Akilina: Out of the Woods

by Patricia A Bowmer

  But the good things were gone too. The bookshelves with all their childhood toys; the photo albums that went back to her grandparents’ time; the barnyard of plastic horses; Dad’s collection of old bits of strangely shaped wood from the forest; the broken old typewriters. Even her father’s old oil paintings were gone. Halley felt hollow; she understood now why her parents had saved things. The objects had held their memories.

  One object remained. Hung on a rusty nail, on a metal hanger, was an old raincoat. She reached out to touch it. A memory came to her. She was young, perhaps three or four, waiting for Daddy to come home. Every night was the same; he was home by exactly six-thirty. She would watch the clock in anticipation, knowing the angle the hands made when it was time for him. In her memory, it was a cold winter’s night. Daddy would get home, and she’d run across the living room, jump up and be hugged tightly in his arms. She could still smell the cold of his raincoat, that outdoor smell; the sense that he had been somewhere else, but now he was come home to her. This was his raincoat.

  Halley looked over at Eden.

  “Dad wasn’t always so nice,” Eden said.

  “Yes, he was.”

  Out of long habit, she went through the pockets of the raincoat. It was empty, but for a small object wrapped in a handkerchief in the inner pocket. She opened it. It was a small brown ceramic horse. Its fourth leg had been reattached with Elmer’s Glue, and bore a lump from the childish paste that had been used in her time to mend the precious objects of children.

  Halley ran her finger along the lump of dried glue. It’s held all these years. With her smallest finger, she stroked along the back of the figure. It was a bay horse. Like Sampson. It was just an inch tall, fine-boned and delicate. She closed her eyes, and felt a flush of warmth before tucking it safely in her pocket.

  It was time to go. Halley was no longer frightened, and there was nothing more to find. The basement was empty; there was no man with terrible eyes haunting the place. She’d been right.

  “Let’s go,” she said.

  They climbed the stairs, hand in hand. At the top, Halley was surprised to see that the basement door was closed. I’ve never noticed the back of this door. I’ve always been in too much of a hurry to get out of the basement and lock it behind me. The stairwell light shimmered in the glossy black door. She was now the one in the basement, opening the door into the kitchen, into the light. She had become one with the thing that had climbed these stairs in her nightmares. But she was no longer angry, no longer a monster at all. Maybe she never had been.

  They left the basement, left the house, closing the back door behind them. The basement door they left wide open.

  He arrived at the abandoned house shortly after they’d left.

  “Monsters and nightmares. So you think it is that simple, do you? You think you can forget all of this, wish it all away? I don’t think so, my dear, I really don’t think so.”

  He left the house. It didn’t matter that they were far ahead. They were easy to track.

  They were no longer afraid. So they were making far more mistakes.

  He smiled, and strode on.

  Athena was waiting patiently, nibbling grass. Halley patted her on the shoulder, and Athena swung her big white head up and looked at Halley with wet eyes. Yes, yes, those eyes said.

  Using the back steps of the house as a mounting block, she grabbed hold of Athena’s mane just above the withers, and swung herself lightly onto the horse’s back. “Give me your hand,” Halley said, looking down at Eden, helping her up behind herself with a big tug. When they were both settled, Athena began to walk slowly. Feeling the horse move under her, Halley felt the long-familiar sense of height and poise that came with riding.

  As Athena clomp-clomped down the stony path, Halley felt Eden’s arms around her mid-section. After a while, her hold loosened a bit, and Halley guessed she’d dozed off to the gentle swaying of the horse’s stride. This swaying allowed Halley’s thoughts to quiet in a way the action-embedded last few days had not. As the events of those days played through her mind, she focused upon her breath moving in and out, letting her thoughts of the experiences slide by as if they were simply words on a screen: escaping Trance up the steep hillside trail; sliding downhill and traversing the tundra; losing Eden, and finding her again; falling into and escaping from Gail’s pit; helping heal Gail by taking down the hill of ‘bones’; finding and healing Hope.

