While We Waited

by Tammy Falkner

  “You’re making it damn hard.”

  She probes my dick with her fingertips, outlining the ridge of me. “Yep,” she says on a giggle. “Remember? It’s easy with me. No repeat performances. I won’t ask you for flowers. Or for promises. I won’t even ask you to hold me after.”

  “What if I want to?” It’s hard to think with her this close to me.

  “Want to what?” she murmurs against me. She replaces her tiny kisses with the tip of her tongue, and she licks across my stomach. My dick jumps.

  “What if I want to cuddle?” I ask.

  She freezes. Her eyes meet mine. “Why?”

  Because I seriously need to cuddle. I need for someone to act like they love me, even if it’s just for a minute. “I don’t know why,” I hedge. But I want it more than I want her to take my dick into her mouth. I want it more than I want to be inside her. My existence is a lonely one. And if she’s offering to take some of that away for a minute or two, I’ll take her up on it. But it can’t be just my dick slamming into her vagina. It has to be something I can feel. “I don’t know why…but I need it.”

  She nods. “I’ll give you twenty minutes.”

  “What?”

  “After you fuck me, I’ll let you stay for twenty minutes. Take it or leave it.”

  She slowly lowers my zipper. “Take it,” I whisper fiercely.

  She shoves my jeans and my boxers down in one motion, and then she tears a condom wrapper open with her teeth and rolls the condom down my length. I grit my teeth and try not to come in her hand. It has been a very long time since I’ve done this. And I’ve never done this. Not like this. Not with someone I don’t love.

  “Are you sure?” I ask. She was tipsy. “Are you still drunk?”

  She shakes her head. “No.” She crab-walks naked across the bed, and holds her arms out to me. “Stop being such a girl,” she says. She points to my dick. “That,” she says, and then she points to her pussy, which is pink and pretty and perfect and right in front of me, “goes here.”

  I nod and fall on top of her. I’m suddenly completely sober. And I’m entranced. She wraps her legs around me, taking control as she pulls me toward her. “Wait,” I say. “Slow down just a little.”

  She groans and flops her arms out flat on the bed. “You’re not one of them, are you?”

  “One of what?” I ask as I brush her hair back from her face.

  “One that wants to rock my world. One that wants to teach me how breathtaking lovemaking can be. One of the stupid people.”

  “No, I’m not one of them,” I say. I stare into her eyes as I press against her heat, sliding in her wetness. I press inside her slowly, afraid I’ll hurt her. Afraid I’ll do it wrong. Afraid I won’t please her.

  Her breath hitches and she clutches my hair in her fists. “More,” she says.

  She jerks my hair, chastising me without words for going too slow. I grab her wrists and press her hands to the bed, holding her in place with my own. I don’t want her to take over.

  “Stop,” I order. I stay still inside her. She pulls at my ass with her feet, but I refuse to move. “Stop,” I say again. I bend my head and bite her shoulder and she stares up at me.

  She freezes, and I see something move in her eyes. Something needy and vulnerable and wanting.

  “I’m not going to let you use me like you use the rest of them,” I say, and I rock my hips, sliding deep inside her.

  She fights my hands holding hers, and I just squeeze tighter. She laughs. “So you want to make love to me?” She rolls her eyes.

  I shake my head and then take her nipple into my mouth. It’s hot and hard and sweet against my tongue. She tips her hips, trying to get me to move. “No, I want to fuck you.” I sink as deep as I can go inside her, and a cry leaves her throat, tickling my ear. “I want to fuck you,” I say again. I pull out and slide back in, going as deep as I can go.

  If I say I want to fuck you a hundred more times, maybe I’ll believe it.

  She wiggles her fingers. “Let me touch you,” she says.

  I shake my head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you want to take control, and I don’t want to give it to you.” I pump my hips. She arches to meet me, giving me all of her.

  “You want to be in charge,” she says on a laugh, and it almost pushes me out of her. I burrow in deep and stop moving.

  “No.” I shake my head. “I just don’t want you to use me like the others. That’s all.”

