Baby Butterfly Kisses (Purple People Book 3)

by Rena Marks

  Titi herself broke into song a couple times.

  “Order! Order!” Commander Pritchard yelled.

  One of the Mayor’s Council turned to sneer at him. “How can you be a proper mediator when you married one of our ex-Puritans? Doesn’t that make you biased?”

  Pritchard looked down his nose at the tiny Quaker in question. “Good day, Mayor Peenis Jab. I brought you a present.”

  “A present?” the mayor asked suspiciously.

  Pritchard smiled. “Yes. Your wife.”

  Mayor Jab’s mouth dropped. Along with the mouths of the other males on the council. It was simply unheard of for a female to leave their planet. But Millie was of the highest order, being the niece of the ruler of the planet. Their leader had taken a liking to his niece, and his favoritism showed. Anger Millie—and the ranking that was a man’s birthright could easily disappear.

  “Everyone, please meet Millie Fagina.”

  A door slid open, and a mysterious fog emitted from the elevator. When it dissipated, Millie and Pariah stood arm in arm. Sworn, die-hard enemies…banded together as tightly as best friends for this trial, instead of the bitter enemies they had been back when Pariah slept with Millie’s man.

  Millie Fagina was a sight to behold. Tall and thin, she wore dozens of tiny jewels over her eyebrows in an extravagant, glittery shape that extended up her forehead. Her red hair was piled atop her head to give her even more height. She stood regally over the small Quakers, and for some reason, had no qualms about Pariah today. The two acted as long-lost friends, air-kissing each other, and fawning and cooing over each other’s outfits.

  “Fagina! My dear,” Peenis croaked. Millie glared at him as she deliberately turned her head away from him in an obvious snub.

  “Millie! Your time with Pariah served you well. You both look divine. Mayor Jab was just questioning my authority as mediator for the upcoming trial,” Commander Pritchard said smoothly. “Since I am married to your best friend Pariah, an ex-citizen from your planet.”

  Millie raised a jeweled eyebrow. “I would think that gives us more of an edge. Who knows our business better than someone who knows our culture, our planet, our people? Don’t you agree, Peenis?” Her voice dropped a few degrees when she turned her attention to her husband.

  Peenis squirmed uncomfortably. His affair with Pariah was well known to all except her uncle, and he would forever grovel to keep it that way.

  “If you think so, my dear.”

  “I do,” she snapped, as if he was the world’s biggest idiot.

  “Then let’s carry on,” Commander Pritchard said. “The temporary housing unit we used as a barn for the ball shall suffice as a courtroom for now. The Helian Six crew have amended it with seating. Please, lovely ladies, this way.” He held out both of his arms, one for Pariah and one for Millie.

  Rojan took care to escort the grumbling Quaker males, who had been unarmed by his guards before landing. One of the vile creatures had something embedded where the sun didn’t shine. Upon making the fool remove it, they discovered it was simply a toy. Disgusting breed.

  As they entered the room, several gasps hit at the sight before them. A gilded cage had been set up to contain the four Puritans. Red velvet covered the floor inside, with large, silken pillows embroidered in gold tossed about. The Puritans lounged on the pillows in their sheer belly dancer outfits—which Joy called her I dream of Josie outfit.

  Joy was beautiful in her emerald green coverings. The skirt parted in several strips, revealing pale, shapely legs. Velveteen slippers covered her tiny feet, and the same matching material covered her feminine areas for privacy, whereas every other bit of skin showed through the gauzy veil coverings. Like Millie, glitter adorned her forehead and kohl lined her eyes. She never looked more sultry, more sexy, more glorious.

  Her sisters surrounded her, complementing her coloring with the variety of theirs. Virginia stood out in a deep blue with lighter blue, sheer veils. Molli looked radiant in a pink that matched the rosy hue of her lips and cheeks, but with darker burgundy velvet that teased at her womanhood. Beatrice shone in bright yellow; the perfect foil for her dark hair. She’d added a rich gold glitter to her eyelids that sparkled when she blinked. The females wore their hair in intricate braided knots as they relaxed like goddesses, draped gracefully over the velveteen pillows.

