Crossworld of Xai

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Crossworld of Xai Page 20

by Steven Savage


  “This is about you and HuanJen?” Lorne asked politely.

  “What?” Garnet practically fell off of the couch turning to confront the Gendarme. “I never told you! Who told you?”

  “No one. It was obvious.” Lorne shrugged, looking a bit guilty. “Same way it’s obvious that Jade has to ask us about HuanJen and her.”

  Jade found herself in the unfamiliar state of being speechless. Garnet looked from her, to Lorne, and back again, head swiveling so quickly her red hair looked like a mist.

  “Her and HuanJen?” Garnet asked.

  Lorne sat on the other side of Jade. “Well, am I right?”

  “Yes,” Jade said wearily.

  “What?” Garnet’s voice blossomed with incredulity. She was trying to pair Jade and the Magician-Priest together in her mind and her mind refused to cooperate on general principle.

  “Garnet, look, I’ve been with HuanJen for a few months and … listen I have to admit I like it. A lot. A whole lot. I think maybe we have something going here. Or I do.”

  Lorne nodded thoughtfully, and put a strong arm around Jade’s shoulders. “I’ve wondered. You can tell us.”

  “I just did.”

  “I’m trying to be comforting Jade,” Lorne chided.

  “Yeah.” Jade shrugged. “Sorry. I’m not used to this guys and lets face it, HuanJen is … I don’t expect him to catch on right away. I just think I could really be falling for him. I need advice. I wish Clairice was here, she dated him.”

  “Ah.” Garnet looked distraught. “Um …”

  “Clairice, I think, is jealous of you.” Lorne commented sadly.

  Jade blinked. “Over Huan?”

  “No, not considering how that ended. Over me.” The Gendarme nodded at Jade’s shocked look. “I think she’s jealous that we spend time tighter.”

  Jade felt the world tilt inside her head. This was too much. “We watch anime and hang out! What’s there … oh hell. Look, can we deal with Mister Mystery and our confused relationship first?”

  “Good idea, that’s more incomprehensible,” Garnet stated flatly.

  “No it’s not,” Lorne countered, “they work together closely, they obviously get along, and have a lot in common. I think Jade enjoys what they have together - and they’re practically inseparable.”

  Garnet was obviously not convinced. “Maybe, but a relationship isn’t just sharing work, it’s …”

  “But as a foundation …”

  “Excuse me?” Jade raised a hand. “I am present, thank you!”

  “Sorry,” Garnet and Lorne apologized simuletaneously.

  “It’s OK. Garnet, I like the working together. I mean he shares his whole life with me, there aren’t any boundaries. It means a lot to me and, like I said, I can’t imagine not being with him. Not just workwise. He’s everywhere.”

  “Sounds like Clairice,” Lorne stated seriously. His blue eyes focused into the past for a moment.

  “Yes.” Garnet bit her lip in thought. “She hated that.”

  “Her loss.” Jade added. “I like it, it’s like being held all the time. It’s like being home. For real.”

  “Are you asking us if you’re in love?” Lorne questioned carefully.

  “I’m not sure.” The Vulpine future cleric answered with a mixture of frustration and sadness.

  Garnet sighed, and scratched her nose. “We can’t tell you, I don’t think. I’m not sure I’m the best person to give you advice.”

  “I’m not sure I am either,” Lorne admitted with a shrug. “Who is really? Of our little group only Rake’s been married. Garnet, you’re doing well …”

  “By accident, I got lucky.” The red-furred Vulpine’s attitude combined defensiveness and modesty. “If I can say anything it’s know when a good thing’s come along.”

  “And grab it,” Lorne added emphatically, making a fist.

  “How?” Jade asked.

  The living room went silence as Garnet and Lorne felt their wisdom drain away in the harsh light of personal scrutiny. Jade shook her head.

  “I’ll just know, right?” The apprentice mystic asked bitterly.

  “Sort of. I think.” Garnet tried to sound sure. “Sounds pretty stereotypical when you put it like that. Actually pretty corny.”

  “This is not a stereotypical couple we’re dealing with.” Lorne crossed his arms. “Jade, my advice is to know your own feelings and act on them.”