  “You want to be special.” She drops her voice down to a purr. “You’re special, baby, just like all the rest.”

  I pull out of her and flip her over, then smack her ass as I sink inside her from behind.

  “Did you just hit me?” She stops moving. But her hands are fisted in the sheets, so I know she’s not angry. She’s turned on. Still.

  She arches her back and pushes against me, taking all of me, and I have to grit my teeth and work hard not to come.

  I slide my hand beneath her hip and find her pussy. In every porn flick I’ve ever seen, the guy goes straight for the clit. So, I go for it. She’s so wet she’s slippery, and I rub her nub. She lays her cheek on the bed and stares out to the side. I know I’ve found the right spot when her eyes close and her back arches. She pushes her bottom back to meet me. She’s so tight like this that I can barely keep from shooting my load inside her. I stop and roll her back over.

  “You’re going to give a girl whiplash with all this flipping back and forth,” she says on a laugh.

  “Nope. Just an orgasm,” I say. I hope. I push her legs open wide and stare down at her.

  She laughs. “Oh, you’re going to make me come like crazy, right?”

  I look up and heave a sigh. “Do you taunt every man you’re with like this?”

  Her smile fades.

  “No wonder no one comes back for seconds,” I say. I pull out of her, close her legs, and roll her to the side.

  She sits up and her jaw falls open. “Who the fuck do you think–”

  I point to my chest. “I’m the guy you’re fucking,” I say.

  “Well, not anymore,” she bites out.

  “No man in his right mind can take all that mouth,” I tell her.

  “My mouth just happens to be amazing,” she counters. “You want to try that?” But she’s already reaching for her robe, so I have a feeling that’s off the table.

  “Can I tell you something?” My heart is beating like mad.

  “Please enlighten me,” she replies, her tone pure acid.

  “I wanted to have sex with that girl who wrote the beautiful song and then climbed into my lap. She was beautiful and sexy and interesting.” And she promised she would cuddle with me after.

  She nods. “Then you found out what I’m really like.”

  “No. That’s just it.”

  She shushes me and glances toward the door like she’s afraid someone will hear us, so I try to be quiet.

  “That’s just it,” I whisper fiercely. “I didn’t find out what you’re really like. I found out how you want to be for all the rest of them.” I shake my head. “Never mind.”

  I pick up my jeans and shake them out.

  “Wait,” she says quietly. “I don’t understand.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “It’s like you’re playing a part. You’re working so hard to keep me from seeing you that I can’t get close to you at all. That’s all.”

  “I am not–”

  “Why did you want to fuck me?”

  Her voice is small. “Because you were here.”

  I nod.

  “There’s nothing wrong with a woman who just likes to have sex.”

  “I agree.”

  She walks by me and I grab her hips. I lift the edge of her robe and look at her ass. “My handprint is on your ass,” I say. I bend my head and bite it and she stops breathing.

  “I can’t believe you hit me.”

  “Neither can I.” I laugh and
nibble the curve of her bottom. “You want to try again?” I ask against her skin.

  She turns and climbs onto my lap, straddling me. She pumps my dick in her hand and then positions me at her heat. I hold my breath as she slides down my dick, taking me inside.

  Her arms wrap around my neck and she sucks my earlobe between her teeth, nibbling gently. I lick across the side of her throat and bite her skin ever so gently. Her pussy trembles around me. “You like that?” I ask.

  She doesn’t answer, but a hiss escapes her when I bend my head and take her nipple gently between my teeth. I watch her body, listen to her whimper, and realize what she does like just by paying attention.

  “I like your dick,” she says. She looks into my eyes as she rises and falls.

  “I like your pussy,” I say. I like it a lot. Too much, because my balls are already trying to crawl up my throat.

  “Then you should take a closer look at it.” She stops moving and lifts her brows, waiting for me to agree.

  I lift her off my dick and flip us over. Her legs fall open and she bites her lower lip between her teeth. Her pussy glistens with wetness and I spread her open with my thumbs. I lean down and blow across her clit. “Am I close enough?” I ask.