  “They should not have their skin showing!” Peenis barked. “And material luxuries? Bah! They should be on the concrete flooring.”

  “How dare you cage our Puritans!” Millie screamed at the same time, drowning out her husband’s voice. “Those poor women! To suffer so. You are the faces of anguish, my dears. An inspiration to women everywhere to stand strong and fight for our rights.”

  Peenis grew quiet. “I was just wondering if that sheer material was too harsh for their sensitive skin, my dear. It looks a bit scratchy.”

  “Let’s have order in the court,” Pritchard said. “Everyone please take a seat.”

  The snipers from Echo Nine each stood outside a corner of the cage, standing with their backs to the lazing females.

  Pritchard continued. “From what I understand, Echo Nine has been commissioned to return the Puritans to their home planet, but the Puritans refuse. Their claim is that they no longer have a home planet, as they were previously banished.”

  Peenis glared at one of his men, and made a motion with his hand for the other to speak. The bald man stood, gulping. “Just because they were banished does not mean they are not ours to do with as we please. And we deem them returnable, as the unibrows have grown in and they are now eligible for marriage.”

  “What unibrows?” Millie asked.

  All heads turned toward the Puritans.

  One of the Quaker males gasped. “Last time we saw them, at the ball, all four of them had matured.”

  Lara stood. “Along with two of our little ones. Apparently the unibrow can be triggered by the planet’s atmosphere, but it can disappear just as quickly.”

  There was silence. Then the bald man spoke again. “No matter. We’ll still take what is our’s back. They can grow unibrows naturally back at home.”

  “No!” Virginia wailed. “Our home is here, now.”

  “Virginia, my dear,” Peenis said. “Aren’t you lucky? Since Wilma’s unfortunate mental breakdown, you have been claimed to unify with Preston McGillicutti. You shall have the highest available ranking male.”

  Joy realized their right of choosing the man had slyly been taken away. Now it appeared the Quaker men had the choice instead of them.

  Virginia gasped. “I don’t want him! He doesn’t churn my butter.”

  From Tristan’s arms, Titi shouted and raised her fist into the air. “Hiss biscuits ain’t done!”

  Reese shouted from his father’s lap. “He has only one oar in the water!”

  “Apologies,” Pritchard muttered. “My niece and nephew are traumatized from their kidnapping caused by your insane Puritan Wilma.”

  “Yess,” Titi agreed. “Unkel Kwicket. Weese isss cuckoo now.”

  “Cuckoo.” Reese burped. “Cuckoo.”

  Tristan clamped a hand over Titi’s mouth. He yelped when her tiny tongue licked his palm.

  “If the Puritans refuse to return to Quakestrarian, their citizenship is forfeited,” Peenis said. “Unfortunately, the charges were clear. They were to return or be destroyed. It is their choice.”

  All heads turned to Millie. One slender shoulder raised and lowered helplessly. “That is the original charge,” she said sadly. “They refused to return.”

  Feet began stomping and people began to talk all at once.

  “Here, here!” Pritchard shouted. “I shall continue the charges without interruptions! The Quaker males—namely the Mayor’s Council—claim the Puritans shall no longer have the right to choose their own husbands. It is an additional punishment for the Puritans pretending to be humans. The punishment is hereby entered for the record.”

  “Humans! Bah. The hillbillie
s of the galaxy.” One of the Quakers snickered.

  “Intellectually deficient,” someone else agreed. “Don’t know why they bothered trying to become human.”

  “Hey!” Several female voices said.

  The Freijians who had human mates snarled and rose, gnashing their teeth.

  Rojan had to shout to be heard.

  “Captain Rojan, you have the floor.” Pritchard banged his gavel on the wood of the table until everyone else quieted.

  “Mediator Pritchard, the crew of Echo Nine has indeed fulfilled the contract.”

  “What do you mean?” Peenis sneered. “Obviously they have not been destroyed. They are right there, caged like animals…” He glanced quickly at Millie. “I mean, birds. Like sexy, beautiful doves…”

  “My crew and I tested the females. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. None are virgins. Their Puritan status has been destroyed, just like we agreed.”

