The Heart of Winter

by Emma Hannigan

  When the alarm clock went off, Pippa wanted to die. Impressively, Missy staggered out of bed and into the shower without even thinking about it. Pippa conked off to sleep again as she listened to the trickling of the shower. Before she knew it, Missy was standing above her, shaking her angrily.

  ‘Get up, sleepy-head,’ she said, pulling the blankets off Pippa.

  Knowing she would be fired if she stayed in bed, Pippa dragged herself out and into her own room. Miraculously, she managed to present herself at the front door at the allotted time. The pastries Brianna had raved about tasted dry and flaky to her. The coffee burned her mouth and made her want to do open-mouthed howling.

  Feeling shockingly awful, she trailed pathetically behind Brianna and Missy for the most of the day.

  Danny called three times before Pippa answered.

  ‘It’s really noisy in here,’ she said. ‘I’m dying, Danny. We had about an hour and a half of sleep and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.’

  ‘I hope you weren’t off with sleazy French men,’ he said.

  ‘No,’ she said miserably.

  ‘You’re in a really bad way,’ he said. ‘Take some painkillers and get a double espresso. You can’t let your boss see you acting like a washed-up junkie.’

  ‘I know, I’ve been trying really hard to act upbeat all day, but I feel so terrible. I’m never taking drugs again.’

  ‘Shush,’ he said loudly. ‘Don’t say that kind of stuff on a mobile phone or within spitting distance of your bloody boss!’

  ‘Sorry, Danny. I’m not as experienced as you are with all the deception.’

  She hung up as tears of self-pity burned her eyes.

  ‘All OK?’ Brianna asked from directly behind her.

  ‘Eh, yes. Of course,’ Pippa said. Sweat ran down her back and the sensation of sheer panic terrified her. Had Brianna heard her on the phone?

  ‘How are you?’ Pippa asked. ‘Should we have a coffee break?’

  ‘Good plan,’ Brianna agreed before striding toward one of the coffee docks with the stand-around tables.

  Pippa bought cappuccinos for the others and a double espresso for herself. Popping two painkillers into her mouth, she downed both in one gulp.

  ‘Have you a headache?’ Brianna asked suspiciously.

  ‘Yeah,’ Pippa said. ‘I’m never great in these huge enclosed spaces. Country bumpkin that I am.’

  ‘I thought you were unusually quiet all day,’ Brianna said. ‘I thought it was partly down to madam, too,’ said referring to Missy, who was at the loo.

  ‘Ah, she’s not a bad egg.’

  ‘No, I’m surprised by how chirpy she is actually,’ Brianna conceded. ‘Anyway, we’re nearly finished for today. There’s a lot left to see tomorrow, but we don’t want to feel burnt out either.’

  Even though she was dying inside, Pippa was careful to nod and make the right noises at the right times. She caught sight of her reflection in a mirror. She was the colour of putty.

  ‘Are you still not feeling any better?’ Brianna asked an hour or so later.

  ‘I’ll be fine tomorrow. A good night’s sleep and I’ll be raring to go.’

  If it weren’t for the fizzy energy tablets Missy slipped her, Pippa knew she’d be horizontal on the floor by now.

  Missy, on the other hand, was absolutely fine. Pippa hadn’t the energy to work out how she was still so chirpy.

  By the time Brianna decided enough was enough and called it a day, Pippa felt close to tears.

  ‘So do you girls want to eat here at the exhibition hall or will we go back to the hotel to freshen up and go out for a proper meal?’ Missy asked.

  ‘I’d prefer to get out of here,’ Brianna said. ‘We’ve got the other half of this place to walk and shop in tomorrow. I reckon a change of scene is called for. Pippa?’

  ‘Yeah, I need to get back to the hotel for some sleep.’

  Brianna had been ready to walk back, but Pippa had begged to be allowed to take a cab. As she collapsed against the car seat, Pippa felt like she could sleep for a week.

  ‘Pippa?’ Brianna said, nudging her gently. ‘Are you positive you’re OK, honey?’

  ‘Oh, sorry,’ Pippa said peeling her eyes open. ‘I’m really sorry about this girls,’ Pippa said. ‘But I’m totally out of sorts today. I think I might have to retire. Get a sandwich sent up by room service.’

