by Skye Turner
Oh my God. I left one man’s bed this morning and accepted another’s marriage proposal a few hours later. I’m a terrible person.
I need to tell Ty. He’ll find out and he’ll think I’m an awful person.
Ha, AnnaBeth, he already thinks you’re an awful person. You ARE an awful person.
I am an awful person.
I have to tell him though. I need him to understand. Once he knows I’m engaged… he’ll understand what I’ve been saying.
He has to understand…
Right?
I’m twisting the ring on my finger and I reach for my cell phone. I have to tell him. It’s the right thing to do. But, he’s at work. He’s at work with my sister.
We did not part on good terms today, so I need to give it a bit. I need to let him chill and I need to process it all.
Tifanie doesn’t talk to our parents much. She never attends brunch, so I should be ok. I’ll give it a few days and then I’ll tell Ty. He can know and then he’ll see I was right and my conscience can be cleared.
I didn’t do anything wrong.
Liar! You’re such a liar, AnnaBeth Bellaforte.
The stress of the day’s events takes a toll on me and I start to cry. I cry for everything I had with Ty. I cry for the dismal future I’ll have with Stanton as his wife. I cry at the weight of carrying around the Bellaforte name. I cry just because I feel like a top spinning faster and faster in the wind with no hope of stopping. I can’t breathe.
As everything crashes around me, I have something I’ve become accustomed to. A full blown panic attack grips me and I whimper as I crawl to the bathroom where my anxiety pills are in the medicine cabinet.
I know I need to stop, to breathe, to calm down, but I can’t.
My life is not my own and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I am a puppet and I just want the strings to break. Then, I’d be free…
Chapter Five
Ty
It’s been a few days since AnnaBeth tossed me aside and I found out she’s gotten engaged to a man in her world. I have a couple of days off and I’m planning on spending them in my yard. Manual labor will do me good. It’s spring and my front yard could use some landscaping.
After spending far too much at Home Depot on mulch, dirt, and a few plants the employee swore I can’t kill, I get to work.
I cut the yard and edge the entire perimeter before I decide to tackle the beds. I’m not a gardener, but this is my house and I’m proud of it. I want it to look nice. Taking careful stock of the layout, I start to assemble a plan in my head. Once I have my idea set, I start yanking on weeds. I neglected the beds all winter and never really touched them other than to water them when I bought the house last summer.
I figure a good gutting and starting over with a few hearty plants with color is the best bet.
Two hours later, I’m wiping the sweat off my brow with the shirt I discarded an hour ago and looking at my progress. The flower beds are completely weed free. I’ve turned over the dirt and I’m ready to plant.
The weeding was oddly therapeutic. As I yanked each pesky plant from the ground and it busted through the soil, I’d toss it behind me. I started saying things about AnnaBeth with each weed and as I worked, I found that it helped me. It was as if I was throwing bits of her away with each weed.
She tossed me aside. It’s only fair I return the favor. Not that she even cares.
A car in my driveway breaks my concentration. Turning my head, the sun is in my eyes, so I can’t see who it is. It’s either Tifanie, Bently, or my mom, so I’m not worried. I look back at the dirt and continue placing plants where I think I want them. My vision is distorted from looking at the sun, so I’m taken aback when a tentative voice says, “I’ve been calling you all morning.”
I drop the pot I was holding and it smashes into my thumb. Jerking my hand back, I scream out, “Ouch! Motherfucker!”
Cradling my hand to my chest, I rub my thumb as I glare at her. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
AnnaBeth is standing in front of me in a light blue suit with her hair perfectly piled on top of her head. She’s so put together and I’m a mess. I’m covered in sweat and dirt. She’s gripping her small purse so tightly her knuckles are white. The fact that she’s here, at my house, pisses me off.
She nods at the house and says, “I’ve been calling you.”
I don’t move and glare at her. Her gaze travels my body. I see her swallow.
