Salvage

by Tiffany Aleman

  “Really?” he asks surprised. “I thought I’d have to do a lot more coaxing and pleading than that.” He chuckles.

  “Just hold onto my hand and I’ll skate by your side. What were you doing with your legs to make you move?”

  I hold on to the wall as Brayden enters the rink first. Slowly, he pulls me to his side and begins to skate next to the wall. “Just push off with the sides of your feet like this.” He swings one foot out in a sweeping motion and then the next. “The harder you push the faster you’ll go.”

  I clutch his hand tightly in mine as I try to follow his instructions. The first time around, my stopper catches the floor and I almost bite the dust again, but Brayden catches me before it’s too late. He steadies me and with more determination than before, I do as he instructed and it works. I glide forward, pulling Brayden along with me. I repeat the process over and over again until I feel brave enough to let go of his hand.

  My cheeks hurt from the smile that can’t seem to leave my face. Pure joy spreads through me. I’m skating. Actually skating for the first time and I can’t believe it. Like wings, my arms hang suspended in the air. My hair soars in the wind. Realization dawns on me as I step off cloud nine. The barrier ahead steadily grows closer. My eyes widen in horror. Vaguely, I hear Brayden tell me to shove my foot forward like I’m going to stand on my tiptoes to stop, but it’s too late.

  I slam into the wall but in a death grip, I hold on. My feet slide out from underneath making me do the splits. In an instant, Brayden is at my side, helping me to gain my footing. Once I’m on steady feet, I look up at Brayden and throw my arms around his neck.

  “I did it.” I smile wide at him as I pull back. “Did you see? I actually skated.”

  Brayden holds onto my hips and a proud smile lifts his cheeks. “Yeah, babe I saw.”

  “I kicked ass didn’t I?”

  “Oh yeah, you showed that skating rink who’s boss.”

  “I made it my bitch,” I joke, and we both burst into a fit of laughter.

  “Are you ready to go again?” he asks.

  I bite down on my lip and nod. “Thank you for this.”

  Brayden kisses my forehead and says, “I’m just glad you’re having fun.”

  “Best date ever,” I whisper, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

  The door opens as soon as the ‘On Air’ sign goes off. Karmen saunters in, my eyes watch, entranced with the sway of her hips, the way her breasts bounce underneath her lavender, capped sleeve, blouse. Normally, she’s more covered than she is now but with it being June and a hundred and ten degrees outside, I can’t blame her for wanting to be cool.

  “You almost done?” she asks. Just as she goes to sit on the edge of my desk, I grab a hold of her hips and pull her onto my lap. Karmen looks around with wide eyes and struggles to get up. “Brayden, we’re at work,” she hisses under her breath.

  “I know.”

  “Then let me up.” She pushes on my hands in an attempt to unwrap them from around where I hold her.

  “You weren’t saying that this morning.” I watch a hint of red highlight the apples of her cheeks.

  “That was different and you know it,” she groans in defeat. Her hands fall limp and she relaxes back into me.

  I lean into her, my lips kiss the hollow under her ear. “Plus no one’s here,” I murmur.

  “Tammy is.”

  “And? She already knows about us.”

  Slightly, I feel her back stiffen at my words.

  “She already knows about us, right?” I lean back and look at her even though her gaze is trained on the door to the booth. “Karmen?” I ask when she still says nothing.

  For someone who is supposed to be her best friend, I had figured Tammy would have been the first person she told about us.

  “Kind of,” she answers with a shrug.

  I reach up and turn her face to look at me. “What do you mean, kind of?”

  “If you’re asking if I told her that we’ve slept together, then no I haven’t. I don’t broadcast my personal business to everyone.”

  “Well I’m glad to hear that because what we do is our business, but you haven’t told her we’re together?” My eyebrows furrow to match the confusion I feel.

  Karmen bites on the corner of her lip and shakes her head.

  “Why not?” Hurt seeps through my tone.

  Is she ashamed of me? I’ve introduced her to my friends as my girlfriend. I don’t keep her hidden away from the world. We’ve been out on numerous dates. I’ve taken her to restaurants that my parents frequent. We’ve been out to the movies. Every time we’ve gone somewhere, there’s not a moment that goes by unless she’s in the bathroom, where I’m not touching her in some way. I’ve lathered her in affection. Not once have I tried to keep our relationship hidden away, and up until now I thought she felt the same way. Have I been wrong this whole time?

  “Tammy, she’s my family Brayden.”

  “I get that.”

  “I just wanted to make sure that what this between us is real.”

  “Babe, it’s been a month. How much longer do you need before you believe it’s real? Is it me? Have I not proven to you that I’m serious about us?”

  Karmen gasps in surprise. She twists in my lap and takes my face in her hands. “No. No, that’s not it at all. If anything you’ve surprised me by showing me how serious you are about us.”