  The mayor’s mouth dropped. Loud guffaws erupted before breaking into cheering.

  “Unlock the females,” Commander Pritchard yelled. “Release them from lockup. They are no longer pure and do not qualify as Puritans.”

  “Drat,” Virginia muttered. “This velvet looks so good against my skin. It’s definitely not going to have the same effect on the wooden, polished floors. They’re so cold and impersonal…”

  She was silenced as the cage was flung open and Baub grabbed her, holding her close and claiming her mouth long enough to shut up her endless blathering.

  One by one, the other sisters filtered from the cage. His Joy was last.

  “So what happens now?” Joy asked Rojan, ignoring everyone else around them as they clapped and cheered. Titi and Reese blew small party favors in an annoying nasally trumpet sound.

  “You are free,” he said. “Unfortunately, I have decades to fulfill on my contractual obligations still.”

  “We can’t be together?”

  “I wish,” he said, pulling her close to inhale her sweet fragrance one last time. “But it’s still impossible. While mining the ores is no longer a threat, we’re still space bound.”

  “I have another mission for the Freijians,” Millie said, stepping forward. The room immediately hushed. “They did such a great job following through on the original contract conducted by my husband that I’d love to hire them on.”

  “What is it?” Pritchard asked.

  “I would like to study the effects of insanity in relation to a select few Quakestrarians being reared for the goal of Puritans. Since Wilma was so bad…”

  “Wilma isn’t Puritan! She’s Herbasnut,” Peenis screeched.

  “They have denied her,” Pariah said. “She is still locked up on Quakestrarian and thus considered Quaker. Check the law book.”

  “In any case,” Millie continued, looking down her nose at Peenis. “Perhaps the Freijians could study the ex-Puritans for any beginning signs of insanity. It may take many years, but I’d expect periodic reports as to their mental status. Probably weekly, in the beginning. In fact, if the ex-Puritans ever got with child, I’d like reports on the compatibility of breeds and whether those offspring are prone to mental disease. It would be interesting to note if our extreme social boundaries and segregation caused the insanity. If so, we may have to consider other options on our planet.”

  Peenis gasped. “It’s been done this way since the beginning of time.”

  “Times a changin’,” Millie said sternly.

  “I’m sure we could give you an excellent price on that package,” Pritchard said. “In fact, I have an available crew right now.” He turned to the Echo Nine males. “Please prepare your reports from the last mission for close out. I’ll brief you on the details of this new mission tomorrow.”

  Echo Nine saluted solemnly before their ex-Puritans squealed and jumped into their arms.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Joy:

  The Mayor’s Council left immediately after the mediation, completely missing the party that occurred afterward. It was all for the best, as the surly men acted with most disgusting mannerisms like shifting the items in their crotch, and spitting their mouth contents in the streets. She’d never before noticed how completely horrible the males of her planet were.

  Until they tried to kill her, that is.

  Commander Pritchard sat with the other Freijian males. Titi and Reese crawled over his lap as they giggled and played.

  Joy and sat with her newfound sister, Millie, while Rojan sat a few feet away talking to Pariah. He held the adorable Lily on his lap. She’d cooed nonstop for Rojan ever since seeing him naked in the woods. Lily would be a conniving woman when she grew. She definitely knew what she wanted.

  Joy could hear snippets of what Pariah was telling Rojan. “I admit I didn’t approve at first. I want only the best for my girls. But I have determined that your crew will protect their innocence and beauty at all costs. They like shiny…to the point of being on this side of garish.”

  “Figured that one out,” Rojan said, scratching his head. “Don’t know how anyone mistook them for humans.”

  Pariah laughed. “As toddlers, they’d go crazy over a bit of tin foil. I’m surprised they haven’t used it to wrap around their stiletto heels.”

  Joy felt a small smile touch her lips. They’d tried, but the foil lost its shine when it was forcefully crinkled over their pumps. She returned to her conversation with Millie.

