Sex, Secrets and Happily Ever Afters

by Deb Julienne

  “I do.” Kat finished her drink. “I admire your strength and determination.”

  Strength? Determination, yeah, but Angel never thought about herself as being strong.

  Kat chuckled. “Come on. Let’s get Jill off the dance floor and get you home.”

  They dragged Jill out of the club, still singing at the top of her lungs for some cowboy to take her away.

  Once in the car Kat asked, “By the way, what’s going on with you and Travis?”

  “Nothing much. I kind of blew it the other day. I sent him packing.”

  “All you have to do is show up at his hotel. One look at you and he’ll forgive you anything.” Kat chuckled.

  “He deserves better than that. I was wrong and I was rude to him. I didn’t give him a chance.”

  “Apologize already. You don’t have to be a matchmaker to see you two belong together,” Jill said.

  “Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness, so says Gibbs on NCIS. In Travis’s case, pretend you’re willing to overlook his flaws and give him another chance. You might as well train him right from the beginning.” Kat sounded serious until she started laughing.

  “I don’t know. I’m just not sure I’m ready for a relationship, and that’s what he wants. I have so much going on with the store, especially now that I have to move. It’s a matter of finding out how much time until the sale goes through so I can plan.”

  “We’re all here to help you, even Travis, if you’ll let him,” Kat said.

  “It’s more involved.” Angel didn’t know if she could explain it well enough.

  “Are you willing to talk about it?” Jill asked.

  “Travis knows. That’s enough.” Kat wasn’t the only one who was a bit pushy.

  “I get that, but you’re among friends. Our lives are an open book. If you have questions, just ask. Do we need to have another round of truth and dare to prove it?” Kat said jokingly, but it felt like a veiled threat.

  “No, thanks. I’ll talk.”

  “Coward.” Kat chuckled.

  Angel flinched. “Damn straight.”

  By the time they returned home, Kat and Jill had heard the majority of her woeful tale. She held nothing back this time.

  “Son of a bitch.” Kat slapped the steering wheel.

  Jill said, “Damn girl. That sucks the big one.”

  “Yeah, you can say that again,” Angel said. “This is why I have to do things myself. The way I grew up always taking hand-me-downs from the congregations, Mom reminding us what we owed people. It’s not something I handle well. Then there was the people who helped me with the adoption and my schooling. I was constantly reminded of what they’d done for me. Sure, you appreciate the help, but you get to the point you’d just rather do it all on your own instead of owing others.”

  “No wonder you’re gun-shy. And don’t tell me—no other men since, right?” Kat asked.

  “Not until Travis. This is why I’m in no hurry to rush things.”

  “I don’t blame you, but I will tell you that you have nothing to worry about with Travis. He’s honorable and he’s crazy about you.”

  “Be that as it may, I’m still not ready.” Angel felt relieved to have talked so openly about her situation. Her personal life wasn’t something she was comfortable discussing, but it did make her feel better. At least it was out in the open now.

  “Can I ask one last question?” Kat asked.

  “Sure, what have I got to lose?”

  “Travis told me he’s in love with you. Is there any chance for him? I know he’s not perfect, but I believe him.”

  “That’s just it. Travis doesn’t have to be perfect. He’s perfect for me. I can’t help but feel he’s too good to be true. I don’t deserve him. He deserves so much better.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it.” Jill gripped her arm.

  “I can’t help how I feel.”

  “Just because you did the right and honorable thing doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy. Hell, you’re the daughter of a minister. Are you going to tell me forgiveness is a bunch of hooey? I don’t think so. You can’t forgive anyone, including the dirt bag who hurt you, if you don’t forgive yourself first. Believe me, Travis would never hurt you. Consider my words—that’s all I ask. You and Travis are good together,” Kat said.

  Alone in her room Angel decided it was time, once and for all, to figure out what she wanted in her future. The store, the move, even Travis. She couldn’t live with the misery any longer, didn’t want to.

