Jack's Christmas Wish

by Bonni Sansom

“I'm no tease. I gave you everything you wanted, and then some. Don't you dare call me a tease.”

  “I remember all too well and I loved your ‘and then some'. He made air quotes with his fingers.

  There he went again with the love crap. Why did he insist on saying ‘love'? What ever happened to ‘like'. Rex had told her he loved her and now she was being threatened and stalked. Her father had told her he loved her then beat her and her mother and left them forever. Not that she particularly missed the bastard, but love was highly overrated. That particular word could destroy your life in a heartbeat. Love, being such a tiny word held more significance that any other word she knew. It was the happiest and the most hurtful. She didn't really ever want to hear it. She'd been trying to ignore all the times he'd said it, but it was beginning to be a habit. A habit she would have to address if it kept up.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Yes. I'm starved. Breakfast was a long time ago.” She remembered breakfast very well. It was right in-between two bouts of sex.

  “Yes. It was. What would you like for lunch? Anything you want.”

  “Pizza would be good.” At least with him she had plenty of food to eat. Her cupboards were bare as well as her fridge, unless you counted condiments as food.

  “Pizza, it is.” He held her hand and led her out of the room and down the stairs where Jack was waiting impatiently.

  “Daddy? What are we having?” He sat in a chair, kicking his feet, swinging loosely close to the floor.

  “We're having pizza. What toppings do you like Lissa? We love pepperoni with extra cheese.”

  “That's my favorite too.” It really was her favorite. They had a lot in common. Maybe this could work.

  “Then let's head out to Marcello's Pizzeria. They have the best pizza in Chicago.”

  “Um, Derek, may I speak with you?” she went to the dining room and waited. She wasn't dressed for going out, her hair was a wreck, and she still smelled of sex. She needed to at least go home first and shower and change. He would certainly understand. Or at least she hoped he would.

  Derek entered the room with a puzzled look on his face. “What's wrong? I thought you were hungry.”

  “I am. I just need to shower and change my clothes first. I still smell like,” she lowered her voice to barely a whisper, “sex.”

  He chuckled soft and low, a sound she was getting to like a lot. “Why don't we follow you to your apartment and let you do whatever it is you need to do and then we'll all go to Marcello's.”

  “Oh thank you. I needed to hear that.” How would she ever be able to say goodbye to such a good man. She hoped she wouldn't have to.

  He held his hand out to her, she took it and they headed back into the kitchen. “Jack, we're going to follow Miss Lissa home, then go for Pizza. Okay, buddy?”

  “Okay, Daddy. Can I bring my hand-held video game?”

  “Yeah, buddy, you can bring it.”

  “Whoo hoo!” Jack jumped up from the chair and did an air pump, then took off for his room.

  Derek grabbed both of Lissa's hands and leaned against the counter pulling her flush against him. “I've got you just where I want you. Always.”

  She felt panic rising up in the back of her throat. Did he mean ‘always’ always? Or for right now ‘always'? “We need to get going before we end up having lunch for supper.” She pulled away from him, leaving a puzzled look on his face, but he didn't question her. For that she was deeply thankful.

  She had almost made it to the door when she heard. “Why do you flinch at the word ‘Love'?”

  Her shoulders slumped and she felt defeated. Like this was one endless nightmare of words. She would rather have dealt with the always comment. They didn't have time for this discussion. Jack would be back any second or at least she wanted him to be. She turned toward him and Jack bounded in the room, saving her. “I guess we'll talk about it later.” She smiled and left the kitchen, heading for her car.

  Dammit, I fucked up. I should have kept my big mouth shut. It wasn't lost on him the uncomfortable look on her face at his question. She clearly didn't want to talk about it. She had probably been hurt by some dumbass jerk. He didn't want to lose her though. He'd just taken a chance and failed. He thought she might walk if she feels like he crossed a line. Which, clearly he had.

  He heard her car start and he rushed to get changed and follow her. He reached his room, grabbed a new shirt and his shoes and headed back down. By the time he reached his truck, she was long gone. “Come on, let's get going. Put your seatbelt on.”