  “My feelings were to talk to you two.”

  Lorne gave Jade a sadly sympathetic look. “Oh, sorry. This must be a real disappointment.”

  “Yeah.” Garnet patted Jade’s knee. “I’m sorry I can’t do more. I hope it works out.”

  “I have a lot of thinking to do,” Jade acknowledged. “Can I count on you two? I may need to call at night crying and acting stupid and so on.”

  “Any time,” Lorne replied warmly.

  “Same here.” Garnet managed some perkiness. “I’m curious to see how it turns out.”

  “Funny,” Jade said dryly, “me too.”

  A sudden knock at the apartment door caused Slate to start into wakefulness and roll off of the living room couch in surprise. His surroundings quickly came into focus - the television still on, the clock displaying about six at night, a book on the floor. He’d fallen asleep while Garnet was out doing … what had she been doing?

  The knock repeated itself. Slate scrambled to his feet, checking himself to see if he was dressed decently, and pleased to find he was in jeans and a tank top. Waking up coherent wasn’t his strong point, and he’d hate to greet a visitor only to then remember he was, for instance, nude.

  “Hello,” Slate began, only to be shocked fully awake by the identity of his visitor.

  ‘Good day, Slate.” The muscular Vulpine made out a smiling face, dark hair split by a streak of white …

  “HuanJen?”

  “Yes.” The magician-priest smiled pleasantly. “Slate, I hope I’m not interrupting?”

  A few emotions stampeded through Slate’ suddenly awake brain. Most of the more unpleasant ones were quickly tamed by civility. His mother had always raised him to be polite, even if his father had not reinforced her lessons very well.

  “No. Come in.”

  Slate dropped into a seat at the kitchen table, which wasn’t a long walk from the front door. He was a frugal man, and a small apartment for he and Garnet was all he needed at the moment, even if the living room, the foyer, and the kitchen were roughly the same.

  “What can I do for you, is it about Garnet?” Slate found himself asking the question without benefit of rational thought. Rational thought, in turn, was horrified.

  “No. I need to inform you of something and ask a question or two perhaps.”

  “What …”

  “Nothing bad.” HuanJen’s voice was soothing. Slate, of course, immediately tensed up.

  “What?”

  “I think, Slate, I am taking a romantic interest in your sister. A serious one.”

  Slate stared at the cleric, his narrow eyes slightly sad. No other hint of emotion was apparent. The statement was heartfelt, but to say the least, unexpected.

  “I see. And why are you telling me this?” A worm of anger crept around Slates calm words. He wasn’t sure why he was angry, but his mistrust burned nova-bright.

  “Because, you are her brother. Because you and Garnet have a functional relationship and I need advice on such a relationship. Because if I pursue a relationship with Jade without telling you, you’re likely to take it poorly.”

  Slate took a deep breath, exhaled, then spoke. “Thank you. I … would you mind sitting down, it’s irritating to have you hovering.”

  “Of course.” HuanJen took a seat. “I apologize if this is inconvenient. I had hoped you would be able to advise me.”

  “It’s more damn weird than inconvenient. Are you sure it’s not this apprentice thing, some kind of fatherly attachment?”

  “No.” The mystic shook his head. “No. It feel
s different.”

  “Hell … what can I tell you? What can I say … how do you feel?” The gray-furred Vulpine felt agitated. It wasn’t just HuanJen, it was himself - he hated being asked for answers, hated being questioned suddenly. He was always afraid it was an invitation to screw up.

  “I really don’t know what to say.” HuanJen folded his hands. “As for how I feel … I can’t imagine Jade not being there. I’m glad she’s there. I don’t want her gone. I …”

  “Think about sleeping with her?” Slate’s voice could be used to liquefy hydrogen.

  “Yes. Surprisingly often. That’s how I know it’s not some, as you said ‘fatherly attachment.’” HuanJen met Slate’s gaze calmly. Slate had the strangest sensation his anger, his usual protective urges, we’re dropping away into the strange, dark eyes of the mage.

  “I … really have no good advice. Jade’s private life is her own.” Slate looked away. “Garnet … I just fell in love with her. There’s no test, no way I made a list and checked. It was there. It happened without me trying. I can’t help you.”