  And myself, healing myself too.

  Her mind came back into the now. A sense of change was upon her. Through her encounters with these others, she herself was evolving. I’m recovering parts of me. Parts I’d forgotten even existed. At this thought, the distance from the top of her head to the base of her spine lengthened. Her chest lifted.

  The path forward was clear today, straight and obvious and long. Wide-open. Up in the sky – high above, riding the air currents – an eagle soared in a wide circle. Its enormous wingspan made it look powerful and unearthly.

  Eden stirred, and lifted her head.

  “What do you see?” she asked.

  Halley pointed upwards in answer, watching the eagle. The speed and power of the bird’s movement woke something in her; she wanted to move fast too. “Let’s do some running,” she said.

  Eden tightened her grip around Halley’s mid-section. “Hooray! I thought we were going to walk this slow forever!”

  Halley nudged the horse with her heels, and Athena broke obligingly into a slow jog, and with a little more encouragement, a fast trot. Each bounce at the trot was jarring, so she urged the horse on until they had moved into a smooth cantor and from there to the sweetness of a full gallop. Halley grasped Athena’s wiry mane, and Eden held tight to Halley.

  They flowed over the landscape, melded to the horse’s back like they were born to be there. Hooves kerchunked against hardened earth. Athena stretched long through her forelegs, and there were moments when, for an instant, all four of her hooves were free of the earth. They were airborne, creatures of the sky. The wind was in Halley’s hair, her blood pulsing wildly through her body. It was the essence of liberation, distilled from the air, movement, and breath.

  They galloped for miles, letting Athena decide when she was tired. Finally, she slowed to a walk, blowing hard. Her neck was flecked with white foamy sweat.

  Eden burst into laughter. “That was so much fun!”

  Halley was lost for words. She swung to the ground. The air was sweet with freedom. The blood was still pounding through her body. “I can’t remember the last time I felt so alive.”

  After Eden slid from Athena’s back, the horse lay down in the grass on the side of the trail, rolling back and forth, her legs stretched high. She had enjoyed the run as much as they. When the horse had recovered, she rolled back to her feet and shook herself heartily, dirt and foamy sweat flying from her white coat. Satisfied, she took a few paces around a clump of trees. Halley listened to the sucking sound of her drinking: Athena had found water.

  Following, Halley and Eden found themselves facing a wide river. The swiftly flowing water was grayish-white and looked cold. Athena finished drinking, and shook the drops from her muzzle; they hit Halley’s arm and made her shiver.

  “It’s too wide to cross here,” she said, frowning as she looked up and then downstream, searching for a narrower crossing.

  Athena pawed at the ground. She tossed her head, and snorted appraisingly while staring at the water, as if issuing a challenge. Her grey eyes shone.

  “I’ll just bet you could, Athena. You could swim it, even if we can’t.” Halley stroked the flat of the horse’s face, who answered by bumping Halley gently in the chest with her large white head. “I guess we’ve got to try.”

  “Before we do, let’s have some food,” Eden said.

  “Good idea – I’m starved!”

  They choked down several of the ‘Peters Monkey Bars’.

  “Feel better?” Halley asked.

  “Well…less hungry.”

&n
bsp; They had four bars left. Halley zipped them inside the zip-lock bag from her earlier food supplies to keep them dry during the river crossing.

  “Ready?”

  “Ready! But can I sit in front this time? Please?” Eden said. Her eyes asked as well.

  “Of course. I’ll give you a leg up…”

  Eden bent her left leg and Halley took her knee in her hands.

  “Ready – on three…one, two, three!”

  Eden jumped with her right leg, pressing into Halley’s hand with her left knee and she was up.

  “You want a hand up?”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  The river mud made a sucking sound as Athena entered the water. As the river deepened, Athena began to swim, her muscular white legs pulling against the water, carrying them across. She swam effortlessly, with her neck stretched long.

