Blizzard: (The Brotherhood Journals Book One)

by Jane, Addison

  “All right girl, let’s see your moves!” she called as she walked back down the stairs and took a seat directly in front of the stage.

  I took a deep breath, my mind was telling me to run. This was fucking stupid. Why did I think this was a good idea? But then I reminded myself that I’d put these people through hell and a little self-embarrassment was never going to make up for what I did to them, so I needed to just suck it up.

  The bass was deep and full as it pounded through the large speakers. I could feel it in my chest, almost knocking the wind from my lungs. My body moved slowly to begin with, swaying my hips side to side as my sweaty hand gripped the pole beside me.

  I walked around the pole, twirling and moving my free hand up the side of my body until it was over my head. I dropped down in front of the pole, splitting my legs open for only a second before slowly shimmying back up the pole. I felt the music, felt the words of the song. The faster it moved, the faster I twisted and turned.

  At this stage my eyes were closed. There was no one else there but me, my body acting out the pain and angst within the song. I flipped my long hair, running my fingers through it and biting on my lip.

  It was a strange feeling, almost empowering like I was telling a story with my movements.

  Suddenly it was over, the music was ended and there was complete silence.

  I was breathing hard, not realizing how much of a work out it was that these girls do every night. No wonder strippers like Kat had such killer powerful bodies.

  “Holy shit.” My eyes shot open at the sound of Kat’s voice. I found her staring at me with the biggest smile on her face.

  I couldn’t help but blush. I’d danced in nightclubs before but there were people all around you, moving and swaying in a big sweaty group. Nobody noticed if you couldn’t dance.

  She started clapping, the noise filling the room which was eerily quiet. I gave her a shy smile and giggled as I curtsied and shuffled myself to the edge where she was now standing. I crossed my legs and took a seat in front of her. “So?” I asked, still breathless.

  “That was so sexy,” she exclaimed. “There’s a few things we could work on, like you needing to keep your eyes open. If you’re trying to attract a guy in particular, then he needs to think that you’re dancing for him and only him. He needs to feel that connection to you or else you’re just another girl on a stage shaking her ass.”

  I nodded, taking in all of what she was saying. My heart raced.

  This could actually work. I could do this.

  “So you liked it?” I couldn’t help the excited tone in my voice.

  Kat smirked back at me. “What’s more important is that he liked it.” She pointed to the front doors of the club.

  I inhaled quickly, his eyes bore into me. They were filled with heat. Blizzard never failed to make my body fill with fire. Just his eyes could light me up in a second and turn my body to a pile of ashes. He and another brother stood just inside the doors, staring at me. The other guy had a large grin on his face. I saw his mouth move as he spoke quietly to Blizzard, but neither of their eyes left me. Blizzard nodded his head before he turned and slammed at the door, forcing it open with a loud bang which made me jump. The other brother just winked at me before turning and leaving out the door a little more subtly.

  A shudder shot through me. What I would do to be inside Blizzard’s head at that moment, to know what he was thinking. I imagine it was full of resentment and dark thoughts, but just seeing his eyes on me for a moment I had felt something else. Need.

  Kat cleared her throat, bringing my mind out of its haze. “He’s been a grumpy bastard for the last few months. The way he watched you… I’m going to safely assume you had a part in that.” She didn’t say it with venom or disgust like I would have thought.

  “You could say that.” I sighed sadly.

  Reaching out and patting my arm she gave me a soft smile. “I guess we have more than one person we need to attract attention from then. I know exactly what we need.” I was surprised. I thought hurting one of their precious men would cause them all to hate me. She laughed, obviously seeing the look on my face. “Honey, we all make mistakes. It’s up to us whether we just accept what’s happened and move on, or if we fight for what we want.”

  I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was speaking from experience. It was nice for once not to feel disgust or pity, but empathy.

  I held my shoulders back and took a deep breath. “All right, what do I need to do?”

  She smiled, showing me all her perfect teeth and holding out her hand. “Let’s work on your act, then we can pick an outfit that’s going to blow every man out of the water.”

  I took her hand and she pulled me up.

  “I’m ready.”

  Watching her up on that stage was enough to make any man weak at the knees.

  I thought this was a good plan, she dances, attracts our guy, we get the info we need and done deal.

  But now I was having second thoughts.

  The way she moved her body was sexy, it would draw any man in and not just for a look. He would want to touch her, to have her, just like I did. And the thought of that made me want to punch someone.

  “Didn’t know the girl had it in her,” Wrench commented casually as he followed me outside. He lit up a cigarette and leaned against the brick wall.

  I did.

  I’d gone to her room the other day for what reason, I had no fucking idea. But the minute I saw her, everything else went out the fucking window and the need to have her body pressed up against mine took over.

  Her smell, the feel of her skin—I remembered it all. I’d dreamed of it before and the reality did not disappoint. But when she was done and had fallen asleep on me I’d set her down and walked out. Like a fucking pussy. I’d run, knowing she would want to talk, hash things out and discuss our feelings. I wasn’t fucking ready for that.

