The Heart of Winter

by Emma Hannigan

  Skye and his mother were tending to some new boxus hedges they’d placed in pots on either side of the door. Like two peas in a pod, his girlfriend and mother were dressed in baggy tracksuit bottoms, mud-smeared quilted jackets and Hunter wellies. His mother had the added edginess of a red scarf tied around her head.

  ‘Hey you!’ Skye said skipping over to greet him.

  ‘Hello, love,’ Holly said, pulling off her gardening gloves and joining Skye. ‘What do you think of our display?’

  ‘Looking good, ladies!’ Joey said. ‘Love the outfits, too.’

  Skye grinned and kissed him.

  ‘You’ve got earth in your curls!’ he laughed.

  ‘That’s what happens when you’re a country gal. I’ve been counting down the days to this holiday,’ she said happily. ‘A whole week off work to spend at Huntersbrook. It looks like the weather is going to hold up, too. There’s no rain forecast and if it stays as calm as it is today, we’ll be flying with the work.’

  ‘And you’re the residing owners for the first time,’ Holly said. ‘With Dad and I fully moved into the gate lodge, you’ll be in charge up here.’

  ‘It’s going to be a bit strange,’ Skye mused, ‘sort of like living in a hotel!’

  ‘Speaking of hotel, come and see the new revamped entrance hallway,’ Holly said. ‘Lainey hired a steamer and it has brought the old floor tiles back to life.’ They all went inside and Joey stood grinning with his hands on his hips.

  ‘Wowzers,’ he whistled. ‘That looks fab. I adore the old style matt black and white look. I’m delighted you and Dad never gave in to all the interior fashion trends. I remember Pippa bending your ear about having them ripped up and replaced with something more modern.’

  ‘Oh no, that’d be a travesty,’ Skye agreed. ‘The first time I walked into Huntersbrook, I was blown away by its classic beauty. The high decorative ceilings and chequerboard floor have the wow factor. Especially against the bright red front door.’

  Holly smiled. ‘I love that you feel at home here, Skye,’ she said. ‘Right. Chatting over. I’m going back outside to finish my jobs. I’ll leave you two to get settled!’

  As Joey carried his bags up the stairs to the room they’d decided to sleep in, he was quiet.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’ Skye asked.

  ‘I never laughed with Sophia,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to harp on about my ex or anything, but we’re so different,’ he said reaching over and taking her hand to kiss. ‘I’m so different. I’m lucky to have you, Skye.’

  ‘Aw, what a lovely thing to say,’ she said. ‘I think we’re pretty great actually,’ she grinned. ‘We basically rock.’

  ‘Joey?’ Paddy’s voice echoed in the hallway down stairs.

  ‘Hi Dad, just coming.’ He kissed Skye and raced down, taking the steps two at a time.

  ‘How’s it going?’ Paddy asked, giving Joey a quick hug. ‘Good to see you, son. Now, are you ready for some hard work? The gravel has arrived. Will you come out and give a hand? There are two men with rakes, but I want to make sure it’s all put in the right place. If they drive off and leave us with enormous big mounds of it, we’ll be goosed.’

  ‘Let me grab some old clothes from the shed and I’ll join you,’ Joey said.

  By the time he joined his father and the men, he found Paddy, as excited as a small child, directing the proceedings.

  Joey got stuck in and helped ease the mounds of gravel onto the turning circle and paths that immediately surrounded the house. It finished the look of the place nicely. The old tarmac that lay beneath was full of potholes and weeds. The new surface added an instantly even finish. By the time the truck drove away, Holly and Skye had joined them and were examining the handiwork closely.

  ‘I hope we get lots of parties booked in,’ Holly said.

  ‘You don’t sound convinced,’ Skye said gently.

  ‘No, I am . . . it’s just . . . well, while I think it’s the best possible plan to use Huntersbrook as a venue, I’m still desperately sad that none of us is living here full-time. It was always a family home and nothing else.’

  ‘I know, Mum,’ Joey said putting an arm around her shoulder. ‘But this is the way it has to be right now. Me and Skye will be here for the week, so at least there’ll be many times like this. Just because it’s becoming a rentable property won’t stop us turning it back into a family home from time to time.’

