Need You (Unrequited #1)

by Charlotte J Cowan

  I was so lost in his kisses and the warmth of his arms that I lost all sense of time. Apparently he did too. We kissed and kissed and kept kissing until a pounding on the side of the truck made Ryder pull back with a groan and a frown on his face.

  “Kinda busy here.” Ryder growled over his shoulder.

  I bit my lip to suppress the laugh that was threatening to explode at the disappointed look on his face.

  “Is everything okay? The movie end—” I heard Chace’s voice falter and turned my head to the side to see him peering over the edge of the truck, “—ed twenty minutes ago. What the hell, Bailey?” he shouted.

  “Get lost, Chace.” Ryder pushed himself off me, reaching out to pull me up too.

  “What the hell are you doing, Bailey? This isn’t you.” He gestured to what I assumed was my very messed up and dishevelled looking appearance as we climbed out the back of the truck. Ryder and I had apparently kissed throughout the whole movie and twenty minutes after. The entire drive-in was empty. I let out a bitter laugh.

  “Like you know who I am, Chace. This is exactly me. This is me when I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not. This is me when I’m not trying to please you,” I said, smoothing my hands through my hair and trying to ignore the smirk on Ryder’s face at my attempt to fix my appearance.

  “No, this is bullshit. This is him. He’s a bad influence on you. You were never like this until he came along.” Chace raised his voice.

  Ryder’s fists clenched by his side. He went to move but stopped when I tugged on his wrist, pulling him to me.

  “This has nothing to do with Ryder,” I shouted. I could feel all the anger I had for him boiling inside.

  “Of course it does,” Chace yelled back.

  “You know what? You’re right. This has everything to do with Ryder,” I said, feeling Ryder tense beside me trying to pull his hand from my grip but I only tightened it. I knew he thought that I agreed with Chace all of a sudden but I didn’t. “Because of Ryder, I’m confident. And I am so over you. Because of Ryder, I’m happy. And you can go and fuck Christina. Or yourself for all I care. Just leave me alone.” I looked at Ryder and he stared back, chewing on his lip ring again.

  “Chace!” Christina’s voice called out like nails scratching down a chalkboard. “What are you doing?”

  “Better run along before she gets angry,” I told Chace while still watching Ryder, trying to work out what he was thinking and if I had said the wrong thing.

  Had I just freaked him out? Probably.

  It felt amazing to tell Chace where to go.

  I was vaguely aware of Chace leaving, muttering something under his breath as he went, but I was too busy searching Ryder’s face for a clue.

  After what seemed like forever, he tugged on my hand and pulled me around to the passenger side of the car. He pressed me against the door and caged me in with his arms.

  “We should go,” he muttered, as he leant in and pressed his lips to mine again. This time it was different. It was softer, sweeter and not at all like the heated kisses we had shared before. It was almost emotional. Ryder ended the kiss first. He pulled away slightly, making me whimper.

  Whimper? I freaking whimpered when he stopped kissing me. What the hell was that about?

  I didn’t miss the cocky grin on his face as he helped me into my seat before he whistled a little tune and climbed into his side.

  XIV.

  I looked up from my homework and peered over the stack of books in front of me on the counter as I heard the bell chime. Indie’s voice rang through the bookstore. “Well? Did you ask him?” I ducked back behind the books in front of me. I’d been avoiding her all weekend so I didn’t have to discuss the date with Ryder. It was a great night and I’d enjoyed every moment of it. That was the problem. I had enjoyed our fake date more than I should have. Ryder made it too easy to forget that we were only pretending to be together.

  “Where are you, Bailey?” she called out again, sounding closer. I couldn’t keep hiding. She’d see me eventually.

  “Here.” I sat up straight so she could see me. Her eyes lit up and an excited smile crossed her face.

  “Well?”