  Until she spoke to the landlord, she could do nothing about that or the move. That left Travis. Did she really want him in her life?

  Hell yeah.

  She and Travis would be good if only she could get beyond her past. Was forgiving herself all that stood between her and Travis?

  Once she acknowledged her feelings for Grant had been woefully inaccurate, she was able to let go of that hurt. He’d been a jerk, pure and simple, a stupid, testosterone-driven male. It had been her decision to have sex and her responsibility alone to accept.

  Her feelings about herself were the ultimate problem. In the past few days, she’d done enough research on the subject of self-loathing and hatred, and after talking to her friends, she’d realized holding onto her past allowed her a certain amount of protection. Meeting Travis and finally allowing herself to feel again went a long way to help her over those pains.

  It was the first positive step she’d taken toward healing.

  It was all about choices.

  It was time to stop beating herself up.

  She had to choose to want to leave the pain, the sorrow, the crippling emotional baggage behind, and most of all she had to quit judging herself.

  If she really wanted happiness then she had to take charge and move forward.

  Tomorrow she’d call Travis. No, she’d go see him. Better to apologize face to face. She owed him that much, if he’d accept it.

  Chapter 10

  Travis spent the day on the phone with realtors, investment bankers, even his financial adviser, all for the sake of Angel’s options. During the interludes, he tried to figure out what to do with his life. Lunch went well with Dan Jacobs. Dan had spoken to the building owner and so far the guy admitted he needed to liquidate some assets, the sooner the better, and the building would be on the market by the weekend. At least they had a little time.

  Seated in the restaurant of his hotel, papers spread across a table for four, he finished writing the monthly report for Wellington International. He put the Wellington Aeronautics report into his briefcase. He had a call or two to make, and then he’d be ready to confront his father about his findings.

  The waitress came by to warm his coffee as he gathered the rest of the files and stowed them in his briefcase.

  “Mind if I sit down?” Delaney asked.

  Travis let out a heavy breath and scowled. He didn’t want another confrontation. “As a matter of fact, I’m heading for my room, so if you’ll excuse me...”

  “I’ll join you,” she said with a husky voice, spider walking her fingers up his arm.

  “What do you want, Del? I’ve already said we’re through.” Travis leaned back in his chair. No more Mr. Nice Guy where she was concerned.

  “Quit acting so dramatic. We’re good together. Admit it.” She squeezed his shoulder.

  Travis’s stomach churned. He removed her hand from his shirt then exaggeratedly dusted off where she’d touched him.

  She raised one of her perfectly sculptured eyebrows and scowled at him. “Just because your nose is out of joint about what you overheard is no reason to throw away our relationship.” Delaney’s eyes narrowed into judgmental slits. Her lips reminded him of a puckered ass.

  “We don’t have a relationship. We never did. What we had was a manipulation by our parents. For God’s sake, Del. Did you really want a marriage for the sake of a merger?”

  “Who cares about a merger? We’re right for each other.”

&
nbsp; How had he missed this side of her? Her beauty was a mirage. Phony as her Botox-injected lips; her surgically perfect nose; and false eyelashes, nails, and breasts. “Wrong. You only want me to make your parents happy. Your parents want the Wellington connection. Your father wants to run Wellington Aeronautics. Screw that. What about me? If I get married, it’s going to be for the right reason—not to please my parents. I’m done trying to please anyone but myself.”

  “You owe me, Travis. I was the mother of your child.” Delaney glared at him.

  “Was being the definitive word. You lost it, remember?” Travis couldn’t keep the venom from his voice. He didn’t bother to try.

  Delaney flinched and started with the waterworks. She sat down at the table, grabbed one of the pristine napkins, and dabbed her eyes. Mascara smeared under her lashes. “How can you be so cruel?”

  “Cruel was lying to me. Cruel was using me to further your father’s career. Cruel is pretending we ever had anything at all.” His stomach churned in disgust and at his own loss of his child.

