Need You (Unrequited #1)

by Charlotte J Cowan

  “Ryder,” I murmured in his ear while gently shaking his shoulder. He didn’t budge.

  “Ryder,” I called louder. “Wake up.” He still didn’t move.

  I shook him harder but all it accomplished was him rolling over to the centre of my bed. I tried again but he wouldn’t wake up. He must have been really exhausted.

  I hoped that whatever he was dealing with and whoever it involved appreciated it. I tried one last time by leaning down and pressing my lips to his. I felt his mouth twitch slightly and thought that I may have succeeded but that was it—just a twitch. He didn’t kiss me back because he was still fast asleep.

  Not wanting to miss school, I sent a quick text to Indie asking her to pick me up. I left a note for Ryder beside the bed.

  Ryder,

  Couldn’t wake you up in time for school. You looked like you could use the sleep anyway. Stay as long as you like.

  Call me later.

  Bailey x

  I made my way downstairs and waited for Indie. She pulled up a minute later giving me a confused look and pointing at Ryder’s car.

  “Why am I picking you up when lover boy’s car is here?” she asked as soon as I opened the door. No hello or anything.

  “Good morning, Indiana. How are you today?” I asked sarcastically. She hated being called by her full name.

  “Urgh, don’t. Hi, Bailey. I’m good. How are you? Now how about you tell me why I am picking you when your delicious boyfriend’s car is on your drive?”

  “He’s asleep,” I said, turning on the radio as we headed toward school.

  “Oh, okay. Wait! What? He’s asleep where?” She looked at me from the corner of her eye as she still tried to concentrate on the road.

  “In my bed.” I shook my head at her. Where else would he be if his car was at my place?

  “Oh! My! God! You guys spent the night again!” She squealed while clapping her hands on the steering wheel. “So you did it, huh?” she asked, not that she needed to say what she was really thinking.

  “Yes but he didn’t spend the night. I know my mother is pretty relaxed but I doubt she would let him stay all night.” Although judging by my mother’s reaction to his presence this morning, I could have been completely wrong.

  “So what is he doing asleep in your bed if he didn’t stay the night?” she asked, pulling into the school the parking lot. I didn’t even realise we were there already. Indie drove too fast sometimes.

  “He came around this morning to take me out for breakfast but we never actually made it.” I smiled at her, waiting for her to catch on.

  “Oh, okay. Obviously cos he fell asleep,” she said, walking ahead of me toward the doors. I waited for it. The moment when it clicked.

  “Oh, wait! You just did it then too, didn’t you?” She practically shouted turning around to face me before quietly adding, “You have just had sex before school.”

  I nodded my head in response and felt my cheeks warming, although I didn’t know why. I wasn’t embarrassed about it. I didn’t care that she knew what Ryder and I were doing earlier that morning. It was good to have a friend I could talk to. One I could trust. I never felt that way with Christina. I wonder why. Maybe because she was a lying, backstabbing, little b—.

  “I can’t believe it. What was it like? I want all the details,” she demanded, linking her arm through mine and towing me toward our lockers.

  Amazing,” I told her, laughing as she shrieked with excitement. I then tried to steer the conversation away from me. “How about you tell me about Linc and Prom?” I asked.

  “Oh, Bailey. It was great. Magical. Best night ever! We just talked and ate and danced and just had an excellent time together. He asked if I’m going to have a birthday party before I leave for uni. He remembered my birthday!” She was beaming.

  “And are you having a party?”

  “Do you want to see Ryder’s mighty fine naked body again?” She countered. Before I could respond with a Duh, obviously, she continued speaking. “Hell yes, I’m having a party. And Linc will be my guest of honour.”

  I started laughing at her enthusiasm and quickly grabbed my books from my locker. Indie continued talking all the way to my homeroom about how perfect Linc was and that she thought he was finally noticing her.

  “I’ll see you later on. We’ll do lunch,” she said, like it was some big plan and not something we did every day. She smiled and skipped off toward her homeroom.

