He’d had no intention of coming to the motel after the episode in the alley, especially after Rafe’s admission that he would only top. But Cade had ended up here anyway even though the reason why and what it meant had scared the hell out of him. The reason was simple – he was fast becoming obsessed with the damaged man who only knew how to lash out. The what it meant part was harder. It meant he’d have to give up the one thing that had always protected him in his sexual encounters. Control.
Cade had known from the time he was a pre-teen that he was gay and his darker needs had always led him to be the one in charge of his and his partner’s pleasure. Even during his first encounter at fourteen with a high school senior, he’d ended up topping. There’d never been any desire to submit to someone else or let someone else decide if and when he would find his release. The one time he’d finally given in had been when he was a Private in the army and the Staff Sargent he’d been fucking on the side for the better part of a month had convinced him to try it. The experience had been a painful one and his only one. There’d been a part of him that had enjoyed the thrill of being taken but the actual act had failed to live up to the hype and there’d been no one since that he’d even considered it with.
Until Rafe.
It had been the memory of the lust that had consumed him when Rafe had dominated him for those brief moments in the club after their first meeting that had him getting out of his car and knocking on Rafe’s door. As much as it had terrified him to give up so much of what inherently made him who he was, his instinct had told him that Rafe wouldn’t hurt him and that anything the man did to him would ultimately be about pleasure, not pain. And he’d been one hundred percent right.
The feel of Rafe restraining him, holding him immobile, hadn’t scared him for even a moment – it had just heightened all the sensations that had bombarded him since all he could do was feel. Even with the emotional distance that Rafe had maintained, the other man had still taken care of him in the end and Cade had come harder than he ever would have thought possible.
Cade felt Rafe shift above him and his sore ass clenched when Rafe finally withdrew from him and stood. Disappointment went through him when Rafe left him on the floor and disappeared into the bathroom. He hoped maybe he’d return with a washcloth to clean him off but when he heard the shower come on a coldness settled into his gut, replacing the warmth that had flowed through him as his orgasm waned. He almost laughed out loud when he realized how many times he’d been the one getting up and walking away. Karma really was a bitch.
Cade dragged himself to his feet and reached for some tissues on the nightstand and cleaned himself up as best he could. He pulled his pants up and sat on the edge of the bed as he swiped his shirt off the floor. His eyes drifted up to where his gun sat on the table and then his gaze settled on the open laptop. Dozens and dozens of emails were sitting unsent in the outbox of the email program and they all had the same subject line. Barretti. That was it – nothing more. One word that was enough to get people to open the email. The Barretti name was well known throughout Seattle not only because of Dom and Vin’s successful company, but because of their role in the downfall of one of the worst serial rapist and murderers the Pacific Northwest had ever seen. From the looks of things, Rafe had finally decided to take the last step in his plan.
Cade heard the shower stop and he knew that was his cue.
***
He was such a fucking coward. Not to mention an insensitive asshole for leaving Cade lying on the floor like a piece of trash. Shame flooded through Rafe as he yanked on the slacks he’d tossed on the floor after his efforts to clean them before Cade’s arrival. They were still damp and it took him a few seconds to work them up his legs. It gave him the time he needed to work up the courage to go into the other room. If he was really lucky, Cade would already be gone.
But he wasn’t. He was sitting on the edge of the bed working his shirt down the ripped muscles of his back – the one Rafe had had a perfect view of as he’d driven in and out of Cade’s beautiful body. And he hadn’t let himself explore any of it, including the intricate tattoo that spread out across his shoulders.
Rafe saw Cade reach for his gun and it was then that he realized his computer was open and the emails he’d planned to send before Cade’s arrival were in plain view. He braced himself for the torrent of anger that he knew Cade would release on him on behalf of his brothers but watched in stunned silence as Cade stood, grabbed his gun and tucked it into the waistband of his pants and left the room. Not even one look in his direction.
