“Drink this,” Cade said as he pushed a bottle into Rafe’s hand.
“I don’t drink,” Rafe muttered as he tried to give the bottle back.
“You’re going to need it,” Cade replied as he opened a small pouch and began organizing the supplies within it.
“Cade, no,” Rafe said as he saw Cade unwrap a needle.
“You need stitches and a hospital isn’t really an option right now. Drink,” he ordered again as he began preparing the thread.
“Have you ever done this before?” Rafe asked just before he took a long drag on the bottle of scotch. The alcohol burned and he immediately started gagging at the taste.
“Mostly on myself. Gonna hurt like a son of a bitch,” he said mildly as he began rubbing a dark substance around Rafe’s wound. Rafe forced down another drink and by the third he was starting to feel the heat spreading through his stomach. But he may as well have been drinking water because when the needle punctured his skin he felt it everywhere.
***
Cade turned off the bathroom light and went around to the side of the bed to drag the covers up over Rafe who’d fallen asleep within minutes of Cade helping him get settled on the cheap mattress. It was still light out but between the events of the last few days and the near miss this afternoon, Cade was spent. He stepped wearily out of his clothes and crawled under the covers next to Rafe and took a moment to study the man. He marveled at how young and at peace Rafe looked and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to stroke his fingers over Rafe’s cheek. Rafe flinched away and Cade automatically withdrew his hand but then to his surprise, Rafe shifted closer until his head was pressed against Cade’s outstretched arm. The contact was minimal but electricity shot through him anyway. God, how he wanted this man.
Resisting the urge to draw Rafe closer to him, Cade leaned back so that he was staring at the ceiling and tried to get the image of that first bullet missing Rafe by just millimeters out of his head. If Rafe hadn’t turned at the exact right moment when Cade called his name, it would all be over and he’d be telling the already devastated Barretti brothers that their little brother was gone for good.
The aftermath of the confrontation with Rafe at Barretti’s had changed everything for Dom and Vin and the people that loved them. They were two of the strongest men Cade had ever known but Rafe’s admission about what had happened to him had destroyed them and Cade knew that no matter what happened, Dom and Vin would never be able to forgive themselves.
He suspected that they’d both always held out hope that Rafe had had a decent life with his biological father because contemplating anything else would have made it impossible to function in the years after they lost him. But to know their baby brother’s innocence had been brutally stolen within hours of him being ripped away was too much. And to hear how Rafe had waited for them to come save him had been the final blow.
Although he’d left shortly after Rafe to follow the man back to L.A., he’d kept in touch with Logan who had retreated with Dom to their house in the San Juan Islands. From the despair in Logan’s voice he knew it was bad…really bad. A call to Mia had proven that Vin wasn’t faring any better. And watching Rafe for the past three days had made it clear that as much as Rafe probably wanted to believe that he was moving on, the reality was that he wasn’t. When the young man wasn’t wandering aimlessly around the city, he was agitated and unfocused. He’d start working on his precious computer only to stop within minutes and slam it shut. Then he’d stare off into the distance for a while, shake himself loose from whatever dark thoughts had caused the pained look on his face and then he’d open the computer again and start typing away. And then whole process would repeat itself.
Cade hadn’t had a plan as to how to deal with the whole situation but the one thing he’d known from the moment Rafe had walked out of the restaurant, Cade couldn’t just let him go. And it wasn’t just his protective nature kicking in. No, there was something about Rafe that drew him in. Had him wanting more. More of what, he didn’t really know. Just more.
Cade sucked in a breath when Rafe shifted again and pressed up against him. An arm reached across his chest and snaked around his side and he looked down, expecting to see Rafe awake. But he was still out. Desire rippled through Cade at the feel of the hard body pressed so closely to his. This – this was definitely what he wanted more of. Not just the mind blowing sex but the after part. This feeling of being connected to someone.
Cade let his arm drop down around Rafe’s shoulders. Whatever ‘this’ was, it was temporary because he knew the second Rafe woke up he’d have a fight on his hands. Because as much as Rafe didn’t want his brothers, he sure as hell needed them. Rafe Barretti was going home whether he liked it or not.
***
Rafe noticed two things long before he opened his eyes. One - his arm hurt like hell. And two – the overwhelming heat beneath him. But since he wasn’t struggling to breathe he knew the heat wasn’t coming from him as the result of an impending panic attack.
When his whole upper body lifted slightly before falling back down, Rafe forced his eyes opened and confirmed what he had already suspected – that he was sprawled across Cade’s chest, his hand tucked against Cade’s armpit and a hard pillow of muscle beneath his head. One burly arm was wrapped around him like a band of steel and the other was stretched along his back, the broad palm splayed just above his ass. Thank God he still had his underwear on. But unfortunately the thin fabric was doing little to protect him from the feel of one finger pressed against the top of his crack.
Another rise and fall of Cade’s chest told Rafe the man was still asleep but with the way Cade was holding him, there was little chance he’d be able to extricate himself without waking him up. So sneaking off without a word was out. That meant he needed to ready himself for a fight because there was no way in hell he was spending another day with this man, would-be shooter be damned. If what Cade said was true and the guy really had been gunning for him – which seemed the likely scenario given the destruction to his motel room – then he’d get his ass on the first flight out of the country. Hacking and hiding – the two things he did best.
