Need You (Unrequited #1)

by Charlotte J Cowan

  I was awake in the morning before my alarm went off, a feeling of dread settling in my stomach at the thought of the day ahead. Quickly climbing out of bed, I made my way into the bathroom to shower, the hot water relaxing the muscles and easing the tension in my neck immediately. I spent time drying and lightly curling my hair so it sat in long waves down my back. I kept my makeup simple but lined my eyes with khol to make the brown pop. I wanted to look as different from Christina as possible.

  Sliding on a blue maxi dress and sandals, I was almost ready to go when I heard a car horn outside. I stuck my hand out the window to Ryder signalling to give me two minutes. I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs. My mother stopped me on the way out the door with an apple in her hand, eyeing my outfit.

  “Isn’t that a bit casual for school?” She raised her eyebrow at me but I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Compared to what I used to wear, yes, it was very casual. And I liked it.

  “No, it’s fine. You know I updated my wardrobe and I feel more comfortable in this than pleated skirts and polo shirts.”

  “Who’s outside?” she asked, completely ignoring my reply and handing me the apple.

  “Uhm, just a friend from school. Ryder.” I fiddled with the straps on my bag nervously. I hadn’t mentioned Ryder or our fake relationship to her all summer. Not because I was embarrassed or ashamed but because I didn’t know how to explain to her that I was fake dating the school’s player in a pathetic attempt to get back at Chace.

  “I’ve never heard of him. I thought you were avoiding your friends.”

  “I am. He’s new. I mean a new friend. He comes to Maurice’s. I gotta go. I’m going to be late.” I kissed her cheek and turned to the door.

  “Okay, sweetheart. Have a good day. Try not to let them get you down.” She smiled at me and closed the door when I stepped out. I quickly threw the apple over the fence into the neighbour’s rose bushes feeling too nervous and sick to eat. It could fertilise the garden or something.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned to see Ryder staring at me through the windscreen of his early model muscle car. Walking slowly toward the car, I couldn’t stop the nerves. My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up or something equally embarrassing. I paused for a moment and closed my eyes trying to rid my mind of unwanted thoughts before opening the car door and sliding in beside him.

  “Hi,” I said, my voice a whisper as I avoided looking at him.

  “Ah, hey.” He cleared his throat but his voice sounded all gravelly as he backed his car out of my driveway. Is he sick? He doesn’t look sick. He seemed fine the other day when I saw him. Maybe he is nervous too. Ha! Who am I kidding? This is Ryder. He doesn’t get nervous.

  “You look hot. Chace is gonna kick himself when he sees you.” He smirked at me and began chewing on his lip ring.

  “Uhm, thanks.” I was twisting my hands nervously in my lap wondering if the whole plan was a bad idea. Maybe I should have just changed schools instead. No, that was ridiculous. I could do it. I could walk into that school with Ryder with not a care in the world. I had to do it.

  “We are going to make a huge entrance. You ready for that?” He grinned but I shook my head no at his question. No way was I ready for that. I wanted to tell him to take me back home but that would have been stupid. I had to get it over with. It would be like ripping off a band-aid. Once it was done, I would wonder why I ever freaked out.

  I hoped.

  “It will be okay. Trust me. I got our class schedules already and we have homeroom with both of them,” he said. How did he get our schedules? We didn’t usually get them till we got to school.

  “How did you manage that?” I asked him.

  “I charmed the administration lady early this morning. She gave me yours, mine, and both of theirs.” Of course he charmed the admin lady. He could charm anyone. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t want anyone to see me yet. I hunted around in my bag for my sunglasses. They would at least shield part of my face from the stares I was sure to get. I needed to pull myself together.

  Ryder pulled into the parking lot, the car engine rumbling. Everyone stopped to stare at him like always. You’d think he was a freaking celebrity the way the girls drooled and the guys glared. Feeling self-conscious, I put my head down and willed myself not to throw up. Ryder rubbed a comforting hand over my back as I moaned into my hands.