Something comes over me. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’m a little busy right now and I’m dirty, but if you want a good fast fuck, I can bend you over the car and make you scream real quick like. I can spare a couple of minutes.”
Her mouth pops open and she gasps at my crude language. I’m past caring. I’ve never spoken to her that way. I’ve never spoken to any woman that way, but the need to insult her, to wound her, is unrelenting.
She looks away and then back at me. Her eyes are wide and glistening.
I feel like an ass.
She swallows and speaks. “I’m—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry.” She quickly turns on her heel and scuttles back toward her car.
As she reaches the door, I stop her. My voice sounds strangled. “Why did you come here, AB? What do you want?”
Dammit, stupid, stupid, Ty! Why did you stop her? You should have just let her leave!
I can’t though. She came here and some pathetic part of me wants to know why. I need to know why.
She turns and I can see her struggle. Her face is like an open book. She swallows again and then looks around at my yard and the mess I’ve made while working. “I wanted you to know I’m engaged.”
My shoulders drop. I say calmly, “I know.”
Her head jerks up and she stares at me. “You know?”
I nod and laugh harshly. “Yeah, I know. I knew the night you got engaged. I work with your sister, remember?”
She blinks and looks away. I watch her hands and see them pulling at the purse strings. She’s about to pop the delicate strap. She turns back to me and smiles sadly. “Ok then. I guess I didn’t need to come here after all.” She looks down the street where a mother is calling her young son and dog back as they get too close to the road. She turns back to me. “I’m sorry, Ty. Truly. I am.”
I lean on the shovel I’m holding and watch her. She’s watching me intently and trying not to be obvious my body is distracting her. I stretch my tight muscles before gripping the shovel. It makes my biceps bulge. She notices and a part of me is elated, but then I lash out, “Sorry for what exactly, AB?” She fidgets and opens her mouth, but I stop her with words I can’t hold in. “Sorry for sleeping with me regularly for months? Sorry for not telling me you were in a relationship? A serious one? Sorry for fucking me and another guy at the same time? You made me do something I swore I’d never do, AnnaBeth. You made me someone who enables and participates in cheating! What exactly are you sorry for, princess?”
She sobs as I rage at her. Finally she holds her hand out to stem the flow of my words. “Stop. Please stop. I wasn’t involved with anyone when I slept with you the first time.”
I glare at her.
“I swear. I was single. Stanton had—he’d asked me out, but I never accepted. Then, I did. We would go to lunch or dinner or events together. The relationship wasn’t serious. Or—or I didn’t think it was.” She looks down at her hand where an obnoxiously large ring is sitting. A ring that easily costs as much as my house.
My jaw is numb from how tightly I’m clenching my teeth.
She continues, “I wasn’t sleeping with Stanton. I’ve never slept with Stanton…”
Does she expect me to believe this bullshit? She’s never slept with the fucktard and she’s marrying him?! Bullshit!
I spit out, “BULLSHIT!”
She jumps, but I don’t stop. “Do you expect me to believe that, AB? You’re marrying a man you’ve never had sex with?! Yeah right!
&
nbsp; “People don’t do that anymore, princess! So lie to someone else.”
She shakes her head adamantly. “I swear to you. For the past three months, I’ve only slept with you. I wouldn’t. I didn’t. It wasn’t cheating. I didn’t cheat on him with you. We weren’t in a serious relationship. It wasn’t exclusive.”
I throw the shovel to the ground and run my hands through my hair. Dirt goes everywhere. “People don’t get engaged to people they aren’t in serious relationships with, AB! Are you fucking delusional?”
I see her eyes harden and her lips pinch. They’re white. We glare at each other across the expanse of my yard. She shakes her head once more before she grabs the door. She looks dead at me. “No, Ty, I’m not delusional. I’m perfectly sane in fact. It wasn’t serious, but he asked me to marry him and I accepted. I’m marrying Stanton.
“I told you we couldn’t be involved. I told you over and over, but you didn’t listen. Now—now do you see? I have to do this. It’s what’s expected of me and I have to do this.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She’s serious. She’s marrying a man that she doesn’t care for because it’s what her family wants. That is fucking insane to me.
