Ride To The Edge (Lucifer's Saints MC) (Rough Riders MC Series Book 4)

by Selene Chardou

  Without fail, any time I had a doubt about her father, she would hurt me as if to say, “You stupid bitch—don’t ruin my life before I get out!”

  I chuckled to myself. “Let’s take a lunch break, guys.”

  “Didn’t you want to practice Katy Perry’s ‘E.T.’ since you’re ending the concert with it?” Seth questioned snidely.

  “Nope. I could sing that song in my sleep. If you don’t wanna do the Kanye part then Linx can. He sounds more like a rapper than you anyway.” I began to walk off the stage as Seth grabbed one of my arms.

  “Let go of me,” I snapped.

  “Fine, Linx can do the Kanye part but . . .” he trailed off and looked past me.

  I glared in the direction he was staring to see a pissed off Gisela holding Kaelan tightly to her while Jaden and Faith stood several feet away from her.

  “God, you were always such a fucking coward,” I murmured under my breath in Seth’s direction. “Is it no wonder why I dumped you?”

  I took the stairs carefully but strode down the walkway like I owned the coliseum. How dare he just show up with that skank and think he could see Kaelan any time he wanted!

  For God’s sake, he had no parental rights!

  As far as the law was concerned, Kaelan belonged to Hardy and me.

  I approached warily, not knowing what he and his emotional vampire of a girlfriend—oops, fiancée, since he’d broke the news on Octane XM Radio he was engaged to be married to the bitch and they were expecting their first child. I supposed he failed to count all the kids she threw away via abortion but hey, it was his life to live, and I wanted no fucking part of it.

  Gisela saw me approach, and in true lawyer form, she stepped between me and the two fucking assholes I wanted out of my workspace. One was a former drug addicted liar who’d played me for a fool and the other was a cum bucket, trash-talking skank that didn’t even deserve to be in my presence.

  “Both of you need to leave,” I said without any preamble. “You’re not allowed to be here and you have absolutely no right to see Kaelan.”

  “Just because I’m having Jaden’s baby doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a relationship with Kaelan.” Faith’s tone lacked warmth as she patted her belly. Apparently she was further along than I’d known since she had a sizeable bump.

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with Kaelan and you both know it.” I could feel my blood pressure rising and I knew it wasn’t good for the baby. I didn’t want to suffer from preeclampsia and the stress between seeing my ex with the woman he’d decided was better than me after all wasn’t working.

  “Listen,” Gisela interrupted gently as she placed a firm hand on my back while still holding Kaelan in her other arm. “This is not the time nor the place for this discussion. If you want to see your son, Jaden, I advise you to pursue legal avenues rather than threaten your ex—who is also pregnant—and can’t take the stress of having you around.”

  “Fuck off, you stupid bitch!” Jaden shouted in her face. “You think I don’t know what happened—how I don’t even have rights to my kid anymore because that cunt you’re comforting took my parental rights away! When were you gonna tell me Hardy adopted our son, Tal? Yeah, never, that’s when you no good, man-eating whore.”

  That’s all I needed to hear before I absolutely went mental. “Oh? I’m a whore now? Not that cock sucking, toxic-waste bitch beside you? The only reason we’re not together is because you didn’t want to make a choice, Jaden. You wanted us both, and I’m not good with sharing. You might have strung me along for a while but it’s over! And yes, I did have my husband adopt Kaelan because he’s a better influence on our son than you could ever be you twisted, weak son of a bitch!”

  “What the hell is going on?” a voice roared. I didn’t even have to turn around to know it was Hardy. Not only had be brought back up in the form of Cillian and Trey but all three men looked pissed off. The fact that Jaden was brothers with two of the men while the other was his uncle didn’t bode well for him.

  Faith visibly flinched. Her auburn hair with blonde highlights looked a little dull as her complexion turned fish-belly white and her gray-green eyes paled. She held tighter to Jaden but with his stereotypical, lean rocker form, he couldn’t hold a candle to the three men facing him who were all in much better physical condition than he was. Their bodies were built, muscles visibly seen through the jeans and t-shirts they wore. They’d left their cuts off but it didn’t matter. One would have to be dumb and blind to not know they were in a motorcycle club.