Rafe held his breath as Cade shifted slightly beneath him and he bit back a groan when the hand on his ass slid lower and cupped him. If he didn’t know better he’d think the son of a bitch wrapped around him like a vine was awake but Cade’s breathing never changed. His cock was aching as another shift had his lower half pressed against Cade’s hip and he couldn’t stop himself from humping against Cade in search of relief. But when the hand on his ass tightened even further he knew he’d been had.
“Asshole,” he muttered as he tried to pull away from Cade.
Cade chuckled and then Rafe was flat on his back as Cade pressed his weight over him. “Morning to you too,” Cade said softly and before Rafe could protest, those firm lips were closing over his. He tried to use his uninjured arm to push Cade back but instead he was wrapping it around Cade’s shoulders, pulling him closer. His mouth betrayed him too because it instantly opened for Cade’s seeking tongue and when Cade was the one to withdraw, his traitorous lips followed, refusing to release the other man. One more kiss, he told himself. One more and then he’d send Cade on his way.
***
Cade sucked Rafe’s tongue into his mouth and captured the other man’s moan as Cade sank more of his weight down on him. He’d only meant to have a quick taste but was thrilled when Rafe had returned his kiss. He’d been hard all night from Rafe constantly shifting against him and waking up to the man practically humping his hip had been too much. And that ass. He knew copping a feel definitely wasn’t going to win him any points but he’d done it anyway. It was tight and full and all he wanted to do was dip his fingers in between the perfectly round globes and explore. But the feel of slightly raised flesh was a reminder of the pain Rafe had endured and he wasn’t about to push the other man into something he clearly didn’t want.
And then Rafe had kissed him back.
Had refused to release him, in fact.
Cade reached between their bodies and pushed Rafe’s underwear down enough to free his engorged cock. When his hand closed around it, Rafe groaned and thrust up against him. It took only seconds for him to work his own dick free and then he held them together in his fist and began long, even strokes that had Rafe twisting beneath him desperately.
“Cade,” Rafe murmured against his lips before he kissed him again.
Cade increased the pressure as well as the rhythm and let out a shout of pleasure as Rafe bit down on his shoulder when his orgasm hit him. The move triggered Cade’s own release and he groaned as come splashed between their bodies.
“Fuck,” Cade said as he released their cocks and leaned back enough so he could watch as he smeared his and Rafe’s come together over Rafe’s muscular abdomen. Rafe watched his hand intently, then dragged Cade’s fingers to his mouth and licked them clean.
Cade would have given anything to spend the day pulling every ounce of pleasure out of their bodies as he could but he knew he was putting off the inevitable. He leaned down and gave Rafe a quick, hard kiss, ignoring the delicious taste of their release on the other man’s tongue, and then sat up. “Go shower,” he said gently as he pulled Rafe to a sitting position. “We’ll talk after. Keep your bandage dry.”
Rafe looked like he wanted to argue but Cade was glad when he didn’t because Cade just wasn’t ready for the fight he knew was coming.
***
Rafe sat on the edge of the bathtub and wrapped his arms around himself. His clothes along with a fresh shirt that he assumed was Cade’s since the only one Rafe had left was torn and bloodied, were sitting neatly folded on the top of the toilet. He hadn’t even heard Cade come in and put them there. And that simple, thoughtful act was fucking more with his head than the amazing things Cade had done to him in bed less than ten minutes ago. Common courtesy – that was all it was. A guy being nice.
He had no idea what the fuck to do with nice. Being disrespected, terrorized, brutalized – those things he could handle. But he had no clue how to deal with a man who reminded him not get his bandage wet and brought him his fucking clothes so he wouldn’t have to go searching for them.
All he knew was that he wanted more and that scared the shit out of him.
***
Cade had considered packing Rafe’s stuff in the car while he was in the shower in the pathetic hope it would somehow speed up the battle they were about to go through, but not only did the guy not have enough shit to actually pack up, Cade didn’t want to play the role of manipulative bastard. He would if it was the only way to get Rafe back to Seattle and the safety of his family, but he hated the thought of being yet another man that took Rafe’s choices away.
He stiffened when Rafe came out of the bathroom and ignored the tug in his chest at the sight of Rafe’s weary expression. Rafe closed the distance between them and reached for his bag. He kept his eyes lowered when he spoke.
“I don’t want to see them,” was all he said.
Cade knew exactly who ‘them’ was. “Okay.”
Rafe nodded and stepped past him and headed for the car. The young man looked so worn out that Cade actually hesitated before going to the car himself. What if he was about to make things worse for everyone, especially Rafe?
Chapter 5
“How did you find me?” Rafe asked as he forced the breakfast sandwich down. Between the alcohol he’d consumed last night and the stunning turn of events that had him heading back to the city he swore he’d never set foot in again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep the greasy food down.
“I put a second tracker in your watch when you were in the shower the other night,” Cade responded carefully.
