Salvage

by Tiffany Aleman

  “But tonight I’m letting it all go. From now on, I’m only going to see this new you.” The tips of my fingers trace the collar of his shirt in slow even strokes. “I’m moving on from the past we once shared.”

  “I promise I won’t let you down,” Brayden says, squeezing me tighter.

  “Can I say something without you getting mad or upset?” I ask, cautious because I know there’s an issue I need to address, but I’m not sure how.

  “Go for it.”

  I take a deep breath in and release it slowly. “I’ve noticed little things here and there. Like the way your hands shake. Or the way sometimes your words slur.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but, by the way his body tenses beneath mine I know he’s heard what I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “I think you have…”

  “A problem?” He sighs. “I know what you think, and I have it under control.”

  Absentmindedly, I nod. “I thought you’d say that.”

  Brayden lifts my face to where I’m forced to look at him. “I understand where you’re coming from, but I’m not your father, okay?

  “I’m just worried about you,” I admit.

  An easy grin lifts his cheeks. “And I appreciate it. But I promise I’m fine.”

  I nod. Even though I’m not sure whether I believe him, I need to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he is fine and I’m just reading too much into it since I grew up with a father as a drunk, or maybe he’s in denial. Maybe it’s me who’s in denial. But one fact remains clear, there’s no denying the chemistry between Brayden and I. There’s no denying that there’s the potential for something more between us. I’ve taken the first step by showing him a piece of my broken past. I only hope with time he can do the same for me. I can’t lay myself bare, expose every facet that makes me who I am, only for him to remain an enigma to me.

  “So you’re living with her now?” Drew asks from beside me.

  Drew’s wife Chelsea and Karmen stand a few feet away, stretching for the five-mile hike we have ahead of us. This is a trek Drew and I have hiked many times. I love being out here in the mountains. When life got to be too much when I was younger this place was my escape. Large oaks and pines blanket the valleys and peaks. It’s a canopy of green no matter where you look. It’s hot and humid, but the air is fresh and the sounds of nature soothe my soul.

  “Yeah.” I nod as I look into my backpack to make sure we have everything we need.

  “How the hell did that happen and why am I just now finding out about this?”

  “Some shit went down and she took pity on me. And as far as me not telling you, it’s not like I talk to you every day. We’re not a couple of gossiping women.” I shrug. Drew doesn’t press what I mean, he knows I’ll only tell him what I think he needs to know.

  Drew shakes his head, a perplexed look etches his features. “Wow.” He chuckles. “I figured she’d leave you high and dry. Especially after what we put her through.”

  I look from Karmen to him and back to Karmen, my lips curve upwards in a grin. “Yeah well she didn’t.” I turn my attention back on Drew. “She’s better than us. Always has been. We were just a bunch of idiotic hormonal bastards who didn’t see her for what she was, what she is.”

  “You like her?” he asks, dumbfounded.

  I shoot him a scathing look, and he raises his hands in front of him in surrender.

  “Hey man, it’s cool.” He chuckles. “I mean she’s hot now. Well, not as hot as my wife, but no one is hotter than my wife. If you like her then it’s cool,” he rambles.

  “Drew?”

  “Yeah?” He takes a deep breath and looks at me expectantly.

  “Shut up.”

  He laughs and claps me on the shoulder. “All right man. Look for real this time. You’re right, we were bastards back then.” Drew looks over at her and adds, “I never thought I’d say this, but she seems good for you.”

  “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. You’re like a brother to me, and it will really suck if you two can’t get along.”

  Drew reaches out and smoothes the back of his hand along my jaw. “I’ll try to get along with her for you… lover,” he jokes, drawling out the last word, and I slap his hand away laughing.

  “You have issues you know that,” I say, still chuckling. “I don’t know what your wife ever saw in you.” Drew knows I’m teasing him. This is the relationship we’ve always had. He knows I love Chelsea like a sister and would never talk badly about her.

  He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes locking on his wife. “I don’t either, but I thank God every day that’s she’s mine.”

  Out of the corners of my eyes, I see Karmen and Chelsea talking, and I hope they’re hitting it off. I know how she feels about Drew. I can’t blame her but at the same time Drew is my best friend, has been since we were kids. Needless to say, I was worried about how Karmen would react to meeting Drew’s wife and hanging out with him all day.

  Karmen bends at the waist, stretching her hamstrings. She looks up at Chelsea who’s stretching her quads and murmurs something that I can’t quite make out. A smile plays on her lips and her eyebrows are raised in question. Chelsea throws her head back and laughs. She looks over at Drew and shakes her head.

  “What are y’all talking about?” He asks.

  Chelsea points at him and says, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” It’s not a question, more of a statement really and Karmen laughs.

  “Are you talking shit about me, Karmen?” Drew jokes, his mouth agape and a look of hurt on his face. Drew has never been one to not be brash. His wife is an exception. That man would walk through fire for her.

