“He’s not ready, Dom.”
Dom closed his eyes as he nodded.
“He’ll get there. He just needs a little bit of time,” Cade offered, though he wasn’t really sure that was true. Maybe if he hadn’t pushed Rafe away last night, he could have figured out where Rafe was at with talking to his family.
“Keep him safe, Cade,” Dom said softly just before he dropped a kiss on Logan’s lips and left the room.
“I’m sorry, Logan,” Cade said but Logan raised his hand and shook his head.
“He needed to know. We both did.”
“You want me to tell Vin?” Cade asked.
“No, I’ll tell him. He and Mia were thinking about coming up here for the weekend. Try and get away from things for a while.”
Cade nodded. “I’ll keep you posted,” he said as he stood. He wasn’t surprised when Logan hugged him before showing him out. The confrontation had physically and mentally exhausted him and he wished like hell he wouldn’t have to relive it or the shit that had happened with Rafe last night over and over on the long drive back to the city.
***
“Thanks again,” Rafe said as he waved once more to the woman before opening the door. “I should have something for you by Monday.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” came a heavy voice as a burly hand closed around his arm.
Seeing an enraged Cade wasn’t a surprise – the surprise had been in how long it had taken for Cade to come and get him. He’d had nearly a half an hour to sit with Logan’s Assistant Director, Constance. The woman had talked his ear off the whole time and he’d met more people than he could even remember, but he’d actually found himself enjoying learning more about the foundation’s goals and milestones.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Cade snapped as he glanced at the door behind him. Rafe was about to respond when Cade suddenly dragged him to his car and shoved him into the passenger seat.
The entire car shifted when Cade dropped down into the driver’s seat and the tires actually squealed when Cade pulled the car away from the curb.
“Haven’t you done enough?” Cade snapped. “You’ve destroyed both your brothers! Dom’s a fucking zombie and Vin won’t speak to anyone but Mia! What more do you want?” he snarled. “You gonna track Ren down too and fuck him up even more than he already is?”
Cade’s rage was palpable and Rafe was actually afraid to respond. Cade had never been abusive with him but the level of fury that was coursing through the man had him second guessing that now.
“Cade,” he began.
“Shut the fuck up, Rafe!”
God, how many times had he heard that in his life before? The ‘Rafe’ part was always replaced with ‘Boy’ but the tone was exactly the same. As he felt his pulse start to increase and the tell-tale pain in his chest, he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the numbers and letters running across the imaginary computer screen in his head. But it was all gibberish and his panic went up another notch.
“Shit,” he heard from what seemed like far away which didn’t make any sense because the rocking back and forth motion of his body proved he was still in the car.
“Rafe, look at me. Rafe, please, I’m sorry.”
He felt heat on his neck but cold everywhere else.
“Breathe in, baby. Real slow.”
God, he loved that voice. It was so easy to focus on and so he did. After several long, agonizing minutes, the pain in his chest began to ease and each breath came easier and easier. When he finally opened his eyes, he realized they were in fact still in the car and the air conditioning was going full blast. The heat he still felt was coming from Cade’s fingers rubbing circles along the back of his neck as well as their foreheads being pressed together.
“I’m sorry,” Cade whispered over and over.
“I’m okay,” Rafe said as he closed his hand over Cade’s arm. “I’m okay,” he said again and he felt Cade nod against him before finally pulling back and releasing him.
Cade got out of the car and Rafe realized they were in the garage of Cade’s building. He got out and followed Cade to the elevator and as they waited for the car to come down to their level, he watched Cade shift in agitation. His anger had faded but he was still keyed up.
“Cade,” he started to say but Cade held out his hand and shook his head.
Rafe fell silent and as soon as they got in the elevator he pressed himself into the corner and kept his mouth shut. But the second the doors closed, Cade grabbed his arm and yanked him forward.