  Halley, however, was no longer smiling. The river was colder than she’d imagined, and far swifter. Without warning, a heavy branch, swept along by the strong current, smashed into her leg. Her leg blazed with pain. I didn’t even see that coming! Holding onto the horse’s mane with one hand, her other pressing against the hurting leg, she felt her thighs begin to slip. She was losing her balance. She tried to grip tighter but her injured leg wouldn’t work properly. Sharp-edged fear was upon her, worse because she was responsible now for both Athena and Eden.

  It was then that she looked upriver, and saw the boat.

  It was bearing down on them from upstream. It came fast. Faster than the current. It was steering directly for them. There was only one oarsman. He was cloaked in a familiar grey-green jacket.

  Eden’s arms were wrapped around Athena’s neck, her face tucked down. She was humming softly. Athena looked straight ahead, her neck stretched long as she swam. Halley opened her mouth but could make no sound.

  The boat was close. Trance’s thin, dangerous smile made her jaw clench. He plied the oars. The boat surged forward.

  Halley drove her right heel hard into Athena’s side. It took the horse by surprise. She immediately curved around the pressure, shifting direction to swim downriver.

  Halley glanced over her shoulder and saw Trance working the oars furiously. They were nearly abreast. He lifted one of the oars from the water. He held it like a baseball bat, ready to swing. Halley could see it all happening, in an instant, an irretrievable moment: he would aim for Athena, a deadly blow to the horse’s smooth beautiful head. Smash her, as he’d smashed the carp by the river. They would be pulled under by the weight of the dead horse. They’d drown.

  Trance cocked his body back. He would destroy everything!

  The boat swept up next to them. Eden kept her head low. Athena swam. Trance began the swing.

  The world stopped.

  But Halley was fast, and unpredictable. Trance believed her a sparrow; he was unprepared for an eagle.

  From Athena’s back, she launched herself, pushing off with her legs. She slammed into him, knocking him off balance. His smell – fetid, damp, dead – was upon her. But only for a moment. Her jump propelled her into him, and then beyond. She landed in the river with a tremendous splash.

  The cold stunned her.

  Seizing the moment, Trance reached out to grab for her. “Here, take my hand. I’ll help you aboard the boat…you could drown…” His expression was terrible to behold.

  “No way!” she shouted.

  Before he could react, she dove and pulled herself deep underwater. She held her breath and pulled forward with long strokes. The water tasted like the first rain of spring. Once her hands moved within the reeds at the edge of the river bank, she cautiously raised her lips above water to take a breath. Slowly, she rose up out of the water, keeping her knees bent, careful to stay hidden. She looked downstream, and felt a strong pulse of dread. Trance was pursuing Eden and Athena.

  Underwater, something slid slowly across her calves, something warm and heavy. She froze. The water near the reeds was murky. She couldn’t see through it. She kept absolutely still. A long thin ripple disturbed the river’s smooth skin. It was moving away from her. Her relief was short-lived. It circled and moved back towards her. Fast.

  A fish, let it be a fish, she willed.

  But the head that emerged from the water was not that of a fish. It was a snake! It flicked its tongue, and then fixed her with its yellow staring eyes. It reared higher, twelve inches of the snake defying gravity, the rest flattened along the water’s surface. It widened, became suddenly and ominously hooded. It opened its mouth and hissed from deep inside its throat. Its long white hollow fangs became visible, its forked tongue tasting the air. It was not just a snake. It was a cobra!

  Godlike, it swayed above the surface, as if enchanted by some gypsy snake charmer, before sinking and disappearing into the murky water. Halley swallowed. The ripples reappeared on the surface – they were moving towards her!

  Suddenly, a scream split the air. At the same time, a forceful wind struck Halley in the face. The surface of the water was broken. A moment later, an eagle arose. It was gripping the cobra tightly in its talons. It flew away, its thick legs extended backwards, holding the snake by its mid-section. The snake whipped about, but it could not get to the eagle.

  Halley scrambled to shore. She looked downriver. Trance’s boat was closing in on the others. He plied the oars. Halley pursued them along the riverbank.

