on, you know this already. Women don’t keep stuff like that to themselves. Fallon tells Charlie, then Charlie tells me, because you’re out here making me look bad. The point is, you weren’t doing this kind of stuff with your ex.”
“Right. I don’t remember you ever hunting me down to ask what Olivia’s favorite order was at UG, so you could special order something,” Roman added, lifting his palms. “Just sayin’.”
Carter clapped me on the shoulder as he put the clippers down. “So… your decision on what to do next shouldn’t be that hard. Listen, Sean, I get it, aiight? It’s hard to take that risk, and give somebody close access to you like that, but for real… putting that fear aside, and being all in with Viv… best decision of my life. When you find a woman that’s gonna be careful with your heart, you don’t fuck it up. And if you do… you fix it. Don’t let this shit go, man. Don’t give it time, don’t wait and see, and don’t go with the fucking flow. Get your girl back.”
He shrugged after he finished, and neither Roman, Nixon, nor I said anything. And then, in unison, the three of us said “Awwwwww,” and then laughed our asses off as Carter shook his head.
“Laugh if you want, but I’m telling you what I know,” Carter chuckled, then started brushing the extra hair off me.
I nodded. “Yeah, man. We’re just fucking with you, I know you’re right. I’ve just gotta figure out how to break the ice. She hasn’t responded to any texts or calls, and I haven’t been able to catch her at her store, and Ayden won’t tell me what’s going on with her.”
“Is she sick or something?” Roman asked. “I was in the flower shop with Simone earlier, and she was putting together a bouquet from her and the other women for Fallon. She said Ayden was going to come and get it later to take to the hospital.”
My heart slammed against the front of my chest. “Wait a minute… what? Did you just say the hospital? As in, Fallon is in the fucking hospital for something?” I searched my mind, trying to remember her mentioning that something was going on with her, but couldn’t find anything.
Except… the day we had that little “talk”. She hadn’t been herself from the minute she answered the door. Dark circles under her eyes, lethargic, and she’d kept doubling over in pain. I knew her cycle was coming, so I’d made an assumption that it was just that, but… what if it was more serious? What if… she’d been struggling with something while I was being distant for that week before I actually manned up and talked to her?
Shit.
I snatched off the haircutting cape and jumped up from the chair, telling Carter I would catch him later to pay for my cut. Right now, I needed to talk to Ayden.
I shot out of the barbershop and raced down the street, dodging people on the sidewalk as they strolled. I found her standing at the counter in Scantilily, her hair covering her face as she leaned over to sign some type of paperwork. She glanced up at me, rolled her eyes, and went back to signing forms as if I weren’t even there.
“Ayden… come on,” I said, reaching forward to pull the pen from her hand. “I know you’re pissed at me. I know she’s pissed at me. But I need you to tell me if she’s okay. She won’t respond to me, and Roman said something about her being in the hospital, so—”
She raised her hand. “Wait a minute – how the hell does Roman know Fallon is in the hospital?”
“He overheard you and Simone talking about sending flowers.”
Ayden shook her head, rolling her eyes as she turned to walk off. “But y’all swear women do all the gossiping. Yet, he ear-hustled his way into some shit and ran and told.”
“Wait though,” I said, catching her by the arm as she headed down the hall that led to the office area. “So she is in the hospital? Is she okay? What’s wrong with her? Why wouldn’t she tell me something serious was going on? That’s not cool!”
Pulling away from me, Ayden crossed her arms in front of her, giving me a look so heated with constrained anger that I started to sweat a little. “Don’t get me started about not cool, Mr. Pump-The-Brakes, okay? You said you wanted to cool it down, so these are the consequences: You don’t get access to inside information. This is the road you chose.”
“But this isn’t what I meant!”
“Then perhaps you have practiced before you went to Fallon with that bullshit. You had what… a whole week to practice, while you were ducking and dodging having that conversation with her.”
I pushed out a sigh, then swiped a hand over my face. “You… aren’t going to make this easy for me, are you?”
“Nope,” she said, giving me a sardonic smile. “Not at all. You see, Fallon is very, very dear to me. And I failed her once, by not seeing through Ray’s bullshit so I could protect her from it. I’m not going to fail her again. I’ve been on your side, Sean. When we first leased this space, I came to your company to make the changes we needed, and you turned down the job. Now, I understood that, because your father had recently passed, and you were going through it. But, I didn’t have to come back to you for the job on Fallon’s house. I could have used the same company that worked on the store, but I came back to you, because I just had this… I don’t know, a little feeling. When Fallon wanted to fire your ass, after the first time she met you, I convinced her otherwise. And look where we are now. You got the job done, and you got the girl. A fly ass girl, as a matter of fact. And what did you with it, Sean?”
“Ayden…”
“Ya screwed it up. That’s what you did. So yeah, if you want me to be your inroad back to Fallon, you’re going to have to come correct.”
I ran a hand over my head, and blew out another sigh. “Tell me what I have to do.”
Ayden ran her tongue over her teeth as she looked me up and down. “You were panting when you came in here. Why?”