  “Is that it then? Am I coming on too strong?”

  She shakes her head. “I’m just scared…everything I’ve ever had has been taken away from me. I understand my parents weren’t the greatest, but they were still my parents. I have no siblings, no aunts and uncles that I know of. You and Tammy are it. Where she’s used to carrying the weight of being the only one in my life…” she sighs, and I can see the how hard this is for her to say, so I say it for her.

  “You’re afraid you’re going to lose me, too.”

  “I know it’s irrational, but I can’t help how I feel.”

  I squeeze her to me and she rests her head on my shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere Karmen, not unless you want me to.” With gentle up and down strokes, I rub her back, easing the tension out of her muscles. “Are you happy with me?”

  “Blissfully,” she sighs.

  “Then let’s be happy. Don’t focus on if I’m going to leave. Don’t focus on what anyone else thinks of our relationship or us. Let’s just be us. I’ll continue to be the arrogant, cocky asshole you adore, and you can continue to be the ball-busting, sweet and sexy woman I can’t get enough of.”

  She chuckles against the skin of my neck.

  “Oh for crying out loud, we’re at work,” Tammy says, startling us both.

  We both look up in her direction. She leans against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest and a grin on her face as she looks between Karmen and me.

  “Tammy…I ugh…”

  “Have some explaining to do?” Tammy finishes Karmen’s sentence.

  “Yeah.” Karmen gives her best friend a sad smile, and I know she feels bad for not telling her.

  Tammy waves her hand dismissively in the air. “Psshhh,” she scoffs. “I already knew.”

  Karmen looks back at her friend, her mouth agape in surprise. “Really?”

  Tammy points between the two of us. “Oh yeah. I know a moan when I hear one, and when I heard one coming from behind the door to your office a couple of weeks ago, there was no denying it. Especially when I couldn’t find Brayden.” Tammy claps her hands and bows in my direction. “At work? Nice touch.” She laughs.

  Karmen covers her face with her hands and groans. “I cannot believe you heard us.” Her hands drop from her face as she looks up at her best friend. “We thought everyone had left.”

  “Oh, I left but forgot my cell phone at my desk. When I came back in, I grabbed it and went to see if you.” Tammy points at Karmen. “Wanted to go and grab a bite to eat. As soon as I got to the door of your office, that’s when I heard the two of you
.” She waggles her eyebrows, and I’m forced to curl my lips under my teeth to keep from laughing. Karmen’s embarrassed, and if I laugh it will only make it worse.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Karmen apologizes.

  “I know, and that’s why I’m willing to look past it. Plus, what you guys do isn’t really my business.” Tammy gives me a pointed look. “Just know if you hurt her, let’s just say you don’t want to find out.”

  “Got it,” I answer with a nod.

  “Well, I’m off.” Tammy pushes away from the door and looks at Karmen one last time. “Dinner this Friday? Like old times?”

  Karmen smiles at her friend and laughs. “I’ll be there.”

  “Oh and Brayden, if you’re going to hump my friend here in her office make sure you gag her first. She could use some kink in her life.” A devilish smile lifts Tammy’s cheeks before she hurries off down the hallway.

  I burst into a boisterous laugh. “You got it,” I yell, hoping she heard me.

  “I cannot believe her. Did she really just say that?” Karmen looks back at me over her shoulder, surprised.

  One of my eyebrows rises in response to her question. “So? You need some kink in your life?”

  Karmen slaps at my arm playfully. “If you think for one second you’re going to gag me you’re sadly mistaken.”

  “I’m not really into the whole gag thing, but I know of a few things we could try.”

  Karmen rolls her eyes and groans. “God help me.”

  I lean forward and nip at her earlobe. “I’m not God baby. I’m the Devil. I want to play and corrupt and worship you in the most sinful of ways.”

  “So you two are really a couple?” Tammy asks. The way she says it, it’s like an ‘I told you it would happen.’

  Across from me, Tammy sits in the booth, sipping on her margarita while I sip on my Chardonnay. We’re back in our old stomping ground, Damien’s. It’s been a while since Tammy and I have had dinner together. Ever since Brayden moved in and our relationship moved forward, my best friend and I haven’t really spent any time together. It feels good to have some girl time with the one person who’s been there for me from the beginning.

  I lean back in my seat and drum my fingers on the wooden tabletop. My plate of chicken parm sits half-eaten. “Mmmhmm.”

  “I know you think I’m going to read you the riot act, don’t you?” she asks.

  “I don’t think, I know.”

  “Well, I’m not.” Tammy sips on her drink as she winks at me. “If he makes you happy then that’s all that matters.”

  “You don’t think I’m being stupid or naïve?”

  Tammy shakes her head before taking a bite of her pasta, then points her fork at me as she swallows. “No. I think you’re wise enough and old enough to know what is and isn’t best for you. I don’t think you’d pursue a relationship with someone if it weren't right.”

