The Gambler

by Denise Grover Swank

  No. God, no.

  She held the phone in her hand for several seconds, shell-shocked. What was she going to do?

  She found herself in the elevator before she realized what she was doing.

  Think this through, Libby, she told herself as she pressed the button for fourteen on the number bank. Once you do this, it can’t be undone.

  But what couldn’t be undone? Her finding out he was in a business deal for a business he wasn’t part of? Or finding him fucking another woman in a hotel room while on his honeymoon with her?

  The elevator stopped on the fourteenth floor and she headed down the hall, her heart pounding in her chest. The reasonable, sane part of her told her this was a mistake. Noah loved her. He wouldn’t betray her, but Blair’s voice played in her head on repeat: Noah is a user. He’ll take what he wants and move on. If he doesn’t cheat on you first.

  Her father’s voice joined the party next: No man will ever really love you. They’ll want your body and your looks and they’ll lie through their teeth to get you. But when they’ve used you up, they’ll move on.

  Not Noah. Please, God, not Noah too. Anyone but Noah.

  Then knock on the door and find out.

  Her body had been on autopilot while her mind was busy taunting her and she found herself in front of the door to room 1470, her hand suspended to knock. What if he wasn’t in there? What if he was? What would she do?

  She’d put it together as it played out.

  She rapped on the door and took a step back, preparing herself for what was on the other side.

  A perky brunette opened the door. She was dressed in a pencil skirt and blouse unbuttoned enough to show her cleavage, and she held a champagne flute in her hand. “Can I help you?”

  Suddenly, Libby felt like a fool. “I’m sorry. I think I have the wrong room.”

  “That’s okay, I thought you were room service,” the woman said, then looked over her shoulder. “Noah, it’s okay. The food’s not here yet.”

  Noah.

  White spots danced in front of Libby’s eyes. She shoved the woman aside and marched past her.

  Noah sat on the made bed, a champagne flute in his hand. His face paled the moment he saw her and he jumped to his feet.

  A thousand and one possible reactions filtered through her head—screaming, crying, throwing things, pitching a royal fit—but all she could manage was to turn around and walk out of the room.

  “Libby!”

  She ran down the hall and pounded on the up button.

  “Libby! Let me explain!”

  As soon as the doors opened, she ran inside and pushed the button for their floor.

  Noah was running after her, panic on his face. “Libby!”

  She ignored the pleading in his voice as the doors shut on his face.

  She couldn’t think, couldn’t react. She could only run. When she opened the door to her room, it occurred to her that she had to figure out what to do next. What was she going to do?

  Home. She needed to go home.

  When Noah burst into the room, she was already dragging her suitcase toward the door.

  “Libby. You have to let me explain.”

  She tried to get around him, but he grabbed her shoulders and held her in place.

  “Libby! Talk to me!”

  She shook her head, trying to string the words together to form a sentence. “What do you want me to say?” she finally spat out.

  “Don’t you want to know why I was there?”

  She shook her head, tears burning her eyes. “I already know.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  She jerked free from his hold and looked up into his pleading face. “Then let me tell you what I saw. You were in a hotel room drinking champagne with a woman—in a hotel room!”

  “Yes! But it’s not how it looks. We were celebrating a business deal.”

  “In a hotel room?”

  “Yes!”

  “For a job you quit last Friday.”

  His face paled even more. “Yes, I was trying to get it back.”

  She put her hand on her hip, some of her fire returning. “Why didn’t you tell me you quit? How could you keep that from me? I begged you to tell me the truth before you left.”

  “I wanted to tell you—I was dying to tell you—but your problems seemed more important than mine. And then I figured if I could get the deal, it would be a moot point.”

  “My problems.”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “Libby, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant you were so upset over Mitch and the wedding, it just seemed like your issues took precedence over mine.”

  She ran over the details of the last couple of days in her head, looking at everything in a new light. “That woman was Tiffany.”

  He sucked in a breath. “Yes. How did—”

  “You sent her a Facebook friend request.” How could she have been so stupid? “She’s the reason we came to Vegas.”

  Fear filled his eyes. “Yes, but it’s only because her boss was coming too.”

  “Her nonexistent boss.”

  “Libby, please. You have to believe me. Nothing happened. I met with her boss and presented my proposal, then, thank God, he accepted.”

  “In her room.”

  He cringed. “Yes. Their room.”

  He was unbelievable! Did he really think she was that gullible? “So where was her boss, Noah?”

  “He was in the bathroom.”

  She shook her head. She’d heard enough. “Whatever.” She tried to walk around him, but he blocked her path.

  “How can you assume the worst of me after everything?” he demanded, sounding angry.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she shouted. “I caught you cheating and you’re accusing me of doing something wrong?”

  “I wasn’t cheating on you!” He groaned in frustration, then paused. “How did you even know where I was?”

  “Your girlfriend called and left a message with her room number.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend!” he shouted, pounding his fist into the wall.

  “You’re telling me you weren’t screwing her?”

  “No! If you would just listen to what I’m telling you, you’d know that!”