  HuanJen nodded, and rested his face in his hands for a moment. Finally, he looked up at Slate.

  “I think you just did.”

  “I beg your pardon?” Slate was rarely used to anyone who wasn’t Garnet or a client taking his advice or saying he was helpful. It seemed to be the muscles - they assumed they were inversely proportional to your brain.

  “Slate … I feel that way. About Jade.” HuanJen’s voice was soft, introspective. For a moment, the cleric seemed almost transparent, lit by a harsh light of realization. “Feeling for her, to paraphrase what I told someone awhile ago, is just something I do.”

  “Shit,” Slate said poetically. He didn’t know what else to say, and swear words were the shorthand of surprise.

  “It just happened.” HuanJen smiled softly. “I don’t know, I think it was happening for awhile. She’s a remarkable woman Slate. Remarkable.”

  “Yeah.” Slate scratched his upper lip. His mind was a storm of billowing confusion and terrible understandings. HuanJen’s voice, his manner …

  … it was like he acted with Garnet those months ago.

  “Damn, HuanJen …”

  “Huan, if you like.”

  Slate waved the Fang-Shih off. “Whatever. This is for real, isn’t it? Gods of Xai, it is.”

  HuanJen appeared to freeze for a moment, only eyes betraying his racing thoughts. After a few moments, he nodded.

  “Yes. It may be. Slate, I find myself wondering about her, and I do not mean sexually. How to make her happy. How she makes me happy. How I don’t feel … so …”

  “Alone? Without her?”

  “Yes.”

  To his surprise, Slate laughed. “I never thought of you feeling alone. You’re always so involved in things. I mean, lets be honest, you’re a professional busybody, Huan. Your life is about people. I’d expect you’d want to be alone as much as possible. I know I would.”

  “I never had anyone to share it with.” The words landed in Slate’s ears like blocks of lead. HuanJen was serious - he often seemed serious, but he usually had a twinkle in his eye or a touch of humor in his voice. Not now.

  “I understand.” A trickle of empathy ran through Slate’s mind. “I don’t understand you. I don’t … but I understand.”

  HuanJen sighed softly. “Slate, let me ask, with all civility - why are you hostile to me. Is it Jade?”

  “Not … exactly.”

  HuanJen’s eyes narrowed. “Garnet?”

  “Not … totally.”

  “What is it then?”

  The burly Vulpine grimaced, tried to speak, stooped, then finally let the words come of their own accord. No use being subtle, he was rarely good at it.

  “I just don’t like you.”

  HuanJen cocked an eyebrow curiously. He could accept people not liking him, but Slate’s polite manner was unusual for people who didn’t like him.

  “It’s nothing bad,” Slate continued, “but you just irritate me. You always seem to have your hands in everything but I can’t say you do. Things seem to go your way. You’re polite enough that I want to hit you just once to see you impolite. Your friends are fine, Lorne even invited me to golf. It’s just you. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, actually.” HuanJen nodded sadly. “I’ve heard it before. I’m not that well socialized, I think.”

  “It’s nothing personal. Overall.”

  “I see. And Jade?”

  Slate stared at his large hands. He wanted to look HuanJen in the eye and couldn’t. He felt that if he did, the magician-priest would see more than he would. He always saw too much anyway.

  However, the mystic was also a sincere bastard. Honest. When he discussed Jade, Slate could feel what went unsaid around his words because you couldn’t say some things, just hope people understood. He meant well even in what he couldn’t say.

  “I think … the way you sound you care for her. You’re a damn sight better than any of her previous lovers. I think you’d never hurt her.” Slate finally managed to look HuanJen in the eyes for a moment. “I guess she could do worse.”

  “Do you approve, if we do find ourselves in a … a romantic relationship?” For a moment the mystic’s placidity broke, revealing a glint of anxiety.

  “I … Yes.” Slate realized he sounded surprised. He couldn’t really say no, though he wanted to. His pettiness couldn’t muster enough energy to assert itself. “Maybe you’ll make her happy. I can’t. I tried. Maybe you can succeed. I think you’d try your hardest.”

