ADS 01 - The Accidental Demon Slayer ds-1

by Angie Fox

  The thought made me shiver despite myself. I didn’t want to think about what I could lose. “They’ve got Grandma.”

  “I know,” she said softly. “I felt it when they took her.”

  “We have to fix it.” Together, we’d have a better chance at defeating Vald.

  “No, Lizzie. We’re getting out of here. End of story,” she said, snagging the hotfoot spell that hovered at her ankle. “Gertie chose her path, and now she’s living with the consequences. You can still have a normal life.”

  “Is this because Grandma tried to kill you?” I blurted. Real smooth, Lizzie. “I mean, everyone thinks she murdered you. I know you must have had a falling out, but she’s your mom and—”

  “Lizzie,” she barked. Boy, it didn’t take her long to find her “mom” voice. “Your grandma and I have had our issues, but we never came to blows. She helped me escape.” Mom held on to the doorknob of the pilot’s house, as if she didn’t want me to see what lurked inside. “Just like I’m doing for you. You can still have a normal life.”

  I couldn’t believe she wanted me to abandon Grandma. “Like you?”

  “Yes. I write a small society column for a newspaper in Freeburg.”

  Where was a good choking spell when I needed it? “You can’t just barge in here, scare the pants off me and try to get me to abandon the only real family I’ve ever had.” Yeah, I knew it probably hurt her, but I wanted to at the moment.

  “Drop the switch stars. Leave this place. Come live with me in my condo in Freeburg. I’ll take you to the Lone Star Café and we’ll talk about how you can have a new life without fifth-level demons, black souls or werewolves.” Poor Fang. “So you saw that too?” I asked, noticing a frozen underwear hovering near her left hip.

  “I’m so sorry it ended badly.”

  “Me too.” I caught a giggler and sent it to join the mustard-colored smoke drifting skyward.

  “I had no idea they’d blame the poisonings on you.”

  Say what? If she wasn’t my mother, I think I would have hurled a switch star. “You poisoned the wolves?”

  “I had to get you out of there,” she said, as if that was any kind of excuse. “You were too close to completing your training.” She pursed her lips, then said, “Do you know it took your Great-great Aunt Evie a decade to master the Three Truths? Granted, she started at the age of nine, but still! She sat around for the next eleven years, waiting to turn thirty. And you, you zip right through and want to go face a fifth-level demon? For crying out loud, Lizzie, I wouldn’t be surprised to see you go after the devil himself. And for what? You don’t need this. It’s a horrible, horrible life.”

  She’d sent me to join Cliff and Hillary in their perfect world, then she’d gone on to create a similar nirvana for herself. I couldn’t have turned out any more different from each and every one of them. But it didn’t matter now. We needed to focus on fixing this thing with Vald. “Help me save Grandma. You don’t want to lose her. I know you don’t.”

  A sad smile played across her features. “I’d rather lose her than lose both of you. I’m sure she’d say the same thing, Lizzie. She wouldn’t want you going down there unprepared, and you’ll never be good enough to face a fifth-level demon.”

  Okay, that stung. She looked at me like I was the most pitiful thing she’d ever seen.

  “But I’m a demon slayer.”

  “So was I.”

  My brain buzzed as I tried to process that last thought.

  “You what?”

  “That’s beside the point.”

  “Oh no, no, no. Tell me right now what you’re talking about, or I’m going to leave you and this conversation right now.”

  “I’m the chosen one,” she said, as if she was about to tell me I needed to have a root canal. “I mean, count it out. Take it from your Great Aunt Evie, who was actually your Great-great, Great Aunt. Then her twin sister, Edna, but we don’t count her because a demon stole her soul right after training. Skip three generations and you have me. And then, well, by accident—you.”

  Nobody had ever put it that way before.

  “What do you mean I was an accident?”

  “I was smarter than they were,” she said, a little too deviously. “I studied everything they gave me, and I did more. I talked to everyone I could—visiting sorcerers, black magicians, warlocks. They thought I was a prodigy. And I learned things all right,” she said with a wicked smile. “I learned how to beat it.”

  Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the mule. She foisted her destiny off—on me?

  “It’s the only way,” she insisted, daring me to judge her.