Rafe leaned back against the doorframe of the bathroom and felt his knees buckle as self-disgust went through him like a knife. He’d treated Cade no better than a whore. He’d become one of the very men he despised. As he sank to his ass he glanced at the computer once more. It was time to end this and move on.
***
Rafe welcomed the light rain as it cooled his skin. It would have been smart to have the cab drop him off in front of his brother’s restaurant but he knew he’d need the last couple of blocks to try and settle his nerves. He’d hoped to do this in a more private setting but a quick hack of Dom’s secretary’s calendar had showed that he was scheduled to be at his restaurant tonight. It hadn’t come as a surprise to find that Dom owned an Italian restaurant. He and Rafe had always been the ones at their mother’s side when she was cooking her rustic, old-fashioned pasta dishes. In truth, Dom had been helping to cook while Rafe had been the glorified taste tester, a role any little kid that worshipped his mother and idolized his big brother would have been willing to take on to spend more time with them. In the few weeks he’d had with his brothers before Gary had come for him, Dom’s cooking had managed to bring back their mother for a few precious moments as they sat down to dinner as a family of four instead of six.
It was well past eight and the sun had just finished setting by the time Rafe stood in front of the glass door with Barretti’s etched into it. He was surprised by the lack of activity at the still early hour but it didn’t matter since this was going to be a quick in and out thing. Then he’d get his ass to the airport and back to L.A. where he could figure out who he was going to be going forward.
Rafe sucked in a breath and marched through the door. He was already more than halfway in the main room when he realized the place was completely empty except for one group of people against the far wall. Several tables had been moved together and he counted at least a dozen people sitting with glasses raised, their attention on Dom and Logan who sat at the head of the table along with a young man and woman that Rafe recognized as Logan’s sister, Savannah and her boyfriend, Shane.
“To the happy couple,” someone said. Horror went through Rafe as he lifted his eyes and saw a banner above the table that read, Congratulations on Your Engagement.
It was a party. A fucking engagement party. Tears stung Rafe’s eyes at the betrayal he hadn’t seen coming. All the torment his brothers had supposedly been feeling since his arrival and the reality was that he wasn’t even a blip on their radar. Life was moving on as if he weren’t even here. Dom wasn’t even broken up enough to postpone getting engaged to his lover.
“Rafe,” he heard in a horrified whisper. Every head swung around but it was only Dom’s stunned eyes that he saw as the expensive glass in his brother’s hand slipped from his grip and shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor.
***
Cade stood at the sight of Rafe and started to go around the table when he saw the agony flash over the young man’s features.
“Oh my God,” someone whispered.
“Rafe?” he heard Dom say in a hoarse voice and then Dom was covering his mouth with his hand as his eyes brightened with tears. Vin had stood too and Cade saw him reach blindly for Mia who was sitting next to him. The young woman grabbed his hand and held it tight as both men stared mutely at the brother they hadn’t seen in twenty years.
Cade ignored everyone along with the implication of what he was doing
and hurried to Rafe’s side.
“Rafe,” he began gently but Rafe put out his hand and took several steps away from him. Tears were streaming down his face as he took in the scene in front of him and Cade knew instantly what the young man was thinking.
“Rafe, the party is for Savannah and Shane. They got engaged a month ago but this was the first chance Shane’s parents could fly out to celebrate,” Cade said as he motioned to the two older people sitting next to Shane.
Dom came around the table, glass crunching beneath his feet. “Oh God, thank you,” Dom said as he began closing the distance between him and his brother.
“Don’t you fucking touch me!” Rafe snarled as Dom neared him and the viciousness had Dom freezing where he stood.
“Rafe, please,” Vin said softly as he eased up behind Dom.
Suddenly Rafe flung something at Dom and somehow he managed to catch it. It was a small flash drive. Rafe looked around the room and shook his head before whipping back around to look at his brothers with disdain. “It’s all there,” he snapped as he motioned to the flash drive. “Go ahead and keep hiding behind your lies. I’m done!”
