Need You (Unrequited #1)

by Charlotte J Cowan

  “Bailey, what’s wrong?” Ryder asked, sitting up and crossing his long legs in front of him.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head and twisted my hands together trying to avoid eye contact with him. I liked him and didn’t know how to behave around him now.

  “You’re very quiet.” He eyed me carefully.

  “I met your mother. She thinks I’m your girlfriend,” I blurted out.

  “Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot to tell you that.” He shrugged like it was nothing and offered no further explanation. Was he okay with her thinking this was real?

  “Come here.” He reached his hand out toward me and I looked at it suspiciously. Snap out of it, Bailey. I took slow steps toward him and allowed him to grasp my hands, letting out a yelp when he pulled on my hands making me fall forward and stumble onto the bed. He laughed as I shifted into a sitting position.

  “You’re acting weird, Bailey. Just relax. What the hell is wrong with you?” His tone was harsh and annoyed and I knew I was confusing him but I just felt out of my depth. I had no idea how to act around him or how to hide my feelings. I felt him move on the bed behind me. His large hands clasped my shoulders as his long fingers began massaging and kneading the tight muscles in my shoulders and neck. I let out a soft moan at the scorching feeling of his hands on my skin.

  “I don’t know what’s got into you but you need to fucking snap out of it,” he growled in my ear. His rough tone and soft actions contradicted each other. It was a strange but soothing combination. I liked the dominance in his voice but at the same time, loved the gentle, caring way he touched me.

  “We have a date tomorrow night. You need to be on your game, not acting nervous and shit like you are now.” He whispered harshly in my ear before pressing his teeth into the crook of my neck and sucking gently, making me completely forget about the mention of a date. A date that I didn’t remember agreeing too.

  I gasped and rolled my head back to rest on his shoulder. That was going to leave a mark. I could feel Ryder’s bare chest pressing into my back, his arms encircling my waist as he pulled me back so I was sitting on his lap. My nails dug into his wrists as he continued kissing and sucking the sensitive skin along my neck while tickling circles on my stomach.

  “Bailey.” He groaned my name. “If you don’t stop wriggling, we are going to have a problem.” His breath was warm on my neck and I didn’t even realise I had been moving.

  “Sorry.” I turned my head to look at him and saw his green eyes alight blazing into mine. My eyes dropped to his lips and watched as they parted instinctively when he dragged his tongue across the bottom one before pulling the stud into his mouth. He cleared his throat.

  “Ah, we should probably stop now.” His voice was gravelly and husky. I dropped my eyes to my lap before pushing off him and moving to the other side of his bed putting distance between us.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. Even though I knew he was right, we had to stop before things went too far, I couldn’t help but feel hurt and rejected. Bloody Indie making me realise my feelings just made everything worse.

  “Don’t be sorry,” he said. I kept my eyes down. I didn’t want him to see the hurt that I was sure was evident in them.

  “Bailey, look at me.” He crawled over the bed to me and tilted my face up so I had to look at him.

  “I’m sorry. When I’m with you I lose all sense of right or wrong. You make me lose control and I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you.” I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say or whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, so I just nodded my head slowly wishing that he would change the subject.

  “Believe me when I say I didn’t want to stop then. I want to lose control with you but I know that it’s not right. You’re not one of those girls and I don’t want you to become one.” He pressed his lips to mine briefly. I stared at him for a moment, frozen. I tried to take in everything he had just said but I was just more confused than before.

  “I got you something,” he said, thankfully changing the subject.

  “You did? Why?” I raised my eyebrow at him, wondering what he’d got me and why. He grinned and lay down on his stomach to reach under the bed. He pulled out a small package neatly wrapped in purple paper.

  “Open it,” he said, handing it to me with wide eyes.

  “Ryder, you shouldn’t have got me anything. I can’t accept this.” I tried to hand it back.

  “Open the damn gift, Bailey.” He snapped at me before softly adding a please and [AL18] gently kissing my cheek.

  I peeled off the paper quickly and carefully trying not to make him any angrier. I saw a small velvet box. I looked at him with wide eyes. He nodded his head in encouragement, so I lifted the lid and gasped at what I saw.

  “Ryder, this is too much. Why?” I asked, eyeing the beautiful charm bracelet lying delicately on purple silk inside the box.

  “Do you like it?” he asked, ignoring my previous question.

  “Yes, it’s beautiful but—”

  “—But nothing. It’s yours. Be grateful and wear it.” He took it from the box before gently clasping it around my wrist.

  “The charms, they’re—” I started to ask about the charms he’d chosen.

  “They’re all things we’ve done together. Rides to school together,” he said, pointing out the car. “Eating at the diner.” He indicated to the hamburger before moving to a ladder. “Climbing the water tower.”

  “Hanging out at the bookstore,” I said, when his fingers brushed the small book charm.

  “Yes, and making out at the drive-in.” He grinned, turning the bracelet slightly so I could see the little movie reel.

  “And finally, celebrating your eighteenth birthday,” he said, lifting the silk in the box to reveal an eighteen charm. I gasped and stared at him in surprise.