“Cause… I… I ran down here from the barbershop…,” I answered, wrinkling my forehead in confusion.
“So that’s why your head is jacked up? You ran down here mid-haircut?”
I chuckled, dryly. “Yeah. I guess so.”
She nodded. “And it’s been what… three days since you guys… broke up, or whatever?”
“Yeah.”
“You haven’t screwed anybody, have you?”
I scowled. “What? No? Why would you even…?”
She shrugged. “I felt like I needed to ask, you are homeboys with Nixon, so maybe a lack of respect for the post-breakup grace period just runs in your little circle. How should I know?”
Shoulders drooping, I looked up toward the ceiling before I brought my gaze back to her. “No, Ayden. I haven’t slept with anybody since Fallon.”
“Good. Good. And you also get points for not wasting time coming to your senses about this. And for running out of a haircut, cause you needed it bad, if the other side of your head is any indication,” she said, wrinkling her nose as she stared at my hair.
“Ayden. Please…?”
“Okay, okay.” She pressed her hot-pink painted lips together in a little frown, then tipped her hair to the side, sending her bob swinging again. “You answer this one last question for me… and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
I nodded. “Cool. Ask away. Ask me anything. I can answer a question, that’s easy.”
Ayden straightened her head, and gave me a wide, cryptic smile. “Oh, we’ll see.”
She was going to be completely fine.
Not just fine, but completely fine, I’d been assured.
But that didn’t stop a knot of anxiety from growing at the base of my neck while I waited for Fallon to open her eyes. It made my chest ache to see her in a hospital bed, even though her expression was peaceful. My mother’s face had been serene as well, as they pumped her full of chemicals that made her sick, to get rid of something that was making her even sicker.
But that was a different time.
That was then, this was now, and even though I still cast a wary eye at the tube pumping intravenous fluids into Fallon as she slept, I reminded myself that they said she’d be fine. She’d been awake already since the surgery, but in a lot of pain, so they’d given her something to ease her discomfort and allow her to rest.
When she finally opened her eyes, she stared at me for a long moment, her face blank. And then, she blinked hard, and actually recognized me. That recognition drew her face into a scowl. She turned away, moving her head as if she was looking around, and my heart sank. Still, I got up and went to the side of the bed.
“Fal…” She turned to me at the sound of my voice, still scowling, but now that I was closer, her expression seemed more disordered than angry. With her eyebrows drawn together, she moved her lips, but the action seemed to cause her pain. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Are you… are you hurting?”
She nodded, then gingerly lifted her hand to touch her throat, and I realized she was telling me she was thirsty. I grabbed the sealed cup full of ice chips the nurse had pointed out to me, and held it in front of her mouth for her, tipping a few pieces in. After a while, she took the cup for herself, and once a few more minutes had passed, she looked up at me with a grateful, but weary smile.
“Thank you,” she croaked, still sounding as if her throat were dry. She filled her mouth with ice chips again as I pulled up a chair to sit beside the bed, putting us at eye level.
“You’re welcome. Um… is it okay for me to be here?” I asked, meeting her gaze.
“Yes.” Her answer was muffled from the ice, but still immediate, and it made me feel… hopeful, I guess. “How did you know?”
“Ayden.”
“She wasn’t supposed to say anything.” Fallon rolled her eyes, which were still puffy with sleep, and still decorated with dark circles from whatever she’d been dealing with.
“I begged.”
That stopped her eyes mid-roll, and turned her expression into a smile I hadn’t realized I missed so much. “Begged? Seriously?”
I nodded. “Begged. And I’m glad it worked, because I was right on the edge of losing it, because I was worried about you. Roman overheard Simone talking about sending you flowers, and he told me. I went to Ayden, pleaded with her to tell me where you were.”
“I’m surprised she cracked.”
I chuckled. “It wasn’t easy. But my plea was pretty damned compelling, I guess.”
“It had to be, to sweet talk her after I told her what happened between us. You got through her and my family… you must have turned the charm all the way up to accomplish that.”
“Your family was easy, actually. Your mother is apparently Team Sean. Your father and brother may take some convincing though. But your mother asked me the same question Ayden did, and my honest answer to that seems to be the key to unlocking a whole lot of doors around here.”
Fallon lifted an eyebrow, then winced as she adjusted her position on the bed. “And… what question was that?”
“If I loved you.”
The silence in the room was thick between us, and the machines monitoring Fallon’s vitals went a little bit crazy. She glanced at the screens with an embarrassed smile over how the fluctuating pattern of her heart rate made it impossible to play it cool. She shook her head, then lifted her eyes to meet my gaze, and asked in a shaky voice – “And… what was your answer?”
I reached forward to gently stroke her cheek with my thumb, suppressing a smile over how her vitals perked up again. “What do you think?”
She dropped her eyes, and eased away from my touch. “I think… you pulled away from me, without giving me any heads up. I think you lied, about being busy, or tired, so you could avoid telling me the truth about how you were feeling. I think you weren’t there for me, when I needed you. I think you told me you wanted to “pump the brakes” on the amazing connection we had. So… I don’t know, Sean.”
