Dreaming of Atmosphere

by Jim C. Wilson

  “Those crew knew that Corporates have enemies. Sometimes an enemy strikes back.” offered Max, “You gave them more of a fighting chance than they gave us.”

  “I came across another nano-proliferation user.”

  “How did that turn out?” asked Fel.

  “He nearly killed me. He just flicked his wrist and all my nanites started to tear me to pieces. I could barely move. He seemed to have complete control over my nanites. If I hadn’t been able to get to my sidearm I wouldn’t have made it. Guy scared the crap out of me.”

  “He was a specialist?”

  “Oh yeah, for sure. Called me a Type-G. Found it funny as hell until I shot him.”

  “You did us proud, my boy.” said Max, rubbing my arm. “You can take all the time you need. Clear sailing from here to the Gossamer System. Go relax, you earned it.”

  I got up and headed back to the mess deck. I was going to see if Zoe could make me another plate of bacon and eggs.

  53.

  There was a surprise waiting for me, a few hours before we shifted through the Jump Gate. Mal bumped into me while I was savouring the last scraps of another serving of bacon and eggs. He stood over me as I mopped up the last of the egg and just grinned.

  “Is this where you say I have egg on my face?” I asked.

  “Nope. I have a surprise for you. A peace offering.”

  “Is it booby-trapped?”

  “Nope.”

  “Stolen?”

  “Yup.”

  “What is it?”

  “Go down the aft cargo, take a peek.”

  “What am I looking for?”

  “You’ll see. Can’t miss it.”

  “Okay.”

  He wandered off, still grinning from ear to ear. Intrigued, I dumped my plate into the dishwasher and limped down to Deck 3. I walked into the aft cargo hold, thinking I’d been sent on a prank wild goose chase by Mal just to stir me up. My leg throbbed, and I could just hear Zoe in my mind berating me for wandering around too much. Then I saw exactly what Mal was talking about.

  Taking up a portion of the rear of the compartment sat a battered up, shot and hammered Eclipse Fighter. Several of the plates on the sides and underneath were removed and lying on the deck. There were several tool chests positioned around the small spacecraft, and pallets of components sitting beside them. I heard Mal approaching from behind me as I just stared at it.

  “Hope you don’t mind. We recovered it after you jumped ship. Been working on it ever since.”

  “How in the hell did you get it inside?” I was impressed.

  “The aft ‘lock was just wide enough to fit it through, had clearance of about half a metre either side. We dumped oh two from the compartment and just opened both ‘locks. The Argen and me just winched it in then.”

  “How did you manage to convince Max?”

  “I didn’t. Crege and Artemis did.”

  “Artemis?”

  “Spouting all sorts of shit about the mission. Crege agreed with her. I think that she liked the fact that we stole one of their ships after all they tried to pull on us was the icing on the cake.”

  “What are we going to do with it?”

  “Artemis said we’d use it to insert, or something.”

  “Insertion.”

  “Yeah. Insert. What I said.”

  “I think I have some idea. Will be easier to get onto Ambrose Station if we use something this small.”

  “Captain has me gutting the cockpit, though. And some weird storage tank aft of the pit.”

  “Any chance it can stay? The fluid in that tank is integral to its performance.”

  “Sure. Was looking like a bitch of a job to get out anyway. I just need to make enough space for two, Cap said.”

  I nodded. “Artemis and me. She can sit on my lap.”

  “I won’t tell Zoe you said that.”

  “Yeah, thanks. I got a feeling Art will anyway.”

  We stood in silence for a while, admiring the fighter. I could feel Mal beside me shifting his weight from foot to foot. I could tell he was working up to say something, so I just waited.

  “Look, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye,” he started, “or gotten along much at all. Things are different now, though. I know that.”

  “We got to stick together, work as a team.”

  “Yeah. That’s what Eric always used to say. Right after we’d had a fight, or something. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m going to see this through to the end. I’m in, one hundred percent.”

  “Good to hear.”

