Thomas's Choice

by Tina Folsom

  Trying to break the tearful atmosphere in the room, Cain tried for a joke. “And you’d better be raising her with a firmer hand than those dogs of yours.” He pointed to the two puppies running around in circles, swishing against his legs and tugging at his pant legs as if he were their favorite new toy.

  Haven grinned. “Oh those, yeah, we made a few mistakes with them.” He paused. “Want one?”

  Cain lifted his hands. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! I’m not going to let those little buggers wreak havoc in my house.”

  Haven shrugged and chuckled. “It was worth a try.”

  “Maybe the baby will enjoy playing with them.”

  Yvette smiled. “Does she have a name yet?”

  Cain shook his head. “There was no time. You’re her parents now. You decide.”

  “Thank you, Cain.”

  He was about to turn toward the door, when Yvette’s voice held him back. “One more question: who suggested that we should raise her?”

  “Maya.”

  Another sob tore from Yvette’s chest, as she repeated the name. “Maya.”

  21

  The nearly three-hour ride on the motorcycle seemed to take forever, when it should have gone by in a flash. Eddie had looked up the address and left as soon as the sun had set over the Pacific. He could have taken the blackout SUV and left during daylight, but he needed to feel the wind blow past his body. It gave him a sense of freedom that being cooped up in a car couldn’t provide. Not that it made his thoughts any clearer. They were still as muddled as ever. If not more.

  When he’d seen Thomas fight for the life of the pregnant woman and her child, his heart had gone out to him. He’d felt Thomas’s pain physically. Thomas had known her and Sergio, and even though they hadn’t been close friends, Eddie had felt the compassion that had poured from Thomas’s heart. Thomas had felt responsible for what had happened.

  The drive home on his motorcycle, with Thomas hugging him from behind, had been pure torture. He’d wanted to lean into him, to let him know that whatever pain Thomas felt, Eddie would comfort him. But when he’d felt the hard outline of Thomas’s erection press against his butt, he’d panicked and raced home as fast as the machine between his legs was capable of. He wanted to be Thomas’s friend, but he couldn’t give him more than that. Thomas had to understand that. There could never be more between them, because the things Eddie felt right now could only be short-lived. Some temporary confusion on his part.

  Eddie pulled to a stop in front of a large windowless bunker-like, two-story building. It lay hidden away at the end of a dirt path somewhere east of Sacramento, bordering on the foothills of the Sierras. He switched off the engine and dismounted, ridding himself of the helmet and attaching it to the handlebar.

  The building looked uninhabited and dark. Not a single light on the outside drew any attention to it. Looking around to see if anybody else was in the vicinity, yet noticing nobody, Eddie walked toward the entrance door. It was a simple, gray metal door without inscription. As if the only people coming here knew what lay behind these walls.

  The door buzzed, and Eddie pulled it open. His visit had been announced, and he was sure there were cameras mounted along the building perimeter for the people inside to be alerted to any guests or intruders.

  As he walked along the dark corridor and heard the door snap in behind him, Eddie inhaled.

  It smelled clean and sterile, and not musty like he had expected. He reached another door and again a buzzer sounded, allowing him to enter.

  He stepped into a brightly lit room and squinted for a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to the abundance of light. The room was a reception area with a counter and several uncomfortable-looking chairs. Clearly, this place wasn’t built for comfort or luxury. No penitentiary was.

  The vampire male behind the counter nodded to him. “Name?”

  “Eddie Martens.”

  He looked down on the clipboard in front of him and ticked something off. “You’re late.”

  “The traffic—”

  “Sign in here.” The clerk handed him the clipboard and pointed to a line.

  Eddie signed his name then handed the board and the pen back to the curt vampire.

  “You’ll have fifteen minutes with the prisoner.” The vampire pointed to a gray door.

  Eddie walked to it and opened it. He entered, the door closing behind him with a loud thud.

  Surprise made him catapult back against the door. He’d expected to be led down another corridor, but instead he found himself in a bare room with two chairs. One was occupied.