  “Congrats, Bailey.” I heard a small voice and turned to see Lenora, the young girl Christina had poured her drink over in the corridor.

  “Uh, thank you.” I smiled at her, not really sure what she was congratulating me on.

  “I told you she’d pay.” Lenora clapped her hands together and giggled. “My sister’s on the prom committee. When she found out what Christina did to me that day and that you helped me, she was on a mission make sure everyone knew about it. She put your name in the running for Prom Queen.” She clapped her hands again.

  Well, that explains how I managed to get nominated but what about Ryder? Did she put him in the running too?

  “Oh right, I wondered how that’d happened?”

  “Yes, well, I just wanted to say thank you and congratulations. See you later.” And with that, she was off, running down the corridor.

  But I couldn’t understand why anyone voted for me. I mean, it was Christina’s crown. It has always been meant for her. It was either rigged for Ryder and me to win, or people really were starting to see what Chace and Christina were like.

  I turned and headed for homeroom, trying not to think too much about the crown and to just be happy that the students liked me more than they liked Christina. Dammit. Ryder wasn’t there. I had to face Chace and Christina alone again after everyone already seeing Ryder’s return at Prom and us winning the crowns. I walked into the classroom not making eye contact with anyone in particular and trying my best not to look affected by all the sudden stares in my direction. What now?

  “No Ryder today?” Christina’s voice asked from behind me when I took my seat. She sounded absolutely gleeful. What was she up to? She had to be up to something.

  “No, not today.” I answered without looking at her.

  “But didn’t he rush home just to take you to prom?” I didn’t have to look at her to know she was smirking.

  “Whatever, Christina. He’s home, I saw him, and now he’s sleeping. It’s none of your business.” I snapped at her, briefly glaring over my shoulder at her. She was enraged. There was steam coming out of her ears.

  “Tired because he was out all night with another girl?” She said in a sing-song voice. She just couldn’t help herself. She had to get on my nerves. Geez, she’s such a bitch.

  “No, he wasn’t. He was at my place last night,” I told her, feeling my blood begin to boil. Would I get into much trouble if I punched her in the face? Oh damn! I had definitely been spending too much time with Ryder.

  “All night?” She raised her eyebrow at me in disbelief.

  “Yes, all ni…” I started to speak but stopped when I remembered he wasn’t with me all night. He had left just before dinner to deal with something and didn’t come back until this morning.

  “That’s a lie and you know it.” Christina smiled a delighted smile. Her eyes lit up and she turned to whispers in Chace’s ear.

  I watched their exchange trying to work out what sort of game she was playing. It had to be a game. She was just trying to get under my skin. Ryder wouldn’t spend the night with another girl before crawling into my bed in the morning. Would he? Chace visibly paled as he listened to whatever Christina was telling him.

  “Ryder wasn’t with you last night. I saw him walking down the street with another girl. A tall blonde. Looked pretty cosy too with his arm around her.” She started laughing while Chace buried his face in his hands not saying a word.

  “Whatever, Christina. Just because you didn’t get crowned Prom Queen doesn’t mean you need to create drama
in someone else’s life. Just stay away from me. I don’t need your petty jealousy.” I hissed at her and grabbed my bag. I walked out of the room ignoring the teacher’s calls to return immediately and ran down the hallway and outside. I was trying not to overreact or believe a word Christina had just said but it was hard when I knew Ryder had left me last night.

  I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. I had to let him explain where he was. Let him tell me the truth. As much as it would hurt to hear that he was with another girl, I couldn’t get mad or upset at him because we weren’t together. I told him at the start to let me know if he wanted to see other girls and we’d call the whole thing off.

  I needed to speak to him.

  XXIII.

  I didn’t really know what I was doing. I didn’t think it through. I just left school. I walked right out the building and through the gates. My house wasn’t really in walking distance. Well, it was but it was a long walk. I should have stayed at school until the end of the day so I could have gone home with Indie. Or maybe Ryder would have shown up.