Rafe turned to go.
“I tried, Rafe! Damn it, I tried!” Dom yelled as he took a few steps forward.
Rafe stopped but didn’t turn around.
“I swear on my life, Rafe, I never stopped looking,” Dom cried brokenly.
When the young man turned to face his brother there was no pity or understanding, just rage.
“When did you try, Dom? When you were marrying your wife? Or starting your business? Or counting the millions of dollars you were making?” Rafe bit out. His eyes fell on Logan. “Or when you were pursuing someone else a month after the supposed love of your life died?”
Dom reared back but Rafe was merciless.
“How long after you let that bastard take me before you were laughing, loving, living? Because I never did any of those things again.”
“Rafe,” Vin tried to interject.
“’Be brave, Rafe.’ That’s what you said, Vinny. You remember?”
Vin nodded weakly.
“I tried. I tried so fucking hard. I was brave when Gary knocked me around for crying too much in the car as we were driving away from you. I was brave when he told me my mother was a fucking whore who got what she deserved. And I was brave when he sold me to a trucker for a tank of gas and a six pack at the very first truck stop we hit.”
Rafe’s voice cracked and Cade tried to reach for him but he ripped himself away. “And I was fucking brave when that sick fucker pushed me down in the back seat of his rig, stuffed a sock in my mouth and shoved his dick into my ass over and over before handing me back to Gary and telling him I was worth every penny.”
Horrified gasps went through the small group of people and Cade watched the denial flash across Dom’s features for a split second before the truth really hit him. He shook his head and Cade was sure the word “no” kept falling from his lips as he was suddenly consumed with gut wrenching sobs. Logan was at his side instantly. Silent tears streaked down Vin’s face and Cade wasn’t sure if he even noticed when Mia wrapped her arms around him.
“I was brave because I knew my big brothers would come for me because they promised me they would. Two years! Two goddamn years and countless men before I gave up. Before I stopped being brave. Before I finally realized you weren’t coming to get me!”
Cade saw Dom slowly sink to his knees. He kept shaking his head back and forth but there was no sound coming from him anymore besides harsh, dragging breaths as he tried to pull enough oxygen into his system. Hurt lanced through Cade for his friend but the agony he felt for the torture Rafe had suffered through was like a gaping wound deep inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to pull Rafe into his arms but the man’s rigid demeanor made it clear the last thing he wanted was anyone touching him.
Rafe suddenly went quiet and Cade could hear more than one person crying behind him. But Rafe only had eyes for his brothers. “I’ve wasted twenty years of my life on you. No more,” he muttered. “Not one more day,” he said coldly and then turned and left.
Still stunned by Rafe’s crushing admissions, it took Cade a moment to get moving and by the time he reached the sidewalk, Rafe had disappeared. His cell phone lay on the sidewalk and when Cade snatched it up, he saw that the tracking device was taped to the front of it.
Chapter 4
Rafe slammed his laptop closed and shoved the offending computer away. Three days. Three days into his new beginning and he couldn’t think for shit. Even the noise of the busy downtown street and the endless chatter of the people sitting around him in the café’s patio seating area weren’t helping him focus like they usually did. And all because he couldn’t get the sight of Dom on his knees out of his head.
Chugging the rest of his coffee, Rafe grabbed his laptop and shoved it into his bag. He searched his wallet for an appropriate tip and tossed the cash on the small round table. Maybe it had been a mistake to come back to L.A. Maybe a fresh start meant starting over from scratch. He had enough cash stashed away in half a dozen offshore accounts that he could go anywhere he wanted. Hell, he didn’t even need to work anymore and it wasn’t like being a hacker was the most noble of professions. He could go legit – maybe volunteer his computer skills to a place that needed him. An image of Logan’s crappy little foundation flashed in his mind and then the man himself was there as he wrapped his arms around his broken lover.