  ‘Maybe in a couple of years some of us will be back in residence full-time,’ Paddy reasoned. ‘But for now, isn’t it better that it wasn’t bought by a developer or someone who wanted to rip its guts out and make it unrecognisable?’

  ‘I know,’ Holly said. ‘I’m just having a silly moment. Don’t mind me.’

  They chatted about the plans to creosote the fences.

  ‘Lainey, Matt and Jacob are going to pitch in, along with a couple of the lads from Shaffrey’s farm down the road,’ Paddy told them.

  ‘I can’t wait to catch up with Lainey and Matt,’ Joey said.

  ‘They’re over at the farmhouse right now, finalising the paper work for third party insurance and the alcohol licence,’ Paddy said.

  ‘Is Ely over there with them?’ Skye asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Holly said, slightly snappily. ‘But Sadie is over there minding him. I’ll be having a word or two with Lainey when they join us later. Sadie is far too old to be dumped with a teething baby. Besides, she’d already promised to have my back this weekend. With all the helpers on board, we’ll have quite a crowd to feed. I’ve asked her to make her world-famous lamb with garlic potato gratin,’ Holly said.

  ‘I can almost taste it already,’ Joey said. ‘It’s worth coming down here for one of Sadie’s delicious dinners. How is the old doll?’

  ‘I don’t mind the doll reference, but less of the old, thank you,’ Sadie said, appearing from the pathway between Huntersbrook and the farmhouse with a happy Ely in her arms.

  ‘Caught rapid!’ Skye laughed. ‘You tell him, Sadie. You’re still a teenager up here, right?’ Skye tapped her own head.

  ‘Indeed, I am,’ Sadie agreed. ‘Although I thought I was spritely until I took charge of this little monkey today. He’s full of beans, so he is.’

  They all fussed over little Ely and commented on how like Lainey he’d become.

  Joey took his nephew into his arms and swung him around, making him giggle. His infectious laugh made them all join in.

  A pungent smell filled the air and Joey held the baby out at an arm’s length. ‘Who wants to do the honours?’

  ‘Joey!’ Skye laughed. ‘Dirty nappies are part and parcel of minding little ones. Can’t you do it?’

  ‘You’re joking, right? I’m a long long way off being ready to change smelly nappies. Until I absolutely have to, I’m choosing not to!’

  ‘Come to me, pet,’ Holly said, taking him and kissing his cheek. ‘I’m sick of telling Lainey I can mind him. I’ve been pottering in the garden since early morning and he could easily have helped me. The fresh air would’ve done him the world of good. Still, I won’t butt in when I’m not wanted.’

  Sadie smiled softly at Holly and put her hand on her arm for a moment. ‘Ah now, you know how it is with first-time mothers, Holly, have to keep the reins tight and keep it all to themselves. That’s all it is.’

  Clearly wanting to dispel the awkwardness in the air, Paddy chucked the baby under the chin and winked at Sadie and Holly. ‘Two women in my life and I’m standing here parched. Any chance of a cup of tea, my darling ladies?’

  Holly swatted him with her gardening gloves. ‘You’d think you were helpless,’ she said, teasing him. ‘I’ll get it for you.’

  ‘Sure I’ll help,’ Skye said. ‘Come on, Sadie, I’ll mind Ely so you can have a sit down and a cup as well.’

  The women headed off to the kitchen, and Joey was glad to have a few moments alone with his father.

  ‘I’ll have a little chat with our Lainey later,’ Paddy mused. ‘Your mother
would love to see more of Ely. The two of them are like cats in a sack, though. Any time I think they’re getting on, there’s another spat. One’s as bad as the other as well.’

  ‘They’ve never been any different, Dad.’ Joey sighed. ‘Mum would say black and Lainey would say white and no one could back down. I have to say I feel sorry for Mum, though. I think she’s feeling very left out.’

  ‘I’ll sort it,’ Paddy said. He looked at Joey and smiled. ‘So how is work going, son?’

  ‘Busy,’ Joey said. ‘But it’s all worth it now that I’m on such good money. I was blessed that they waited for me to get back on my feet after the accident last year. So many companies are giving people their marching orders, never mind waiting for them to recuperate.’

  ‘You’re brilliant at what you do. You deserve their loyalty,’ Paddy said. ‘Besides, it wasn’t your fault the council left those road works uncovered. You could’ve been killed. I still shudder when I think of you lying in that hospital bed.’