  HuanJen nodded. “Thank …”

  “You’d still … go on without my approval, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yes. I think I want to try.”

  Slate took a few slow, deliberate breaths. Of course he would. If he’d be deterred by a large, temperamental brother he wouldn’t be in love. “That’s good. I hope things work out. I feel like I should say more. I feel like you should say more.”

  “I know. Don’t try. I won’t hurt her, Slate. I couldn’t.”

  It was a perfect opportunity for Slate to say something menacing and brotherly like “you’d better not or else.” However, he couldn’t, it just wasn’t appropriate. Besides, he doubted Jade would let herself be hurt, and this was HuanJen.

  “I don’t think you ever would,” Slate admitted. “That I’m certain of.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence. Slate drummed his thick fingers on the kitchen table. Meanwhile, HuanJen just sat there, sat there looking at him. It felt like the universe was breathing down his furred neck.

  “Nothing to say?” Slate finally asked.

  “Not really.” HuanJen seemed more human than Slate was used to. There was still something that set his teeth on edge and made him want to look away, but he was human. He was quite probably in love, and at least that was something Slate could relate to.

  “I’m going to go.” HuanJen flowed to a standing position and extended a sinewy hand. “Thank you, Slate.”

  Slate shook the mystics hand with more enthusiasm than he’d expect. Maybe he couldn’t like HuanJen, but his sister could be in worse hands - including her own. Maybe coming to Xai, being free of Colony, finding Garnet, had led him to think that nothing wouldn’t go his way.

  Either way, things could be worse.

  “Take care of her. Wait … ” Slate paused.

  “Yes. This is Jade we’re talking about.” HuanJen confirmed with a grin and a twinkle in his eye.

  Slate managed a laugh, half-real, half-forced. “I wish you two well. I’ve always wished her well, I’m just not very good at helping her find it. I guess you’ve done more than anyone, haven’t you.”

  “I did what I did. I’m glad she’s well.”

  “Look.” Slate gestured helplessly. “You want to stay for a few minutes, talk, man to man.”

  “We’re probably going to have to learn to get along. For Jade’s sake.” HuanJen concurred thoughtfully. “Well, for our sakes since I
doubt she’ll tolerate us not getting along at some minimal level …”

  “Of course. It’s for our own good.”

  Jade looked out over Metris. She and HuanJen sat there now and then, just watching the play of life in the city, in his Zone. However, her current perspective was more internal.

  HuanJen.

  Part of her wondered about he and Garnet. Would he have been so supportive if she’d asked? Could she say “Huan, I’m lonely, let’s hit the sack?” and then wake the neighbors?

  Would she want to?

  She was surprised to find her answer was ‘not really.’ Whatever had happened with Garnet had been an act of friendship and caring. For her, she wanted something different.

  Not that she wasn’t going to rake the mystic over the coals for concealing that tidbit of information from her for so long.

  HuanJen headed home. He belonged everywhere, but home was where Jade was. He didn’t question his feelings so much as see where they pointed.

  They pointed to her. Where he wasn’t alone.

  “Hey.” Jade said as HuanJen opened the apartment door. Instantly she cringed, and set down the sandwich she was making. She’d been around HuanJen long enough to know when she telegraphed something, and her tone of voice had just said sentences.

  “What’s wrong?” HuanJen strode towards her, looking concerned. He seemed a bit nervous to Jade, who had gotten used to his usual habits some time ago.

  Jade sagged. This was it. “I … found out about Garnet.” It was most of the truth. It was certainly near the top of her mind.

  “Oh.” HuanJen sounded sad and somewhat uncomfortable. “I really didn’t think it was something to share with you. I’m … very sorry.”

  “Hey, It is your life. I guess.” Jade shoved her snack into the refrigerator. “I don’t know. I guess by now you would have told me.”

  “It’s very private.” HuanJen sat on the couch, and looked up at Jade, his expression an alloy of guilt and concern. “Do you trust me still?”

  “Wha . . yeah.” Jade paused, flustered for a moment. She really wanted to yell or something, probably because it was easier than what she had to do. “Yeah, I do. Look, it’s just something that kinda complicates issues. I know she roomed with you, and …”

 

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