  He pulled into the parking spot reserved for him by the front gate and told me to wait in the car. The spot wasn’t officially reserved for him but everyone knew it was Ryder’s spot. You only parked there if you wanted your tyres slashed or something.

  I waited in the car while Ryder got out, unsure of what he had planned and hoping that it was nothing too crazy. I could feel people staring and trying to sneak a peek while I kept my face as out of sight as possible. My fears were confirmed. Everyone was staring and pointing and whispering. I was grateful for the tinted windows and my new makeover because it seemed no one was quite sure who I was yet.

  I suddenly wished it was still summer holidays and I’d had more time to prepare for this. All that time Ryder and I spent together in the store didn’t seem like enough. I wasn’t even sure I could act like his girlfriend. Maybe we should have practised more.

  I was yanked out of my thoughts when my door opened and Ryder leant in to see me.

  “Ready?” He smiled softly and brushed a curl out of his face.

  “No,” I whispered, shaking my head. I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly dragged my eyes up to meet his. They were sparkling with what was unmistakably mischief.

  “Come on, Bailey. I got you. Let’s teach that little bitch a lesson he deserves.”

  I still don’t’ understand why he wants to do this. To help me? No, I don’t think so. Well, not entirely. For his own selfish reasons? Yeah, probably. But surely there must be a better way for Ryder to get back at Chace than pretending to be my boyfriend? I just don’t get why he would go to the trouble.

  “Come on. Get out of the car. We’ll wait until everyone has gone in before we go in, okay? Just get out of the damn car.” He held his hand out to me in a polite gesture but he was anything but polite. Hesitantly, I placed my hand in his and he pulled me out of the car bringing me to his chest. He pressed me against the car and put his hands on either side of my body, caging me in but also blocking half the school’s view of me.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, as I leant my head on his chest hiding further and trying to control my breathing, which was now coming out in gasps. I was beginning to panic again. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t see properly. Oh God. I felt like I was going to pass out.

  “Hey, it’s okay. What is wrong with you?” Ryder asked, leaning in to speak quietly in my ear.

  “Panic attack,” I gasped.

  “You’ll be okay. Just freakin’ relax.” Ryder brought his hand up and cupped my face, making me look at him while rubbing soothing circles on my cheek with his thumb. “Just breathe, Bailey.”

  I began to relax at his gentle touch and harsh words, taking deep breaths in and out. “See, it’s not so bad, is it?” he asked. I shook my head letting it fall to his chest again.

  “I don’t like the attention. So many people are staring,” I mumbled into his chest. He surprised me by letting out a loud laugh.

  “Of course they are. You are the smoking hot mystery girl that just showed up to school in my car. Everyone wants to know who I’m screwing.” He smiled momentarily while I cringed at the thought of people assuming we were sleeping together. I didn’t want people to think that I was just another one Ryder’s girls. Suddenly his body stiffened.

  “Damn, here they come,” he mumbled. They who? They them? Oh no. I can’t do it yet. I’m still not ready to see them. The breathing that I had just got under control picked up again and the queasy feeling in my stomach returned. I didn’t want to see them. I should have just told Ryder to take me home. I felt hot.

  “Ryder?” I looked up at
him and was about to ask through my erratic breathing when he caught me off guard and captured my face between his hands pressing his lips to mine. I froze for a second not knowing what to do. Why is he kissing me? Am I supposed to kiss him back? Of course I am. I am his fake girlfriend and I should act like it. I moulded my lips to his and moved them in sync. I could feel his smile as I slowly relaxed into him and the kiss, my breathing suddenly evening out.

  Ryder’s hands travelled down my sides and came to rest on my hips. He pushed me back against the car. I began to panic that people could see me, so I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck to keep my face hidden a bit longer.

  Ryder’s tongue traced along my lips, slowly making me gasp in surprise, allowing him in. Suddenly it dawned on me that I was kissing Ryder Jones. That was the one thing the entire female population—and some of the male—of this school dreamed about.