Jesus Fucking Christ! Rafe got up so fast he nearly knocked his chair over and several people looked at him curiously. He grabbed the chair and jammed it under the table, then left the patio area and began walking along the sidewalk that would take him the ten blocks back to his shitty hotel. That would be his second order of business after figuring out where to call home – he’d actually find a home. Moving from one run down hotel room to another every week was getting old.
“Rafe, get down!”
Rafe jerked at the sound of that familiar voice and a split second later something whizzed past his ear and suddenly the store window behind him shattered. Several screams penetrated the air as he instinctively hit the ground as a searing pain stabbed him in the upper left arm. Gunshots flew as people ran past him and then a big hand was closing around his right bicep and dragging him upwards.
“Move!” Cade shouted as he pushed Rafe around the corner and in between two buildings. Cade’s grip on his arm was brutal as he shoved Rafe back against the wall and then stuck his head around the corner and began searching the perimeter, the gun in his hand at the ready.
“Let’s go,” Cade ordered roughly as he grabbed hold of Rafe again and led him to the end of the block and pushed him into a late model sedan. Cade climbed behind the wheel and calmly pulled the car away from the curb as several police cars raced past. He didn’t acknowledge Rafe until they had gone a good ten blocks.
“How bad is it?” Cade asked as he glanced at where Rafe was putting pressure on the gash in his upper arm.
“Hurts like a motherfucker,” Rafe bit out.
Cade pulled the car into a deserted parking lot and jammed it into park. Rafe flinched when Cade grabbed both edges of his shirt and ripped the sleeve open to expose the wound.
“Bullet grazed you,” Cade murmured. He tore the rest of Rafe’s sleeve off and balled it up and applied it to the injury. “Keep pressure on it.” Cade put the car in gear and got back on road.
“What the hell is going on?”
Cade glared at him. “You tell me. You’re the one who’s got someone gunning for him.”
Rafe felt his stomach drop out. “No,” he said in confusion. “It was probably some random, freak thing.”
“I saw the guy, Rafe. He was aiming at you and only you.” Cade parked the car and Rafe looked up to realize they were at his hotel. “Key,” Cade ordered as he held his hand out. Rafe winced as he used the hand on his injured arm to fish the room key out of his computer bag. “Stay behind me.”
Rafe followed Cade to his room and stared in disbelief at the destruction before him. The few belongings he had were mostly clothes and those had been dumped on the floor and rifled through. But the rest of the room was ripped apart. The mattress was flipped and shredded on both sides like someone had cut into it. The drawers from the dresser lay broken on the floor and the table and nightstand were both overturned.
“What was he looking for, Rafe?” Cade asked coldly, his hard eyes pinning Rafe where he stood.
“I don’t know,” he responded. And it was the truth – he had no clue who had done this and why.
“Grab what you need and let’s go,” Cade said.
Rafe glanced at his meager possessions. What was the point? Everything he owned was replaceable. There were no sentimental photos or treasured knickknacks. He turned and left the room and got back into Cade’s car. As the confusion over what was happening set it, he felt the panic start to rise.
“Rafe, look at me,” Cade ordered, though his tone wasn’t as harsh as it had been a minute ago. He forced himself to look at Cade and an overwhelming sense of relief swept through him which made no sense since this man was the last person he had ever wanted to see again aside from his brothers.
A rough palm settled around the back of his neck. “Everything’s going to be okay,” Cade said simply as he rubbed his thumb over the side of Rafe’s throat before settling it on his pulse. The move shouldn’t have eased Rafe’s anxiety but it did. For the first time in his life when he’d needed to not be alone, he wasn’t.
Rafe managed to nod and Cade finally released him and got the car moving. They drove for about thirty minutes before Cade pulled into a motel that was just as shabby as the last one. Rafe was too tired to care when Cade ordered him to stay put and the next thing he was aware of was Cade pushing him gently down into a hard chair. Fingers probed his injury and he let out a shout when Cade doused it with alcohol.
Redeeming Rafe Page 5