  ‘I know, it wasn’t the most enjoyable time in my life,’ Joey grinned. ‘Between that and everything with Sophia, I think I can confidently sum up that I’m a hell of a lot happier now. And, as it happens,’ Joey said, lowering his voice, ‘Clive offered me a partnership this morning.’

  ‘No way!’

  ‘Yes way! I’ve to confirm or decline on Tuesday. I’d booked the week off as you know, but I’ll have to shoot back up to Dublin for the day now.’

  ‘I assume you’ll say yes?’

  ‘Totally.’ Joey grinned. ‘I haven’t said a word to Skye or anyone. I wanted to discuss it with you first.’

  ‘I’m honoured, Joey. Thanks.’

  ‘Clive has pointed out I’ll be expected to work even longer hours, but I don’t mind that.’

  ‘No, so you shouldn’t. You weren’t raised to be afraid of hard work. When are you going to tell Skye and the others?’

  ‘This evening. I needed to mull it all over for a couple of hours and be sure it’s what I want.’

  ‘Well, the alternative at this point would be to move company or set up on your own,’ Paddy said. ‘Neither would be as lucrative and you’d be starting from scratch. In the current economic climate, as they say, I wouldn’t see that as a good move.’

  ‘No, I agree,’ Joey said. ‘I really want this, Dad. But I suppose I’m just scared. It’s a commitment and I guess it all feels very grown up! Am I really ready for that?’

  Before Paddy could answer, the ladies appeared back with Ely in the buggy. Skye was carrying a tray of mugs and cakes.

  ‘I thought we’d have a final fling at the outdoor table before we put it away in an outhouse,’ Holly said. ‘I can’t believe the evenings have become darker already.’

  ‘Yes, but the upside is that Halloween is around the corner,’ Sadie said as her eyes wrinkled into a smile.

  ‘Ooh, don’t get me started,’ Holly said rubbing her hands together in glee. ‘Because we all know what follows Hallowe’en, don’t we?’

  ‘What would that be, Mum?’ Joey asked.

  ‘I was sitting at the gate lodge last night feeling a bit sad about the fact that the evening light is fading so much earlier, when it occurred to me that I could start thinking about my Christmas décor for this year,’ she said.

  ‘You crack me up!’ Skye said. ‘I’ve never met another woman who loves Christmas the way you do, Holly.’

  ‘What’s not to love?’

  Joey accepted a cup of tea and stood back watching the ladies and his father cooing over little Ely as Holly attempted to explain Christmas to the baby. These were the type of scenes he remembered from his own childhood. No matter how old he was, nothing was as important as knowing he belonged. Work was mildly scary, in a good way. But here at home, he always felt secure and safe. A shiver ran down his spine. He was nervous and elated in equal measure about his new offer. But as he studied his father, Joey hoped most of all that he’d be as happy and self-assured as his father in years to come.

  Lainey

  LAINEY PHONED HUNTERSBROOK TO MAKE SURE Ely was OK. She grimaced when Holly answered.

  ‘Hi Mum,’ she said with forced cheer. ‘Just wanted to check that Ely is OK for another hour? Matt and I are finally finished with all the business and we were going to get a couple of things done here at the farmhouse before joining you all.’

  ‘Well, that’s nice for you both, dear. Seeing as I’m not in charge of Ely, I’ll pass you over to Sadie.’

  Before she could reply, Lainey heard the phone being clunked down on the kitchen counter as Holly called out to Sadie. She came on the line and was discretion itself as she assured Lainey that Ely was snug in his buggy.

  ‘Skye and Joey have taken him for a walk down the avenue. He was getting a bit grizzly, so he might have a little sleep, which will do him the world of good.’

  ‘Thanks, Sadie. We’ll be over in about an hour.’

  She hung up and found Matt in the kitchen putting the paperwork in a file.

  ‘All OK?’ he asked.

  ‘Super,’ she said, sounding deflated.

  ‘What’s up?’

  ‘Ah, nothing much. Mum answered the phone and is clearly in a total snit with me because I asked Sadie to watch Ely.’

  ‘Holly is always offering to have him. Maybe you should take her up on it sometime,’ Matt said easily.