  “Hi, Indie. How are you? I’m great, thanks. Had a good weekend. You?” I asked sarcastically. She just looked at me, completely unimpressed. “No, I haven’t asked him yet. I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night.” [AL11] I had been avoiding him all weekend. I was relying too much on him and how he made me feel—feel things that I didn’t know what to do with. We were pretending and it seemed better to keep our distance outside school before the lines blurred completely.

  “You haven’t spoken to your boyfriend all weekend? Why? Did something happen?” She hoisted herself up and sat on the counter beside me with her eyebrows raised waiting for a response. Yes, something had happened. We’d kissed for hours like a pair of horny teenagers in a relationship. Horny teenagers we were but in a relationship we were not. Then I’d told Chace how I felt and that I was happy because of Ryder. And then I’d clearly freaked out all weekend about it and what it all meant.

  I felt as though I’d crossed some fake relationship line or something and I didn’t know what to say to him. There was no reason for either of us to act like that, even if Chace was there watching our every move. Ryder and I didn’t have to kiss that passionately or for that long. I didn’t know what to make of it that comment about what I was doing to him and how he wanted to see me looking all messed up after we’d slept together. He was a flirt. I knew that. But it was still weird. It was too full on for a fake relationship and it was confusing the hell out of me.

  Ryder and I being together was beginning to feel like second nature. Like we didn’t have to act anymore. It was like we really were in a relationship but without any of the romantic feelings. Only chemistry.

  Lots of chemistry.

  I’d never felt that physically attracted to anyone before. Not even Chace. I’d never had the world fade away when a boy looked at me. I’d had never had anyone make me feel so happy and confident. And none of it was real.

  “Nothing happened. We’ve just been busy.” I decided not tell her about it all since I would probably end up having to explain the fake relationship thing sooner or later anyway.

  “Well, call him now and ask him,” she insisted.

  “What’s the rush?” I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

  “Linc’s a jerk and I hate him and I want to move on.”

  “What did he do this time?”

  I felt sorry for her. I did. Linc was gorgeous and he knew it. He was two years older than us and lived down the street from Indie. He’d always been Indie’s knight in shining armour and looked out for her. Naturally she developed an infatuation with him. Something that she’d had since before I moved to town.

  “He’s got a date with Vanessa Parker next weekend.” She slumped onto the counter and sniffed. “Why can’t he like me?”

  “I’m sorry, Indie. I am. But maybe it’s because he’s known you for so long. You’re his best mate’s little sister—”

  “I’m not that little,” she said. “Not really.”

  “I know that but he probably sees you as a sister too. He always looks out for you.” It felt like Deja Vu. We’d had this exact conversation so many times that I’d lost count. Every time she got her hopes up that Linc had finally fallen in love with her, her dreams were crushed and Christina and I were left to pick up the pieces.

  I did hope that one day Linc would realise Indie had been in front of him the whole time.

  “I know and that’s why I need a date. A boyfriend. Anything. Just introduce me to Jayden. Call Ryder.”

  “I think he’s...”

  “I don’t care. Call him. If anyone can interrupt him, it’s you.” She glared at me.

  I sighed. I wasn’t so sure he’d want me to interrupt him but pulled out my phone searching for Ryder’s number before putting it to my ear.

  “Hello,
love.” He answered quickly, surprising me. My heart fluttered. He called me love.

  “Ah, hi,” I said, caught off guard that he was acting like normal. Maybe I had read too much into things since Friday night. Maybe he didn’t notice his effect on me. Maybe he was even better at this than I thought.

  “Miss me already?” I could hear the smirk in his voice. I looked up at Indie to see if she could hear him but I was pretty sure she couldn’t. Yes, I missed him already.

  I ignored his question. “Anyway, Indie is here and she has been bugging me all weekend about—”

  “—Meeting Jayden?” Ryder interrupted.

  “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  “I mentioned her to him yesterday at practice, which you missed by the way, and he’s been pissing me off all weekend too. Bring her to that party and I’ll bring him,” he said, reminding me that there was a huge house party at Chace’s that everyone was going to. I hated parties.

  “Oh, I wasn’t planning on going.”