  Suddenly she had a moment of doubt. What if her insecurities were causing her to overreact? God knew Megan and Blair had her worked up . . . not to mention the memories of her father. Noah and the woman had both been fully clothed. But this was clearly not the first time they’d met. The woman had accepted his friend request while they were on their trip. “You knew her already. Have you screwed her before?” He started to protest, but she pointed her finger in his face. “Think carefully about your answer.”

  Fear washed over his face. “Libby.”

  Oh, God. “Answer the question, Noah.”

  “Yes. But it was last January. There is nothing going on now. I swear.”

  “You swear. You swear!” Her voice broke and she shoved his chest, but he was so much larger he barely moved, which only pissed her off more. “You lied to me!”

  “Only about my job, Libby, but I was trying to get it back. For you. So we could start our new lives together.”

  “How can I believe you?”

  “What reason have I given you to not trust me?” He grabbed his head with both hands. “Oh, my God, Libby! I love you! Can’t you see how much I love you? I would sooner die than cheat on you. You have to believe me!”

  “Why do I have to believe you?” she demanded. “So I can look like even more of a fool?”

  His eyes lit up like a struck match. “You’re just looking for a reason to break up with me.”

  “Excuse me? Are you really trying to pin this on me?”

  “I’ve never given you a reason to not trust me. Not one.”

  “You lied to me about your job!”

  “I didn’t lie, Libby! I just hadn’t told you because I was hoping to get it back. You kept telling me how proud you were of me and I k
new I needed to get my job back to take care of you. I didn’t want you to look at me with the same look of disapproval I always see in Josh’s eyes. I was planning to give the stupid account to Josh as a peace offering. For us.”

  She shook her head, more confused than ever.

  “This is what you do,” he said, his voice tight with anger. “You sabotage your relationships so they’ll never work out. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

  “Are you kidding me? You think you have me all figured out, Mr. I-Sleep-With-Every-Woman-I-Can-So-I-Don’t-Have-To-Commit.”

  “You’re wrong about one thing,” he said, quietly. “I made a commitment to you.”

  “I wished you’d never committed to me at all.”

  His mouth dropped open. “You don’t mean that.”

  “You are incapable of making a commitment, Noah McMillan, and I refuse to stick around so you play me for even more of a fool.”

  He couldn’t have looked more hurt if she’d pulled out a gun and shot him. “My father was right,” she said, her voice breaking. “No man will ever stay with me. They lie to get what they want, and once they get it, they’re gone. I’ll save you the trouble of slamming the door in my face.” She grabbed the handle of her suitcase again. “I’ll just leave first.”

  She rolled her case into the hall, fully expecting him to follow her, but he didn’t. Disappointment sucked the air out of her chest, making her light headed. What was she so upset about? She wanted him to leave her alone, right?

  She hit the button for the elevator, silently pleading with him to follow her, to fight for her. To convince her she was wrong.

  Then she heard him call out to her. “I thought you said you hadn’t seen your father since you were a baby.”

  She turned around to see him standing in the hall outside their room. “I guess that makes us both liars.”

  The elevator doors opened and she walked inside with her suitcase. When she turned around, Noah stood in the hall about thirty feet away. “Don’t leave me, Libby. Please.”

  “Wrong answer,” she whispered. But damned if she knew what the right one was.

  Then the elevator doors closed, Noah’s pain-stricken face disappearing behind it, and she felt more alone than she ever had in her life.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  The elevator doors closed and Noah felt the bottom of his world drop out—the sucking void threatening to swallow him whole. Did he run after her? Did he let her go?

  You don’t deserve her, the little voice in his head told him. You don’t deserve to win her back. This was how it was always going to end.

  Somehow he found himself back in their room. The bed was made. The used towels replaced. All evidence of her was gone.

  It was as though the last few days—the absolute best days of his life—had never happened.

  He wasn’t sure he could go on without her.

  What the fuck did he do?

  Part of him was devastated that she thought the worst of him. He wanted to be angry that she didn’t trust him, but how could he blame her? She was right. He’d never told her about quitting. How had she even found out?

  What did it matter?

  She knew he’d kept something huge from her, so why wouldn’t she think he was cheating? The kicker was that he’d closed the deal. Scott jumped on board as soon as he listened to Noah’s spiel. Turned out the competition had flaked out anyway. Tiffany had ordered a room service lunch for her and Scott, and to celebrate, they’d opened a bottle of champagne. And then, much to Noah’s misfortune, Libby had arrived at the exact moment Scott was in the bathroom.

  Would she have been this upset if she’d seen him? Maybe not, but he’d still kept the job situation from her.

  The phone in his pocket vibrated and he pulled it out, praying it was Libby calling to tell him she’d changed her mind.

  It was Tiffany.

  “Noah, did you get the misunderstanding resolved?”

  “No,” he said, his voice breaking.

  “Would it help if I called her and explained?”

  Would it? He shook his head even if she couldn’t see it. “No. I think it would make things worse.”

  “I’m so sorry. I should never have called your room.”