  “I know. I know.” Jack pulled his belt around him and fastened it with a click. He pulled out his video game and began to play.

  Derek shook his head and then concentrated on backing out. He almost felt like he and Jack might be having lunch alone. Lissa might find some excuse to cancel. How could he have been so careless with his words?

  “Daddy? Are we having a date with Miss Lissa? I mean, are you gonna kiss her? I'm okay with it if you are. I like her.”

  “Jack why are so intent on me kissing her?”

  “What's ‘intent’ mean?” He blinked up at his dad expectantly.

  “Never mind what it means. Why do you want me to kiss her?” He was truly curious.

  “Cause it means you love each other and she might be my new mom. I want her. She's pretty.” He looked back down at his video game and began pushing buttons.

  He wondered if he should explain to Jack that kissing didn't mean love, but maybe it did. He felt so strongly about her it was almost crushing.

  “Daddy? When we get there could I ride with her?”

  “I don't see why not, but only if she's okay with it. Alright, sport?” He didn't quite know how to feel about Jack getting so close to her. What if they didn't work out and Jack got his heart broken. But then again, what if they did work out and Jack ended up the happiest he could be. So many what ifs hung in the air. So many insecurities he wasn't used to feeling. He was usually in control and he felt so out of control it was maddening.

  “I really want her to be my new mom. I miss my mom, but Billy's mom said a boy needs a mother. So that's why I need a new one. Do you think she's an angel?”

  He had a lump in his throat the size of Texas. It took him a few moments to get it under control enough to talk. “Of course, I think she's an angel. I think she watches over you.”

  He nodded his head and went back to playing his game.

  God, he missed Melody. He'd miss her every day of his life, but he ached for Lissa. Needed her like water or air. She filled him where there were holes in his life. She healed him and let him breathe again. He wasn't one for crying or showing those kinds of emotions, but he felt like it right now. He hoped like hell he hadn't lost Lissa by asking her why she shied away from the word love. She sure got out of there quick.

  Just a few more moments and he would be at her apartment complex.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  * * *

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Shit! The sonofabitch was there. She pulled into her parking space right next to Rex’ car and got out dreading this encounter. This could be really bad with Derek and Jack on her heels. Maybe she could get rid of him fast. Not likely, but she had to try.

  “Where in the fuck have you been? I waited here all fucking night and you were a no show. Have you been with another man? Are you cheating on me?”

  She sighed, too damn tired to deal with his shit. “How could I be cheating on you when we're not dating? We have no relationship. When are you going to get that through your head?”

  “What do you mean we have no relationship? I love you, baby.” He reached out to twirl her hair around his finger.

  She pulled away disgusted. He dropped his hand by his side, but the look on his face said he was angry. He lifted his hand.

  She flinched away preparing for a hit.

  “What are you doin? I ain't gonna hit you. I told you I love you.” He caressed her face in his hand, making
her nauseous.

  “Let go of me. I don't want your love. I want you to go away and never come back.” She was thankful that the only parking space available was quite a ways down from her apartment. Maybe Derek wouldn't see Rex. She put the key in her lock and turned it. She just wanted to get cleaned up and have some lunch. She didn't need this headache.

  “Babe, don't be that way. Why don't I come in and make love to you?”

  She stared him up and down seeing an alcoholic mess standing before her dressed in raggedy blue jeans and a faded red cotton shirt with a hole in the hem. “Gross, I don't think so. Why don't you just leave? I don't want you here.”

  He raised his hand again to waggle his finger at her. “Now I've tried to be, understanding and caring toward you, but you're going to force my hand now. I aim to have you again and I don't really care what I have to do to get it.” He reached out quickly and grabbed her breast.

  She stumbled back, trying to get away from him, landing on her ass in her doorway.

  He advanced toward her as she scrambled back. He was now in her apartment. She just needed to get to the phone and call the police. Hopefully, they would get there before he did something stupid. She bumped into the coffee table stopping her flee. “Stop right now or I'll call the police on you. You don't want to end up in jail do you?”