  “He can hurt me.” My voice is quiet as I admit my biggest fear aloud.

  “Yeah, he can.” Tammy nods. “And you can hurt him too.” A look of sympathy crosses her face.

  “We both know the chances of me hurting are him are slim to none.”

  Tammy reaches across the table and places her hand over mine. “Sometimes we hurt people unintentionally, especially the ones we care about. Do you want to be with him?”

  I nod.

  “Does he make you happy?”

  Another nod.

  “Then what are you really worried about? And don’t try to bullshit me, I know you better than you know yourself,” she says.

  I take stock of the people that surround us. None of them seems familiar in the sense that they know who we’re talking about.

  I take a deep breath. “There’s still so much about him that I don’t know. I’ve practically given him the easy version of how I grew up and how what he and Drew did affect me. But it seems like I get nothing in return. I’ve yet to meet his parents, not that I’m sure I want to. Actually, I’m pretty sure I don’t. I can’t seem to get him to open up. and when he does it’s like I’m only getting a glimpse of what’s made him the man he is, but then he shuts down.”

  Tammy leans back in her seat and stares at me for a moment. I can tell she really doesn’t know how to respond to my revelation. Hell, I don’t know how to respond to what I’ve just said. With Brayden, it’s like I’m reaching for an invisible rope for him to throw me. Instead all I receive are frayed pieces of thread. I don’t know if he trusts me. I don’t know what else I need to do to prove to him that I’m worthy of keeping his secrets.

  “It’s only been what? A month, right?” Tammy asks, breaking my train of thought.

  “A little over a month but yeah.”

  “Give him time. This is the stage where you both enjoy each other. This is where you guys have hot, sweaty sex numerous times a day. This is where you date and laugh and have fun and get to know each other. Because before you know it the dates stop and the sex will turn into once a week thing if you’re lucky. Explore what’s made you both who you are and what you both can become together.”

  I lift my hand in the air, hung up on what she’s just said. “Wait a minute. Once a week?”

  Tammy diverts her gaze from mine and looks out across the restaurant.

  “Is everything all right between you and Ray?” I ask, concerned for my friend.

  “Yeah, we’re good it’s just the intimacy department is lacking.”

  “What’s going on? I mean you don’t have to tell me of course…”

  “It seems ever since he made partner, there’s less time for us. He’s either at work or at home working? He’s a man, right? How come when I walked out in front of him the other night with nothing on except for a lacy red thong and a pair of heels, he didn’t even spare me a glance. I don’t get it.”

  “First, he made partner?” I ask, happily.

  “Yep a few weeks ago.” Her tone doesn’t match my excitement.

  “ I’m excited for the both of you.”

  “Yeah, he deserves it.”

  “Are you not happy for him?”

  She sighs and a look of defeat crosses her beautiful face. “I am. It’s just like I said, things are lacking in our relationship and they have been for a while, I guess.”

  This isn’t a question I’d ever think I’d have to ask. I love Ray in the sense that he takes care of my best friend and she loves him more than anything, but she’s right. It doesn’t add up. “You don’t think he’s having an affair do you?”

  “I don’t know. Of course, I’ve thought about it. But no, I don’t think that’s what it is at all.” Tammy looks back at me and my heart aches for her when I see unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “I remember a time where we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It seems like such a long time ago.”

  “Maybe Ray’s stressed. With him making partner I’m sure he’s under a lot of pressure.”

  “I don’t doubt that. His workload has doubled, but at the same time, Karmen, I can’t be alone in this. I need him.”

  “You still love him?”

  She nods and the movement causes a tear to fall free. Hastily, she reaches up to wipe it away.

  “Have you told him how you feel?”

  Tammy scoffs at my question. “If when I walk in front of him naked and he doesn’t respond what makes you think he’ll listen when I talk?”

  “I don’t know what to say. But talk to him. Make him listen to you. If all else fails you can say you tried.” I slide out of my seat only to slide in next to Tammy. I find her hand under the table and hold it in mine. “He loves you, Tam. I know that and so do you. And I’m sorry that I’ve been so involved in myself recently that I haven’t made any time for you.”

  She waves off my apology. “Don’t apologize for being happy, Karmen. It’s been years since I’ve seen you like this. And though you were happy with Levi, I can tell what you have with Brayden is different.”

  “It is, but I don’t want to dism
iss you either. No matter what happens between Brayden and me…I promise to still make time for you too. Starting tonight.” I give her an encouraging smile before sticking my tongue out at her, which earns me a small laugh. I rest my head on her shoulder and sigh. “You and I, we’re a real pair huh?”

  “That we are.” Tammy rests her head on mine. “Do you think Ray and I will be okay?” she asks softly, her words seek out hope but hold doubt.