  I couldn’t believe it.

  “Let me get this straight,” I said, rubbing my temples to keep my head from pounding out of my skull. “You were overwhelmed with your enormous powers, powers your loving family had trained you to use. So you dumped them on me, then scuttled me off to an adoptive family while you ran?”

  She didn’t even pretend to look guilty. “It was the only way.”

  “Bullshit.” I needed to get off this boat. I stormed for the main staircase, nearly tripping over a stubbed toe spell. Mom chased me, setting off three frozen underwears. Served her right.

  She ignored them as we clattered down the ornate iron staircase. “Stop being unreasonable, Lizzie. I thought if I hid you, you’d never know what I was or what you are. It didn’t work. I admit that. We can still be a family and figure out a way to end the slayer line for good.”

  I came to a halt on a small landing, tears welling in my eyes. For the love of Laconia, I couldn’t let her get to me. As a kid, I’d daydream about what it would be like to meet my real mom. She’d be beautiful and strong and not afraid of anybody. Instead, she was everything I feared I’d become.

  I didn’t know if I had the strength or the courage to defeat Vald. But unlike my mom, I knew I had to try.

  “Run with me,” she insisted. “We can find a way for you to reject your powers.”

  As much as I never wanted this, and as much as I’d always wanted my real mom, I couldn’t have it this way. I needed her and she’d abandoned me. I wasn’t about to leave Grandma in the same position.

  “No, Mom,” I said, wiping my runny nose on Dimitri’s T-shirt. “I’m going to face Vald. You want to make a difference? Help me.”

  She fiddled around in her purse, her makeup cases clacking together while she rifled through lipsticks and who knew what else. “Here.” She jabbed a lipstick-smeared hankie at me. “Wipe your nose.”

  Ew. These germ magnets should have been outlawed as soon as Kleenex was invented. But Mom seemed ready to wipe my nose for me if I let her. I found a clean-looking spot and dabbed to be polite. The hankie smelled like jasmine with a side of pickle relish. Strange. Mom drew a fragile breath as my world went black.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ant Eater thwacked me in the head. “Do I gotta watch you every goddamned second?”

  I dragged my arms over my eyes, fighting the hangover of the century. My skull felt like an anchor on the hard, wooden deck. I was with my mom and she…son of a submariner, she drugged me. “Watch out for Phoenix,” I muttered. “She has a hankie.”

  “Did you hit her with a Brain Stealer?” Frieda demanded. “Oh, I’d like to hit her with a lot worse than that,” Ant Eater countered, nudging me with her toe. I squinted my eyes open. The sunset cast low shadows over the deck of the Dixie Queen. Ant Eater, Frieda and about six other witches stood over me, forming a circle of curious faces. A white bandage tented Ant Eater’s nose and gauze stuffed each swollen nostril. She must have beaten the giggle spell into submission. She glared at me from under two black eyes.

  My heart thumped. I could feel my pulse throbbing through my body, against the moldy deck. Mom hadn’t stolen me away. Thank God. I didn’t know what I would have done if—“Where’s Mom?”

  Even Frieda managed to look annoyed at that. “She had a transport portal set up in the pilot’s room. Lucky for us she decided to suck y
ou down feetfirst. Sorry about your shoes. Ant Eater here hit her with a Hairy Ball.”

  “I was saving it,” she grunted. “Lucky for you that bitch deserved it more. There’ll be Bigfoot sightings in Fresco for sure.”

  “Don’t call my mom a bitch,” I said, struggling to sit up. Pain spiked through my head, making my mind swim for a moment. I’d lost my oxfords. Socks too. “Thanks for stopping her, though.” I didn’t know what I’d do if she’d kept me from Grandma.

  Ant Eater sniffed, then winced. “Don’t thank me, sugar lips. He’s the one who got us up here.”

  Just when I didn’t think my head could feel any worse, Dimitri stepped into my line of vision, his travel bag slung over his shoulder. Of course he hadn’t taken the time to throw on a shirt. Damn the man. The hard plane of his abdomen disappeared into the dirty jeans slung low over his hips. Hurt, disappointment, heaven knew what else churned into a heavy black lump in my stomach. He looked contrite, sad, serious, all of the things I’d expect. And it pissed me off anyway.