“I don’t want to be your God damn friend,” Cade bit out just before he crushed his mouth over Rafe’s and automatically sought entry. The second he opened his lips, Cade’s tongue was stroking over his and he groaned when Cade pushed him back against the cool metal of the elevator wall. Hands immediately grabbed his ass and a thick thigh pressed between his legs. He was instantly hard and he began rubbing his pelvis over Cade’s thigh in desperation.
He didn’t even know the elevator had opened until Cade grabbed his hand and dragged him down the short hallway to his apartment. Cade’s mouth was on his again the second he entered the code for the door and he was quickly maneuvered into the apartment. But they didn’t make it far because Cade shoved him against the door and kissed him again as he began working his own shirt off.
Rafe dropped his head back against the door as Cade clutched him by the neck and held him still so he could kiss his way down his throat. Teeth nipped at him as a hand stroked under his shirt and over his abdomen. He reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt and dragged it up over his head. The open invitation had Cade licking and kissing his way down his chest but when he reached for Rafe’s jeans, Rafe snagged his wrist. He gently pushed Cade back a few steps until his back hit the opposite wall and then he dropped to his knees.
“Rafe, you don’t have to,” Cade said hoarsely as Rafe stroked his hands over Cade’s slacks, his fingers closing over the steely length beneath the smooth fabric.
“I know,” Rafe whispered as he worked the button and zipper free and the pants slid to the floor. The underwear quickly followed.
“Rafe,” Cade said softly and he looked up to see Cade studying him earnestly. Something went through him at Cade’s look of concern. He cared more about Rafe being okay with what was about to happen then getting Rafe’s mouth on him.
Any hesitation he had disappeared and he leaned in to run his tongue over the flared head. The salty flavor had him quickly sucking the tip in his mouth so he could run his tongue lovingly over the slit and then around the ridge beneath the head.
Fingers sifted gently through his hair and he glanced up to watch Cade watching him. He was stunned when Cade carefully pulled free of his mouth and then leaned down to kiss him. Their tongues danced sweetly over each other for several long seconds before Cade drew back. Rafe grabbed Cade’s hips and held him still as he sucked Cade’s dick back into his mouth, the wide girth stretching his mouth. As he pulled Cade deeper down his throat on every stroke, he felt no urgency from the man above him, just soft, almost reverent petting on his head. No grabbing of his hair or neck, no slamming forward until he gagged.
Rafe relaxed his throat as Cade’s length slid all the way in and his nose was pressed against the rough hair of Cade’s groin. He drew back slowly, swirling his tongue as he went and then grazed his teeth gently over the crown before sucking him in again. Cade groaned above him. Rafe let his hands reach around to cup Cade’s ass and a memory of the tight flesh flexing beneath his palms as he drove into Cade assailed him. He swallowed around Cade’s dick and Cade let out a loud curse. He felt a warm palm settle on his upper back and then Cade was leaning over him, his broad hands massaging their way down his back as Rafe continued his long, torturous pulls.
“So beautiful,” Cade whispered above him as he finally straightened so he could watch Rafe and the lust along with some other unidentifiable emotion in Cade’s eyes had Rafe sucking on him hard and dragging his hips forward
. Cade seemed to get the message and began to gently thrust into his mouth. Rafe let his hands search out the two heavy sacks and he rolled them between his fingers as he hollowed out his cheeks and intensified the suction as Cade slid in and out of him.
He knew Cade was still holding back so Rafe slid a finger between Cade’s cheeks and sought out his pulsing hole.
“Fuck,” Cade shouted as Rafe brushed it, then dipped the tip of his finger inside. Cade’s fingers tightened in his hair but he felt no fear and he eagerly opened his mouth wider as Cade began to earnestly fuck him.
“I’m gonna come,” Cade warned and Rafe knew he was going to pull out so he grabbed the man’s ass once more and pulled his hips forward and held them there as Rafe sucked as hard as he could. As the first shot of semen hit the back of his throat, he moaned and closed his eyes in pleasure. He barely registered Cade’s shout as more liquid fire spilled down his throat and he swallowed hungrily every time Cade punched forward. Long after the last drop fell on his tongue, Rafe continued to bathe Cade’s cock with attention and when he finally released it, Cade was there to drag him to his feet for a soul wrenching kiss.
