Unwanted Desire

by Skye Turner

  Most people would use that as their excuse to slack off and not have to follow the rules. Feel entitled to do whatever the fuck they wanted because life handed them a shitty hand. Not me, I took it as my chance to prove to everyone out there that there are no excuses; you create your own future.

  I studied hard through school and my grades excelled. I joined every sports team I could to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t have to go home to my mom. I eventually had to get a part-time job at an auto shop to help pay for my food. My mother never seemed to care if I had food on the table. The only thing she cared about was how she was going to get her next fix I had no choice but to provide for myself or I would go hungry.

  Still, I never resented her. Her addiction made me stronger and taught me that hard work pays off. Fast forward and here I am, thirty years old and a DEA Agent with a nice record of busts under my belt. Ironic isn’t it? I grew up with a drug addict and now I take down drug dealers. Dante Santoro, the biggest walking contradiction to the drug world. Nice to meet you.

  Chapter 1

  When I was trying to figure out what to do with my life, I figured law enforcement was my calling. Fucking drug dealers. They are such fucking scum and I have the luxury of dealing with them every day. There’s no better way to spend your day than taking out the trash, but I want off the streets. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but I want to dig deeper, get to the root of the problem. Sure, the dealers play a huge part, but I’m out for blood, I want the suppliers.

  For the past three years I have been itching to get an assignment where I can get on the inside and today might be that day. Scratch that, today is that day. The streets are getting worse and the drugs are now popping up in schools. The fact that we got a call about an overdose in a middle school is insane. It takes a real asshole to sell drugs to anyone, let alone kids.

  Walking into the station, I say hello to a couple of the guys and continue to the back of the building. I’m early, which isn’t unusual for me. I prefer being the first person in a room, so I can keep my back to the wall and an eye on the door. Call it paranoia if you will. I rub my hands through my hair and over my head, palming my face down to my droopy blue eyes. God, I need something to get me up and running. The coffee I had this morning must be gone to shit ’cause it’s not doing the job this morning. I slept like shit last night, tossing and turning over the announcement that’s to be made today. I’m studying the board that has all the pictures of who’s who in the family and where they fall in ranking order, when I hear Riggs’ voice fill the room.

  Riggs is a hard guy with a soft heart. He took me under his wing the very first time we met. His hair is always mussed and his tie always has a stain; that’s just the way he is. He’s good at what he does and doesn’t take any shit from anyone.

  “Morning, Santoro. You’re here bright and early,” Captain Riggs says while walking to the white board.

  “Well, you know what they say, early bird gets the worm.”

  “And promotion?” He questions with his eyebrow raised at me.

  Kicking off the wall, I walk to the board, invading his personal space. “You know I’m the best fit for the job. I’m ready for this and you know as well as I do I’m way more qualified for this assignment than any of those rookies. Hell, I’ve grown up around drugs. I’ve busted enough dealers in my three years with the DEA and even excelled in the undercover training, finishing top in my class. I’ve met all the requirements needed.”

  Holding up his hand he stops me from continuing, “Slow down, Santoro. Let’s get through the briefing first. We have a lot to go over and some new developments.”

  Just as he says that, everyone starts piling into the room. I make my way back to the chair that has all my paperwork on it, while the others grab the seats in front of me. I wait for the shuffling of feet and chairs scratching across the floor to come to a stop as everyone is seated or standing in the back of the room. Some try to talk to me, but I don’t bother making pleasantries. I’m here for one reason, and until I hear what I know is the right decision, I’ll remain focused on the words I want to hear. I learned a long time ago that you can only rely on yourself. I prefer to do things on my own, which is why this assignment is perfect for me. I won’t have to worry about having a partner and I will be able to focus on the task at hand.

  The captain goes over the basic intel we’ve already been provided. He breaks down the street gangs and the newest drugs to hit the streets. When he hits the topic I’ve been waiting for, I straighten my posture and wait to hear what his final decision is.

  “Now as you all know, we’ve been working every angle, trying to figure out a way to get one of our guys on the inside. This took a little longer than we would have liked, but for your safety, we had to make sure it was done right. This is our only chance and there’s no room for fuck ups. We have one shot at this and it needs to be done right. With that said, we had a Hail Mary fall into our lap. Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Someone on the inside of the Onorato family has turned evidence, looking to help take down the mob. They are looking for a new supplier to handle the distribution of their product,” his eyes cut to me and I know I have this shit in the bag. Looking away, he continues, “Now I’ve gone over all the options I have available and I’ve chosen Santoro to go undercover.”

  Everyone starts whistling and I get a few pats on the back. I’m so fucking pumped right now. After everyone settles down, the rest of the briefing continues and everyone is dismissed. Staying behind, I wait till the last person leaves the room, closing the door behind them. This grabs Riggs’ attention.

  “Is there something you needed?” The annoyance in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed as he stares at me, waiting for my response.

  “When do I start?” The answer I would like is right now, but I know those words won’t come out of his mouth. Hopefully I don’t have to wait too long.

  “There are a couple things we need to do first. We need to clear your background. Erase any and all traces of you that will lead the mob right to the DEA. We have to make sure they can’t link you to us. Then, we will need to make you a new identity and backstop it with assistance from the HC UC Ops unit. We’ll work on your back-story and the rest is up to you. If they think you tie your shoes the wrong way, you will be fucked. I need to know your head is in this; once you go under, there is no going back.” I think about what he is saying for a minute until I remember why I’m the perfect person for this job.

  “Then let’s get started. I’ve never had a problem remembering shit. You know that. As for my head being in the game, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Let’s do some damage and take these assholes down. I’ve nothing to lose.”

  Riggs nods his head at me as a grin spreads across his face. “Alright, let’s go get you a new identity.”

  “One more thing.” Walking towards the door, I open it and follow him to his office.

  “What’s that?” he says, with a sigh. I know I’m keeping him from getting his day started, but he should be used to it by now. This is usually a daily occurrence between the two of us. I look at myself as the annoying son he never had.

  “Who decided to turn on their family?” I’ve been staring at that board during the whole briefing and can’t pinpoint who would want to suddenly turn. I’ve been following those guys for so long, and no one has messed up to the point where they would need to risk it.

  Rubbing the back of his neck and glancing quickly towards the door he answers, “I’ll fill you in on all that later. Right now, it’s just too risky for anyone to know. I need you to trust me. When the time is right, I’ll give you the name.” I can tell there’s something he’s not telling me, but I don’t push it. I nod, even though I’m not happy with his answer. When I asked who it was, his body stiffened and he wouldn’t make eye contact with me when he answered. I will leave it alone for now but I will get my answers, even if I have to go behind his back to get them. I exit the room and get ready to embark on my
new life as a criminal.