Sassy in Lingerie: Lingerie #8
Page 16
“I said, trust me.” I kept fucking her while I fingered her, feeling my cock slide in and out against my thumb. She slowly loosened around me, and I could hear her breathing change as she got used to the intrusion in her rear. She was tight, even just around my thumb. I wondered if she could handle my fat dick.
She gripped the sheets, and her moans became deeper and louder. Her back arched, and her cunt tightened around my dick. Her asshole clenched around my thumb. Before her screams emerged, I knew she was coming. “Griffin…” She thrust back into me, sheathing my dick over and over as the cream built up along the base. “God…”
My chest began to ache from the deep breaths I started to take. The image in front of me was so erotic, so sexy, that my dick started to throb inside her. I wanted to last longer and make her come again, but my dick had other plans. I pushed my thumb farther inside her as my dick started to pulse. I dumped all my come inside her, filling her channel with my white seed. I moaned under my breath as I enjoyed every single second of the high, every single moment of the intense pleasure.
When I finished, I pulled my dick out to watch my come seep out of her entrance. Bright against her dark skin, my seed dripped down her wet pussy. Watching my explosion drip from her opening made me feel like a man, like I’d truly accomplished something.
I washed up before I came back to bed. She didn’t clean herself up because she knew I didn’t want her to. Even if my come got all over the sheets, I liked having my essence sit inside her all night long.
I got into bed beside her, seeing the heaviness in her eyes. After sex, she usually went to sleep right away. She came into my side and cuddled beside me, her arm draped over my waist. She smelled like her perfume, sex, and me.
The perfect scent.
“I love you,” she said with a sigh, her eyes closing. She usually said it right before she went to sleep.
“I love you too.” My fingers slid through her hair, feeling the soft strands that tickled my chest in the middle of the night.
She tucked her leg in between mine, wrapping around me like a snake.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m leaving in the morning.”
She immediately stilled at my words, and when she didn’t ask where I was going, I knew she’d figured out exactly why I had to leave. She slowly sat up so she could look down at me. “You can’t leave right now, Griffin. It’s the worst time.”
“I know, but I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice. You never do anything you don’t want to do.”
“This is different. I’m sorry, baby.”
The disappointment in her eyes made me feel like shit. “Have one of the other guys go.”
“They’ve already rotated twice. I tried to get out of it, baby. But I can’t abandon my obligations for you.”
She sighed as she dragged her hand down my chest. “The timing couldn’t be worse.”
“I know…”
“I don’t want to tell my parents you had to leave. We can’t give them any excuse to dislike you.”
“I know that too. But this is how it has to be. I’ll come back as soon as I can, and maybe they’ll see how simple the process really is.”
She stared at my chest, unable to fight her disappointment. “My parents hate what you do.”
“Yeah, I know.” Her father made it clear how much he despised it.
She lowered herself back to my chest and returned her arm around my torso. She went quiet, knowing saying anything more wouldn’t change the outcome. I’d made my decision, and I had to leave even if I didn’t want to. “How long will you be gone?”
“A few days. I’m going to Australia.”
She stayed quiet, her hair stretching across my body. “I understand your work is important to you, but when we have our own family, you won’t be able to do it anymore. It would be hard enough for me to lose you if you never came back…but it would be so much worse on our children. You know what it’s like to grow up without parents. Don’t do that to your own family.” She squeezed me tighter, like I might slip away any moment.
Vanessa knew I wanted to marry her. But we never talked about having a family. I’d never considered having children. It didn’t seem possible, so I never entertained the idea. Being a father seemed strange to me. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I lived a life of solitude, and I could hardly communicate with people. Vanessa and the boys seemed to be the only people who understood me. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Vanessa lifted her head again to look at me, the disappointment gone. Now she looked stern and serious, like I’d said something that ticked her off. “Griffin, I need to have children. That’s nonnegotiable.”
I could picture her as a mother, giving them activities and teaching them how to paint. I could also see her being the disciplinarian, making them into strong and independent adults. I could see her loving them the way my mother loved me, wearing her heart on her sleeve with a smile on her lips.
“So don’t ask me to marry you unless that’s something you want…”
She was willing to do anything to make this relationship work, to spend six weeks trying to get her family to like me even though our mutual hatred ran so deep. But that wasn’t our breaking point. This was. “Okay.”
“Okay what?” she whispered, hesitation in her eyes.
“I won’t ask you if I don’t want a family.”
Fear moved into her gaze, like she was afraid to ask the question before it came out of her mouth. “Is that something you want…?”
I didn’t want to answer with the truth because it was so harsh. I couldn’t picture someone like me being a father. But then again, I couldn’t picture myself loving someone the way I loved Vanessa. I couldn’t picture myself forcing my enemies to like me just so I could keep her. With Vanessa, anything was possible. “All I know is I want you…and I’m willing to do anything to keep you.”