  Eden kept her eyes fixed upon Trance. He was more frightening than anything she had ever seen. He was the man from the basement and Bad Dad and her brother when he beat her up; he was her nightmares that never went away. She wanted to cry out for Mommy, but Mommy was gone. Biting her lip, she forced herself to remember about heroes. The Lone Ranger. Superman. The Incredible Hulk. Batman. Heroes were the good guys. And the good guys always won.

  She took a deep breath. She was the Good Guy. Even though she was terrified, she would be brave.

  Carefully, she lifted herself onto one foot, and then pushed up with the other leg, until she was standing on both feet, wide-stanced on the horse’s broad back. Athena’s back was slippery. She gripped with her toes and the balls of her feet, reassured by the feeling of height. A moment later, Trance caught up, and made a lunge for her. She simply leaned forward, held on, and swung herself around Athena’s neck to hang below her, her legs dangling in the cold water.

  Athena sensed what she must do: she turned parallel to the river’s current, and resumed her course across the river. Trance couldn’t turn as fast. He was unable to follow, and his boat was quickly swept away.

  Athena and Eden climbed the river bank.

  Halley watched the boat slip away, eventually turning a bend in the river and moving out of sight. Her leg ached where the stray branch had hit her; her hair dripped coldly down her back and made her shiver. Even so, she felt strangely elated. Eden and Athena had crossed a few hundred meters further downstream. Halley ran to join them. Athena lifted her nose in the air and whinnied.

  Halley looked at Eden with wonder. “Are you all right?”

  Eden nodded, her eyes wide. They sat down to dry off in the sun, back to back, to gaze at the river. They were quiet for some time.

  Looking towards the mountains, Halley felt the familiar pulse return to her forehead. “The baby,” she said aloud.

  “You haven’t mentioned the baby in a really long time.”

  “I just felt her again, stronger than ever before.”

  “Do you know where?”

  “The mountains.”

  “What about Trance?” Eden said.

  “He won’t be back today. But soon, I’ll have to face him. I’m nearly strong enough. Let’s focus on the mountains.”

  A clearly visible ridgeline would make for easy climbing, and she pointed it out to Eden, tracing the way with her finger across the range. “There. We’ll start the climb just there.” It looked challenging and would require skill as well as strength. The thought made her very tired. Lying on her back, she let the sun warm her, soaking up its gold
en light.

  The sun shifted overhead, and the shadows began to lengthen. It was too late to travel further, so they decided to spend the night where they were, by the river.

  With a sense of calm unexpected after the battle with Trance, they slept. The hussssh of rushing water over rocks was a soothing lullaby.

  The next morning at sunrise, Halley and Eden gathered themselves, ate the last of the Peters Monkey Bars, drained and refilled the canteen at the river, and began to walk. Athena followed just behind, nibbling at undergrowth.

  They had not been walking long when Halley sensed a change in the air. Athena had stopped, her head and neck turned to observe something in the far distance. A sudden cool breeze from the West made the horse lift her head higher as she sucked in the air. She was suddenly lithe and light-footed, a coiled spring awaiting release.

  Halley gazed at her with a mixture of sorrow and joy. With slow steps, she approached the horse, following the direction of her gaze. A herd of horses was just visible in the distance. They had stopped and were watching the little group. A loud whinny split the air as the lead stallion summoned her; Athena’s answer resonated with an echo of the wild. She turned to face Halley, as if seeking permission, her nostrils flaring in and out. Reaching out, Halley gently stroked the flat of her palm down Athena’s nose, around the curve of her jaw, along the bold sweep of her neck.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. She patted the horse gently on the shoulder, and then took her hand away. It was a farewell.

  Athena paused a moment and nudged Halley in the belly, as if saying, Sure? Are you sure?

  Halley nodded. “Go.”

  In a moment, she was off. Her tail flicked at the air as she galloped lightly towards the herd. Halley watched the puffs of dust arise from each foot fall, watched the sunlight play on her white coat, and in the sound of her movement heard the echo of the horse’s freedom.