  “Of course you were. You’re my girlfriend. And it is at Chace’s after all.”

  “But after Friday, I don’t really—”

  “—It will be fine. A way to piss him off even more.”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll bring her. I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing. See you tomorrow, yeah?” I asked hopefully. I heard the bell above the door of the bookstore ring. “Ryder?”

  “Yeah?” The phone hung up but I heard his voice loud and clear. Turning my head, I saw him strutting through the shelves toward us with a grin on his face. He was there.

  “Wh…what?” He stopped me from talking by leaning over the counter and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. My hands instantly threaded their way into his hair causing him to groan and allowing me to deepen the kiss. I needed to show him I was sorry for ignoring him all weekend. I felt him smile into the kiss before he eventually pulled away.

  “I missed you too, love.” He winked and turned to Indie, who was staring at us with her mouth open like a fish.

  “You can meet him at Chace’s party.” He brushed his hands through his hair trying to keep it out of his face but it didn’t help. His curls fell back down across his forehead immediately.

  “That’s two weeks away,” she whined. “ Wait! You guys are going to Chace’s party? Why?” Shock sounded through her voice.

  “It’s the party of the year, so why not?” Ryder leant on the counter, still trying to push his hair out of his face.

  “I just thought because of everything that’s happened, you guys would want to avoid it,” she said, looking confused. “And you weren’t invited.”

  “No one was invited. It’s an open invitation.” Ryder shrugged and Indie frowned. “And…that’s why we’re going. No one will expect us to. He needs to see that Bailey’s moved on and is happier with me, right?” He looked at me with a mixture of hopefulness and apology. Happier with him? Did that mean he wasn’t worried that I told Chace I was happier because of him?

  “Of course.” I smiled and hoped it didn’t look too forced or real because the truth was, I was happier and better now and it was because of Ryder and his little plan to get back at Chace for something I was still to understand. I was so confused.

  “Good.” He leant over the counter and pecked me on the lips quickly before pulling back and thoughtfully looking at my hair.

  “Can I borrow this?” He reached up and slid the elastic out of my hair before grabbing his hair and pulling it back into a small ponytail at the top of his head.

  “Uhm…” I cleared my throat. Indie’s eyes went wide as she stared at Ryder before turning to me and mouthing wow behind his back. I stifled a laugh at the expression on her face.

  “What’s wrong?” Ryder asked as he ran his fingers through my hair, working out the kinks from my ponytail.

  “Uhm, well, nothing, you just stole my hair tie, that’s all,” I replied lamely, trying not to gawk at how incredible he looked with his hair tied up like that. No guy should look that sexy with a ponytail.

  “Sorry, it was just driving me crazy. I need to cut it off.”

  “No!” Both Indie and I shouted at the same time, making us laugh and Ryder step back and look at us like we were both crazy. Maybe we were but I liked his ponytail.

  “It’s just, well...you look good with long hair. I like it.” I could feel my cheeks heat up, no doubt reddening too. Indie nodded in agreement and Ryder’s face split into a huge grin.

  “And that ponytail.” Indie trailed off. “No guy should look good with a ponytail but you manage to make it look hot,” she continued, echoing my exact thoughts. I stared at her hardly believing she had just admitted that to him.

  “Bailey, you like my ponytail too?” He turned to me with a smirk on his face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I did. I did like it.

  “Yes.” I nodded my head and he leant in close bringing his lips to my ear making me shiver when I felt his warm breath on my neck.

  “Does it turn you on?” he whispered, his voice sounding deep and husky. I gasped and pulled away from him with wide eyes. He was such a flirt. I couldn’t admit that yeah it did and if you combined that with the way his voice just sounded in my ear, then yes it definitely did. But I was beginning to think everything that boy did or said or wore was a turn on. What was wrong with me?

  “Bailey, I asked you a question.” He straightened up and stood back trying to hide the smile on his face. He just liked making me feel uncomfortable. He enjoyed it. Well, you know what? I wasn’t going to let him force me to feel like that anymore. Looking at Indie, I saw she was now engrossed in her phone not having a clue what Ryder and I were talking about.

