He hesitated before finally saying, “Yeah.” Fuck.
“Make it work, Cade,” Jax responded. “Get past complicated and just make it work.”
Cade heard the tell-tale sound of a baby crying in the background. “Go take care of your daughter, Jax. And tell the hot vet I said hi.”
He disconnected the call and stuck his phone in his pocket. He glanced at the cigarette in his hand and sighed. Snatching up the two packs from the ground, he tossed them and the lighter into the garbage can at the end of the walkway before searching out the room key. One more night. He could get through one more night.
***
Four days. Four days and less than a dozen words had been spoken between them.
Rafe tried to focus on the screen in front of him. The sooner he figured out who he’d pissed off enough to come after him guns blazing, the sooner he could find a way to neutralize the threat and get out of this place. Not that being in Cade’s apartment actually meant he was around Cade. No, the exact opposite was true. He could count on one hand how many times Cade had spoken to him in person since he’d shown Rafe the guest room. After that it had been a series of texts telling him to stay in the apartment as well as a warning not to remove the tracker from his watch.
Their last night in the hotel and the drive back to Seattle hadn’t been any better. Cade had been sullen and withdrawn and Rafe hadn’t even tried to draw him out. He didn’t have the right after the shitty things he’d said to Cade about what he wanted – or rather didn’t want – out of their relationship. Well, he’d gotten what he asked for. There was absolutely no fucking relationship.
But Cade was still doing the little acts of kindness that were driving Rafe insane with confusion and guilt. The man had instinctively known that he had been uncomfortable eating at the truck stop as truckers came and went and had given up finishing his own dinner so they could get out of there. And then he’d brought Rafe snacks and a toothbrush and other incendiaries to get him through the night. The first morning after they’d arrived back at Cade’s apartment, a bag full of new clothes had been looped over his bedroom door. When he’d tried to thank Cade before he left for the day, Cade had dismissed his gratitude and asked for his phone, replacing it with a new one, presumably in case his new enemy was tracking the old one.
After four days he was no closer to figuring out who was after him and he’d ruined any chance at a friendship with the one man who’d treated him decently since Gary had destroyed his life. It amazed him that it had taken being around Cade to realize how lonely Rafe really was.
Rafe heard the front door open and glanced at his watch. A thrill of excitement went through him at seeing it was barely four o’clock. If Cade was home for the night, maybe they could have some dinner, talk. He left the bedroom and hurried into the living room, ignoring the skittering of nerves along his spine. Jesus, was that a fucking smile spreading across his mouth?
As he rounded the couch he came to a dead stop at the sight of a huge Rottweiler sitting near the entryway to the kitchen. The dog cocked his head at him and then quickly jumped up and trotted over to him, a string of drool hanging off his massive jowls. He stiffened as the animal sniffed him.
“Baby,” came a voice from the kitchen and then a young kid was peeking around the corner. “He won’t hurt you none,” the kid said to him as he came into the living room, a bag of chips in one hand, a soda in the other.
“I’m Eli,” he said as he tucked the chips under his chin and reached out his hand.
“Rafe,” Rafe responded and returned the surprisingly firm handshake.
Eli went to the living room and dropped down on the couch, then pulled open one of the doors on the walnut coffee table. “You like Call of Duty?” he asked as he pulled out a couple of video game controllers.
“Um, I’ve never played before,” he admitted. His mind was racing as he realized who the kid was.
“Can’t be much worse than Cade. He sucks,” Eli said with a snort as he held out one of the controllers expectantly.
“He’s not here,” Rafe said as he went to sit on the couch.
“I know. He lets me hang out here on nights my mom has to work late. Even if he’s not home,” Eli said as he turned the 50 inch TV on.
Rafe leaned back and studied the controller in his hand as Eli started explaining how the game worked. He only half listened as he studied the boy. He guessed him to be in his early teens and he could almost be considered pretty with his slight frame, coal black hair and darker skin tone.