  “We were going to do a quick ceremony to polish up your aura,” Frieda said, squatting down to brace me in a sitting position. “But we didn’t see any possum on the way over.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. It was a sad, sad day when this sort of stuff started making sense. “Don’t worry about it, Frieda,” I said. I’d hoped for whatever help they could give me tonight, wanted it. But in the end, it came down to one thing. I had to trust myself. I had to let go, accept my powers, trust the universe.

  I also had to watch out for my mother, or a hairy version thereof. Something told me I’d be seeing her again.

  Scarlet popped a hard, red candy in my mouth. It tasted like strawberry cream soda and danged if it didn’t work wonders on my magical hangover. As the throbbing eased and the cobwebs cleared, I lurched to my feet. “How much time do we have?” I asked, purposely avoiding Dimitri’s gaze.

  Ant Eater furrowed her thick eyebrows, suspicious—as she should have been—at my asking. “It’s almost six o’clock now…” She added in her head. “Just over an hour.”

  That couldn’t be right. “I thought our window of opportunity opens at midnight.”

  “That’s hell central time,” she said, winding her watch. “We’re five hours behind.”

  Naturally. “Well, in that case, I have something to do.”

  Frieda knitted her brows. Ant Eater scowled. And Dimitri? I didn’t give a flying fart what he thought as I sauntered barefoot off the Dixie Queen and made tracks for my Harley.

  “You went shopping?” Pirate had chased my bike for the last quarter mile as I made my way back to the Dixie Queen. Pirate danced in place as I yanked off my helmet and climbed off the bike. Strings of lights illuminated the decks of the Dixie Queen as it bobbed in the ominously swelling current of the Yazoo River.

  “Hey, I needed shoes.” I was almost glad my mom’s escape portal had sucked off my boring oxfords. My new black boots were comfy and kick-ass.

  Pirate jumped up against one of my boots and slid right off the polished leather. “Those witches are going to bust a gut when they see you.” He followed me as I strode toward the boat. “And did you know they have salami?”

  “Look—sturdy heels. These are definitely me,” I said, more to myself than my twelve-pound terrier. Pirate had moved on to chasing fireflies.

  On the ride over this morning, I’d passed a shop in Greenville. A black awning with flames had invited The Inner Vixen to stop by for a look-see. I straightened my purple plaid miniskirt. I had to admit, it felt good.

  Dimitri’s emerald felt hard and heavy against the hollow of my neck. I didn’t buy the skirt with him in mind. Okay. Maybe I did. He needed a reminder of what he’d lost. Besides, it had shorts underneath, kind of like the field hockey skirts I wore in high school. I’d be able to move a lot easier than I would in pants and, well, my legs are my best feature. Dimitri deserved to suffer. I topped off my kick-butt demon slayer outfit with a leather sports bra that looked more like a corset than anything. Still, it was comfortable, I could move, and I couldn’t pass up the purple prairie clovers climbing up the sides. They were, after all, the sacred symbol of my demon-slayer line. I stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago.

  Ant Eater’s head popped out over the main deck. “Are you trying to piss me off?”

  Pirate cocked his head to the side. “I think she wants us in there now.”

  I scooped him up and jogged over the rickety boards they’d found to replace the rusted gangplank. Let Ant Eater holler. For the first time, I felt like the demon slayer everyone said I would be. And while my nerves jangled at the idea of facing Vald tonight, another teeny, tiny part of me screamed to let me at him.

  On the main deck, the witches worked in teams. Two groups had set up on the walkways to the deck, intercepting curious spells. Good thing I’d gotten rid of most of them, especially the Chokers. Another group had chalked off a large pentagram near the shuffleboard court. They sprinkled bits of gobbledygook and chanted. Ant Eater conferred with Scarlet. Dimitri was nowhere to be found. Probably lurking somewhere below deck. And if not? My heart sank. It would be easier without him.

  “Nice skirt,” Ant Eater sniggered.

  “And here I thought you’d have something useful to say,” I told her.

  “You wish. Here.” Ant Eater shoved a thick black belt into my hands. The leather had cracked with age. It looked like a utility belt of some kind, with small cases attached.