  ‘I know my mother, Matt,’ she argued. ‘She’s full of hot air. She’s great at offering, but I can guarantee you if I actually asked her to mind him, she’d be grumbling. You know what she was like during the pregnancy and his first weeks.’

  ‘Ah she meant well,’ Matt said. ‘Remember what Sadie told you, that becoming a grandmother for the first time is just as overwhelming as becoming a mother for the first time. Sometimes, you need to see it from her side – cut her a bit of slack.’

  Lainey decided to drop the subject, but she was damned if she was letting Holly poke her nose into her life. Before and after Ely was born, Holly had dictated and pontificated at her about what she should and shouldn’t eat, drink and do. It really didn’t help that Holly lived so close by and could ‘pop in’ whenever it suited her. By the time the child was born, Lainey was at her wits’ end with Holly’s constant advice. When Lainey finally snapped and told her mother to back off, Holly had nodded in a knowing way.

  ‘You probably have postnatal depression, like I had with you. I understand. If you get much worse I would suggest you see a doctor, though. They can do marvellous things, you know? There’s no need to suffer in silence.’

  Lainey was exhausted, sore and just wanted to be left alone. ‘I am not you,’ she had pretty much screamed at her mother, something she felt guilty about to this day.

  She understood that her mother had been plagued by postnatal depression. Back then, the support and treatments hadn’t been great, so Lainey had no doubt her mother had suffered immensely. But Grandma had stepped in and practically raised Lainey singlehanded. It wasn’t as if Holly had been left in a flat all alone with a screaming child and nobody to turn to. Lainey couldn’t help feeling as if her mother blamed her for her depression. But how could it be the fault of a little baby? In her heart of hearts, although she’d never admit to anyone, not even Matt, Lainey believed that Holly loved her less than Joey or Pippa because of the depression. And it hurt.

  After Grandma Maggie died, when Holly and Lainey were equally, albeit differently, grief-stricken, things had been addressed, to an extent. Lainey had told her mother she wanted to forge a new and adult relationship with her, to try to ensure they didn’t die with regrets – like Holly had about her treatment of Maggie in her final years. In fairness to her, Holly had agreed willingly. It was all easy to say, of course, but not quite as simple to implement.

  Lainey knew she should probably allow her mother to bond with Ely a bit more. But every time she went near her, Holly couldn’t help doling out unwanted and unasked-for advice.

  ‘His cheeks look a little red, have you tried to
rub something on his gums?’ or her all-time favourite, if she couldn’t find anything specific to pick on, ‘he looks exhausted, did he sleep last night?’

  Sadie, on the other hand, was so easy-going and always asked what Lainey wanted her to do.

  ‘You’re the Mammy, so I’ll take my lead from you.’

  Lainey didn’t want to get into a slagging match against her mother or anything like that, but she often wished Sadie would at least acknowledge how difficult Holly could be.

  It was an issue she felt she couldn’t really raise with anyone, in fact. Joey was the apple of his mother’s eye. The son and heir. And Pippa? Well, Pippa was just Pippa. Nothing much fazed her. In spite of the trouble she constantly caused, Holly seemed to forgive her completely. From where Lainey was standing, it was almost as if their mother admired Pippa’s devil-may-care attitude.

  Thinking of Pippa, she texted her sister quickly: Hope ur week went well. Looking forward 2 seeing you over the wk end. Full steam ahead 4 getting the place ready 2 take guests. What time r u coming down?

  Pippa was normally very speedy with her responses, so Lainey was a bit miffed when she didn’t answer. Figuring she was probably in the car on her way down, Lainey put her phone back in her bag.

  By the time they’d finished clearing up, Lainey was gasping for some air.

  ‘I think living in the country again has made me an air-a-holic,’ she joked. ‘I don’t know how I managed so many years of living in my apartment and sitting in an office day in, day out.’

  ‘You were at a different stage in life,’ Matt pointed out. ‘Now you’re back where you belong. I feel the same way. I loved the years I spent in London and I probably wouldn’t have come back when I did except that Mum was dying, but it was the right thing. This place fits me. And of course I bumped into you again,’ he said with a smile.

  Lainey smiled back. ‘Well, husband dearest, I told Sadie we had a bit of business to attend to and we’d collect Ely in an hour.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘And what are you saying, wife dearest?’