  Ryder.

  That’s what I was doing. I had to speak to him. I wasn’t thinking about anything else other than talking to him. I needed to find out the truth from Ryder. I really hoped Christina was wrong because I was starting to think that Ryder might actually care about me. But if he was seeing another girl, there really wasn’t anything I could do about that. We weren’t together. This whole thing was a charade that had got out of control. He had every right to see other girls. I just wished he wouldn’t want to. I wanted to be enough.

  Who was I kidding? He was Ryder freaking Jones. He didn’t commit. He had a string of girls following him around everywhere trying to get his attention. Well, at least until our relationship became public knowledge anyway.

  I couldn’t help but think that maybe Christina was telling the truth, though. He did walk out on me before dinner last night with the weak excuse that he had something to take care of. And he was out late. He admitted that much. He was with another girl. He had to have been.

  I didn’t notice the car that had slowed down beside me and I didn’t realise I was crying until I heard his voice.

  “Bailey, what’s wrong? Don’t cry. Come on. Let me take you home.”

  I stopped walking and tried to wipe away the tears but they just wouldn’t stop. The more I wiped, the more they fell.

  I snapped at him and kept walking. “Leave me alone, Chace. Go back to Christina.” He got out of the car and ran to catch up with me, apparently not taking the hint. He was the last person I wanted to see.

  “Let me drive you home. You’re upset. You shouldn’t be walking alone.” He looked up at the sky. “A storm is coming. You’ll get sick.”

  “Like you care.”

  “I do care. You have to believe that. Why do you think I am here chasing after you and not in class with Christina?” I stopped to look at him. He had his hands in his pockets and he was looking at his feet, almost like he was nervous. Why is he here with me?

  “I don’t know. Some sort messed up game you two are playing. Go back to Christina.”

  “No. I’m going to make sure you get home okay. Christina can wait. I’m pissed at her for that little stunt she just pulled. She had no right to drop it on you like that. Let me take you home.” What the hell happened? Today started out great but now it sucked.

  “Fine.” I agreed to a lift home but only because the rain was already soaking me through and I didn’t have a jacket. Plus, the sooner I got home, the sooner I could find Ryder and talk to him. I climbed into Chace’s car without caring at all that I was dripping water all over his expensive leather seats. He used to berate me for that all the time but he wisely chose not to say anything this time.

  We drove in silence for a while, the car slowly defrosting me as it heated up. It didn’t help much but at least I wasn’t shivering anymore.

  “Look, I know you think I am a jerk—” Chace started to say but I cut him off by laughing.

  “No, Chace. I don’t think you’re a jerk.” He glanced at me looking surprised. “I know you’re an asshole.” I finished speaking and turned to stare out the window. Wow! I had wanted to say that to him for so long.

  “I deserve that but I want you to know I’m sorry for how everything happened but Ryder? You could have had any guy in the school and you chose Ryder. He’s just not right for you.”

  “You can’t tell me who or what is right for me, Chace. Once upon a time I thought you were good for me. I was wrong there. Ryder isn’t as bad as everyone thinks. It’s mostly all talk.”

  “All talk? Then why did Christina see him with another girl and a k—” He stopped suddenly, realising what he was saying and that he was saying too much.

  “And a what, Chace?” I turned in my seat to ask him.

  “A nothing. Just another girl.” He tried to backtrack but I could see right through him.

  “Chace?” I demanded again, watching him close his eyes briefly before returning them to the road. Why was this drive taking so long?

  “A kid, Bailey. Christina saw him playing happy families with another girl and a little boy.” I felt my heart drop and my throat tighten like I wasn’t getting any air.

  “A…a…a kid?” I stuttered. No, it wasn’t possible, was it? He was only eighteen. How could he have a kid that no one knew about?

  “Yeah a baby, you know, a year or two old or something.”