  “Happy Birthday, Bailey,” he whispered. He hooked the charm onto my bracelet. He knew it was my birthday. How? I was just about to ask him when he pressed his lips to mine making me forget all about my birthday.

  XVI.

  My days were filled. I don’t think I had been this busy ever. Every day I had something to do. It was weird considering I’d always been a loner, even when I was friends with Christina and dating Chace. But it was good. I loved having things to occupy my time. I spent my afternoons at the bookstore and my evenings watching movies with Indie or having dinner at the roadhouse with Ryder. He actually cooked for me again a few nights ago. And he wasn’t lying about his being the best burgers in the state. I could have eaten a second one it was so good. But then Indie’s warnings over the past week about not eating too much rubbish so we could still fit into our outfits for Chace’s party came back to haunt me and I refrained from a second helping.

  My mother burst through my bedroom door with a scowl on her face moving straight for my stereo. It was blasting some of her classic nineties rock, which always put me in the mood to party.

  “Bailey, sweetheart. I know you love listening to my old music but do you need to play it so loud? The house is trembling. How can you girls even hear yourselves think?” She was rubbing her temples as she turned to face Indie and me sitting on the floor in front of the mirror playing with my curling iron and hair straightener.

  “We don’t need to think, Mrs M. We are going to a party. We just have to look good,” Indie replied smiling brightly.

  “I know. That’s why I’m up here. Do you need a lift to the party?”

  “No, thanks. We’ve got a ride,” I replied, curling the last tendril of hair so that I had long waves cascading down my back.

  “Oh good. Is Ryder picking you up?” she asked, failing to hide her smile.

  “Yes.” I nodded my head and lifted my hair up, scrunching it into a bun on top of my head while looking in the mirror to see whether it would look better up.

  “Things seem to be going well between you,” she commented. “Hair up, sweetheart,” she added, nodding in my direction.

  “Ah yeah, things are great. Thanks.”


  Indie scoffed and turned her attention back to her hair when I glared at her.

  “What, Indie?” my mother asked, amusement tainting her voice.

  “Things aren’t just perfect. They are totally in love with each but don’t realise it.” Indie giggled while I grabbed an elastic and some bobby pins to secure my messy bun in place.

  “There.” I smiled, satisfied with how it looked before turning to Indie.

  “We are not.”

  “I didn’t know things were that serious between you guys.” My mother looked at me with a small frown on her face. “I thought you’d only just started dating.” Confusion replaced her frown while I tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t give away the fact we weren’t even in a relationship.

  “Ah well. They have but it’s been a long time coming. They’ve been hanging out as friends and I’m just teasing her, Mrs M. I’m just happy she’s finally over Chace.” Indie stepped in realising that my mother knew nothing. I smiled gratefully at her.

  “Speaking of Chace,” I said, “we need to finish getting ready for his party or Ryder will be waiting forever.”

  “Ryder’s not here yet.” Indie looked at me like I was crazy.

  “Yes, he is.” I smiled and right on cue, the doorbell rang. Both Indie and my mother looked at me questioningly.

  “I heard his car.” I shrugged and added a swipe of mascara to my khol lined eyes.

  “I’ll get it,” Indie announced, jumping up from her position on the floor beside me and bouncing out of the room.

  “You’re going to a party at Chace’s house?” my mother asked as soon as Indie could be heard running down the stairs. “Is that wise?”

  “It’s just a party. He has one every year. The whole senior class will be there. It’s fine. I’m over him.” I stood and walked over to her placing my hands on her shoulders.

  “So why are you going?” she asked.

  “I promised to introduce Indie to a friend of Ryder’s,” I said, before picking up my bright orange skirt and black sleeveless shirt. “I need to get dressed now, though,” I told my mother so she would leave.

  “Okay, I’ll wait downstairs with Ryder and send Indie back up. Just be careful tonight, all right.” She kissed my forehead and left me to get dressed. I was just tucking my shirt into the high waist of my skirt when Indie fell through the door.

  “What did you do?” I laughed at her.

  “I fell. I was running too fast and miscalculated the distance it would take me to stop.” She laughed and pulled her dress off over her head so she could put on her party outfit too. “You need a belt,” she told me as she slid her shorts on. I grabbed a thick black belt with a large silver buckle from my closet and secured it around my waist before pushing my new cut-out black ankle boots on. I turned to see Indie pulling her oversized knitted sweater on. As soon as her shoes were on, we were ready to go.

  I started feeling nervous as we descended the stairs. When I left Ryder’s on my birthday, things were a little strained. I felt like there was so much we’d left unresolved. I’d come home more confused than before. I still didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling, or if he felt anything like Indie believed. But he knew about my birthday and each time we kissed, he would stop it, making up some excuse about not wanting me to be one of those girls. But then it would only last a short while before we would begin making out again. I guess I’d just have to wait and see how things panned out.

  We stepped into the living room where my mother was happily chatting away to Ryder. They were laughing at something but both suddenly became quiet when they realised we were there. Ryder’s mouth popped open and his eyes went wide as my mother rushed over to us.

  “Oh girls, you look lovely. I love the new outfits. Perfect for your party.”