Rafe glanced at the platinum watch on his wrist. It had cost him a small fortune but something about it had drawn him in when he’d seen it at the jewelry store he passed every day on one of his many coffee runs. Beautifully perfect precision with every gear and wheel aligned and balanced so that it was completely self-sufficient and always true. Cade had been smart to know he’d be unlikely to part with the watch as easily as he had his phone.
“They shouldn’t have sent you after me,” Rafe said quietly as he watched the scenery fly by.
“They didn’t. They don’t know I’m here.”
Rafe glanced at Cade in confusion.
Cade kept his eyes on the road when he said, “I left Seattle an hour after you did.”
“Why?” Rafe managed to ask though he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. But Cade didn’t answer him. “You’ve been watching me all this time?” Still no answer.
“Pull over,” Rafe said firmly. He was surprised when Cade did as he asked and turned on a side road and then parked at the entrance to an overgrown service road.
“Why, Cade?” Rafe demanded when Cade put the car in park and turned it off.
It took Cade a long time to answer. “I needed to make sure you were okay.”
Rafe got out of the car and slammed the door shut and just started walking. He stepped over the chain preventing cars from going further down the service road. He didn’t have to look back to know Cade was right behind him.
“I don’t want your fucking pity!” he snapped as he lengthened his stride. Humiliation burned through him.
“It’s not pity,” Cade said evenly.
“Well whatever it is, I don’t want it!”
“What do you want?” Cade asked gently. He didn’t even sound winded while Rafe felt like his lungs were going to explode.
He finally stopped but didn’t turn around. The truth hit him hard. “I want to go back.”
***
Cade waited in silence as Rafe stared at the deserted dirt road in front of them. “I want go back to before I started all this. I want to have never met you…any of you¸” he said tiredly.
That stung but Cade couldn’t blame him. “Why didn’t you send the emails?” he asked.
It took Rafe a while to answer.
“I didn’t like who I was becoming.” Rafe turned slowly but refused to look directly at him. “I shouldn’t have done that to you,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have left you there on the floor like that.”
This hadn’t really been the direction he wanted this conversation to go in. “Then why did you?” he heard himself ask, hoping like hell he managed to keep the hurt out of his voice.
Blue eyes finally lifted to meet his. “I needed to make sure you knew it wasn’t more than it was.”
“Just a quick fuck, right?” Cade said, his anger growing. “Don’t worry, message received,” he bit out and turned to head back to the car. “We need to get moving. It’s a long drive.” He thought he heard Rafe say his name but he was beyond caring.
Cade didn’t wait to see if Rafe would follow. His head start gave him a few extra moments to collect himself as he got back in the car. The rest of the day was spent in silence as they worked their way north and Cade finally gave in to his exhaustion and found a hotel to stop at for the night just past the Oregon border. He picked something nicer and made sure to get two beds this time around since he sure as hell wasn’t going to put himself through the torture of sharing a bed with a man who wanted nothing to do with him.
They had dinner at the diner that was part of the truck stop next to the hotel but Rafe was so jumpy that he barely touched his food. It wasn’t until halfway through the meal that Cade realized being around the truckers and their rigs might be triggering horrendous memories for Rafe.
“Come on,” he said as he tossed some money down on the table.
Cade unlocked their room and stepped aside to let Rafe in but didn’t enter. He was too keyed up to be cooped up with Rafe just yet so he said, “Lock this – I’ll be back in a second.”
He didn’t give Rafe a chance to answer before pulling the door shut. He heard it lock and then hurried to the gas station next door. He grabbed a few things for Rafe including a tooth brush and some snacks and droppe
d them on the counter. Before he could think better of it, he had the clerk get him a couple packs of cigarettes and he hurriedly unwrapped the first pack as he began walking back to the hotel. Logan would be pissed but he was too wound up to care. It was either this or drown himself in a bottle of liquor and since he needed to keep his wits about him, the latter wasn’t an option.
He dropped down onto the step leading up to the hotel and fished a cigarette out. Just as he went to light it, his phone rang and he grimaced. He was glad to see it wasn’t Logan calling him because then he would have felt like an even bigger shit for giving in to his bad habit.
“Hey asshole, how’s life in Hicksville?” he muttered.
“Funny,” his friend Jax said.
“Shouldn’t you be fucking the hot vet right about now?” Cade drawled as he glanced at his watch.
“He got called to an emergency. Something about a goat expecting triplets.”
“That’s some new life you picked out for yourself.”
Jax laughed. “It sure is,” he said softly and Cade could hear the man absolutely meant it. Former FBI agent turned small town cop and hooking up with a single dad with a six month old kid. He never would have guessed it in a million years but it sure as hell was working for the man he considered a brother.
“Where are you?” Jax asked.
Cade glanced around the parking lot. It was just too long of a story to tell so he just said, “On a job.”
Jax was silent for a moment before he said, “Let me guess, it’s complicated.”
Cade laughed as the words he’d said to Jax were tossed back at him. Complicated didn’t even begin to cover the shit storm going on inside of him. “Yeah,” he finally responded to his friend.
“He worth it?” Jax asked softly.
Redeeming Rafe Page 6