  ‘I know from past experience that the hotel doesn’t do room service,’ Brianna said. ‘All they offer is coffee and croissants and they’re vile, which is why I suggested we have breakfast on the way this morning.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Pippa murmured. ‘I don’t need food, just sleep.’

  ‘You’re very pale,’ Brianna said worriedly. ‘And you had an early night . . . Unless you two snuck out without me?’ She raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Oh no!’ Missy said throwing her head back and giggling. ‘As if we’d do that!’

  Pippa couldn’t even join in with the banter. She needed to crawl into bed and nothing was going to make her change her mind.

  ‘So,’ Missy said as they walked through the hotel lobby toward their rooms, ‘let’s take forty minutes. That’s enough for a shower and the usual calls home and we can meet here. I’m starving.’

  ‘Well, I think it’ll be just you and me,’ Brianna said, looking at Pippa.

  ‘I’ll bet you’ll be fine once you freshen up,’ Missy said, linking Pippa’s arm. ‘Besides, you really need to eat. You’ve barely eaten a bite all day.’

  ‘That’s true,’ Brianna said. ‘Unless you want me to run to the nearest patisserie and buy you something?’

  ‘Ugh, no! The only place near here is that dump over there,’ Missy scoffed as she pointed to a rather dank looking building. ‘You’ll end up with a tapeworm or something. We’ll go to a bistro nearby and I promise you’ll be tucked up in bed at a decent hour.’

  Pippa thought she was going to do open-mouthed ugly crying. She hadn’t felt this miserable or vulnerable since the time she’d fallen and split her lip in Kindergarten.

  ‘I don’t know . . .’ she tried to protest.

  ‘Ooh, I still have your hair spray,’ Missy said, knocking her forehead. ‘Silly me! Come to my room and I’ll give it back to you. I’m not washing my hair now and I think you said you are . . .’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Pippa said, not even aware enough to pick up on Missy’s ploy.

  ‘I insist,’ she said, widening her eyes at Pippa.

  ‘Uh. OK,’ she said, traipsing after Missy. ‘See you in a while, Brianna,’ she said, mustering up as much strength as she could to wave.

  As soon as they closed the door in Missy’s room, Pippa flopped onto the bed.

  ‘Missy, I feel like I’m going to die,’ Pippa whined. ‘I can’t go out tonight. I’m so exhausted. I’ve never felt this awful in my life. Every inch of me hurts.’

  ‘Pippa, you really need to get it together,’ Missy snapped. ‘Brianna is going to smell a rat here. Are you trying to get us both into trouble? All I need is for her to report to Daddy that the two of us were falling around Paris, acting like wasted drunks.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Pippa said softly. Swallowing hard, she felt incredibly nervous all of a sudden. Missy was incensed and it was scary.

  ‘Not good enough, Pippa! Get with the program here. If you can’t be cool, I have a serious problem with that. Believe me, you don’t want to make an enemy of me. Now go and tart yourself up and stop acting like a diseased dog.’

  Pippa half staggered, half crawled from the room. Clamping her hand over her mouth, she bore down on the inside of her cheek and willed her tears to hold off. Fumbling with her room key, she eventually managed to spring the door open and fall in. Knowing she had very little time, she made for the bathroom and turned on the shower. Much to her dismay it was ancient and dribbly, a far cry from the therapeutic needling of a power shower that she so desperately needed.

  Reaching for the tiny complimentary bottles of shampo
o and shower gel, she hoped their scent might help lift her flagging spirit. When she opened them, they smelled alarmingly like washing-up liquid and her hair seemed to react accordingly, as it instantly matted into a tangled and knotted bird’s-nest on the top of her head.

  Turning off the cruddy shower, she wrapped herself gingerly in a towel. Even that wasn’t at all what she’d had in mind. Longing to feel fluffy, cosy comfort, the scutty, threadbare offering was like another slap in the face.

  Due to the liquid restrictions on the plane, Pippa hadn’t brought any hair products along, so the process of yanking the travel-size rigid brush through her tresses was painful. Pulling open the musty drawer on the dressing table, she found a joke of a hairdryer. As she flicked it on, she cursed. It was one of those annoying ones that needed the button held in place all the time to keep it turned on.

  The sheer effort of pushing the button and attempting to style her hair made her feel exhausted. The muscles in her arms screamed in pain as she tried to smooth her hair. She was also bathed in sweat by the time she was finished.