Less than a week ago he was arguing the merits of saving kids like Eli with Logan and now he was sitting next to him. Because his brother had done something – he’d stepped up when this kid needed someone.
“Got it?” Eli asked.
Rafe managed a nod though he really hadn’t heard much of what Eli had said about the game. Within a minute of Eli starting up the game, Rafe was already dead and Eli was laughing so hard that his character met his doom a moment later. The kid gave him a goofy grin as he restarted the game and gave Rafe some tips on how to stay alive longer. An hour later and he was so invested in the animated carnage that he nearly yelled at Eli when he paused the game so they could take a bathroom break.
As he waited for Eli to return, the Rottweiler came up to him and nudged his hand. He didn’t have much experience with dogs or any animals for that matter so he was surprised when the dog dropped his big head in his lap.
“I think that’s why Mrs. Barretti named him Baby,” Eli said as he trotted back into the living room and gave the dog a pat before settling down on the couch once more.
Rafe froze in the act of petting the animal. “This is Dom’s dog?” he asked quietly, his heart catching when he said his brother’s name.
“Used to be. Dom gave him to me. He said I could take better care of him but I think it’s ‘cause he knew Baby makes me feel better,” Eli responded as he stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth.
“How does he make you feel better?” Rafe asked as Baby pressed against his hand and he resumed his petting.
“I don’t know, I guess sometimes when I get scared Baby knows how to make it go away.” Eli’s voice dropped off and he could tell the kid was embarrassed.
“He’s a great dog, Eli. I’m glad you have him,” Rafe said.
Eli studied him for a moment. “If you want to borrow him sometime, that’d be okay I guess,” Eli offered.
Rafe glanced up in surprise.
“If you get scared or something.”
Understanding dawned as Eli nervously looked away and pretended to check something on his game controller.
“Were you at the restaurant that night, Eli?”
Eli nodded. Rafe remembered more than he wanted to about the night he’d blurted out his humiliating secret in front of his brothers and their friends but he hadn’t really paid attention to all the people who were in attendance.
“Eli,” he said gently and waited till the kid looked at him. “Thank you for the offer,” he said as he looked down at Baby. “I’ll let you know, okay?”
Eli nodded and a shy smile spread across his features. He grabbed Rafe’s controller and handed it to him. “A few more games and you’ll suck even less than Cade does.”
“I heard that.”
They both turned to hear the door close and Cade entered with a bag in his hands. His eyes held Rafe’s for a brief moment but whatever flashed in them was gone before Rafe could ponder it for too long. His own pulse had notched up dramatically at the sight and sound of the other man.
Eli and Baby both ditched him to follow Cade into the kitchen and he listened as the kid rambled on about the day’s events. All three came back into the living room a moment later and it wasn’t until Eli sat on the opposite end of the couch and handed Cade a third controller that Rafe felt his heart go into overdrive. The only place for Cade to sit was between him and Eli and by Cade’s hard look at the open space on the couch, he was none too happy about it. But he sat a
nyway, his thigh brushing Rafe’s briefly and Rafe nearly moaned at the contact.
Cade’s overwhelming presence proved to be too much of a distraction on his senses and his avatar paid the price as he was blown to bits over and over again. Another half an hour passed before Eli’s phone rang and he paused the game to answer it.
“Yeah, be right down,” Eli said. “Gotta go,” he said as he tucked his controller back in the cabinet. “Later,” he said to Cade as they bumped fists. “Bye, Rafe.”
“Bye,” Rafe said. Cade was up and moving away from him even before the door closed and Rafe immediately felt the loss. So much for hoping things would be different.
***
Cade unpacked the rest of the groceries he’d left in the bag after Eli had convinced him to play a couple of rounds of the kid’s favorite video game. He hadn’t wanted to be in such close proximity to Rafe and sitting next to him had been pure torture. Every time Rafe moved, Cade had felt it. Every sigh, every grunt of excitement, even the guy’s amazing smell had Cade on edge from the moment he sat down. If Eli hadn’t been there, he would have had Rafe splayed out along the supple leather in no time.