  I’d been angry, yeah, it was a pathetic excuse but it was the best one I had. My dad had spent my life blaming me for my mother leaving when the truth was, she could have been in my life this whole time. It struck me harder than I could have imagined. He’d done that, he’d taken away years, he’d stolen the opportunity for me to get to know my sister. And while I ended up with some amazing people in my life—people who had made me the man I was today—I missed out on having a mother.

  “You think she’s gonna pull this shit off?” The question wiped my daze and I looked over at my brother.

  I shrugged. “She’s pulled off bigger.”

  Blowing out a plume of smoke, he rolled his eyes. “When are you going to get over this shit? Her dad spent months, torturing her, beating the crap out of her, blackmailing her. She was a victim, just like we were.”

  “But I didn’t fucking see it,” I growled loudly, throwing my head back. I took a couple of deep breaths. “The times we spent together, I completely fucking missed it all because she seemed okay. She was strong and feisty and happy.” I stomped back and forth in front of him. “It was all fake, though.”

  “Maybe it wasn’t fake,” he offered. “Maybe when she was with you that was her chance to be real. Maybe you were her escape from the hell she was enduring.”

  Wrench stared out into the carpark, seemingly lost in his words.

  What he’d said made sense. When Rose was with me, she always seemed to smile. She was a different person, a girl I only caught small glimpses of now.

  I knocked on the door, tapping my foot impatiently.

  With Sugar and Harlyn arriving at the Clubhouse this morning, I just knew shit was about to get a little crazy. Chelsea was going to lose her mind so I was opting to keep out of that mess.

  When no response came from inside, I knocked again.

  I knew she was there. I’d seen movement in the curtains after I’d pulled up on my bike.

  “Know you’re in there, Rose,” I called loudly.

  “Go away, Blizzard.” The voice came from just the other side of the do
or.

  “You’ve got two options,” I told her. “Open it and let me in, or I put a bullet through the lock.”

  I was met with silence for a full minute before the door creaked open just a few inches. “What do you want, Blizzard?” Despite it being morning, her apartment was still in darkness. All the curtains were closed and there were no lights on.

  “Well, since I gave you a ride home last night, I thought you could make me a coffee as thanks.” I pressed my hand against the door and pushed, there was a little resistance from her but not enough to keep me out. She stepped back as I moved through the doorway. I noticed then all she was wearing was a pair of short cotton shorts and a baggy tank top. She held her arms across her chest, and her hair fell over her face as she looked down at the floor.

  “I’ll get dressed,” she said sharply, turning and stomping down the hall. I smirked as my eyes followed her ass. It swung perfectly back and forth, making me feel like I was being put under some kind of hypnotic spell.

  As soon as she disappeared from sight with a slam of a door, I turned and shut the front door behind me, toeing off my heavy boots at the door.

  I screwed up my nose at the darkness and began opening curtains. The place was tidy, not a single thing seemed out of place, almost like she was never here to make a mess. There were a couple of pictures on the wall and I made my way over to them.

  I could recognize her instantly, even though she looked much younger. Her smile was bright as she wrapped her arms around an older woman, who by the resemblance, I noted must have been her mom.

  I heard footsteps behind me. “Why are there no pictures of you with your dad?” I asked without turning around.

  I heard a quiet scoff. “He’s not exactly the stand and smile for a picture type of guy.”

  “Mine either.”

  I turned and followed her as she walked into the kitchen, her body now covered by a dark blue summery dress that hit just above her knee. I just stared as she reached up into a high cupboard, digging around and pulling out coffee cups. Her dress raised up and I licked my lips. Her skin was a light caramel color that you could tell was natural and not the result of a tan, and I figured she had some foreign blood in her.

  “How do you want your coffee?”

  “Dark, smooth and sweet,” I told her, my voice low as I moved closer to the kitchen. I caught the small shudder that ran through her body before she straightened her shoulders again and moved on.

  She kept herself busy even as I moved around the small kitchen table to stand almost directly behind her. I wasn’t sure if she simply had her mind elsewhere and didn’t notice me, or if she was purposely trying to ignore my advances.

  That’s okay, baby. More fun for me.

  I pressed my chest against her back and placed my hand on her waist. She startled and tried to spin but I held her in place, pushing my hips against her and holding her against the kitchen counter.

  “Blizzard,” she whispered quietly.

  “Baby?” I answered, dipping my head so my mouth was brushing against her delicate ear. “This not okay with you?”

  She knew I wanted her, I’d told her in so many words last night.

  “You’re going to have to do more than press your cock against my ass if you think you’re going to get in my pants.” Her voice was raw and dripping with anticipation despite her words.

  I chuckled softly in her ear. “You ain’t wearing any pants, baby.”

  “No, but I’ve got chastity belt on and that shit is locked up tighter than Fort Knox,” she shot back.

  I couldn't help the laughter that came. I loved this shit. Club girls were great, they were there to scratch a brother’s itch, but there was nothing like the chase of something new and different.

  I took a step back, giving her a little space to move. “You’re one of a kind, you know that?” I pulled out a chair at her table and took a seat.