  Knowing the clock was against her, she patted her face with the damp towel and applied her make-up as best she could. Scrutinizing her reflection in the mirror, she hoped she didn’t look as freaked or wrecked as she felt.

  ‘There you are, slow coach!’ Missy said as she eventually joined the ladies in the lobby.

  ‘Ah she’s only five minutes late,’ Brianna said with a smile. ‘How are you feeling? You certainly look a lot better.’

  ‘Yes, fine thanks, Brianna,’ Pippa said, unable to look her boss in the eye. ‘Looking forward to a bit of dinner.’

  ‘And a glass of wine,’ Missy said, linking both their arms and marching them out into the night.

  The conversation was light as they swapped thoughts on the show that day.

  ‘I’m very happy with the day-time looks,’ Brianna said as they were shown to a table in a massive buzzy restaurant. Missy ordered a bottle of champagne.

  ‘It’s on me,’ she winked. ‘Go on, Brianna,’ she said politely. ‘You love the day looks. So do I detect a thumbs down for the evening wear?’

  ‘Well,’ she said helping herself to a bread roll. ‘I can’t say I’ve been blown away by any of it. There are the usual gorgeously tailored black dresses, but I’m waiting to see some pops of colour that excite me.’

  By the time they’d ordered and the sommelier had poured the champagne, Pippa was feeling marginally better.

  ‘Cheers,’ said Missy with a bright smile. ‘Here’s to a great day’s work.’

  ‘Yes indeed,’ Brianna said. ‘And I’m sure we’ll find some amazing pieces for the evening wear section tomorrow.’

  ‘Hear, hear,’ Missy said. ‘Have you gotten lots of design ideas, Pippa? It must be an Aladdin’s cave for an artist such as yourself.’

  Pippa made a huge effort to chat and constantly reminded herself to smile. She didn’t want to draw any more attention from Brianna. Choosing the most plain and comforting food possible she knew she was simply counting down the minutes until she could bolt back to the hotel and flop into bed.

  Missy excused herself and went to the bathroom just after the main course.

  ‘She’s not being too bad,’ Brianna whispered as soon as the other woman left the table. ‘I think I’ve been rather judgemental of her. She’s a nice girl and well able to put in a day’s work.’

  ‘I’m fond of her,’ Pippa said with a frozen smile. ‘Maybe she gets some unfair bad press in light of her dad’s wealth.’

  It was like musical chairs for the next while. As soon as Missy returned, Brianna excused herself.

  ‘You’ve started a trend,’ Brianna laughed. ‘No doubt you’ll need to run to the ladies now too,’ she said to Pippa.

  ‘I’ll wait with Missy until you return,’ she said.

  Pippa finished her glass of white wine. It was probably very expensive seeing as Missy ordered it, but right at that moment it could easily have been battery acid.

  ‘Pippa, Pippa, Pippa,’ Missy said shaking her head. ‘You’re totally flagging, my girl.’

  ‘Yeah, sorry,’ she grimaced. ‘I’ll be fine once I get a good sleep tonight.’

  ‘Well, that won’t obviously be happening for some time,’ Missy winked. ‘Here, take this to the loo. There’s enough to pep you up.’

  ‘Oh, thanks so much, Missy,’ Pippa protested. ‘But I’m beyond help today. I won’t be out on the tiles this evening. I simply couldn’t.’

  ‘You will and you can,’ Missy answered coldly. ‘I didn’t come all the way to Paris with the view to having Mrs Brianna-bore as my party buddy. But right now, she’s more fun than you are. Go to the bathroom, powder your nose and quit whining. I thought you were fun, Pippa. You’re beginning to piss me off.’

  Swallowing hard, Pippa was just about to tell Missy where she could stick her coke and her faux friendship, when the other girl narrowed her eyes.

  ‘I got a text from your sister earlier. Seems they’ve bought the marquee and all the stuff for my party. I’m going to put your family’s business on the map, Pippa. I’m being a true friend. The least you can do is come out with me for an hour.’

  ‘Please, Missy. I’d love to come out with you any time . . . You know I would. But I’m too exhausted right now.’

  ‘How would your family feel if I told them I was worried about you?’ Missy said as she nonchalantly glanced at her nails.

  ‘Pardon?’ Pippa’s blood ran cold.

  ‘Imagine if I rang Lainey or your mum and said that I didn’t want to cause any upset, but I’m so worried about you dating a drug dealer . . .’