  Tattoos snaked up and down their arms, they all had tans from the weather and riding on their Harleys, and the heat emanating from their bodies did nothing but exude intimidation and trouble for anyone who happened to get in their way.

  I knew Hardy had a meeting with Brad, head of the Knights MC Vegas charter earlier that day but he had also been by to see Eve, my aunt. She never left him in a good mood and he was aching to take that aggression out on anything or anyone.

  My eyes wandered toward Gisela who stood stoic yet strong as Hardy gently took Kaelan from her arms. She had twins of her own in a pram she was keeping an eye on but that no longer became an issue once her old man stood not even a few feet from her. Cillian was much more protective of his wife than any blood brother or club member for that matter. After all, it was common knowledge they would one day run all of Lucifer’s Saints together. Their unity could not be denied, and neither could the trust and respect they had for one another.

  “Listen, I just came by to see my kid, all right?” Jaden walked backwards a bit, holding on to Faith for dear life. “I didn’t realize that was crime.”

  “It is when you have no say over said kid,” Trey replied though his intense eyes were hidden behind a pair of blacker-than-black Ray-Bans. “Listen, bro, Kaelan isn’t yours anymore. That whole deal ended when the courts got involved. He may be your son, technically, but you have no rights to him what so ever. Respect your uncle—our uncle—and allow him to raise his family in peace.”

  “What? So I’m supposed to roll over like you did like a little bitch?” Jaden shouted as his face turned puce with anger. “You might have let that son of bitch keep your daughter just so family secrets wouldn’t spill out but I won’t go quietly—I fuckin’ swear I will make you all pay.”

  “I didn’t let anything happen,” Trey continued calmly. “The child you are referencing to was born in wedlock to Cillian and his ex ol’ lady. I don’t have any parental rights and that’s why I got myself an ol’ lady who is pregnant with our child. Looks like yours is in the family way too. Leave it at that, Jaden. What ever kind of rights you might have earned in the past when it came to Kaelan ended a while ago. You made your choice and now you have to live with it. No use makin’ Tal and Hardy suffer for your stupidity.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Faith exclaimed though her voice lacked any conviction. She rubbed her stomach for emphasis as if she feared the big, bad bikers might attack her in her present condition.

  “Actually, Trey knows exactly what he’s talking about.” Hardy finally spoke.

  I looked at him while those gorgeous crystal blue eyes grew hard with certainty. He was tired of the games. He seemed much older than his thirty-plus years—not in the looks department but the way he held his stance, claimed the power his position in the family gave him, and wouldn’t dare back down to a little fucking puppet like his nephew.

  When he walked over and took Gisela’s place in comforting me by placing his hand tight around my growing bump, I immediately felt safe. He had that calming effect on me that no other man ever had. He made me feel protected and adored—he truly wanted me to take a back seat to him but not because he was a bully. He considered himself a strong man with good core values, and with him, I didn’t have to be strong all the time. I didn’t have to be the HBIC—head bitch in charge. I could relax and feel like a woman who needed someone to balance the rage and anger that sometimes took over me to the poi
nt where I couldn’t see through it.

  He was perfect for me and perhaps that’s why it hurt me even more that I couldn’t tell him I loved him, and appreciated everything he did for me. I was afraid the bubble might burst and I would be left with another shit relationship like I had with both Seth and Jaden.

  I wasn’t stupid. I knew it didn’t make any sense. I’d married the man for Christ’s sake and we were expecting a child of our own. Hardy was cold, calculating, aggressive, cruel and with a mean streak a mile long. He lacked the ability to forgive trespasses against him and he believed in vengeance—an eye for an eye. It was the reason why he and Ronan ran the Vegas Lucifer’s Saints charter with such precision and skill.