  When she turned, the smile that lit up her face almost floored me. It was fucking amazing. Like watching a flower bloom for the first time. I knew in that moment that I would do whatever I possibly could to see that smile on her face from now on. I was going to make it my mission to make this woman happy, because if I never got to see that smile again, my life wasn’t worth fucking living.

  “Brother!” The nudge in my ribs made me want to put my fist through Wrench’s face.

  “What?” I snapped, shoving him away.

  He laughed. “Sorry to disturb your little daydream, you pansy fucker. But sounds like your mom’s crew is heading our way.”

  The rumble of bikes filled the air. There were no other clubs in the nearby towns or cities and you learned fast the sound of your own men’s rides. We all drove different types of bikes, they all had a different tone, a distinctive rumble.

  I watched as they pulled into the small parking lot. You had to use a small back alley to get to X-Rated. It was part of the attraction, knowing that if you came here that your vehicles were hidden from the view of people just passing by. Men came here knowing that it was safe and secretive.

  The bikes pulled up to the side of the building, backing in and kicking out their stands. There were only three riders, my mom wasn’t with them which allowed me to let out a relieved breath.

  Judge, Light and another guy I recognized but hadn’t met yet, climbed off and walked over to meet us. The guy I didn’t know had tattoos covering his entire arms, from the top of his hands to where they disappeared under the sleeves of his shirt and reappeared climbing up his neck.

  Judge nodded his head at me in greeting.

  “What’s up?” I asked casually.

  “Wanted to have a chat with Rose. Didn’t get to thank her this morning after church,” he explained, eyeing me cautiously.

  I shrugged as though it didn’t bother me what he did, but that was fake. It did bother me having these guys around her. A part of me wondered whether once she saw how these people treated her like she was a princess, risking herself for them, that she would see that there was something better out there.

  “I think she’s working with one of our girls right now, but go ahead.” Wrench pulled the door open for them and they headed inside. He grinned smugly at me as he shut the door behind them. “Gonna bet one of those boys will see her on stage and take a fancy to her.”

  I shoved him against the wall. “Shut the fuck up. She’s here to do a job, not pick up an Old Man.”

  Wrench just laughed and even as the words came out I knew I was just saying them to make myself feel better.

  This shit was becoming more fucked up by the minute.

  I was bent over and breathing heavily by the time Kat called for a break.

  “Usually, I wouldn’t push you this hard on the first day. But Slider mentioned that this was pretty much the only chance we were going to get so we need to make sure everything is perfect,” Kat explained as she handed me a bottle of water which I drained in a matter of minutes.

  “How do you think I’m doing?” I asked, dropping myself onto the stage and leaning back, attempting to get more air into my lungs.

  “Girl you’ve got it going on. Your body moves great and you hit the beats every single time.” She sat down in front of me and patted my leg. I was grateful for the support. I felt better now that I didn’t feel like I was doing this alone. I had someone on my side and that gave me the boost that I needed to push through the anxiety that was flowing through me.

  “The next thing we need to look at is getting your man to take notice and want you like his next breath.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  I felt my cheeks warm. “Blizzard isn’t my man,” I clarified even though I was disappointed to have to admit so.

  She giggled. “Well, I was actually talking about the guy that’s going to be in the audience. Slider said there was going to be a specific person you needed to attract. But this is good, we can work with Blizzard!”

  I palmed my forehead. “Sorry.”

  “No, no. This is good. Take a brea
k, I have some plans to make,” she snickered, bouncing to her feet and disappearing. I wanted to slap myself knowing whatever she was planning in that beautiful little head of hers was probably going to kill me.

  “Rose?” My head shot up and I saw three men standing at the edge of the stage. I recognized them instantly, and my body wanted to crawl inside itself and hide. But instead, I took a deep breath and shuffled toward them, letting my legs dangle off the side of the stage.

  “Looking good up there,” Skins said, winking at me. I couldn’t say that the attention didn’t feel good. Because it did, it felt really good. I just wish it was coming from someone else.

  “Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation the other night,” I said, turning my eyes to the older man who’s name I now knew was Judge.

  He smiled through his thick beard. It was soft and caring, almost fatherly. “Honey, you need to forget about that. What you’re doing for us…” he paused, almost as though he was getting choked up, “…we will forever be indebted to you.”

  I shook my head. “I may not even pull it off.”

  He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. You’re putting yourself out there, risking your life to get my daughter back. Even if it doesn’t work, I forever owe you my thanks.”

  “I hope she’s okay,” I told him sadly. During the briefing with the brothers this morning, it had been discussed about what kind of condition she could possibly be in. It made me nervous to think that I could be throwing myself into another situation where the possibility of being beaten and abused was likely. I never wanted to go back there, I never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. But this time, it was more than just my life on the line if I didn’t. It was time to suck it up.

  “Do you have a picture of her? Just so I know who I’m looking for.”

  The younger man behind Judge stepped forward with his cell phone in his hand. He held up the screen for me to see. The picture was of him and a young girl. She was holding the phone in front of them and he had his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair was an ashy color of blonde, with thick bangs cut across her forehead. Her blue eyes struck me hard. They were exactly the color of Blizzard’s, blue like a calm ocean.