  ‘Jesus Christ, Missy, you wouldn’t . . .’

  ‘Ah there you are, Brianna,’ Missy said brightly. ‘Right Pippa, your turn, off to the ladies room with you and then we’ll pop off for a little nightcap. How does that sound to everyone?’

  ‘Where are we off to?’ Brianna said as she sat down with a smile and her lipstick reapplied.

  ‘Where would you suggest?’ Missy asked cheerfully.

  Pippa scurried to the bathroom and slammed the cubicle door shut. Leaning against the door, she tried to stifle her sobs. She was tempted to hurl the tiny package Missy had pressed into her hand in the toilet bowl. But the thought of staying awake for even another hour was torturous. Pippa also needed to be on her guard. If Missy started spouting about Danny and calling him a drug dealer, she could lose her job along with her family’s respect.

  One thing was certain, she couldn’t possibly go on another bender tonight, and there was no way she would. But as she eyeballed the foil container, she knew she was goosed. If she didn’t keep Missy sweet, Huntersbrook could end up in debt before it even got going as a venue. She could lose her job, and Danny could end up in jail.

  Sitting on the closed toilet seat, Pippa jigged her foot up and down trying to stop her tears. Scrolling some loo roll from the dispenser, she patted her face dry and blew her nose. Checking her phone, she saw three text messages had come through earlier. One each from Joey and Lainey, and another from Danny. Missy hadn’t been lying. They’d bought a ton of stuff for this party.

  Buy Missy a drink from us tonight! She deserves it, just look at all the great equipment we’ve got!

  Pippa’s tears returned as she gazed around the tiny cubicle. Lainey would be so disappointed with her if she knew the truth. Pippa couldn’t bear the thought of her sister’s beautiful features crushing into an expression of bewildered hurt. She’d never felt so alone. Texting Danny, she poured her heart out to him, telling him Missy was blackmailing her. Mercifully, he texted instantly.

  Play it cool until you get back. She’s a bunny boiler and always was. Keep her sweet and you’ll be fine. Don’t drink and keep your wits about you. If I could, I’d get on the next flight to be by your side. I’m sorry if I’ve caused any trouble for you. Things will change. We’ll get through this. Love you xx D

  Sighing, Pippa opened the foil and fumbled with th
e contents. Terrified she’d do something wrong now that she was alone without a guide, Pippa did her best to control the shaking in her hands.

  What felt like a week later, she rejoined the ladies at the table.

  ‘There you are,’ Missy said raising an eyebrow. ‘Oh you look pretty. I love that lip-gloss. You’ll have to point out which one it is in duty-free.’

  ‘You certainly are an ad for it,’ Brianna agreed. ‘It lights up your face!’ As the waiter arrived with the bill, Missy whispered, ‘So does a line of Charlie!’

  Pippa tried not to stiffen her muscles when Missy linked her arm as they walked. Astonishingly, it appeared they were back to being best friends all of a sudden.

  By the time they found a bar they all deemed suitable, Pippa was feeling decidedly better, but still incredibly wary of Missy.

  ‘I love this song,’ Missy said as she danced her way to a round table. ‘This place is the bomb.’

  ‘What’s everyone having to drink?’ Brianna said with a smile.

  ‘Ooh, let’s have a cocktail!’ Missy suggested.

  ‘Good call,’ said Pippa knowing she needed to play her cards right. ‘My round!’

  Pippa had learned a long time ago that it was lethal to use a credit card in bars, especially while inebriated. But all sense went out the window as the cocaine relieved her inhibitions and restored her confidence.

  She should have known she was racking up quite a bill when their table was pretty much covered in empty glasses, but Pippa was unstoppable.

  ‘I’m showing my age here, ladies,’ Brianna slurred. ‘But I cannot even smell another drink. I need to go back to the hotel and crash. Lord only knows what kind of shopping we’re going to do tomorrow at this rate. This,’ she hiccupped, ‘is the most unprofessional I’ve been in twenty years. You two are a dreadful influence on me. But your enthusiasm is contagious!’

  ‘Let’s get you back,’ Pippa said wobbling slightly. ‘We should probably all go to bed. As Brianna says, we’re in danger of buying hideous gear tomorrow otherwise.’

  The two younger women had to practically drag Brianna back to the hotel.