  Ryder’s lips pressed harder against mine. His tongue slowly began exploring my mouth and I’m sure I heard him groan. All thoughts and sounds of the crowd surrounding us were lost. Oh my God, I was kissing Ryder freaking Jones.

  His fingertips traced a line from my hips around my lower back and then back across my stomach leaving a burning trail in their wake. My heartbeat picked up and I was sure he could feel it where our chests were pressed together. Who knew kissing could feel like this? I tried not to think about how many other girls had felt his lips against theirs or his hands across their skin. If I thought about that, I would freak out again. We pulled apart when we heard the bell signal the beginning of class. Wow!

  “Whoa!” Ryder smirked at me and licked his lips. “That was...”

  “Terrible? I’m sorry. You caught me off guard.” I apologised to him and put my head down again, too embarrassed to look in his eyes knowing I was a terrible kisser.

  “No. I was gonna say that was hot. Feel free to kiss me like that whenever you want. I can’t wait to get you into bed.” He chuckled at my obvious discomfort, making my face heat up again. I slapped his chest, making him laugh harder.

  “You’re a perv. Why did you kiss me anyway? Some warning would have been nice.” I brought my hands back down beside me and he leant against the car blocking me from the view of a few students who were dragging behind.

  “I’m your boyfriend. I have the right to kiss you whenever I want. And they were walking toward us. Just wait till they realise it was you I had pressed up against my car.” He laughed again.

  The final bell sounded. Ryder looked around to see if the coast was clear.

  “Let’s roll,” he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the doors.

  VII.

  “We are going to be so late. I’ve never been late before,” I told him as we hurried down the corridor toward our homeroom, our feet pounding on the beige tiles. Honestly, what were the chances we would all get the same homeroom? I just hoped that I had no other classes with them.

  “Better late than never. Come on. Run!” he said, pulling my hand harder. I stumbled along after him laughing at nothing. I think my nerves had finally got the best of me. I was losing my mind. Ryder pulled me through a door and quickly came to a stop, which I was not expecting. I ran straight into his back making him chuckle and me laugh even more.

  I only stopped laughing because I heard someone clear their throat and I realised we had just burst into a class full of students who were now staring at us. I squeezed the hand Ryder currently had wrapped around my own and reached up to grab his arm with my free hand for support. Eeeek! Everyone was looking and whispering.

  “Mister Jones!” The teacher called out in a stern voice causing me to step impossibly closer to Ryder. “Is there a reason why you and Miss Mitchell are late and causing such a disruption?” He knew who I was straight away, even with new hair and sunglasses covering my face. The entire classroom turned to look at us. So that was Ryder’s big entrance—gain the attention of everyone. No more hiding I guess.

  “Ah, sorry, sir. Couldn’t keep my hands off my girl. I mean, look at her.” Smug bastard. He dragged me out from behind his back and threw his arm around my neck pulling me close and pressing a kiss to the side of my head. There were a few murmurs of hot and damn and other stuff I couldn’t make out. I could feel my cheeks getting warm and I wanted nothing more than to press myself into Ryder’s back again and hide. I thought I would die from embarrassment.

  “Well, in future, I’d appreciate it if you could keep your hands to yourselves during school hours. Sit down, now!” Mr Davis pointed to an empty table.

  I clutched at the front of Ryder’s short-sleeved, plaid shirt, which, by the way, had never looked better on anyone, especially when paired with his skinny jeans. When I looked up at him, too afraid to look at anyone else, I was expecting him to lead us over to the table Mr Davis had told us to sit at but instead, he directed us to a table directly in front of them.

  I didn’t want to see anyone’s reactions and I knew they were still staring, so I began fidgeting and focusing on the buttons of his shirt, not looking at anyone. A boy was sitting there already but one look from Ryder and he switched tables.

  I reluctantly took a seat next to Ryder, who immediately threw his arm back around my neck and pulled me close so he could whisper in my ear.