  He stopped at her feet. “You wouldn't call the police on me, would you? Especially, after I've loved you so good?” Anger radiated from his entire frame. His face was red and his hands were shaking.

  “You're right; you have loved me good. Let me get some rest and we'll be together tonight, okay?” She realized her tactics had to change. The angrier he got, the worse she feared it would be for her. He was almost certifiable after all.

  “That reminds me, where the in the hell were you last night? I waited and waited and you were a no show. You better not have been with another man.”

  He had practically growled the last sentence. She said the only thing that she could think of. “I was at my mother's helping my brother. I would have called you, but the phone was out. I forgot to pay the bill. Just let me rest for a while and we'll be together.”

  “How long do you need? I've waited for a while now.” He stood with his hands on his hips and a sour look on his face. “I want to fuck you as soon as possible.”

  She almost wretched at that statement. She could just imagine his sweaty nasty body on top of her fucking her and that's exactly what it would be, nothing more. It would be nothing like with Derek. With Derek she made love. Even though she didn't like the word; she knew it was making love. Right now, she needed to buy some time and get rid of him before Derek and Jack showed up. She pushed herself up and stood before him and stroked his cheek, even though it disgusted her. “I just need about six hours. Now go on home and take a nap yourself. You couldn't have slept that good in your car. I'll be right here waiting for you tonight, okay?” His hand covered hers pushing it into his oily face.

  “I'll be back here in six hours and you better be ready. If you're lying to me, there'll be hell to pay.”

  She didn't doubt it for a second. So she would be here with the police waiting for him to show. Right now however he needed to leave so she could get ready. “I promise now go on home.” He leaned forward and kissed her making bile rise in the back of her throat. How in the hell could she have ever gone out with this creep? Because, I was horny, alone and depressed. And because beggars can't be choosers.

  He backed away and left without another word. “Oh, thank God.” She scrambled to her dresser pulled out a new pair of panties and a clean bra, then headed for her closet for some jeans and a t-shirt. At this point, she only had time for a quick wash off from the sink. She scrubbed herself as best she could, rinsed and toweled off. She pulled her hair in a messy knot on top of her head, got dressed and headed out to her car.

  Derek and Jack were just pulling in as she put the key in the lock. As soon as they pulled into the space next to hers, Jack jumped out and headed for her. He jumped into her arms giving her a huge hug, melting her heart. Now this little boy she could love.

  “Hi, Miss Lissa, can I ride with you? My dad said it was okay if I did.”

  “Well sure, Jack, I don't mind if your dad said it was okay.”

  “I did, as long as I get one of those hugs too.” Derek made his way around the truck to her car and took her into his arms. In a very quiet whisper he lowered his lips to her ear, “I want a lot more, but I'll take what I can get.”

  Her nipples went hard pressed against his chest. God, she wanted this man like no other. How could she not want him? He was like Mary-friggin-Poppins, practically perfect in every way, shape and form. He was her fantasy and then some. Him she feared she could love too. She just didn't want to get her heart broken.

  He looked down between them, noticing her hard peaks.

  She shrugged. Not much she could do about it. The bad thing was now Jack would probably see. She craned her neck in his direction and he was busy with a game, thankfully. “Alright, Jack we need to get going. Hop in and buckle up.” She felt like his mother when she said that. She wanted to be that for this perfect little boy so bad, she couldn't stand it. All of her maternal instincts seemed to kick in with him. She wanted to nurture and protect him.

  “Yes, Ma'am.” He trotted around the car and plopped down in the passenger seat, pulled his belt around and clicked it. “I'm ready.”

  “He's ready. I guess we should get going.” He hugged her again rubbing his groin against her. She could feel his erection against her belly. Her eyes went wide at his boldness. “Derek! Not in front of Jack.” She quickly opened her door and he made a hasty retreat to his truck.

  “Are you excited about having gooey, cheesy, yummy pizza?”