  “Thanks, Mrs M.” Indie grinned and did a little spin that I barely noticed because I was too focused on Ryder, who was walking slowly toward me in his skinny jeans and button-up white shirt that was only buttoned halfway, revealing his toned chest. He was pinching his bottom lip between his fingers while his eyes travelled up and down my body. So hot.

  “You look beautiful, Bailey,” he whispered when he stopped in front of me, grasping my hip with one hand and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. That action alone, which he had done numerous times before, made my knees go weak and I stumbled slightly. A movement that did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room. Avoiding their gazes and smirks, I put my head down, feeling a blush creeping onto my cheeks.

  “Ready?” Ryder asked, taking my hand in his and smiling at my charm bracelet when I nodded my head, not trusting my voice to speak. My mother’s eyes flickered to our joined hands for a minute before a grin spread across her face.

  “Have fun, you three,” she said, as she walked us to the door.

  “Bye, Mrs M. Don’t wait up.” Indie winked.

  “Bye, Mrs Mitchell.” Ryder smiled at her. I could have sworn I saw her swoon before she pulled me away from his grasp so she could whisper in my ear.

  “Be safe, sweetheart.” She discreetly nodded her head in Ryder’s direction and wiggled her eyebrows at me. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open in shock when I realised the meaning of her words. I mean, I knew she was relaxed with rules and stuff but...

  “What? No, not even…it’s not…” I shook my head at her, still surprised by what she had said. “Just no.”

  “Oh well, I’m happy you’re taking it slow but really? How much longer can you resist that?” She tried hiding her smile behind her hand as she and shrugged her shoulders at me. I glanced at Ryder, who was waiting on the bottom step for me. I hoped he couldn’t hear what she was saying.

  “Oh my God!” I slapped my hand to my forehead. “I can’t believe you said that.” I started laughing at how incredibly abnormal my mother was. How many other girl’s parents would imply their teenage daughters should be having sex with their pierced and tattooed boyfriends? None. That’s how many. There was something wrong with my mother. I would need to have a chat with her I think.

  “Hey, I was young once too. Though I didn’t know any boys that looked like Ryder. All I’m saying is that I can’t stop you. You’re old enough to make your own decisions but just be careful, okay,” she said seriously.

  “Goodbye, Mother,” I said firmly, kissing her cheek and walking out the door, not wanting to acknowledge that extremely uncomfortable conversation.

  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She laughed and waved us off.

  “What was that about?” Indie asked when I slid into the front seat beside Ryder.

  “Uhm, nothing. Just her being her.” I could feel the blood rushing to my face in embarrassment. I was relieved when Indie just shrugged her shoulders and started singing along to the radio and not questioning me any further. I turned to Ryder, who was being silent. I noticed he had a death grip on the steering wheel and his jaw was clenched tight. Something was wrong with him.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he replied, his voice clipped and short. Something was wrong.

  Feeling confident, I reached out and placed my hand on his knee but quickly pulled it back when he glanced down at it then looked away. Maybe he didn’t want me to touch him, although I wasn’t sure why. He always held my hand while driving, so either me or something else was bothering him.

  “You sure? You seem kin—”

  “—Yes, Bailey. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong.” He cut me off and turned the music up, putting an end to any chance of a conversation we might have had.

  Sighing in defeat, I turned and looked out the window to try to figure out what could have happened in the past few minutes to make him so mad. He seemed fine at the house when he told me I looked beautiful before me kissing me. He even took my hand to lead me. Something must have happened while I was talking with my mother.

  Ryder parked his car on the street just a little way down from Chace’s house and got out. Indie and
I practically had to run to catch up with him as he made his way to the party without waiting for us.

  “What’s up with him?” Indie whispered in my ear as we rushed down the street after him.

  “I wish I knew.”

  His shoulders were tense and his hands were shoved in his pockets like he was closing himself off from everyone. I started to wonder whether he was having second thoughts about this whole fake relationship. Maybe he was sick of me. Or maybe he was missing being able to sleep around like he used to. This was probably the longest he’d ever gone without sex and it was probably getting to him now.

  I cautiously reached out and linked my arm through his. I was relieved that he didn’t pull away but at the same time, I was disappointed that he didn’t make a move to touch me at all. He just kept his hands in his pockets.

  Ryder pushed the door open and gestured for Indie and I to walk in first. I followed Indie, who immediately pushed her way through the people crowding around the entrance to the living room.

  “I’m getting a drink. You want one?” Ryder asked us.

  “Coke, please.” I smiled at him.

  “Coke?” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

  “Yes, Coke.” I didn’t feel like drinking anymore. In fact, with Ryder being in whatever mood he was in, I just wanted to go home. He nodded his head and frowned slightly before turning to Indie, who asked for a beer. I was a little caught off guard when a few of the girls that I used to be friends with came over and started talking to us, complimenting our outfits and hair. It was weird. I hadn’t spoken a word to these girls in months. They were all still friends with Chace and Christina.

  Ryder returned a few minutes later with Jayden following behind him. The girls quickly disappeared. I didn’t even realise Jayden was there yet but I immediately greeted him before turning to Ryder and accepting my drink.