  However, he never acted that way with me. He treated me like I was the most precious part of his life and his love for me extended to Kaelan as well. Despite not even giving a damn about his nephew, he could love that child because he was a part of me, and he treated him like his own son. One day, if I was lucky, I wanted to give him a son that would be completely his and seal the deal between us. I was tired of the back and forth. Did I or didn’t I love him? It wasn’t a difficult question but one I couldn’t seem to answer.

  I knew I did but the words were like a glob of phlegm, stuck in my throat and I was unable to say them out loud.

  He could never know how much it pissed me off to have this part of my soul that was so fractured, so fucking broken—and two men were the cause of it. I’d have to get over it if I wanted the relationship between us to survive.

  Existing with him in a dark, twisted paradise was perfect for me but sooner or later, children needed light and hope. It wasn’t just about us anymore, and neither was my decision to trust, respect, and care for him as deeply as it was possible for me to do so.

  In overly analyzing the situation between Hardy and me, I hadn’t realized that Kasper Gillian—lead singer of Scarlet Fever and half-brother to Jaden via a dalliance with another woman Dizzy had an affair with—and his Norwegian heiress wife, Sydney, had shown up. What had begun as a disagreement between two parents had turned into a full-on circus at the Vogue Casino and Hotel Coliseum.

  Not that it should have surprised me since Sydney spent more than her fair share of time on the Strip overseeing the casino her family was building not too far down Las Vegas Boulevard. It was an ode to her grandfather and would leave more of a legacy to her already outrageously wealthy family than any ship her ancestors had ever built. The woman had more money than God, and the Landvik Casino, Hotel and Spa would be without a doubt one of the most luxurious places to stay—easily rivaling Vogue, the Cosmopolitan, and the older established casinos like Caesars Palace and MGM Grand.

  I knew I had nothing to fear with their arrival but Sydney looked far from happy and every bit the cold businesswoman she’d become since hooking up with Kaz. She’d recently delivered their second child—his third counting the son he had by his ex-wife—and glared at Jaden like he was a piece of shit. Kaz had taken a similar position so it was obvious if anyone had made the call to him, it was someone from our side and not his.

  “Oh, Syd, thank God you’re here to talk some sense into this hooligans!” Faith exclaimed as she rubbed her pregnant belly, obviously playing the victim card a little too strongly. “Tell her—” She pointed in my direction as if she couldn’t remember my name, “that Jaden should be allowed to see his son!”

  Gisela shook her head. “Sydney, this is not a dog fight you want any part of—either way, your reputation will be tarnished and you have a casino to open in less than three months.”

  “Thank you for stating the obvious, as my attorney,” Sydney began in a cool voice, “but I barely know the woman I’m staring at now. In another life, she was a good friend and someone I cherished but that seems like ages ago. Faith, we have no ties, and calling me on behalf of domestic disputes you helped cause won’t change my mind.”

  “But we have been friends forever and you’re goin’ to choose this guinea bitch over me?” she exclaimed while giving me the evil eye.

  “You’re one to call anyone names, Faith. Your name should be dread because that’s all you bring to anyone’s life.” Sydney looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. “I’ll never take your side over Talia’s—in fact I provided a deposition in her favor during the whole adoption arrangement. Whatever you think you would hear from me was absolutely mistaken on your part.”

  “Jaden, if you don’t stop harassing Talia, I’ll have no choice but to fire you from the band. This has gone on too long, and everyone is sick of it.” Kasper could barely meet his brother’s amber eyes as I watched with amazement, and it was something he’d thought long and hard about. “We toured with Winter’s Regret for Christ’s sake and you’re ruining everything! We both have gigs here in Vegas but they aren’t gonna last forever and when we get ready to get back on the road, do you think anyone will want anything to do with us after this spreads through out the rock n’ roll community? You forget how bad news travels fast and your behavior is abhorrent—”

  “That’s not all he’ll lose, mate.” Hardy crossed his tattoo-laden arms across his muscled chest. “You think Dizzy was kiddin’ about disowning you, boy? I’ll make goddamn sure he motherfuckin’ does after the stunt you fuckin’ pulled today. You come here, stress my ol’ lady out who is pregnant, and cause this whole fuss for what? For some fuckin’ kid you don’t give a rat’s ass about because if you fuckin’ did, you woulda kept your dick in your pants and I wouldn’t be warmin’ the bed of the woman you left with no concern at all with your seed, you stupid cunt!”