  “Joy, I’m really sorry that you were chosen to become Puritan. It seems like such a horrible system when you look at it from the outside. A child given away—sold, really—so the rest of the family could obtain unlimited status and wealth. The remaining children are told it’s a great honor, but no one really knows, do they?”

  “Not unless you’re that child.” Joy smiled at her. “But it’s okay. Pariah took care of us, and I have a much better life now. Thank you for all that you did in coming here to help out with the trial, and in making the remainder of our lives happier. I am curious, though. How many other siblings do I have?”

  “There are twelve of us.”

  Joy gasped.

  Millie nodded. “In a breeder family, the parents are eager to be the first to produce that child who is judged to be the one. So ours kept trying and trying until they got you, which asserted a higher status over my cousin’s homes, who were in the race to produce also. When there are a full half dozen Puritans in existence, the polls are shut down until the next cycle. And there’s more I’d like to do for you.” Millie leaned in, holding out her hand. “This crystal egg is one of the most revered items on the planet, given to me by our own leader. I, in turn, bestow it upon you, sweet Joy. It doesn’t even come close to making up for the loss you had during your short life, but it does something else. Upon cracking it, it will take you briefly into the future to see how your life turns out. You can then change your path, according to what you find out.”

  “I couldn’t possible accept it,” Joy said, staring at the smooth, small crystal placed in the palm of her hand. It consisted of translucent shades of green material marbled with streaks of purple zigzagging through it like lightning. As far as she could tell, there was a pocket of swirling gases, purple and green that—like oil and water—wouldn’t mix, right in the dead center of the egg. “You should use it for yourself.”

  Hell, Millie’s future with Peenis seemed more bleak than hers. She might want to know if it ever got better.

  But Millie laughed. “Trust me. I know my future. I don’t want to crack the egg and see myself in prison for murdering that slimy little bastard. No, you deserve it, my Joy. I hope we’ll be able to keep in touch.”

  “Yes! I’ll send you video recordings and tell you all about the new things we discover.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Millie!” Pariah said. “Come quick! The humans have started that Macarena I told you about. Let’s join in and leave these two lovebirds.”

  Millie giggled like a girl as she and Pariah went off to join the dancing
humans and purple toddlers in the center of the gathering. Joy stood, moving over to Pariah’s chair to sit next to Rojan and the giggling Lily. She dropped her head onto his shoulder, inhaling his clean, fresh scent, and catching a whiff of Lily’s baby sweetness.

  Life was perfect.

  “Are you happy?” he whispered.

  “Beyond words. So much so I feel like it can’t possibly be real! To find another sister and a mate, all on the same day. Oh, and look at what Millie gave me. It’s a future telling crystal. If I crack it, it’ll give me a glimpse of what to come.”

  “Joy, do you know how much those things are worth? They’re so rare, there are probably only three in a dozen galaxies.”

  “Is it? Then I worry that she gave it to me out of guilt for her having such a glamorous childhood at my expense. And I don’t want her to feel that way.”

  “No, baby. She gave it to you out of love. Millie loves you, just as Pariah does. Just as I do.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “I already know my future. A loving mate and an exciting life traveling the stars with my sisters. And even better, we’re getting paid to do so.”

  He laughed, his chest rumbling near her ear. “That’s true. It is a perfect life.”

  Titi approached, stomping her little feet. “Joy, I mad! That Weese! He’s big twouble.”

  “What did he do, honey?”

  “He don’t like Titi no more. He’s playing with those boys ‘cause he don’t wanna dance.”

  “Sweetie, you don’t need the boys. See all the girls are up there dancing together? Don’t you want to join them?”

  “Ohhh! Yes! Thaaank, yeeew, pwetty Joy.” Tears dried instantly, and she puckered to plaster a kiss onto Joy’s lips. The purple toddler waddled off to dance.

  “That was easy,” Rojan said.

  “Pfew. She’s eating grass again,” Joy said, spitting the taste out.

  There was a screech from the edges of where some humans gathered. “I did it!” Jannie yelled. “Missed my period, ya all.”