  “And I’m not going to be on your back all the time, I don’t even know why I do it sometimes. I just see an opening and take it. I’m going to fix up this fighter real good for you, I promise. I want you to be proud of it, of the work I do. Just like Eric was.”

  “It’s going to be strange, not having him around anymore.”

  “Yeah.”

  “It was like he was part of the ship, you know?”

  “I keep thinking about calling him for a hand sometimes, while I’m working.”

  “If you need help, you can always call Denno or Hergo. They’re going to need the practice anyway.”

  “I’d rather give you a call, if that’s okay? You’re the next best engineer here besides me.”

  I nodded at him again. “I don’t know what will be weirder; working the spaces without Eric, or without you bitching at me.”

  “Oh, I’m sure I can still offer a few constructive criticisms.” We both laughed at that one.

  “Bull shit.” I managed between breaths, but I offered my hand and he shook it. “To be honest, I think you serve a purpose when you go against me. A kind of counterweight to my arguments. Can’t have a debate if everyone agrees with me.”

  “You’ve got us this far. You’ve made a lot of good choices.”

  “And I need to be able to see where I’ve screwed up. You’re right sometimes too, you know. I’m man enough to admit it. You make me think a lot, like I don’t want to say something stupid or not think things through properly because you’d jump on a chance to make a fool out of me.”

  “I usually just say the opposite to what you say.”

  “It still makes me think harder. Keep at it. I don’t want you to just become someone who agrees with me all the time. I want you to call me on my bullshit, test my theories, and ridicule my mistakes.”

  “I think I can manage that. Kind of like a safety check.”

  “Exactly. I’m human, I make mistakes. I need someone to point them out to me before I get someone hurt or killed.”

  “Deal.” We shook again and wandered about the fighter. I let Mal point out different parts that he was working on, or had plans to. It was strange, it almost felt like I was talking with Eric sometimes.

  When I was done in the cargo bay, I limped my way back to the mess deck and just relaxed. I put on a 3D movie, but turned it off halfway when the tension in the plot started to build too much. It started to make me feel jittery and I recognised the beginnings of a panic attack. I wandered into the med lab, then, and found Zoe working at her bench. She looked up at me when I came in.

  “Sup?”

  “Think it’s time I got a few things off my chest.”

  “Need to talk? About…the Xerxes?”

  “Yeah.” She put down her tools, gestured for me to go sit on the bunk and joined me. She assumed her usual listening pose.

  “Whenever we saw action in the Star Marines, there were always ways to work off all the tension and anxiety afterwards. There was always a hectic physical demand on your body, training exercises to keep your mind sharp and reflexes honed. They figured that keeping a marine busy and occupied was better than leaving them to think and ponder.”

  “That may work in the short term, but sooner or later the minds of normal people will need to cope with stuff that they encounter.” She added.

  “Right, and we always had time after deployments to sit down with someone and go t
hrough a psych eval. Most guys didn’t like the idea at first, but veterans learn it’s sometimes the only way to put things right in your mind.”

  “Did you talk to someone? After your squad, I mean?”

  “Yeah, my old doctor – Doctor Shale.”

  “I remember, you mentioned him before.”

  “But I think I also used to rely more on my squad mates. They understood what we’d faced better than anyone. They’d been there with me. The head docs were just the final smooth out.”

  “And now that they’re no longer around, most of your trauma you face these days is much more confined to you alone, or one or two other people at a time. You don’t have the support you once had.”

  “This business, with the Xerxes, it felt like I was on deployment again, on an Op. It feels strange to not have any of the lads around to blow off steam, or talk out any hairy moments.”

  “Have you tried talking with Tac? He was there, he knows the terrors you faced. He shared them, for the most part.”

  “No, I haven’t. That’s a good idea. I guess I haven’t really thought about it because I didn’t think that Tac had any qualms about the attack.”

  “How do you know? Did you ask him?”

  “Well, no. He did agree we’d done the right thing attacking them, though”

  “Just because he agreed with the motivation doesn’t mean he wasn’t troubled by the events that occurred. You should talk to him about it.”

  “Okay, I will. It’s not like we can share a pint over it, but talking it out will definitely help. Thanks, Zoe.”