I can’t deal.
Shaking my head, I let out a deep breath and attempt to regulate my breathing. “That’s insane, AnnaBeth! It’s ridiculous and you know it. You’re going to marry a man you don’t love because Daddy says so. He proposed to your sister first! Are you kidding me?!
“Do you even like the man?”
She glares at me. “That is neither here nor there, Ty. I came to tell you. Now, I’ve told you.” She swallows and beseeches me with her eyes. “You can’t tell anyone about us, Ty… No one can ever know.”
And there it is…
I’m the rock that can break the glass house.
*
AnnaBeth
I just asked Ty to keep us a secret. Will he?
He’s just staring at me, not moving. Not saying a word.
Finally, he shakes his head and his shoulders slump. “No worries, princess. Your secret is safe. I won’t be ruining your perfect world.” He leans down to pick up the shovel and turns his back on me as he starts moving dirt around. He calls over his shoulder without turning around, “No one would believe it anyway. You told me. Now… get off my property.” He’s so cold.
A knife wedges firmly in my chest at his words, but I do as he asks. Starting the car, I back out. I stop as I reach the street and just look at him, imploring him to look at me.
He doesn’t.
With tears of anger, misery, and frustration rolling down my face, I set the car in drive and leave Ty’s house.
Once I’m out of his neighborhood, I have to pull over. I can’t see through my tears and I don’t want to get in an accident. Sobs rack my body and I slump onto the steering wheel as I release everything I’ve been holding in.
I hold onto the realization that I care deeply for Ty. I cradle it in my chest and then as I look at the massive rock on my finger, I let it go. With one final sob, I purge Ty from my body… from my heart.
Looking in the mirror I take in my swollen tear stained face. I wipe my tears dry and check my seat for my bag. Taking out my small emergency make-up kit, I take twenty minutes to fix my face. Visine in my eyes takes the last of the redness out. With a final glance in the mirror, I take in the face of the woman I am. The woman I’m supposed to be.
AnnaBeth Bellaforte, society maiden, stares back at me. Smoothing my flyaways, I apply my light lip gloss and toss the makeup bag back on the seat.
I have an afternoon meeting and can’t waste any more time on nonsense.
*
Coralee and I wrap up the meeting for the Gala that will raise money for the Children’s Hospital. Everyone is pleased with our plans and after the last of the hospital board leaves the room, I fall ungraciously into a chair. I sigh loudly and stare out the panoramic windows. At one point I’m sure the view was trees and nature, though now the windows simply overlook more hospital buildings.
Coralee perches on the table and swings her feet. Her shoes are hanging from her toes and she reaches down to rub the arch of her foot. “Damn, these shoes are amazing, but they kill my feet!”
I laugh as I look at them. They are beautiful. “They’re gorgeous, but they look like they’d kill your feet.”
She nods and clucks her tongue. “What’s going on with you, AnnaBeth?”
Turning in the swivel chair, I look at her and rest my elbows on the table. I cradle my chin and sigh. “Nothing. Everything. You know.”
Coralee chuckles. “I can imagine… So, Stanton.” She drags out his name as she shudders. “I can’t believe you’re marrying Stanton.”
I look at her. It’s not a secret that Coralee doesn’t like him, but she doesn’t like a lot of the men in our circle, so that’s not saying a lot. I look at my ring and flex my finger. “It certainly looks that way.”
She coughs and I look up. She grimaces. “I thought you and Ty had something… I was shocked as hell when you called me and said Stanton proposed.”
I shrug. Coralee is my best friend. She was with me that night at the bar three months ago. She knows I’ve been sleeping with Ty. She’s the only person who knew, other than Ty’s friend, Bently. Coralee was messing with him for a bit, but then something happened and they stopped. She won’t talk about what, so I figure she just got bored with him.
I can talk to her. She keeps my secrets and I keep hers.
