“What?”
He regarded her.
“Is that really necessary?”
“Which part? The position or the plug?”
“Either. Both.”
“Of course not.”
She exhaled.
“But we’ll be doing both, nevertheless.”
“That royal we again, Cade.”
“So it was. Unless you want to experience my leather belt on your ass as incentive, do as I say.”
Feeling utterly ridiculous, she did so.
He lubed the plug. It didn’t take her long to ascertain his diabolical plan. He crouched behind her and placed the plug against her rear. When she swayed, he reached his free hand forward to play with her pussy. The position and the angle were both unique and erotic.
Rather than sliding the plug in and out, he exerted a constant pressure until the fattest part forced her sphincter muscle to yield. Then he allowed it to sink in.
Confounding her, he left her short of an orgasm.
He cleaned his hands with a wipe, then said, “You’re welcome to stand, but I can manage the ponytail while you’re in that position.”
She stood.
“Back to me.”
Cade pulled her hair back into a ponytail and looped a strand of the purple rope around it twice then secured it with an overhand knot. She felt him bend her hair into a U-shape then go around it. After a few more moves, he pulled it until it was secure.
“How’s that?”
She rolled her head. “Fine.”
“Next…”
Instead of grabbing the rope, he went to the far end of the space and moved aside a tarp. He wheeled a cheval mirror across the floor.
“I want you to watch, to see how gorgeous you are to me.”
“I’m a little too self-critical for that.”
“In that case, just look at the rope so you know what I’m doing.”
She nodded and checked out the hair bondage. It was pretty.
He used a thicker rope for what he called the chest harness.
“How much rope is that?”
“About thirty feet,” he said.
He doubled it over. It took him far less time than she’d anticipated, and it was smoother than she’d imagined. He started by wrapping the rope over her breasts, looping it at the back, then going under her breasts.
“What is it that appeals to you about this?” she asked.
“The artistry,” he said. “The rope makes a difference, too. Is it hemp? Cotton? Bamboo? Nylon? Silk? What’s the intent of the scene? Am I just tying you up so you’re helpless when I make you come? Do I just want to look at you? It can be meant as punishment, maybe, so a coarse rope is different. Then you factor in color to the sensual equation. Purple goes with your skin and your dark hair. I’d thought about red, too, and I’m sure that would be just as sensational—deep, dark, blood red.”
He was silent for a moment, and she pictured it.
In the mirror, she watched him work, admiring his speed, concentration and competence. He repeated the process before going over her shoulders. The entire time, he checked the tension and ensured the ropes were straight.
When he’d completed that portion, he stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders.
“Look at the way it shows off your breasts. You have to admit that the models you saw were beautiful in their submission, and so are you. You know I’m highly visual, so watching you at every stage is rewarding.”
He moved her to the table and told her to lie on her stomach. “Put your arms behind you and cross them.” He took each hand and guided them into position.
In less than three minutes, he’d wrapped smaller pieces of rope around her wrists then joined them to the chest harness.
“You’ll see some people attach the wrists to the ankles, but I don’t do that. I want the pressure to be kept on the chest, not your wrists, so as to avoid injury.”
She nodded as best she could.
He wrapped rope around her ankles then began the finishing touches to draw her ankles toward the chest harness.
Her mouth dried.
“We won’t go too fast or too far,” he promised. “Watch.”
Cade pulled to complete the hog-tie, forcing her back into a gorgeous arch.
“How’s that?”
“Not as uncomfortable as I feared,” she said.
He finished with a simple overhand knot then checked that the hemp wasn’t cutting into the side of her neck. “Lightheadedness? Fatigue?”
“No. Neither.”
He stepped back, studied her then returned to secure her ponytail to the setup. “Look at yourself.”
The image was surprising. She looked…serene. For a moment, she couldn’t believe it was her.
With his blunt thumbnail, he scraped the marks his crop had left on her skin, sending goosebumps through her.
“Beyond my imagination,” he approved. “Stunning. You asked what appeals to me about this. Do you see now?”
She nodded, pulling on her bonds, reminding herself of her submission.
“It’s touch, as well.” He trailed his fingers across her skin. “I can’t get enough of you.”
The sentiment was mutual.
He walked around her, looking at her from every angle. Never had she thought she could enjoy something like that, but she did.
“Do you mind if I take pictures?”
She would have said that she would have never allowed something like that.
“You’re the only other person who’ll ever see them,” he said. “I want to show you how I see you.”
“I’m not like those models,” she protested.
“You might disagree.”
“If I hate them, you’ll delete them?”
“Immediately.”
From several different angles and distances, Cade took a few shots with his cell phone camera before reviewing them. “They’re pretty damn good,” he said.
After he was satisfied, he put down the phone and said, “I’m going to readjust you.”
He redid the ankle ropes and secured them individually to the harness. Her legs were farther apart, leaving her pussy more exposed.
Then he reached for the wand vibrator.
With the way he’d used the crop on her earlier, she knew this would drive her mad, and she was right. He put it on the slowest setting, but it was enough for her to strain against her bonds.