  “No problem. Thank you.” She kissed me on the cheek.

  “What for?”

  “For being you.”

  I smiled and went to stand, but she got up first and helped me up. “I’m going to lie down for a while and have a chat with Tac, see what we come up with. Max has given me a few days off, so come see me sometime. I’ll let you know how I go.”

  “I bet you will.” She gave me a sultry smile and saw me out the door. When I got to my cabin I lay down again and sent a text to Tac. He responded immediately.

  Good evening, Seth. How are you feeling?

  Can I talk verbally with you? Or do I need to text from my cabin?

  I can connect to the cabin’s PA speakers, they can be used as a mic with the right amount of expertise. You can freely talk, if that makes you feel at ease.

  “Thanks. I was wondering if we can talk about the Xerxes. I have some questions, and I would like to sort through a few of the events with you.”

  Certainly, Seth. I am available to you anytime. What would you like to talk about?

  “First off, how are you coping?”

  I’m not sure I understand the question.

  “You saw some pretty terrible things over there. You saw me commit some of them as well. How does that make you feel?”

  All life is valuable.

  “So the lives I took, they bother you?”

  They do, though not because you took them.

  “Explain.”

  I am more bothered that they helped perpetuate a situation where their deaths were necessary. They needlessly pursued the Dreaming, prompting you and I to cross the gulf between us and kill them. It is a most troublesome notion.

  “What is?”

  That they could believe they could perform such actions with impunity. Their deaths were indeed the very facsimile of Ozymandias. Their hubris saw to it that they died. Your actions were nothing more than the inevitable conclusion.

  “You don’t think that last statement is a little bit self-indulgent?”

  Not at all. I feel the same way about these Corporates as I do about the Esper Monarchy. They tried to kill you, my new crew, only the tables were turned, to use the vernacular. There was little value in their actions. They did not serve life, they served themselves.

  “That’s one way to look at it.”

  Look at it this way, then. If they had laid down their arms, they would have lived. If you had laid down your arms, there would no longer be a Dreaming of Atmosphere.

  “You don’t think I killed too many, or too much. Or that the killing came too easily to me?”

  I know that what you did was necessary. You did not kill indiscriminately. You spared those who surrendered, you did not fire upon those who were not armed unless the risk they would alert the crew was too great. To answer your question, no. I witnessed you show restraint and mercy in the face of your enemy. On our enemy.

  I stared at the roof of my bunk for a time, pondering. “You saved my life, several times. I remember you warning me about the nano-proliferation specialist I faced. When he was doing something to me to get me to sit down.”

  I sensed the quantum fluctuations prevalent in nanite usage. They were not the same style as the ones you use. I believe he was a Bio-Spinner. That would explain why he was tending to the brain.

  “What’s a Bio-Spinner?”

  The augmentations that support his NP Implant are focused on medical and biological usage. They focus on paradigms that are designed to modify cells and affect brain activity. He was using his nanites to reduce your consciousness, converting minute amounts of oxygen in your brain into unusable molecules.

  “How did he gain control of my nanites? Is that something that all specialists will be able to do?”

  Negative. I believe he was using a rare paradigm called Possess. Highly illegal, although the Vengnashi Intelligence Service utilises the paradigm to neutralise nano-proliferation targets. It would not be too far of a stretch to assume other government agencies of other factions would use similar tactics.

  “I keep seeing his face, after I shot him. I see him in my dreams.”

  I too have run several scenarios through cognitive simulations. The outcomes vary but rarely do they have such a positive result as our eventual success had. There were many opportunities for us to fail, but we did not.

  “How do you feel about us heading to Ambrose Station? We’ll probably have to kill more people by the end of this.”

  I do not blame you for the deaths that are to follow. You were not the architect of this mission. I know that you will also try your hardest to make the deaths that have occurred mean something. I know you will make Eric’s death mean something.

  I kept staring at the roof of my bunk, thinking about what Tac had said. I barely noticed it when we shifted. We were on our way to the Gossamer System, at last.

  To be continued….

  Assault on Ambrose Station