  “But I’m wearing your ring.” She covered her mouth. Her brows pinched together.

  “That’s another thing. I barely remember buying the damn thing. We were drunk after that ridiculous dinner with your parents. I never even asked you to marry me. All of a sudden, we’re in Tiffany’s and I’m handing my credit card to the cashier. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t equal an honest-to-goodness proposal in my mind.”

  Delaney gazed past him. “Travis, be reasonable.” She grabbed his hand between both of hers and batted her lashes at him. “There was a time I mattered to you. Can’t we go back?” Her expression softened, taking him back to one of a few shared memories of happier times.

  Those days were over. “No, Del, we can’t. Don’t you have any pride?”

  “No.” Once again, tears welled in her eyes.

  “Well, that’s too bad for you.” This time he suspected her tears were sincere. Her pride was gone. When had she become so pathetic? He almost pitied her. No, he couldn’t soften. It was what she wanted. He tried to pull his hand away, but she held on tight with both hands.

  “Don’t you understand how bad I need this marriage? My parents are counting on me. I can’t fail them.”

  He had to pull her fingers away one at a time, but at least he was able to free himself. “Let me ask you a question, and damn it, Del, I want the truth. I’m done with your bullshit. You certainly don’t love me. Why do you want to marry me?”

  She paled. “You’re a man. Everything is easier in your world. I have an education, big deal. What good is it to be polished and poised in my world, bred to be a trophy wife, nothing more?” She dabbed her eyes then shrugged and sniffed.

  “I’m not falling for the T-rex tears. You’d eat me alive given the chance. Our folks may want this union, but I don’t. I won’t allow a merger between families to be the driving force of a marriage. I’m not going to let my family run my life and neither should you.”

  “That’s fine for you, but where does it leave me?” There was a hint of sadness in her voice. She played with her engagement ring, sliding it on and off.

  Travis almost felt sorry for her, but after all the problems she caused, he refused to be swayed. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently, it’s that I should to take a page from Trent’s book. You can’t please everyone. He walked away from the family, the business, everything and found what he wanted most. Peace of mind. Choosing his own path led him to Sabrina. He’s never been happier.” He should have listened to Trent sooner. The manipulations of being the eldest son no longer worked for him. “What we had was never about love, but making our parents happy. Sorry, but I want what Trent has.”

  “I’m sorry for what we put you through. More than I can ever say. Will you forgive me?”

  “If I thought you meant it, I’d say yes. But I know you. You don’t have an honest bone in your body.” No use pretending.

  “I’m trying. Give me a little credit.” She crossed her arms, amplifying her cleavage, as if he could miss it, and fixed him with a stern, demanding stare.

  In the past, that look had never failed to leave him feeling he belonged in the corner. Now, it didn’t faze him. “I’m sorry you lost the baby. If it had lived, things might have been different. Eventually, we would have grown to hate each other. I’d rather part as friends.”

  “Friends.” Delaney huffed.

  “Something wrong with that?” He suspected she was restraining herself. If and when she blew, he wanted to be long gone.

  “I don’t do friendships with men.” Scowling, Del shifted in her seat and tapped a rat-a-tat-tat on the table. It ended with a loud staccato that vibrated the table, sending coffee out of their cups.

  “Maybe it’s time you try.”

  “So this is it?” Delaney stood, grabbed her clutch purse, and tucked it under her arm.

  “Yes.”

  Delaney gave him a baleful glare and stalked away.

  He had a feeling it was far from over. If he was smart, he’d be frightened, but he was so darn happy to finally rid himself of Delaney, he refused to think about the negative aspects of their conversation.

  * * * *

  Angel left Travis’s hotel and drove back to the shop. It took several tries to get her key into the lock and open the door only to discover the lock had been open all along. She stumbled through the door and collapsed against the counter.

  Jill came out of the storeroom. “Are you okay?”

  “No, I was too late. Travis and Delaney made up.” Angel shuddered, amazed at how strong her voice sounded despite the shaking within her. Unstable on her feet, she grabbed the counter as her knees buckled, acid rising up her throat.