“He’s a good kid,” he heard from behind him.
“Yeah, he is,” Cade said as he forced himself to focus on the task at hand.
“He said you let him come over when his mom has to work late.”
He didn’t need to turn to know that Rafe was just feet from him. “Yeah. They live in an okay neighborhood but I guess he feels safer here because it’s more secure. It’s been like that since he was abducted. I try to be here on the days I know he’s coming over after school.”
Rafe fell silent behind him but a quick glance over his shoulder showed that Rafe was leaning against the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. It would only take two strides to reach him…
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a “kids” kind of guy.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of things you have and haven’t pegged me as, aren’t there?” he said coldly. He jammed the last of the groceries into the cupboard and turned to leave the kitchen but Rafe stepped in his path.
“Cade, I didn’t mean anything by that,” Rafe said solemnly.
“Sure,” Cade said as he stepped past Rafe, ignoring the surge of lust that went through him when their bodies touched. “I’m going to go for a run,” he said quickly as he headed towards his room. It took just moments to change into sweats and a tank top and when he hurried towards the front door he saw that Rafe was still where he’d left him in the kitchen. Not his problem, he reminded himself as he left the apartment.
He’d wanted to make sure Rafe was safe and he’d done that – his building was as secure as they came. His place was also big enough so that he could easily avoid the other man as much as possible and he’d done an admirable job in the four days they’d been back in Seattle. The second Rafe figured out who was targeting him, Cade would take care of it and this would be over. No more second guessing himself about wanting someone who didn’t want him. No more sleepless nights as he thought about the man in the next room, dreamed about his whipcord body and perfect mouth, raged about the torture and abuse that had been inflicted upon him. He had no idea if Gary Price was alive or dead but he knew the fucker would wish he were dead if Cade ever got his hands on him.
An hour of running did little to ease the tension in his system but since he knew it would likely take a coma to do that, he headed back to his apartment. Rafe wasn’t in any of the common areas and his bedroom door was closed. It was a cowardly thing to do but Cade checked the tracking software on his phone to confirm Rafe, or at least his watch, were still in the apartment rather than knocking on his door to make sure he was there. But his heart nearly stopped when he opened his own door and saw Rafe sitting on his bed.
It took him a few seconds to recover before he said, “What is it? Did you need something?”
Rafe laughed but it sounded uneven and hollow. God, what he wouldn’t give to hear Rafe laugh for real.
“Yeah, I need to know how to not always say the wrong thing around you.”
Cade went to his dresser and put his phone down. He usually put it on the nightstand but he didn’t trust himself to get that close to Rafe, especially seeing how vulnerable the other man looked.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We’re fine.”
Another laugh. “I don’t know much about you, Cade. But I do know you’re not a liar so don’t start now.”
Frustration went through Cade. “What do you want, Rafe? You said you wanted to go back to before you met me. This is the best I can do,” he said tiredly. “Find the fucker that wants you dead and I’ll be out of your life for good.”
Cade started to head to his bathroom but Rafe’s words stopped him cold.
“I lied.”
Cade didn’t respond or turn around.
“I wish I hadn’t started this whole thing with Dom and Vin but I wouldn’t change meeting you.”
He heard Rafe get up and come closer. A hand coasted down his back and then disappeared. But the effect was devastating on Cade’s senses. He knew that all he had to do was turn around and he could have Rafe in his arms again, could feel their bodies perfectly aligned, could taste the lush mouth that fit his like it had been made for him.
He heard Rafe sigh before he said, “Could we at least try being friends? The kind that say hello to each other once in a while, maybe eat a meal together? Or did I fuck any chance of that up too?”
A better man would say yes. A better man would overlook the wounds this man had inflicted on him, however unintentional they may have been. A better man would set aside the fucked up emotions churning in his gut.