  Her hips rock and she threads her fingers into my hair, pulling my face closer. I lick across her clit and watch her reaction. She closes her eyes tightly, but she’s not making those happy noises. I find her clit and suck hard. She whimpers. Got her.

  I slide two fingers into her heat and crook them, looking for the squishy spot I read about in a book. I know when I find it, because I have to hold her hips to the bed. She bucks against my hand and I have to latch on hard to her clit to hang on. Suddenly, she goes still and a cry breaks from her throat, just as her pussy starts to quiver around my fingers. I make her ride it out, working her until she pushes me away.

  Her legs are like noodles when I close them and roll her onto her stomach. I cover her body with mine from shoulders to feet, and twine our hands together. She looks up at me, startled, but then she softens and lets me push my way inside. She cries out when I shove my length into her in one hurried stroke.

  “I’m sensitive after I come,” she whispers.

  “I’ll be careful,” I whisper back. I kiss her softly on her bare shoulder, and her arms bristle with goose bumps. I take her slowly and with care, and she’s soft as cotton under me. She turns her head and kisses me, her eyes meeting mine when she pulls back, and there’s something in her eyes that I don’t completely understand. “You okay?” I ask.

  She arches her back and pushes against me and I know then that she’s fine. “Can you make me come like this?”

  “Can I?” I ask.

  I lift her onto her knees and pull her ass back, holding her tightly at her hips, pulling her back to me, pounding hard, harder, harder.

  “Jesus,” I gasp. “You feel so good. I can’t hold off.”

  “Not yet,” she says. She looks at me over her shoulder, and her lips part. “Almost,” she breathes.

  I nod and screw into her, threading my fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck. I give it a tug and she cries out. I use her hair to turn her head. I want to see her face.

  “Now!” she suddenly cries.

  I come hard inside the condom, deep inside her, my toes curling with the force of my orgasm, as she shudders, milking me, drawing me in farther and farther. I stop, and her pussy pulls at me until she settles. She lets me slide out and falls against the mattress. I drop on top of her, not ready yet to let her go.

  She rolls and I fall down beside her, but then she pulls me to lay my head beneath her breasts. Her hands slide into my hair and she holds my head on her chest, her fingers gently abrading my scalp. “You have twenty minutes to cuddle,” she says.

  “Cuddling is for douchebags.”

  She yawns. “You have to get out of my room in nineteen and a half minutes.”

  “Shut up,” I say, stalling. “I need some post-coital comfort.”

  She laughs and my head rocks on her chest. “Is that anything like cuddling?”

  I kiss her belly and lay my face on her soft skin. She strokes my hair, her fingers playing against my scalp. I lift my head, resting my chin on the soft skin of her lower belly. “This is the best part,” I tell her.

  She snorts. “You keep telling yourself that.”

  ***

  Time passes, and she keeps rubbing my scalp. It has been a lot longer than twenty minutes and she hasn’t kicked me out yet. But then her hands get tired and heavy against my hair. I don’t move immediately. I am enjoying this peacefulness. There’s nothing more peaceful than being with a woman who has just had an orgasm or two. I don’t want to give this up. This is the part that matters.

  A soft snuffling sound escapes her mouth and I know she’s asleep. I cautiously sit up.

  I have things I need to do. I need to pack. And I need to get out of here before everyone gets up. The bed shifts when I roll, and she reaches for me. I press my lips to the back of her hand and hold it while she settles. Then I get up and pull my clothes on.

  I watch her as she lies there completely naked. She’s so beautiful. She’s tiny and curvy and her long dark hair is spread all over her pillow. I recall the way it felt when I tugged her head back, and my dick jumps. Fuck. I have to get out of here now or I never will.

  I pull the covers over her and stare down at her soft face. At a different time, in a different place…I could ask her out. I could try to turn it into something real. But I can’t. Not now.

  I zip my pants, let myself out of her room, and run straight into Lark, who is coming in the front door.