  Karmen stands to her full height, her hands find her hips. She cocks her head to one side and smiles at Drew. “I was just asking Chelsea how in the hell she ended up with a jackass like you?” I’d like to say she’s teasing him, but I can see the curiosity in her eyes.

  I laugh at her words, and Drew looks back at me over his shoulder. He doesn’t know what to make of the whole situation and it’s funny as hell. I shrug my shoulders in a ‘what do you want me to say’ gesture.

  Drew turns his gaze back to Karmen. He lifts his arm, pulling the material of his t-shirt up his arm and flexes his muscle, making his bicep bulge. “I won her over with these.” He places a kiss on his muscled flesh.

  Chelsea walks up to him, all the while smiling, and pecks him lightly on the lips. “You’re such a dork.”

  Drew tilts his head to the side and shrugs. “Maybe, but you love me anyway.” He grabs her around the waist and pulls her into him. Chelsea squeals like a lovesick teenager at the gesture while Drew attacks her face with kisses.

  I look past them to see Karmen’s gaze fixed on me. In her eyes, there’s an emotion I can’t read. Could it be the same things I feel? Desire? Want? I’m happy that my best friend has the woman of his dreams in his arms, but there’s a part of me that’s envious of the love they share. They seem so happy, and I realize I want what they have. Happiness. Love.

  Karmen smiles at me and puts one foot in front of the other as she comes to stand in front of me. She reaches back and pulls her phone out of her back pocket. “Wanna take a picture with me?” She smiles.

  “Sure. You want me to see if Drew will take it? ” I set my backpack down next to my feet.

  “No.” Karmen looks over her shoulder at Drew and Chelsea before she looks back at me and wrinkles her nose. “They’re in their own little world right now.”

  She hands me her phone, and I look at her and smirk. “What?” She laughs.

  “You want to take a selfie?” I tease.

  “Well yeah.” She nudges her shoulder into my arm. “You’re me taller than me. There’s no way I can fit us both in the picture if I take it,” she explains.

  “Uh huh,” I smirk down at her.

  She rolls her eyes. I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her side flush against mine. She places her hand on my chest and leans into me. I angle the pho
ne above us, look down at her, and mumble close to her ear, “Say beautiful.”

  At my words she looks up at me, a breathtaking smile highlights her face, her eyes filled with warmth. My heart beats double-time, and something I’ve never felt before floods my veins. And it’s all from just one look she gives me. From that look. Like I’m the only man she sees.

  I snap the picture and break our connection. As we review the image, she sucks in a gasp and I know she sees what I see. Two people who look happy—who are happy. Two people who want each other. Friends who were once enemies. Friends who have the potential to be something great—something that in a hundred years legends will be told about.

  Now we just have to believe it.

  “Do you want to take another one?”

  Karmen shakes her head no. She looks up from the picture to me and back down to the picture. “It’s a good picture. Do you see how buff I look?” I joke.

  She throws her head back in laughter. “You’re impossible,” she says. Her hand finds my shoulder and glides down to my bicep. “But you’re right, you are pretty buff.” She squeezes the muscle to add emphasis to her words.

  Her lingering touch catches me off guard. As far as the touching has gone in our ‘friendship’ I’ve been the one to initiate all contact. I love to feel her soft skin beneath my fingertips. I love the way her body feels when it’s pressed against mine. But now that she’s touching me, maybe the tides are changing?

  My eyebrow arches and I flash her a wink. “You know you can touch me anytime you want, right?”

  “I’m sure you would love that.” She chuckles as she removes her hand from my arm.

  “You guys about ready to go?” Drew shouts breaking whatever moment we were having.

  “Sure, whenever you guys are,” Karmen answers. She leaves my side and walks over to where she and Chelsea left their backpacks. She hefts it over her back and secures the straps over shoulders before securing the middle strap around her waist.

  The rest of us load up before we start on the trail. Drew falls into step beside me as the ladies take the lead.

  “Did I tell you that me and Chelsea are thinking about having a kid?” Drew asks.

  I look at him for a second, my eyebrows arched in surprise. “Nope.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Is that what you really want?”

  I watch his eyes land on his wife and smile tugs at his lips. “I do. I’m not getting any younger and Chels and I are in a good place. Not just in our marriage but financially too.”

  “ I’m happy for you. That’s a big step.”

  “So was getting married, but so far it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m just worried.”

  “About?”

  “What kind of dad I’ll be. If my kid will turn out like me.” He nods his head in Karmen’s direction and he sighs. “I need to apologize to her. I should have never treated her the way I did when we were younger. I see how she is with you and how you are with her.” He looks over at me for a second before looking back at the trail. “Chelsea seems to like her.”

  “Yeah, well I’m not surprised, Chelsea’s easy to get along with.”

  “You think she’ll forgive me?” he asks.