  Jill rushed to her side and helped her into a chair. “No way. Kat told me he was done with her.”

  “Apparently he changed his mind. They were at his hotel and looked pretty cozy.” Angel thought she was going to pass out. If only she hadn’t been so damned stubborn, it might not have ended this way.

  “I don’t care what you say, I don’t believe it.” Jill’s voice had a smooth soothing tone.

  No matter how much she wanted to believe as Jill did, there was no arguing the way Delaney had fawned at Travis over their clasped hands. “It’s not up to me. Look, I can’t do this anymore. I have to get on with my life. I was foolish to ever think a guy like Travis would fall for me. It was a nice dream while it lasted, but it’s over.”

  Jill hugged her. “I still don’t believe it.”

  Angel tossed her purse in the cabinet beneath the cash register and caught a whiff of gardenia in bloom. She stifled a sob as she removed her coat and hung it on the hook inside the storeroom. “Can you handle the store? I have some work to do. I’ll be in the back.”

  “Sure, go on. I’ll call you if I need you.”

  Angel pushed through the curtains to the back room and sat at her workbench. She’d been so convinced she wasn’t worthy of love, she’d pushed Travis away. Yet, if he truly loved her, he’d never have taken Delaney back. No. She wouldn’t do that to herself again. She was stronger than that. She wouldn’t waste any more tears on a man. Not when she had so many things to be thankful for. A business she loved. Friends she could count on. But most of all, she had her self-respect back. She’d thank Travis for that as well.

  Even as she was trying to be strong, guilt set in. She hadn’t been able to provide for her baby. Her heart ached with each ragged breath, but her gift to her daughter, two loving parents, had been the right thing to do.

  She picked up her needle and thread, grabbed the container of beads, and forced herself to get busy. For the next hour and half, she added beads to Marianne’s wedding dress. The Swarovski crystals she added to the bodice gave the appearance of shimmering diamonds. Marianne would love it.

  Jill called, “Angel, can you come up front for a minute?”

  She stabbed hers thumb with the needle. “Damn, that hurt.” She put the needle i
n the pincushion and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

  Beyond the curtain, Travis stood there, handsome as could be.

  Feeling ambushed, she stiffened her spine and lifted her chin.

  Jill cheeks flushed pink. Dancing in place, she was practically giddy. Poor Jill. Travis was probably just here to say goodbye.

  Angel tried her best to suppress any hope she had.

  This was it.

  * * * *

  His mind suddenly blanked as he struggled to find words. His heart skipped a beat. He wanted to laugh at the way she sucked her thumb, but he couldn’t think past wanting to take her in his arms and beg for forgiveness. “Hi.”

  “Can I help you?” Arms crossed, she tapped her toes.

  Damn. Where was the smile he had hoped for? Her eyes were red-rimmed and her makeup slightly smudged.

  Travis took a deep, calming breath. “I came to see if you’d have coffee with me. I’d hoped we could talk.”

  “Talk about what? How you’re sorry you gave me the wrong impression, that it’s been fun, but you’re going back to your fiancée. Save it, Romeo. I saw it with my own two eyes.”

  “What? Wait a minute. I don’t know what you think you saw but it was nothing like that.” He reached for her.

  She moved behind the counter. “Forget it, Travis. I saw you and Delaney. I saw the ring on her finger, you two holding hands.”

  “I wasn’t holding her hand. She was trying to keep me from leaving. I told her it was over, once and for all.”

  “That’s not what it looked like to me. I saw a woman deeply in love with a man. I’m sorry, but I won’t be the cause of your breakup.”

  “Son of a bitch.” That’s what he got for being nice. He should have sent Del packing the second she stopped by his table. He’d bet his bottom dollar Delaney had known Angel was there. “You’re wrong.”

  “I hope you’ll be happy.” Angel stormed into the back room.

  “Angel, wait. Please.”