  Her brow arches. “You must have gone in the wrong door,” she says. She points toward my room. “Your room is that way.”

  “Good to know,” I mutter, and I go in there.

  I pack my things as quickly as I can, then stick my head into the hallway. The apartment is dark except for a light in the kitchen. I carry my duffle bag into the room and stare down at the kitchen table. The bank book. It’s why I came here. I have to take it. I can’t do what I have to do without it. I pick it up and slip it into my back pocket. She wanted me to have it, so it’s not wrong. Right?

  I stop outside Finny’s door and hesitate for a minute.

  “You should go,” Lark says from her own doorway.

  She startles me and my breath quickens. I nod. “I know,” I say quietly.

  “It’s better this way.”

  I nod again. “It is.”

  Lark’s door closes and I take a deep breath.

  It’s time to go. I have to go get my wife and son.

  Finny

  I stand on the other side of the door and listen to him talk to Lark. I’m still naked and I can smell his sweat on my body.

  I grab my robe and slide it on, the silk gliding against the skin he just gave goose bumps. I’ve been with a lot of men, but I’ve never had one take over my senses, not like he did. When he laid his head on my chest, I found myself reaching for him, needing to cuddle with him as much as he wanted to cuddle with me.

  And that’s not normal.

  I wanted to make him be just like all the others, but that didn’t happen. He was different, and I don’t like that he was.

  “You should go,” I hear Lark say through the crack in the door. I reach for the handle, but can’t force myself to turn it.

  “I know,” he says. His voice is rough and abraded, and I want to go to him and ask where he’s going.

  “It’s better this way,” Lark says.

  “It is,” he mutters.

  I hear footsteps and the shuffle of luggage as the front door opens. I press my ear to my bedroom door until I hear the front door close. Then I open my door.

  “Oh, Finny.” Lark sighs. “What did you do?”

  I tug the robe closed around my naked body and step into the hallway. “Did he leave?” I whisper. I don’t want Wren to hear me.

  “Yes.” Lark leans a
gainst the wall and tilts her head like she’s tired. “He’s gone.”

  My heart trips a beat. “Okay.” I force out a nonchalant shrug I don’t feel.

  “What did you do?”

  I look down at the floor. “Nothing.” I jerk my eyes up to hers. “He’s, like, all the way gone?”

  She nods. “Like, took his bags and left.”

  “Oh.” My heart sinks and I don’t know why. “Okay.”

  “You had sex with him?” She stares hard at me.

  “Well, yeah…” I probably need to explain–

  She rushes to chastise me. “He’s not just some random guy.”

  No. He’s not. “I know.” I know it the hard way. “He’s really gone?” I look toward the front door like he’s going to walk back in.

  She nods. “Yes. He took Wren’s bank book.”

  “Oh, fuck.” I lay my fingertips over my mouth. “Does she know?”

  Lark shakes her head. “Not yet.” She narrows her eyes at me. “Why him, Finny?”

  “Just to see if I could, I think.” My voice is so quiet. “Something wasn’t right about him.”

  “He’s their brother.”

  “I know.” I lay a hand on my chest. “He’s not related to me, you know.”

  She holds up a hand to thwart my objection. “I know that.”

  “Are you going to tell them I fucked him?”

  She heaves out a breath and shakes her head. “What good would that do anybody?”

  It wouldn’t do anyone any good at all.

  But I still can’t believe he just took off and left like that.

  Tag

  Two months later

  I hold Julia’s hand with one of mine and wipe her brow with a cold wet washcloth. “I hate you!” she screams at me. She’s been doing this for about an hour, and I’m pretty used to it by now. “I’m glad I never have to see you again after today.”

  The delivery nurse shoots me a glance. They know about our crazy situation. But I keep hoping that Julia is going to change her mind, that she’ll want to have something to do with our son after today. Our time together is over, but theirs doesn’t have to be.

  Another contraction wracks her body, and she squeezes my hand so tightly that I wince and pry her fingers away.