  “What is this?”

  “Just something I stole from Phoenix. It was your Great-great Aunt Evie’s.”

  “She brought this with her today?” Maybe I could convince my mom to help.

  “Nah. I took it after she fucked us over in ’78. Phoenix don’t want to be a demon slayer. She don’t get the damned belt.” Ant Eater focused on Scarlet again. She’d clearly had enough of me. “Now leave me alone.”

  I settled on one of the observation benches and studied the belt. It seemed to be a demon slayer tool belt of sorts. There was a slot for switch stars to the right of the crystal buckle. Inside the pouches, I found colored powders, stones, a cache of vibrating crystals. Maybe Mom was right. I didn’t know what I was doing.

  The belt felt about ten degrees cooler than everything around it. I popped another lid off one of the cases. “Stop!” a voice screeched and slammed the lid back down.

  Pirate rushed to my side so fast he slid right past me and spun out behind the next bench. “What was that? You want me to eat it?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said, yanking at the clasp I’d opened. It wouldn’t budge. I hoped I could handle this.

  “Okay, people!” Ant Eater hollered. “Countdown is on. Five minutes. Move it or lose it!”

  As the witches rushed to complete their tasks, I fastened the chilly leather belt around my waist.

  “Ready, slick?” Ant Eater thumped me on the back.

  I nodded.

  “Easy, Frieda,” she called. Ant Eater leaned close enough for me to get a whiff of her garlic-tinged breath. “We’re borrowing power from the portal your mom made. Makes for a stronger thread. We won’t lose you as easy.”

  “Don’t,” I said. I knew she was baiting me, but she’d hit too close to the truth. I could feel Dimitri’s eyes on me. He was here, no question about it. He rumbled in the background of everything I did, like an unstoppable freight train.

  “I don’t know whether to hitch a transport spell to his ass or get you guys another room.”

  The way he’d acted? “Transport.”

  She let out a grunting chuckle and dug into the pocket of her chaps.

  “I was only kidding,” I told her. “Really.” I cringed as she shoved a purple noodle of a spell into the pocket of my brand-new skirt.

  The witches moved in sober silence, a far cry from the laughter I’d witnessed in the basement of the Red Skull. They were worried. So was I.

  I hugged my doggy tight. “You listen to Bo
b, okay? And don’t eat too much salami.”

  He burrowed his head under my armpit. “Oh now, Lizzie. You know I can’t stand it when you leave and you used to just leave for the grocery store and now you’re leaving and I don’t know if I’m ever going to see you again.”

  I kissed him on the head. “You will,” I said, hoping I was right.

  “I’m sorry, Lizzie,” Bob said, “but we’re going to have to chain him.”

  I did it myself. My doggy whimpered while I looped Bob’s old ferret chain once, twice around a nearby bench and clipped the leash to Pirate’s collar. Pirate watched me with big, sad eyes as I joined the witches in the semicircle.

  Bob eased a Styrofoam cup from the brown paper bag in his lap. Ice ringed the top and steam bellowed from the wide opening.

  “Liquid nitrogen,” Ant Eater told me. “We have to get the portal cold enough. Bet this part was a bitch for Evie in 1883.”

  We watched as Frieda used a pool cue from the game room to draw a glowing, yellow orb from the pilot house. She carried it toward the center of the pentagram. The five-pointed star cast faint glimmers of blue and silver magic. It offered protection, control. I needed every bit of it tonight.

  “Any last words?” Ant Eater slapped me on the back. “Just kidding,” she said. “Don’t fuck up.

  “Two minutes to midnight in hell!” she hollered to the group.

  “Aw. Shit!” The orb bobbled on Frieda’s stick before she lost her grip on it.

  Oh no.

  “Somebody catch it!” Bob hollered.

  We scrambled for the orb as it zoomed low over the deck and hovered, out of her reach, over the back end of the boat.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Frieda dangled over the back rail in a vain attempt to capture the dancing ball of energy. I grabbed the pool cue from her and thrust it for the portal. It flitted out of my reach.

  “What do we do now?” I shoved the cue at Dimitri, who also failed. We had to get that thing into the center of the pentagram.