  “Eddie!” Luther jumped up, seemingly surprised and pleased at the same time. “They didn’t tell me who my visitor was.”

  Eddie lifted his hand, stopping Luther from coming any closer. “Luther.”

  He ran his eyes over him. Wearing a gray prison jumpsuit, Luther’s face looked washed out, lifeless. As if he’d lost his will to live. The light that he’d seen flicker in his eyes the moment Eddie had entered, seemed to have faded again.

  “How have you been?” Luther asked. “Are they treating you well?”

  Eddie nodded. “Scanguards has been good to me.” He pushed himself away from the door.

  “And you?”

  Luther shrugged. “I live.” He sighed. “But somehow I get the feeling you didn’t come to ask about my wellbeing.”

  “You’re right. They’ve given me fifteen minutes with you. So let’s not waste any time with chitchat neither of us is interested in.”

  “Let’s not,” Luther confirmed.

  “I want to know what you did to me.”

  Luther raised an eyebrow as if he didn’t understand the question. “What I did? Care to explain what you mean by that?”

  “During my turning. You screwed something up.”

  Luther moved his head from side to side. “From what I can see, you turned out just fine. A perfect vampire. Strong. Invincible.” He paused. “Although a little stubborn, but then you were stubborn even as a human.”

  Eddie clenched his teeth. “You changed something else about me. How I feel. What I feel.”

  Fuck, there was no easy way to say this. No words he could use to make this any less embarrassing. Did he have to spell it out?

  “I’m afraid you’ve lost me. Eddie, if there’s anything you want to know you’d better ask directly. I’m afraid my mind reading capabilities aren’t worth shit.” Luther tossed him a look as if he wanted to challenge him to a fight.

  “You changed something about me. You changed my . . . my desires,” he pressed out.

  “Are we talking bloodlust here?”

  How could one man be so dimwitted! Eddie made an impatient hand movement. “I’m not talking about fucking bloodlust. I’m talking about who I’m attracted to.”

  Slowly, one of Luther’s brows arched. Then his facial expression changed to one of understanding. “Ah, now I get it. You’ve switched camps.”

  Eddie made a step toward Luther and jammed his index finger into his chest. “It wasn’t my choice! You—”

  “It never is,” Luther interrupted. “Being gay has never been a choice. Nobody chooses to be gay, nor to be straight. It’s nature.”

  The word grated on him: gay. “I’m not gay!”

  “Ah, so you have gay tendencies, just like that preacher. What was his name?”

  Eddie ignored the question, his anger rising at Luther’s flippant attitude toward his problem.

  “I thought as my sire you’re supposed to support me. You screwed this up! You made me like this. Now change me back to how I was before.”

  Luther rocked back on his heels. “How you were before? Oh, Eddie, you’re still the same way you always were. Turning you into a vampire didn’t change who you are, or who you love.

  Whatever you feel now, it was already there when you were human. Latent, maybe. But you already had it in you.”

  Eddie pushed his hand against Luther’s shoulder, making him stumble back a few pa
ces.

  “What are you saying? That I was a fucking queer when I was human? I assure you, I wasn’t! I never looked at another man! I loved women!”

  “You did, huh? Well, you must have had girlfriends left, right, and center. With your looks and all, they must have been flocking to you. How was it? Lots of fucking?” A mocking expression spread over Luther’s face.

  Eddie sucked in a deep breath, his thoughts going back to his adolescence, his early manhood. He’d had the occasional girlfriend, and he’d certainly had sex with women before, but he hadn’t been promiscuous. He just wasn’t the type. He’d always respected women and wasn’t one to take advantage of them. In fact, he’d had lots of female friends.

  “I see,” Luther continued. “Not so much, huh? Guess you didn’t like fucking women so much after all, did you?”

  Angrily, Eddie shoved Luther against the wall. “You’re wrong! Just because I don’t sleep around, doesn’t mean I don’t love women.”