“You’ve never wanted to have your own family?”
I shook my head slightly. “It’s never crossed my mind. I didn’t think that was an option for me.”
“It’s always an option.”
“We both know I’m not father material.”
“You weren’t boyfriend material, but look at you now.”
“I’m not your boyfriend.” I didn’t like that label one bit. I was committed to her, and she was committed to me. I loved her with all my heart. A label like that didn’t seem to fit us.
“Then what are you?”
“I don’t know. But I’m definitely not your boyfriend. I’m more than that. I’m your man. You’re my woman.”
“Now you’re talking like a caveman.”
“It gets my point across, at least.”
Her lips softened into a smile. “You’re very simple.”
“I like simple.”
She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my chest. “I like it too. But I think you can be anything you want to be. You have the heart to be a great father. I know you do. My father said he wasn’t ready to be a parent when my mom was pregnant with Conway, but once Conway arrived, his life changed for the better. Look at the way he is with me…he loves me more than anything. You could be the exact same way.”
“I guess.”
She lifted her head to look at me again. “I don’t want to lose you, Griffin. But I’ll walk away if I have to…”
If I managed to work this out with her parents, it would be a waste to ever let her go. “Let’s get through this first and revisit that conversation later.”
“Alright…” She settled into my chest again and became silent.
I was tired from working in the warehouse all day, but now I couldn’t sleep. I stared at the ceiling for the next few hours, thinking about how much my life had changed—and how much more was about to change.
Nine
Vanessa
Bones packed his bag and placed it by the front door. He was taking a taxi to Florence so I could hav
e the truck while he was gone. He didn’t say much as he got ready that morning. We did our normal routine, making love as soon as the alarm went off before he showered and got dressed.
Now I stood by the front door, dreading the moment I had to say goodbye to him. I loved spending this time with him in Tuscany with my family. It was a dream come true, something I didn’t even know I wanted until I had it. I hadn’t missed Milan once.
He carried a pistol in his hand then placed it in my palm. “It’s loaded. More rounds in the nightstand.”
I gripped the handle and pointed it at the ground.
“But I’m sure you won’t need it.” He stared down at me, bending his neck because I was so much shorter than him.
I didn’t want to sleep in this house alone, not without him there. I felt so exposed, so alone. “I think I’m going to stay with my parents.”
Bones didn’t take the gun away from me. “You should keep it anyway. Put it in your nightstand.”
“Alright.” I set the gun on the entryway table then crossed my arms over my chest.
“This area is perfectly safe, baby. You don’t need to stay with your parents.”
“I want to. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t sleep without you here. I used to do it all the time when I was single. I was never scared of anything. Even after Knuckles, I was fine. But when you came into my life, everything changed. I hate it when you’re gone…” I didn’t want to whine or complain about his job, but I couldn’t lie about the way his absence made me feel. My life was turned upside down when he was gone.
His fingers moved under my chin, and he lifted my gaze to meet his. “I hate it when I’m gone too. I worry about you as much as you worry about me.”
“I doubt that…” He was the one directly putting himself at risk. He was sent off to kill someone, and I was always afraid someone would kill him instead. If Max ever called me and told me Bones would never return, I wouldn’t know how to go on. “I told my father you would stop doing this if I asked you to…” Bones had never said those words to me, had always told me how much his work meant to him. It was his life, and he didn’t just do it for the money. He needed it for his anger, needed it to give him purpose.
He stared at me, his callused fingers rough against my smooth skin. His blue eyes showed his undying affection for me, but there was also a hint of a resistance. His wide shoulders were twice my length, and his arms were thick enough to be tree trunks. His size always made me feel smaller, even smaller than I really was.
“Was I right…?”
His fingers slid down my neck until his hand gripped my waist. He moved into me, his chin moving on top of my head. He pulled me close to him, holding me in the doorway. His fingers gripped the back of my t-shirt, keeping me in place like I might float away. “Yes.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “But please don’t ask me. Don’t ask me to give up my livelihood, my purpose. I would never ask you to stop painting.”
“Painting isn’t dangerous.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He pulled away so he could look at me again.
“If my parents accept us and we move forward…it’s inevitable. I can’t handle you doing this forever. I can’t suffer every single moment you’re gone. Don’t turn me into Cynthia. Don’t come back to me in worse condition than when you left.”
When he sighed, it sounded more like a growl. “I’ve done nothing but make sacrifices for this relationship.”
“I know you have… I know.”
“You’re asking me to give up everything…all that I am.”
“And embrace everything else. You aren’t giving up anything, Griffin. You’re growing into a new man. That’s all.”
“Sounds like the same thing to me.”
“It’s not.” My arms rested on his. “I’m not asking you to make the sacrifice now, but if you’re my husband, you’ll have to do it. I can’t live like that. Don’t make me live like that…please.” I rested my forehead against his chest and closed my eyes. “I love you so much…”
He cupped the back of my head and rested his lips against my forehead. “I know you do, baby.”