  “Don’t look so damn nervous. Relax. Hold my hand and let the fun begin,” he said quietly so no one could hear. I was a little worried about his idea of fun but still I reached up to his hand hanging over my shoulder dangerously close to my chest and interlaced our fingers.

  Ryder started absentmindedly tracing patterns on my leg with his other hand while the teacher called the attendance roll. I focused on the movements of his fingers so I could block out the whispers surrounding us. We were certainly going to be the most popular subject for the day.

  I could feel Chace and Christina’s glares from behind us almost burning a hole into our backs.

  The bell rang and Ryder jumped out of his seat. Everyone seemed to be watching and waiting to see what he or we would do next.

  “Come on, B. I’ll walk you to class. It’s on my way.” He smirked and held out his hand for me to take. I heard someone behind me gasp and someone else curse as I tried not to cringe at my nickname. It was them.

  The morning passed slowly and uncomfortably. I felt like the main attraction at a zoo. Everyone was staring and pointing and coming up to me, harassing me. At least the focus was mainly on Ryder and me and not about them. I tried to be polite and tried not to let the nasty comments get to me but it was hard. I didn’t want to explain any of my actions to anyone and nor did I think I had to.

  Unfortunately, the only class I had with Ryder was homeroom. Fortunately, it was also the only class I had with them. Every time I’d see either Chace or Christina in the hall, they’d glare at me like I’d done something terrible. Chace didn’t look like his usual smiling self and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because I was fake dating Ryder. He looked like he had just eaten something sour. Christina, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have a care in the world except when someone would approach me and question me about what was going on with Ryder. That was when the daggers came out, which was a lot. Christina always had to be the centre of attention. But today, it was all about me and Ryder.

  It seemed that becoming Ryder Jones’ girlfriend instantly made me famous, hated, and desired all at once. I couldn’t take three steps down the hall without some stopping me.

  “So, is it true? You’re Ryder’s girlfriend?”

  “How did you meet?”

  “How did you score Ryder Jones?”

  “Oh my God! I’m so jealous.”

  “What’s with the makeover?”

  “You look hot. Wanna go out?”

  “You should dump him and date me instead.”

  “Damn, you must be great in bed for Ryder to settle down.”

  “It won’t last.”

  “He’ll get bored and dump you soon.”

  “Ryder doesn’t date.”
>
  “Chace is pissed that you moved on so quickly with Ryder.”

  Yeah, I liked that last comment the most.

  I was grateful when the bell rang for lunch in the hope that I could escape the madness for a little while but my hope was shattered when I walked into the cafeteria and heard the dreaded call. Not that I was dreading hearing him calling out to me but it was more what he called out.

  “Hey, B! Over here.” Ryder’s voice shouted over the noise of everyone talking and laughing. Trying not to let it show how much it bothered me and trying to ignore the fact that the entire cafeteria fell silent when he called out to me, I made my way over to where he was standing in line for food. An undeniably beautiful smile stretched across his face. I could almost see his eyes light up as I approached. Almost. He was that good at faking this relationship. And I was just awkward.

  As soon as I reached him, he gripped my waist with one hand and the back of my neck with the other. Tangling his fingers in my hair, he pulled my face close, our lips almost touching.

  “Everyone is watching,” I whispered, as my breathing began to shallow out and pick up the pace again. I was aware people were standing too close to be considered comfortable. It was making me nervous and I had the sudden urge to throw up again.

  “I know. Let’s give them something to watch.” He grinned, pulling my body against his. I didn’t want to. I wanted to crawl into a dark hole and not come out. But I was dating Ryder after all and he did have somewhat of a reputation, so I reached up and threaded my fingers through his thick curly hair.

  “Your hair’s getting long,” I said, trying to distract myself from the thoughts of being the centre of attention and gain control of my increasing panic. I never received as much attention when I was with Chace.

  “I know. I’ll shave it soon.”

  He couldn’t shave it. I liked his curls.

  “No, don’t. I kinda li...” I began to say but he cut me off by pressing a finger to my lips. His eyes flickered somewhere above my head and I knew immediately that he had seen them.