  “Don’t kid yourself, Eddie! If you’ve got the hots for men now, your true nature is finally coming out.”

  Before Eddie’s eyes, the picture of Thomas standing half-naked in front of the sink in the garage flashed. It sent a bolt of desire through his groin, spreading heat in his cells. Suddenly he fought for air.

  Unfortunately, his sire was perceptive as hell. “Oh, so it’s not just any man. It’s one in particular. Who is it who tickles your fancy? Do I know him?”

  “There’s nobody!” Eddie lied.

  “Lying doesn’t become you. Besides, you’re not very good at it.” Luther motioned his head to indicate the prison around him. “If I weren’t tied up here, I would have taught you. Instead, I had to leave you to Scanguards. To continue your education there.” He gave a crooked smile.

  “You promised me to make me strong, invincible. This wasn’t part of the bargain!”

  “No, it wasn’t part of the bargain, but that wasn’t my doing. Can’t you get that into your stubborn head? Guess not! Because as a vampire you’re even more stubborn than as a human.

  Whatever traits you had before, they only intensified as a vampire. That’s how it works! You were able to suppress whatever feelings for men you had when you were human, but now as a vampire, you can’t do that anymore. Your desires are stronger, and they’re growing stronger every day. Just give in and come out of the closet.”

  “No!” Eddie screamed. He couldn’t accept this. There had to be another explanation.

  Frustration howled through him. His fangs descended and his hands curled into fists. He watched himself as he slammed his right fist into Luther’s face, whipping his head sideways.

  “You did this to me!”

  Luther pushed him back into the middle of the room then came after him. “You wanna fight?

  Let’s do it. But it won’t change the facts!” His sire swung and landed a right hook under Eddie’s chin.

  Eddie tasted blood as his fangs pierced his own lip. It only made him angrier. Grabbing Luther by the shoulders, he catapulted him into the wall several feet behind him. Then he jumped at him and pounded his fists into him. But Luther was no willing punching bag. He fought back, attacking with his claws, slicing deep grooves into Eddie’s chest and arms.

  The scent of blood filled the room, and loud grunts mingled with the sound of breathing. It echoed in the nearly-empty room, bouncing off the walls.

  “So who is your lover then?” Luther provoked him.

  Narrowing his eyes and clenching his jaw, Eddie swung, aiming a blow at Luther’s temple.

  His knuckles cracked at impact, but he ignored the pain and continued punching his sire, even though he knew beating him wouldn’t change anything about the way he felt. It wouldn’t eradicate the feelings he had for Thomas.

  “Is he a vampire?”

  “I’m gonna shut your fucking mouth for you if you can’t do it yourself!” Eddie answered, and aimed for Luther’s mouth to ram the words back down his throat. But Luther sidestepped him and instead landed a blow to Eddie’s side, making him stumble.

  Luther’s taunting didn’t stop. “Is he any good?”

  Furious, Eddie fought to gain his balance back and threw himself onto Luther, tackling him to the ground.

  “Are you taking it up the ass or is he?”

  “Fuck you!” Eddie yelled and pinned him to the floor.

  Luther grinned through the blood that ran from his cracked lip. “No, fuck him! Because that’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You wanna fuck him, but you need an excuse, because you can’t admit what you are. You wanna blame somebody else for what you feel.”

  Eddie pulled back, breathing hard, his heart racing. But the fight was leaving him, deserting him like rats deserting a sinking ship. He was losing this battle.

  “I heard they assigned you a mentor. Why didn’t you ask him? He could have told you the same as I did. Would have saved you a trip.”

  Eddie avoided his gaze and rose. He wiped the blood off his face with the back of his hand, breathing hard.

  Then a short laugh burst from Luther’s lips. “Ah, now I see. You couldn’t ask him, could you? You couldn’t ask Thomas, because it’s all about him. He’s the one you want.”

  “Fuck you!” Eddie hissed and pressed the button next to the door to be let out.