  I stood up straight and squared my shoulders. Looking him directly in the eyes, I answered as calmly as I could.

  “Oh yeah, big time.” I winked at him and walked away from the counter feeling my insides turn to jelly. But at the same time, I felt a rush of adrenaline surge through me from being so bold and honest.

  “Bailey.” I heard him hiss. “Bailey, get back here.” He called out as I opened the door to the small kitchen to grab a glass of water. I needed to cool down. I heard footsteps behind me and turned expecting to see Ryder but it was Indie.

  “I’m gonna head out now. Gotta grab a few things for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Sure.” I waved my hand at her and turned the sink on, filling up my glass with water before draining it in a couple of mouthfuls. I was thirsty. Just as I was about to walk back out into the store, the kitchen door swung open again revealing Ryder. He was standing there with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth staring at me. The look on his face and in his eyes stopped me in my tracks immediately.

  I took a step back instinctively trying to get away from him. He crossed the threshold and closed the distance between us in three long strides. I backed up another step but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him, roughly causing me to slam into his chest. I looked up at him in shock and was met by a heated gaze, but before I could figure out whether it was fury or desire burning in his green eyes, his mouth was on mine and his tongue was pushing its way between my lips.

  Desire instantly flooded my body and I found myself clutching at his shirt trying to pull him closer. One of his hands snaked around my lower back holding me firmly against his body while the other cupped my face. His tongue was strong and forceful in my mouth and I could feel his fingers digging into my back like he was also trying to get me closer. Somehow I ended up backed against the wall with nowhere to move. Any distance between us was completely removed when Ryder’s hands slid down and gripped my thighs, lifting me up so that I had to wrap my legs tightly around his waist.

  Ryder ripped his mouth away from mine and began sucking and kissing along my jaw to my ear. “Ryder.” His name came out sounding like a moan when I felt his teeth tug on my earlobe. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. His soft lips made their way down my neck as I threw my head back. My insides once again turned to
jelly and my heart beat out of my chest, but in the best way. In an excellent way.

  “Bailey.” He breathed my name when he placed a kiss in the hollow at the bottom of my throat. My heart beat faster and heat began to pool in the bottom of my stomach.

  “You can’t say that to me and just walk off.” His voice was deep and husky again. I nodded my head so he knew I understood what he was saying. He took a step back and I had to wrap my arms around his neck so I didn’t fall backwards. Suddenly I felt the soft cushions from the small sofa in the corner of the kitchen at my back with Ryder hovering above me waiting for my reaction.

  I didn’t even know how I felt about it. I couldn’t think when he was that close to me. He clouded my judgement. My brain stopped working and he just seemed to take over my senses completely. All I saw and felt was him when he was around. His touch had a power over me that I would never understand. He made me feel calm when I was scared or nervous. He made me feel safe and wanted. He made me want. Want him. And I didn’t know what to do about that. I shouldn’t want him. It was all pretend. But there was this pull towards him that I couldn’t explain. I’d never felt it before. Certainly not with Chace.

  Ah hell, you only live once. I reached my hands up and dragged my nails through his hair pulling the elastic out and letting the curls fall around his face. Tugging on his hair, I pulled his face down to mine again but this time I did what I’d wanted to do for weeks. I gently bit his bottom lip into my mouth, letting my teeth graze and tug at it slightly, emitting a moan from Ryder.

  He lowered his weight onto me and kissed me in a way that had me gasping for breath as I continued running my fingers through his hair, pulling gently on the ends. My legs were wrapped around his hips pushing him down to me further. One of his hands supported his weight above me while the other slid under my shirt tickling along my hips and up to my ribs before brushing along the bottom of my bra.

  He’d never ventured under my clothes before and I didn’t mind in the slightest. In fact, I was quite ready to sit up and strip the damn shirt off if he didn’t do it himself soon enough. That was just the effect he had on me. More and more.