  Jaden’s mouth opened to respond but Hardy cut him off.

  “I don’t wanna hear your excuses about why you and my ol’ lady didn’t work out because I don’t give a fuck. The problem is you cared more about that crack whore beside you than you ever cared about a good woman and the mother of your fuckin’ kid so guess what, tough guy? You have no goddamn kid. Accordin’ to the State, Kaelan is mine and I’m his motherfuckin’ father you son of a bitch. I adopted him you daft cunt so get the fuck outta here . . . now . . . or there will be blood shed and you best believe it won’t be fuckin’ mine.”

  I didn’t even bother to look at Jaden as I grabbed Hardy’s free hand and squeezed it. I knew he was under a lot of stress and pressure. He was also beyond pissed off and needed to calm down in the worst of ways.

  Unlike most men, he simmered before he erupted but when it got to that point, it was too late and no one could stop the tornado that was Hardy. He shot first and asked questions later—whether it be with his fists or a gun. The man had two speeds: calm and absolutely livid. Despite him and Jaden sharing blood, I didn’t want to see him livid because he’d end up dead or in the hospital on life support after Hardy got through with him.

  “This isn’t over,” Faith said in a snark-filled voice. “We’ll see the two of you in court—”

  “Not if you two wanna keep breathin’,” Cillian merely replied coldly.

  “And not if you want to keep your job in Scarlet Fever,” Kaz offered in an icy tone. “This is your last warning, bro. The next one you get will be courtesy of Introspect’s attorneys terminating your contract with the group. Your behavior is out of control and I refuse to deal with it any longer.”

  The next few moments, all I could hear was the steady beat of my own erratic heartbeat before Jaden grabbed Faith’s hand and they both walked off together. After that, everyone started to disburse on their own, but not without assuring me that they would protect me at all costs.

  What. The. Fuck.

  When did I ever show enough weakness to ask any of them to have my back? I could take care of myself whether I was Hardy’s old lady or not. I tried not to let them see their comments annoyed me because I didn’t want to be the ultimate feminist bitch—one that was so strong she wouldn’t take help under any circumstances when I secretly knew this whole issue wasn’t over.

  It would never end as long as I had a child by Jaden. Those
were just the cold hard facts. I didn’t deny his love for his own biological son but I knew he couldn’t take care of Kaelan any better than he’d taken care of himself over his twenty-something years. He was a few years from being thirty but he still acted like a teenager in every aspect in his life.

  I knew he’d innately taken back Faith because she allowed him to indulge in his fantasies and act out his childish temper tantrums while she quietly controlled their relationship. That wasn’t and never could be. I called him out on his bullshit and made him grow up or basically told him there would be no me and him. Obviously, my ultimatum was too much because he’d made his decision and I no longer had any fucks to give.

  Did the fucker break my heart? Fuck yeah but I was done. I’d moved on . . . but had I? Why couldn’t I just love Hardy without waiting for a shoe to drop as if he was anything like his nephew?

  “Babe, let’s get home. You need some rest after this afternoon.” He wrapped his arms around my neck.

  I sank into his backwards embrace. “Okay.”

  “You sure you’re okay to perform tonight?” His rough hands felt assuring as they skimmed my arms softly.

  “Yeah. It’s one our last concerts until we come back in 2017. I owe it to the fans—”

  “You mean it’s your last concert in Vegas until 2017. You and the band are going back into the studio and you’ll be performing selected dates around the country after you give birth.” His strong arms shifted to my waist, caressing my baby bump. She seemed to coo, knowing it was her father who was giving her attention. A daughter who would worship her father and the ground he walked upon.

  I didn’t know what that felt like because I was always closer to my mother than my father though his Northern Italian heritage had given way to more ethnic insults than I could count. If I had a penny every time someone called me a guinea, wop or dago, I’d be a millionaire without having had to take back my rock band and make my money legally and above board.