I squeezed him with my arms, wanting to hold on to him as long as I could. Once he was gone, I wouldn’t speak to him for almost a week. Every day would feel like an eternity until he was back in my arms. “Please call me when you’re on your way back.”
“I’ll try. But if I don’t, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong.” He pulled away and grabbed his bag from the floor. “I’ll always come back to you, baby. I’ll always do everything I can to make it back to where I belong.”
I wasn’t going to cry because it was pathetic. I’d never been the kind of woman to cry, to let tears streak down my face. I preferred to keep my feelings bottled up inside and forget they existed. I preferred to respond to my pain with smartass comments and sassiness. But with Bones, I couldn’t do that. He stripped away my exterior until the wall surrounding my heart was long gone. Now all that was left was me…just me.
The tears started, and I couldn’t stop them.
He stared at me, his eyes hurt and his jaw clenched in pain. “Baby…”
I wiped my tears away with my fingertips and sniffed. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t cry.” He cupped my cheeks and kissed my tears away, absorbing them with his lips. “I’ll be back. I promise.”
“You can’t make a promise like that.”
“Yes, I can. Because nothing will ever stop me from coming back to you.”
When I got to the winery, I had my bags of clothes in the truck along with the pistol Bones gave to me. I intended to drive to my parents’ place once the workday was over and ask if I could crash there for a few days. That house made me feel safe because my father made sure nothing ever happened to us, and it also chased away the loneliness from my man’s absence.
I headed into the main building and walked to my father’s office. He was usually there as soon as the sun rose, wanting to get his job done so he could run along the fields and then hit his private gym.
I knocked on the door before I stepped inside. “Can I come in?”
“Why do you always ask me that?” my father asked as he made notes with his pen. “When have you ever asked that and I said no?”
Not once. “Never.”
“Exactly.” He kept writing. “What do you need, tesoro?” He finished his note then set down his pen. He leaned back in the leather armchair and looked up at me, his gaze hard like he anticipated I had something important to say about Bones. But then his gaze softened, and the concern started to come into his expression. “Tesoro, what is it? Everything alright?” He shifted from being a man to being a father instantly.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I cleared my throat. “Would it be okay if I stayed with you and Mama for a few days?”
My father’s eyes shifted back and forth slightly as he looked at me. His wide shoulders seemed to slacken, and the pain on his face mirrored the sadness in my heart. When I saw him interact with others, he didn’t show the slightest hint of empathy or compassion, but with me, when I was in pain, he was devastated. “Our home is always your home, tesoro. But what happened with Griffin?”
“He had to leave for a job…he’ll be back in a few days.” I thought I did a better job of hiding my sadness, but my father could see right through my stoic expression. I’d cried before Bones left, so my eyes were probably still red and puffy.
The sadness disappeared from his gaze, replaced by annoyance and disappointment. “I see…”
“I just don’t like being alone when he’s not there.”
My father rested his fingertips against his lips, looking at me without really seeing me. He seemed to be thinking something else. “I’m trying to like this man, but when you tell me this, it’s hard not to hate him. It’s hard not to hate him when he hurts my daughter.”
“He’s not hurting me. He’s just…”
“Leaving you and risking his life,” he countere
d. “And making you worry until you’re sick to your stomach. He’s leaving you alone and defenseless. A man never does that to his woman. It makes me respect him less.”
“Did you respect him in the first place?”
He rubbed his fingers over his chin. “A little.”
“Well, he said he would stop if I asked him to…but he doesn’t want me to ask.”
My father dropped his hands into his lap. “So, you’re never going to?”
“No. I told him this has to stop if he wants to marry me, especially when we start a family.”
My father cocked his head slightly, his eyes narrowing. “You talk about that sort of thing?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
“And you really think he’ll stop?”
“He would never lie to me. And he’s already sacrificed so much for me…I don’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t do.”
My father stared at me, his moss-green eyes deep and indecipherable. If we were having a conversation about something else, he would have been a lot more open and vulnerable. But since Bones was involved, he closed up like a clam.
“Father?”
He released a quiet sigh, as if he anticipated the next thing I was going to say. “Yes?”
I looked him straight in the eye, holding my ground in his office. I couldn’t take this indecision anymore, couldn’t handle the painful anticipation of his decision. “I need this man in my life as much as I need you. I need you to accept him. I need him…in ways I can’t explain. So I’m not waiting for your answer anymore. He’s my life. He’s my present, my future…he’ll be my husband and the father of my kids. That’s the end of my story.”
He stared at me, his body so still it was like he wasn’t breathing. Time seemed to slow down as I waited for a response, waited for him to yell at me or accept what I said. The sun was bright outside his window, but the mood in his office was dark and cold. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were hollow. It didn’t seem like he would say anything at all because the silence spanned several minutes.
Just when I turned to walk out, he spoke.