But he wasn’t a better man so he simply said, “I don’t need any more friends” and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before he could see what impact his words had.
Chapter 6
“How’s he doing?” Cade asked as Logan led him to the kitchen.
“Not great,” Logan admitted as he poured Cade a cup of coffee and settled on one of the stools surrounding the huge island in the modern kitchen. Normally Cade marveled at the sight of the water and mountains that made up the view of Dom and Logan’s island house but today he had no interest beyond the man in front of him and the well-being of his best friend who had yet to make an appearance. Logan himself looked exhausted which meant Dom was probably ten times worse.
“And Vin?”
Logan just shook his head.
“Fuck,” Cade whispered.
“We’re going to head back to the city next week. Try to get back into the swing of things again.”
Cade nodded. “There’s something I need to tell you. Both of you,” he said quietly. “But it may make things worse.”
“They can’t get much worse,” Logan responded.
They both heard footsteps and Cade actually felt like someone had punched him in the gut when he saw Dom enter the kitchen. The man looked like he’d aged a decade. His skin was pale and drawn tight, his eyes sunken and hollow. He’d definitely lost weight and his normally bald head was covered with a week’s worth of growth. The only positive thing was when Dom wrapped his arm around Logan and placed a kiss on his neck before he turned his attention to Cade.
“Hey.”
“How you doing, Dom?”
Dom just shrugged and sank down on the stool next to Logan.
“Can I make you something to eat?” Logan asked as he settled a hand over Dom’s.
“Not hungry,” Dom replied as he shook his head.
Logan twined his fingers with Dom’s and waited until his lover finally looked at him. “You need to eat, Dom,” Logan whispered. “Please.”
Dom finally nodded and pulled Logan’s hand up to his mouth and brushed a brief kiss over it.
Logan jumped up and started pulling things out of the fridge. Cade knew it was important to get food into Dom’s system so he held off on any talk of Rafe unt
il after Dom had forced down half the sandwich. He managed to keep the topic of conversation on the things going on at the office but when Dom pushed his plate away, Cade knew it was time.
“I have some news on Rafe,” he said.
Pain lanced across Dom’s features. “Is he okay?”
Fuck, this was going to be bad.
“He’s fine. He’s back in Seattle. At my place,” he added.
Confusion went across both Logan and Dom’s features but before they could jump to their own conclusions, he spit out the rest.
“I followed him to L.A. to make sure he was okay. Someone took a shot at him.”
Dom stood so quickly the stool fell over.
“He’s safe, Dom. The bullet grazed him but he’s okay. He’s holed up at my apartment.”
“Who?” Dom managed to spit out.
“He’s not sure. It probably has to do with someone he’s hacked in the past. He’s looking through his files and I’ve got Desi seeing what she can find out.”
“Oh, God,” Dom said in an agonized voice. He began pacing the room and then suddenly lashed out at several items sitting on a small side table. “Son of a bitch!” he screamed as he threw the table over. Logan watched in pained silence but didn’t intervene.
“I swear to God, I’m going to find that fucking monster and tear him apart,” Dom snarled as the contents of the sideboard went flying next. Cade had no doubt that Dom was talking about Gary Price. A couple more items hit the ground before Dom quieted. At that point Logan got up and went to Dom and wrapped his arms around him. Even from where he sat, Cade could see Dom grab Logan in a painful looking hold but the younger man didn’t object. In fact, Cade could hear him murmuring in Dom’s ear and then Dom was nodding. Cade felt like an intruder on the intimate moment and used the time to clear the few dishes from the island. By the time he turned around, Dom had eased his hold on Logan and he shifted so that his eyes could connect with Cade’s.
“Can I see him?” Dom whispered.
It was completely fucked up that Dom had to ask him for permission to see his own brother and answering Dom was one of the hardest things he would ever have to do.
Redeeming Rafe Page 7