“I want you inside me,” Cade whispered against his lips and then he was being dragged to Cade’s bedroom. Cade made love to his mouth as his nimble fingers removed the rest of Rafe’s clothes and then a fist closed around his hardness. He was so sensitive that he cried out at the contact and when Cade pushed him back on the bed and closed his mouth over his cock, Rafe moaned and threw his arm over his eyes. If he saw Cade sucking him, he knew it would end him before he had the chance to be buried deep inside the other man’s body and he wasn’t giving up that opportunity for anything.
Cade must have sensed how close he was because Rafe felt him pull off and then a condom was being rolled down his length. Lube followed and then Cade was drawing him up and off the bed. Cade bent over the edge of the bed and pulled back one cheek to expose his hole – the one already slick with lube. Rafe reached out and ran his fingers over the quivering, pulsing opening and he slid one finger in.
“More,” Cade let out on a groan.
Rafe added another finger. He twisted his wrist and curved his fingers and suddenly Cade shouted and pushed back on him hard. “Yes, fuck,” Cade said.
Rafe realized he must have hit Cade’s prostate and he quickly did it again. With each pass Cade was moaning and desperately twisting against Rafe’s fingers. Rafe reached around Cade’s hips and felt Cade’s erection brush his hand.
“Rafe, please,” Cade groaned as he glanced over his shoulder at Rafe.
Rafe pulled his fingers out and ran his hands over Cade’s perfect skin. It wasn’t enough, he realized. It wasn’t enough.
“Turn over,” he said softly. “I need to see you.”
***
Cade’s heart tightened in his chest at Rafe’s words and he was so caught off guard by the request that it took Rafe’s gentle hands rolling him to his back to get him moving. Rafe urged him further back on the bed so he was in the middle of it. When Rafe climbed over his body and leaned down to kiss him, he opened his legs to make room for him and groaned when Rafe’s tongue licked over his. The raw, clawing need inside of him turned into a slow building burn as Rafe showered him with soft, sweet kisses.
Jesus, was this what making love was? He was getting as much pleasure, if not more, from the feel of Rafe’s body sinking down onto him as fingers explored every muscle and curved over every surface. Heat flooded his system and his nerves lit up as Rafe worshiped him and by the time Rafe kissed and touched his way down to Cade’s lower body, Cade was writhing in blind need. Fingers probed him gently once more and then Rafe’s cock began to breach him. His body opened willingly to Rafe and the man slid in easily until the wiry hair at his base brushed against Cade’s flushed skin. And then Rafe was back over him, their slick bodies aligned once more as Rafe began to gently thrust into him.
Rafe’s strokes were slow and deep as he continued to trail kisses all over Cade’s face and mouth. He wanted to tell Rafe it was too much but he couldn’t speak because the pleasure was consuming him, driving him higher. Arms disappeared under his back and curled up over his shoulders as Rafe finally began to increase the pace and Cade moaned every time Rafe slid into him as far as he could go. Cade’s eyes drifted closed when a hand snaked between their bodies and began stroking him but he was drawn so tight with arousal that he couldn’t move, couldn’t think beyond the feel of Rafe’s skin on his, his mouth pressed into the curve of his shoulder, his shaft driving him higher and higher, every peak greater than the last.
His orgasm hit him without any warning at all and he reached down to grab Rafe’s ass to hold him inside of his body as Rafe shouted against his neck. The muscles beneath his palms clenched over and over as Rafe emptied himself inside of Cade and he wished like hell there wasn’t a latex barrier separating them. His body continued to spasm as Rafe jerked inside him and then Rafe’s mouth was searching his out again. He had no idea how long they kissed for but when Rafe finally slipped free of him, fear shot through Cade and he tightened his grip on the hard body still covering his.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Rafe whispered against his lips before placing one last kiss on his mouth and then dropping his head to Cade’s chest. An hour or four could have passed for all he knew when Rafe finally disentangled himself from Cade’s arms and rose from the bed. Disappointment went through him and he turned on his side so he wouldn’t have to watch the man walk away from him yet again. But a moment later, strong hands were gently turning him on his back and Rafe began cleaning him with a warm washcloth. Cade couldn’t remember having such an intimate moment like this with anyone and he was ashamed he’d never taken the time to do this to any of the lovers he’d so callously fucked and then dismissed.