  “No, you’re wrong. She’s wrong. She’s making stuff up.” I tried to come up with any excuse as to why it wasn’t possible but in all honesty, it was entirely possible. Ryder wasn’t exactly celibate.

  “Think about it, Bailey. You remember he disappeared from school for a few months a couple years back. Came back an entirely different person.” That jogged my memory. Ryder wasn’t always the bad boy. He did leave and come back. I remembered all the rumours about why he’d gone but none of them were about having a kid. Oh, this was all too confusing. I buried my head in my lap tried to make sense of everything.

  “What’s his car doing here?” Chace hissed beside me after a while. I looked up to see that we were in my driveway.

  “He’s asleep,” I said as I climbed out of the car, wincing when I heard the overhead clap of thunder. I didn’t say goodbye or thank him at all. He didn’t deserve my gratitude. As I made my way across the lawn to the door, it opened suddenly and Ryder came charging out.

  “What the hell are you doing with him, Bailey?” Ryder growled and turned to face Chace, who had now stepped out of the car. Great. Just great.

  “He was just giving me a lift home, Ryder. It’s okay. Relax.” I tried to defuse the situation before it exploded in front of me.

  “Relax? You shouldn’t be anywhere near him. You can’t trust him,” he yelled at me, taking a step closer to Chace.

  “And she can trust you?” Chace shouted at him. “I know why you’re doing this. Why don’t you leave Bailey out of it?”

  Doing what? Leave me out of what? Before I could ask what the hell Chace was talking about, Ryder’s fist connected with Chace’s cheek with a resounding crack. Chace stumbled backwards momentarily before lunging forward and knocking Ryder to the ground. I called out to them to stop but they either ignored me or couldn’t hear me through the rain and thunder, which seemed to be getting heavier and heavier.

  After about five minutes of me shouting and them rolling around in the grass trying to get in as many hits on each other as possible, I gave up and slumped down onto the ground. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I buried my head between them and let the tears fall. I had no idea what was going on anymore. There was clearly some bad history between Ryder and Chace that I was completely unaware of and it was beginning to look like I was just a stupid pawn in their game.

  I don’t know how long they fought for or how long I sat in the rain but I eventually felt cold fingertips running through my hair. I looked up to see Ryder’s undeniably gorgeous green eyes staring back at mine with wor
ry.

  “Bailey, you’re turning blue. You are going to get hypothermia. Come on. Let’s get you inside and warmed up.” He cupped my cheek and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

  “Do you have a child with another girl?” I asked without even thinking. Well, there went my plan to ease into the conversation. Oh well. It was out it the open at least.

  “Bailey, come on. Let’s go inside, please. You will freeze if you stay out here any longer.” He tried to get me to stand up but I wouldn’t move. Not until he answered my question.

  “Answer the question, Ryder,” I yelled at him, tears streaming down my face once again. I was thankful for the cold rain now because my tears just blended into icy drops biting into my skin.

  “Bailey, please?” He crouched down in front of me pleading for me to get up. “I will answer every damn question you have once I get you inside and warmed up again. Not before.”

  I still didn’t move. I knew I was childish and stubborn but I think I had the right. It seemed as though everyone had been lying to me about one thing or another. I screamed when I felt Ryder’s cold hands grasp my waist and lift me up. He carried me into the house bridal style. I expected him to put me down once we got inside but he didn’t. He continued up the stairs to my room, setting me down in my computer chair.

  “Blankets and towels?” he asked. I looked at him wondering why he needed them. We were inside now. It wasn’t so cold.

  “Bailey! Blankets and towels! Where the hell are they?” he shouted at me. Why was he getting angry with me? I should be the one who was angry.

  “C...c…cup…cupboard in in the h…h…ha…hall.” My teeth were chattering and I could no longer feel my hands and feet. I was warmer in the rain. Ryder ran out the door and returned a minute later with his arms full of towels and blankets.