He stopped to run additional ropes to the table, ensuring she couldn’t move even an inch.
Then he subjected her to the most exquisite torture she’d ever imagined.
She screamed as he covered her pussy with the intense head, pressing it against her. Her whole body seemed to shake and she was immobilized. “Cade.”
“Don’t hold back.”
The man was unceasing, wringing orgasm after orgasm from her.
She cried and begged for something she couldn’t name.
He talked to her, encouraged her, said how pleasing she was.
Then…
The world spun crazily, as if hurtling through space. She was desperate to reach out, to hold on to something so she didn’t fall off. But there was nothing…except Cade.
Vaguely she was aware of his soothing touch and voice.
Then she was in his arms, in the chair, with him looking down at her. He was bare chested, and his shirt covered her.
“Welcome back.” He grinned.
“What the hell?”
“I’d say you enjoyed the orgasm torture.”
“I… What?” She looked at her wrists, expecting to see chafe marks there. But there wasn’t even a single mark.
How could everything still be the same when she was so different?
After a few minutes, he left her to get a bottle of water. He opened it and stood over her, hands on his hips, until she drank.
Since her hand was shaking, he put the cap back on.
He helped her to stand and he put his shirt on her properly. Minu
te by minute, she got her bearings back. “That was something. Let’s do it again.”
As she’d hoped, he grinned.
“You’re okay if I clean up the space?”
“I can help.”
He shook his head, ending the conversation.
She soaked in his attentions as he handed her into the ATV. Loopy lodged herself in place and he surged forward.
Sofia was afraid she was starting to enjoy it as much as the dog was.
Back at the big house, she removed the butt plug and took a bath. Even though the bondage hadn’t been all that strenuous, the bath still soothed her muscles.
As he’d done yesterday, Cade brought her a glass of wine which she sipped for the half hour that she lazed in the tub.
When she was done, she pulled on one of his T-shirts, skipped the underwear and headed up to the turret.
She heard him picking out a tune on the guitar. Until now, she hadn’t been sure he actually used it.
Not wanting to disturb him, she stood at the top of the stairs, listened and watched. He was moving his bent head, as if he were someplace else, listening to lyrics only he could hear. Loopy lazed next to his chair, sprawled out on her side.
A few minutes later, as if suddenly realizing he was being watched, he glanced up and met her gaze.
“Keith Urban. You’ll Think of Me?” she asked.
“Surprised you recognized it.”
“Are you kidding? It’s an oldie, and it’s withstood the test of time. And you’re awesome.”
He shook his head. “It’s fairly easy to play.”
“Mind if I join you? Or am I interrupting?”
“Please,” he replied, standing. He put the guitar back in its spot.
She took her customary place and Loopy moved her head.
“How are you feeling now?”
“There’s not much a hot bath and a glass of wine and three dozen orgasms can’t fix.”
A slow, smug smile filtered across his lips.
“I think I fed your ego again.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“I wasn’t sure whether or not you’d heard from Erin,” she said.
“About?”
“Ah…”
He waited.
“She signed the contract today.”
“Did she?”
From his tone, she couldn’t tell whether or not he was mad. “Crap. I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to say anything.”
“I’m sure that will make Friday’s family meeting rather interesting, worth going to.”
“And I still need your guest list.”
“You are—”
“Direct.”
“Yeah. That’s the word I was looking for.” They smiled simultaneously. “So we’ll be working together for the foreseeable future?”
“It would seem so,” she replied.
“Maybe I should send my sister some flowers.”
How did he manage to say things that made her so damn happy?
“I want to show you the pictures I took of you.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe I don’t want to see them.” Or maybe she did so she could make sure he deleted them.
Cade pulled his cell phone from his back pocket and tapped through a few screens. Then he leaned forward and slid the device across the top of the trunk.
A bit hesitant, she picked it up.
But as she scrolled through the photos, she was riveted. If she hadn’t been there, didn’t recognize the mole on her right hip, she wouldn’t have guessed it was her in the pictures.
“I told you that you’re beautiful.”
Through his lens, maybe she was.
The purple rope against her skin and wrapping her hair was stunning, and the arch he’d pulled her in looked more pronounced than she could have imagined.
“Model quality right there,” he said.
The screen went blank and she put the phone back on the trunk.
“So. Do I have to delete them?”
“As long as you don’t share them, I’m fine.”
“I’m going to print one picture for my private use.”
“You…” She opened her mouth in shock then slowly closed it again. “Are you serious?”
“As long as you don’t mind.”
Sofia couldn’t believe she was considering it, yet the idea was kind of erotic. “Nothing with my face in it,” she offered as a compromise.
“I’d rather have your face, but the butt bling is pretty hot, too.”
“What?” She snatched the phone back. “There’s no plug in there.”
“No?”
She found the one he’d taken from the foot of the table and enlarged the picture. Sure enough, the little golden jewels shone from between her butt cheeks.
“That’s the one,” he told her. “Next time, I will coordinate the jewels with the color of your rope.”