Rafe tossed the washcloth on the nightstand and leaned over Cade. “Can I stay here tonight?” he asked as he brushed his fingers over Cade’s cheek.
Cade couldn’t manage any words so he just nodded. When they were settled under the covers, Rafe ended up pressed against his chest but he wasn’t sure if he’d put him there or Rafe had positioned himself that way. Truth was he didn’t fucking care, as long as he stayed that way. But as much as he wanted to stay in this quiet, peaceful moment, there was too much between them that they needed to clear up.
“What were you doing at Logan’s foundation today?” he asked carefully.
Rafe’s fingers coasted over his chest. “I wanted to see if they needed help with their computers or networking.”
“You went there to volunteer?” Cade said in surprise. Rafe nodded against him.
“I said some pretty shitty things to Logan about what he was trying to accomplish,” Rafe admitted. “Meeting Eli yesterday made me realize I was wrong. Saving even one kid…” he said softly, his voice dropping off.
“Logan wasn’t there which was probably a good thing so I talked to his Assistant Director. She asked if I would take a look at their website. It’s something I can do from here.”
“You shouldn’t have left,” Cade muttered as he skimmed his hand down Rafe’s back. His fingers caught on scar after scar.
Rafe turned his head so their gazes met. “I know. I was pretty upset and just needed to get out of here for a while,” he offered. “It was stupid,” he said softly.
They were both silent for a moment and then Rafe said, “It was a whip.”
Cade’s hand stilled as he realized he’d been absent-mindedly rubbing his finger over one of the scars on Rafe’s back.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Cade said gently as he resumed stroking up and down’s Rafe’s entire back. Rafe turned his head away and Cade thought that was it but then he spoke softly, his words difficult to hear.
“It had some kind of metal prongs at the end though I didn’t know that until after.”
“After?” Cade prodded.
“After I agreed to it,” Rafe said.
Cade forced himself not to react an
d kept up his even rhythm of trying to soothe Rafe with his light touch.
“He was Gary’s dealer and one of my regulars. He offered me a lot of money to tie me up. He said it wouldn’t really hurt and that I’d end up liking it. I asked him for a trade instead.”
“Trade for what?”
“I asked him to make sure the next batch of heroin he sold to Gary was the really good stuff but not to tell Gary.”
Cade’s hand froze as he realized what Rafe was admitting to. “You wanted Gary to OD.”
“He did,” Rafe said, his voice hollow now. “One hit and I was free. He never even got the needle out of his arm.”
“And these?” Cade whispered as he stroked over the scars once more.
Rafe laughed coldly. “I guess I should be glad the guy tied me up and ignored the safe word he told me to use or the whole thing would have been off after the first hit.”
“Zip ties?” Cade said, his throat clogging with pain.
“They have no give,” Rafe stated simply. “My hands were tied together above my head and when he flipped me from my back to my front they twisted so tight I was afraid the blood supply would be cut off. I begged him to untie me but I think he liked it when I did that. I lost count after the first dozen hits but I could feel the blood running down my back. By the time he was done fucking me he was covered in it but he seemed to like that too.”
Cade felt like he was going to vomit and he tried to drag in some air to calm the nausea that burned his gut. Rafe didn’t seem to notice his distress because he continued to speak with little emotion.
“He kept up his end of the bargain, though. Two days later, Gary was dead.”
“How old were you?” Cade asked, fearing the answer.
“Fourteen.”
Jesus.
“What did you do then?” Cade asked.
Rafe turned once again to look at him. “The same thing I’d been doing. Taking my customers’ money and using their weaknesses against them.”
Redeeming Rafe Page 8