  My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Karmen? It’s hard to say.” I grip the straps of my pack and shrug. “I think if you show her who you really are and actually get to know her, she might. Lord knows I’ve been trying to prove that I’m not the same prick from high school she knew. I mean if you got Chels to marry your ass you should be able to make amends with Karmen.” I laugh.

  Drew scoffs at my joke. “Chels was a goner as soon as she saw me.”

  “Yeah, then you opened your mouth.” I laugh even harder at the memory.

  “What’s so funny back there?” Karmen asks. Her and Chelsea both look over their shoulders at us.

  “Drew was talking about how you two first met,” I answer before Drew has a chance to say anything.

  “Oh yes,” Chelsea replies.

  “How did you two meet?” Karmen asks.

  “Chelsea was in my freshman Biology class,” I start.”

  “I thought Brayden had a crush on me.” Chelsea chuckles. “What he didn’t know is that I kept seeing him and the stud next to him walking around campus. Brayden didn’t stand a chance.”

  “See, I told you. A goner,” Drew interjects.

  Chelsea nods and turns to Karmen. “He’s right, but then he opened his mouth.”

  Karmen laughs. “I can only imagine what he said.”

  Chelsea looks back at Drew. “What did you say, babe?”

  Drew groans. “I said, ‘You’re hot, but you’d be hotter without your clothes on.'”

  Karmen looks at Drew, her lips pursed before she nods. “Yeah, that sounds like something you’d say.”

  “What? I was a teenage boy, hormones going haywire. I had just started college,” Drew defends. “Plus, Karmen, I thought we were making progress. I thought we were becoming friends. ” He smiles at her.

  She completely disregards him, and I laugh out of my nose. “I hope his line didn’t work for you,” Karmen says to Chelsea.

  Chels laughs at her remark. “Hell no. I remember telling him ‘just stand there and be pretty and to be quiet’ before I walked away from him. I had actually given up on Drew after that. Then one day I was in the library working on a paper for my Economics class. I was sitting at the table lost in my own world when Drew walked in, set his books down and said to me. ‘Look I fucked up. I should have never said what I said to you. It was wrong and degrading. I can’t get you out of my head, and that’s partially because you’re the only woman who’s ever told me no. But more than that it’s because you’re so damn beautiful’.”

  “And now look at us, we’re happily married,” Drew says.

  “So how long have you known Drew and Brayden? You are from here, right?” Chelsea asks.

  Karmen’s eyes gloss over as she looks back at Drew and me. The pain I see in her eyes guts me, and I can see Chelsea looking at the three of us.

  “Uh…yeah, I’m from here.” She clears her throat. “And as for these two I’ve known them since high school.”

  “We’re y’all close? To be honest, I haven’t really hung out with anyone they went to high school with. Now that I think about it, they don’t really talk about high school all that much.”

  Karmen’s eyes flicker to the ground and back up to Chelsea before she shrugs. “We ran with different crowds. So, no I didn’t really know them.”

  Chelsea looks at the three of us and I hold my breath. I’m sure Drew is doing the same. I don’t bring up my past often, and I’m not sure if Drew ever told her the things that he used to do to Karmen. Actually, by the look in her eyes I’m positive he hasn’t. She squints her eyes and screws her lips up as if she wants to know more about why Karmen is being so evasive but doesn’t get the chance.

  “Hey guys it seems to get a little steep here, so just watch y’alls steps okay.” Karmen interrupts. “Actually there’s a spot right up ahead that I’m pretty sure we’ll need some help getting across, Chelsea.”

  Chels looks at us one more time before turning her attention back to Karmen.

  “I think we should take a water break,” Chelsea states.

  Drew walks over to where his wife stands and digs out a bottle of water out of his pack and hands it to her. “Hey Karmen, can I talk to you real quick?” I ask. I nod toward a set of trees a few feet away from Chelsea and Drew. She nods and follows after me.

  Once we’re far enough away that the others can’t hear our conversation I ask, “Why didn’t you tell Chelsea the truth?”

  Karmen drops her pack on the ground in front of her feet and digs in it to find her water bottle. “I didn’t lie. We didn’t hang out in high school, Brayden. Nor did I know you or Drew. I knew the bullies you both were, but that can’t be all there was to y’all.” She takes a swig of her water and adds, “I’m moving on from that time in
my life. No longer am I going to sit here and dwell on what happened.”

  I consider her response. I wish I could share her attitude towards everything. I wish I could let the past go and move forward. Unfortunately for me, it’s not that easy. The feel of her warm, slick skin on my arm makes me look up at her.

  “I want new beginnings. Happy ones.” She smiles at me, and I can’t help but think that I want the same damn thing too.

  The drive to my parents’ house is a blur. After finally meeting with the attorney about my grandparents’ estate I can’t really think of much else. They left me millions. Millions. But nothing has changed. Those millions I’m entitled to come with a stipulation. Marriage. I receive nothing until I sign a piece of paper selling myself into the last legal form of slavery.