  He wanted to be angry with her, but he just couldn’t find the energy.

  “Let me do something, Noah. Tell me what to do.”

  “There’s nothing to do.”

  “She probably just needs time to calm down. Then you can work it out.”

  He wasn’t so sure that was possible. That look on her face . . .

  “Well, congrats on the deal.”

  “Thanks.” But now it was all for nothing. He’d mostly done it for Libby . . . and now she was gone. He knew he should be happy to have helped the business, but he couldn’t muster much emotion for that either.

  He considered leaving—he’d found a flight to Seattle for that night—but what if she changed her mind and came back? So he didn’t leave the room for the rest of the night. He found her wedding dress in the closet, puddled on the floor. Hope rushed through him. She loved the dress. Maybe she’d come back for it.

  He ordered room service in the evening and steadily drank all the bottles in the mini bar. By three a.m., he knew it was hopeless and passed out on the bed. When he awoke, she was the first thing on his mind. The wedding dress wasn’t next to him on the bed where he’d left it.

  Had she come back?

  He bolted upright and looked around the room, but the only thing he saw was the room service tray and half a dozen empty mini bottles of alcohol. The dress lay on the floor. He must have kicked it off in his sleep.

  Libby was really gone.

  He was back in Seattle by mid-afternoon and he headed straight to the office. Josh was sitting at his desk when Noah walked in.

  Josh looked up in surprise, a grin spreading across his face. “What are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you for at least a few days.” His gaze took in Noah’s rumpled clothes and his smile faded. “Why do you look like death warmed over?”

  Noah ignored him and tossed a file on his desk. “The Abrahams deal. Signed, sealed, and delivered.”

  Josh sat upright and his eyes widened as he opened the folder. “How’d you pull this off?”

  “What the hell does it matter? It’s all there. The payment schedule is worked out in there too.”

  Josh started thumbing through the papers. “So do you want to handle this here or in K.C.? Megan said Libby was moving here, but I figured I’d check.”

  Noah shook his head. “I’m not handling it at all.”

  Josh pushed back his chair and stood. “Wait. You just got this account. Why wouldn’t you want to handle it?”

  “In case you forgot, I quit last week.”

  “But the deal . . . ?” Josh sounded confused.

  “I got it for you. I thought I’d bring it in as a peace offering to get my job back, but now I don’t give a fuck.” He turned around. “Congrats.”

  “Noah!” Josh called out after him, his voice worried now. “You look like you’ve been on a three-day bender. What happened?”

  Noah spun around, furious. “As if you and Megan haven’t been laughing about it.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Look, Megan and Blair made no secret of the fact they don’t approve, so I’m sure they’re happy that Libby left me.”

  Josh’s mouth dropped open and his eyes widened in shock. “What? When? What happened?”

  “What does it matter? She came to her senses. Everyone’s happy.”

  Josh shook his head. “That’s not true, Noah. What happened?” His face went as pale as skim milk. “Oh, God. Megan. She told Libby about you quitting. She was upset you hadn’t told her.”

  His chest squeezed tight with her betrayal. “Megan hates me that much?”

  “No, Noah. That’s not it at all. She was just worried you two got married so quickly.” He held up his hands in defense. “An
d yes, I reminded her that she and I were married a hell of a lot faster.”

  Noah found it difficult to breathe.

  “But if Libby left you, where is she?”

  The answer was obvious. She would have gone to the only place she would feel completely safe. The thought that he’d hurt her so much brought a lump to his throat he found difficult to talk past. “She went home to Tortoise.”

  Josh blinked in confusion before recognition registered in his eyes. “Oh . . . her dog.”

  He nodded, then turned to leave.

  “Noah,” Josh called out in alarm. “Stop.”

  He stopped in Josh’s doorway. Their receptionist’s worried glance reminded him that he looked like a mess. He’d slept in his clothes from the day before—the smell of Libby was still faintly in the weave of shirt, and he couldn’t bear to change. That was the last part he had of her and once it was gone, she would be lost to him forever. The thought brought him close to a breakdown, but he didn’t even care. Let them think the worst . . . they probably already did.

  Josh grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the room, shutting the door behind them. He pushed Noah into a chair and then sat on the edge of his desk. “Noah, you have to go after her.”

  His brother’s words broke down his last layer of control and his chest heaved as he struggled to keep it together. “She hates me.” He heaved out a shortened version of the story, then said, “I tried to tell her nothing happened between Tiffany and me, but she refused to believe me.” A sob rented from his chest. “I deserve it. After everything I’ve done, all the people I’ve hurt, I deserve every bit of it.” He looked up at Josh with tear-filled eyes. “She’s the one good thing in my life and I hurt her so badly. I don’t deserve her.”

  Josh leaned toward him. “No, Noah. That’s not true. You deserve every bit of happiness and more.”

  Noah gritted his teeth as tears spilled from his eyes. “If you knew everything I’ve done, you wouldn’t be saying that.”

  “The women?” Josh shook his head. “They were all consenting adults who knew what they were getting into. You never lied or led them on, Noah. I know you well enough to know that.”