  A moment later, he left Luther and the prison behind. Was Luther right? Had he always had gay tendencies as a human? Eddie remembered his early childhood and his friends from back then. He and Nina had lived with foster parents, but his early years in foster care had been nothing out of the ordinary. He’d been just like other little boys: curious. Didn’t all kids like to play doctor and examine each other’s bodies? He and another boy had sometimes played like that, curiously touching one another. Of course, that had stopped when his foster mother had caught them and sent the other boy home. He wasn’t allowed to visit again. And Eddie hadn’t been allowed to watch TV for a week. That had taught him, and he had never done it again.

  Later, when he’d joined the wrestling team of his high school, he’d always felt awkward in the locker room. Mostly because he’d gotten erections at the most inopportune times. It had been embarrassing, and some of the other boys had often locked him out of the showers because of it, not wanting him there when they showered. They’d bullied him because his body did things he had no control over.

  He’d quit sports then, and Nina had been disappointed because of it. She’d accused him of not being able to stick with something. Of course, he hadn’t been able to tell her what had really happened, because no 15-year-old boy talked to his sister about sexual stuff. He’d promised himself then that he wouldn’t disappoint her again. She had fought to gain guardianship of him in order to move out of the last foster home they’d stayed in, after their foster father had abused her, and Eddie didn’t want to seem ungrateful and load any more worries onto her shoulders.

  Had those incidents been indications of what his true nature was? The true nature that Luther was claiming was now emerging because he was a vampire?

  Had he hidden his urges so far in the depths of his psyche that he’d been completely blind to their existence?

  What would happen if he stopped fighting his desires from emerging? Would they destroy his relationship with Nina, his friendship with Thomas, and the life he’d built for himself?

  Would people treat him differently if they knew? Most of all, would Nina look at him with disappointment in her eyes again?

  22

  Thomas stood in the shower and let the warm water run down his body as if it could wash away his worries. Another night had passed without any sign of the four vampires who’d killed Sergio and his mate. And while he knew intellectually that he couldn’t have prevented this tragedy, in his heart he felt responsible.

  He tried to put the thoughts out of his mind, but that only meant that other thoughts pushed to the forefront. Thoughts about Eddie. He hadn’t seen him all night, and after checking the staff roster, he’d realize
d that Eddie had taken a vacation day. Samson himself had authorized it.

  Strange, neither Eddie nor Samson had mentioned anything to him. And Eddie had left on his motorcycle as soon as the sun had set.

  Thomas reached for the soap and lathered up, cleaning the grease from his body after he’d tinkered with one of his motorcycles for a few hours. It had helped him focus. He had to do something. Sitting around and waiting for the next atrocity to happen was not an option.

  Tomorrow night, he would go out and search for Xander, the man who’d asked him to join Kasper’s disciples. He would use him to ferret out the others and then figure out how to destroy them.

  Feeling better about having formulated a plan, he rinsed the soap off his body and turned off the water. There was silence now, but it was interrupted by the even breathing of a man other than himself. He inhaled and recognized the scent.

  “Leave!” he ordered and continued to stare at the tiles that lined his oversized shower stall.

  But no sound of footsteps followed his command.

  “Eddie, get out now! You can’t be in here. I don’t have the strength to suppress my desire for you, not today. You’re better off locking yourself in your room. Leave! Please leave!”

  He braced one hand against the tile wall, steadying himself while his body betrayed him, his cock pumping full with blood, making it rise like a Phoenix. There was no way he could turn around now. It was bad enough that Eddie could see his naked backside. Showing him his erection and admitting that he was powerless in his presence would only make things worse.

  When he heard bare feet on the floor, he almost let out a sigh of relief—until he realized that they were coming closer instead of moving away. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, fighting against the urge to turn around and pull Eddie into the shower with him.

  “You have to leave,” he begged once more, but it was too late.

  Eddie’s hand touched his shoulder, turning him around to face him. Eddie’s brown eyes looked straight at him, connecting with his gaze, before they wandered down his body, stopping at the place, where Thomas’s cock stood erect.