I look at her. “Me and Ty… you know that could never go anywhere. The sex was amazing and he’s different than I thought he’d be. But… no. Nothing there. And now, I’m marrying Stanton.”
Coralee pops a mint into her mouth and sucks on it before she looks at me and gives me her “You’re full of shit” face.
She points at me. “Lie to yourself if that gets you through the day, AnnaBeth, but don’t lie to me. I know you. I saw you. I heard you talk about Ty. You cared about him. Hell, I think you were falling in love with him and I think… because of that, you’re marrying Stanton.”
My mouth drops open but my brain refuses to allow my mouth to create words.
She smiles at me and it’s sad. “Don’t marry Stanton, AnnaBeth. I’m your best friend and I love you. Marrying that idiot would be a mistake.” She looks at me again and slips her shoes back on. She hops off the table. “Stanton is not the right man. Not for you.” She walks to the door and turns as she reaches it. “I know that and you know that. You’ll be miserable. Marriage should be about affection and passion, not politics. Your family is wrong to expect you to go through with this and you’re wrong for throwing away something with a man you care about for a man you don’t, just to appease the family.” She opens the door and says, “Doing right by your family doesn’t always have to mean forsaking yourself. Go with love.
“I’m hungry, let’s go eat. I’ll be by the elevator.” She walks out and leaves me in stupefied silence.
Doing right by your family doesn’t always have to mean forsaking yourself. Is she right?
I’m not like her. Coralee breaks rules. She reminds me of Tifanie, my sister. I’m not like them.
I have to honor my family name. My father wants this and I have to respect that he wants what’s best for me… even if my heart wants another man…
No, Coralee is wrong.
I can’t. I just can’t.
Chapter Six
Ty
One month later…
Today has been insanity. I swear every crazy person in Baton Rouge has called 911 in the past twenty-four hours. Tifanie and I have been in the bus since our shift started. It’s been a busy day.
She’s been antsy all day. I assume it’s because of Cruz, the guy she’s into. He’s holding back from her and I don’t know what his deal is. He’s a tortured rock star drummer and Tif is crazy about him. She’s been after him for months. Truthfully, I have no idea how the man hasn’t caved yet.
I�
�ve been lost in my own head all day when we weren’t on calls. Suddenly, I realize she’s staring at me. She’s almost checking me out. What the hell is that about?
“Why are you looking at me like that? You’re creeping me out!”
She chuckles and runs her fingers through her hair as she fluffs it in the mirror. “When are you going to get a steady woman, Ty?”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel and I stare straight out of the windshield. I have to make myself calm down before I answer her.
Stop it, Ty!
She’s not worth the time it takes for her face to pop into your head.
I glance back at Tif. She’s occupied with applying her light lipstick and is looking into the mirror. I casually drum my fingers on the steering wheel as I stop at a light. “I don’t know. When one makes me want to, I guess.”
She looks at me and takes in my face. Then, she sighs. “And you think you’re going to find a worthwhile one in the bar sluts you bring home every night?”
She’s right. The past month, I’ve been bringing a different girl home every night. I don’t enjoy it and it actually makes me feel disgusting, but it’s the only thing I can think of to try to remove AnnaBeth from my brain.
Sadly though, as soon as I’m done with the women, I make an excuse for them to have to leave and I strip my sheets and head to the shower to try to wash away the shame I feel. I want one woman… only one and she dropped me as if I was nothing, because a rich asshole gave her a big ring.
I’m pathetic.
Realizing I haven’t answered her, I shrug and force a grin to my face. “When did this conversation become about me? I thought we were talking about the drummer.”
She laughs and says, “Oh you know… diversion.”
I laugh with her just as a call comes over the radio. We tighten up and get into our groove as she responds that we’re en-route and I get us to the call.
Two hours later, we’re exiting the station after saving the man’s life and changing into our street clothes. We decide to head out to meet some other paramedics and watch the LSU game at a sports bar while we have beer and wings.