Next time…
When she was already in danger of jumping into the deep end of the emotional attachment pool with a man who wouldn’t fully share himself with her. “So the picture, are you planning to put it on the shelf near the one of you and your dad?”
Silence hung. Even she couldn’t believe she’d asked the question. She had a momentary twinge of regret, but she realized this conversation had been coming. He meant too much to her to let it go.
“What did you say?” His voice was chilly, unlike anything she’d heard from him before.
She could apologize and change the subject. Or she could boldly continue, hoping for the best, prepared for the worst. “When I was in your room earlier, it caught my eye.” When he said nothing, she plunged ahead. “I’ve told you about my mom, my alcoholic father, my family. I’m curious about your dad and his death.”
“Leave it.” The warning in his tone was clear and steel spiked in his eyes.
“You looked happy. You both did. Like he was really proud of you.”
He didn’t respond.
“I know he’s dead. That’s no secret. What was it? A car wreck?”
“As you said, he’s dead. It’s no secret. And it was a car wreck.”
“And?” She sought to understand him more, learn what haunted him.
“You’re not going to fucking leave it, are you?”
“I can’t.”
“I see.” Like he often did when he was being contemplative, he pressed his hands together and considered her over the top of his steepled fingers. “So you can’t come to the ranch, enjoy it, enjoy this, us…”
“There is no us,” she said. In frustration, she raked back her hair and bunched it into a ponytail. Even that freaking reminded her of him, so she dropped her hands.
Agitation drove her to her feet. “There can’t be an us, Cade, not when you’ve shut yourself off from me, your family, your own damn life. You said yourself that they’re worried about you. And I am, too. I can’t continue to come out here and play house with you while you keep yourself holed up in this mausoleum.”
“You’re in dangerous territory.”
Rather than anger or heat in his voice, there was more control than ever, as if he was so tight he might snap. She didn’t want to be anywhere near when that finally happened.
“Am I?” She knew one thing. She wasn’t the kind of woman who was capable of having anything long-term with a man who couldn’t give just as fully. “You’re a generous lover and I’ve done crazy things with you that I would have never tried with anyone else. But I’ve never done a one-way relationship, and I won’t start now. You’ve given a lot, but you’ve demanded even more, trust that I never imagined myself capable of. Yet I get crumbs in return.” From the start, he’d warned her away. She had ignored him and her own instincts time and again. “You don’t know me if you don’t realize how important love and family is to me, how I do nothing halfway. It’s all of you or none of you.”
“So what do you need to be happy here?” He came to his feet.
Loopy put her paws around her face, as if trying t
o block out the humans.
“I know you’d share your money, your house. But I don’t want the stuff”—she waved a hand—“that money can buy.”
“So what is it, exactly, that you want? Let’s be clear. Is it my fucking emotions served cold on a platter for you to examine and pick through? For you to judge? For the almighty Sofia McBride to say whether or not I am allowed to be the way I am?”
“You don’t know me,” she snapped back, enunciating every word.
“So you want to help? Make it all better? Tell me everything’s okay? That I’ll get over it? That time heals all wounds? Platitudes. I’ve God damn well heard them all.” He continued in much quieter tones. “Like everyone else, you’ll want me to focus on the good, the happiness, the laughter, the sunset, the fact I’m still here, that I have all this, that there must be some greater meaning or purpose to the whole thing.”
And because maybe on some level he was right and she felt guilty about it, she wrapped her arms across her chest instead of responding.
“I’ll tell you this, nothing will change history. My dad’s not coming back. He was robbed of years, of the family he loved, of his potential, of the chance to grow old and maybe see his grandchildren. Do you know that kind of pain? Who have you lost? Who can you not live without that you’ll never see again? Whose gravesite do you take flowers to?”
The ache, the raw devastation in his tone was real and it etched a mark deep inside her, scarring her, too. “Cade…”
“Think about that when you make your demands of me. And while you’re considering that, I want you to remember that every morning I get up and I look in the mirror and I see my father’s eyes looking back at me. And I know that I’m the one who killed him.”
Chapter Fourteen
He was a fucker. A cold, hard motherfucker. In his defense, he’d never pretended to be anything else.
Cade watched her face transform, from shock, to pain, to apology, to compassion. He recognized it. He’d seen it a hundred times before from a hundred different people. The response was always predictable. And always disappointing. Except from Sofia.
“That sucks.”
He blinked.
“Sucks worse than most things I’ve ever heard. You’re right. I had no idea. I had no right to intrude. No right to demand anything from you.” She drew a breath. “And you’re right that there’s no way I can begin to imagine that kind of pain. I’m sorry you live with it every single day. But you know what? I’m not letting you off the hook. I’m not going to give you those platitudes you expect. I’m one of those people who likes to fix things. Probably like most women, or anyone with a heart, for that matter.” Tears swam in her eyes, but she dashed them away. “But I know I can’t fix you. I know your family has tried. I’d be stupid to think I might succeed where they’ve failed.”
Brand (The Donovan Dynasty) Page 27