  “Yes. And I'm happy to be having it with you and daddy. Are you going to kiss him?” He waited patiently with his big blue eyes staring up at her.

  She so didn't know how to answer this question. And what was it with him and kissing? But she didn't want to lie to Jack either. She figured his mom and dad must have kissed in front of him a lot for him to be so obsessed with it.

  “Yes. Jack I want to kiss your dad.” There she said it.

  He did a quick air pump. “Yeah, I knew it.”

  She didn't understand what he was so excited about, but was happy he didn't seem to object. She checked her rearview mirror and saw Derek's truck following along behind her. She was tempted to blow him a kiss in the mirror. She knew he would see it as close as he was.

  Out of nowhere, a silver car cut Derek off and slid in behind her. A silver car she knew. It was Rex. He'd followed her.

  Shit!

  He was weaving side-to-side trying to get up alongside her to no avail. She looked at him in the rearview and he had crazy eyes. She had never seen him this livid before and feared for hers and Jack's safety. The light ahead was turning yellow. She floored it and went under just after it turned red. That's when she saw the blue sports car on a collision course with Jack's side of the car. She let go of the steering wheel and dove over Jack's body hoping to take all the impact for him. She felt the jarring force of impact and held on to Jack for dear life. His door crumpled in and that was the last thing she saw before everything went black.

  Derek watched in horror at Lissa and Jack both careening sideways as the blue car connected with her. He yelled for them and his heart sank. “Oh god, I can't lose you too.” Memories of his wife being killed came back with a vengeance. He stopped his truck and jumped out while dialing Nine-one-one. He ran to them to make sure they were okay. Jack seemed fine but he was crying.

  Lissa, on the other hand, lay in Jack's lap, unconscious. Then there was a second man on the scene shouting Lissa's name. It was the jerk in the silver car that cut him off. But how did he know Lissa? Was he the reason Lissa had run the light?

  “Lissa? Lissa? Jack, are you okay?” Derek asked, trying to get to his son. He wasn't getting a response from Lissa, which scared the sh
it out of him.

  “Get the fuck away from my woman!” Rex shouted, running up on the car. Other bystanders were now approaching the scene too. Derek just wanted to hear Lissa's voice. And for the jerk too go away, whoever he was. He touched Lissa's leg and called her name and she started to move. “Lissa, stay still ,love.” Jack continued to cry and stare down at Lissa.

  She moved around and held her head. “Jack? Ohmigod, Jack, are you okay?” She sat up and hugged him and he stopped crying almost instantly.

  “I said get the fuck away from my woman.” The jerk yelled again. Derek was ready to deck the sonofabitch. The sounds of distant sirens were getting louder by the second, bringing back even more memories. He'd already lost one woman he loved, he wasn't prepared to lose another one. And yes, he realized he did love her in that very moment. He loved her and wouldn't let her go.

  “Maybe you didn't hear me. I said get the fuck away from my woman. Lissy is mine.”

  Bullshit.

  The other man rushed him, trying to get him to the ground. Spectators just stood around them like watching a schoolyard brawl.

  Derek fell back, but stayed on his feet.

  The littler man swung wildly, not hitting anything but air.

  Derek held him off at arm's length evading swings.

  “Let go of me, you sonofabitch.”

  “Hell, no. What the fuck is your problem?” Derek just barely evaded another wild swing. Whatever his problem was it was a big deal to the shorter man. There was no way Lissa could be attracted to this man. He wouldn't believe it in a million years.

  “Rex, stop it! You crazy jerk, stop it!” There he had his answer. Now he could deck the crazed lunatic and be done with it. He let go of the smaller man taking a wild swing to the gut. He flinched in pain, but quickly shook it off and punched the man in the head so hard he swore he'd broken his hand.

  The man went down with a thud to the pavement.

  Derek went to Lissa, He held her gently not wanting to hurt her, but he wanted to take hold and not let go.

  “I thought I lost you. What the hell were you thinking, going through the light like that?” The urge to kiss her was overwhelming.