I nodded. “That’s fair. And honestly… it’s true, too. And I’m sorry, for all of that. But my completely honest, unprepared answer, to the question of whether or not I loved you…. Both times, it went something like: ‘Wait, what? I… what? I don’t know… I mean, I think so. I mean… nah, it’s too soon to be saying something like that. I mean… I think so? But… I don’t know.’ And Ayden just rolled her eyes and brought me up here to talk to your mother, so I guess she got what she needed to hear from that. And your mother… well, she told me, ‘If it takes you that many damned words to answer a simple yes or no question, then the answer is yes.’”
I grabbed her hand, and laced my fingers through hers. “And I’ve been sitting here, while I was waiting for you to wake up, just turning that over and over in my mind. And you know… she’s right. It’s something I was trying to avoid so soon, but once you’ve sprinted down a busy street to find your girl’s assistant, so you can beg her to tell you where she is… the “L” word is kind of a foregone conclusion at that point, right?”
Fallon laughed a little, then bit down on her lip. “I think that would be fair to say.”
She closed her eyes as I leaned in, pressing a kiss to the side of her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Fal. I just got scared, honestly. This happened fast, and out of nowhere, and I know we’re both still a little tender, with the way our last relationships ended. I just wanted to make sure we were both protected. I don’t want to go through what I went through with my ex again.”
“I know,” she whispered, opening her eyes and blinking away tears. “And I’m sorry, for not hearing you out. Because honestly, you’re right. This was fast, and we were a little reckless. I’m not going to lie and tell you that I don’t see that. I was just… I’d just found out about the fibroid, so I was scared, and I was angry with you for being distant with me all week, and I just… I reacted badly.”
I smiled. “Seems like I’m always choosing the worst times to get on your bad side.”
“It does seem like that, doesn’t it?” she laughed, then lifted a hand to run over my chin. “Sean… I understand your hesitation to make a big move here. It’s hard to put your heart on the line, after somebody who was supposed to protect it, didn’t. I know. But that’s exactly why you can trust that I would never hurt you like that. Because I know how it feels. I know how it hurts. I can’t promise that we’ll work out, because I can’t predict the future. But… I can promise that your heart would be safe with me.”
I brushed the tears from her cheeks, then kissed her face on either side before pressing my lips to hers. “I believe you. And… I love you.”
Fallon’s heart monitor started racing again, and she dropped her face into her hands as she laughed. A moment later, she clutched her stomach, then clamped her mouth shut, trying to stop. “It hurts,” she explained, in response to my worried expression, and when she’d finally calmed her laughter, she grabbed my hand, and smiled.
“I love you too.”
Thirteen.
“Come on, mama. I think he’s had enough.”
“And I think you should mind your business.”
I blew out a sigh as my mother scooped another helping of macaroni and cheese on Sean’s plate, beside the baked chicken wings she’d placed there the moment before. The corners of Sean’s mouth turned into a little smile, and he met my gaze with a subtle shrug. At least he was maintaining his sanity – and expanding his waistline – with my mother around.
Two weeks had gone by since my surgery, and my parents were still here. I was starting to question the wisdom of three bedrooms and three bathrooms, in a freshly renovated house. It was way too comfortable around here for them to want to leave, especially while I was still inside of my “four to six” weeks of recovery.
Honestly, it kind of solidified the idea that had been growing in my mind, that I should sell this house. I loved it, especially for the beautiful work Sean had done, but… it was purchased with Ray in mind. Catered to include his tastes, instead of just my own. Maybe I needed somethi
ng smaller, just big enough for me and a little bit of company. Something too short on space to make anybody, cough cough, my parents want to hang out for too long.
Even though I had Ayden around, and now Sean and I were back in a good place, they insisted on sticking around. And they insisted on getting on my damned nerves.
Post-surgery, my stomach had actually gotten a little flatter, without the fibroid making my uterus swell. But if I had too many more of my mother’s heavy, home-cooked, force-fed meals, I was going to gain that inch and a half right back. And they were always just… around. Making me get up early for no good reason, go to bed early for no good reason, policing my time, policing my movements, and again… they were always around, which heavily limited the time I could spend with Sean.
I loved my parents dearly, but… I would love them more from afar.
Very far.
“This is a nice big, strong man,” my mother said, running a hand over Sean’s arm. “He needs sustenance, baby girl.”
I twisted my mouth. “That’s his third plate, mama, he’s going to explode if you don’t stop.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Mind. Your. Business.”
“This boy can handle it,” my dad chimed in, covering my hand with his on the table. “Not like that other piece of shi—”
“Could you not?” I asked, using my free hand to swipe my face.
My dad scoffed. “Why? You see this right here,” – he pointed at Sean – “Is a good hardworking young man. A man that works with his hands, gets a little sweat on his forehead, some dirt under his nails, gets shit done. Unlike that crooked ass lawyer you were dealing with. Let your mama feed this boy so he can go build those houses and shit. A man that can build you something is one to keep around. Unlike one that goes to get mani-pedis with you.” He shook his head, and added a disgusted eye-roll for good measure.
The Way Love Goes (Serendipitous Love Book 4) Page 14
