by Liv Morris
“I’m pretty sure you missed me the most, right?” Dave’s words made us all laugh.
“It’s true. You always made me laugh. Something that I’d almost forgotten how to do.” Her mood shifted suddenly. The sadness resurfaced.
“Well, having you laugh tonight will be our main goal.” Dave placed his hand across the top of her shoulder, a comforting gesture. “This gang of misfits knows how to have a good time. Right, Bradley?”
“We do,” I agreed. “I think that’s why we’re still hanging out together on Thursday nights. It’s like our church. Keeps us all going no matter what life throws our way.”
“I can see that.” Kelly’s smile was back. “I’m glad I came. When will everyone else get here? Tina said she might be running a bit late.”
“Tina’s late is relative,” I explained, looking at Dave for back up. “Usually, everyone is here by 7:30 Tina by eight.”
“The guys get here on time for the most part. When the gals join us, the evening starts a little later,” Dave said. I saw him looking up toward the door and waving his hand. “Looks like we have company.”
I turned around to see Matthew and Bob heading our way. Their eyes lit up in surprise when they saw Kelly seated at the table with us. I was the only guy Dave had told about her coming tonight and I loved seeing their faces. Shocked didn’t quite describe their reaction. They appeared almost as stunned as I had been. Matthew took quicker strides almost jogging toward the table after seeing her, so naturally he was the first to arrive.
Chapter 4: Kelly’s Turn
“Holy shit. Who do we have here?” Matthew asked. “I swear she looks like our Kelly. A prettier version but still… Someone’s been holding out on us. Dave?”
“Hi, Matthew. It’s been a long, long time,” I replied quickly. I hated being the center of attention but it was unavoidable tonight.
“Long? Try forever.” He walked around to me. My palms started to perspire. I hoped I didn’t have to stand up.
“Fourteen years,” I heard Bradley say. Matthew scooted around the back of my chair and took the seat next to me. I breathed a sigh of relief. No standing after all.
“Hey, what about me?” Bob protested as he stood next to Bradley across the table. “Don’t I get a hello?”
“Hi, Bob.” I smiled up at him and realized he still had that sweet baby face from his high school days, minus a little hair on top. “Who could forget you?”
“God, Kelly, you look great. Really, I can’t believe it. Haven’t aged a day.” Bob’s sincerity was always his most endearing quality. So hearing his compliment made me feel like I didn’t look too bad after all.
“Thanks, Bob. I appreciate it. And you still have that same sweet baby face I loved.” Bob sat down next to Bradley. I was now surrounded by the guys I had been the closest with during high school. One was my first lover, the others were like brothers. It felt good to be with them. All the familiar feelings that I’d forgotten came rushing back to me. They warmed me up. Comforted me. Filled a void that was bigger than I had realized.
“So what’s the deal, Kelly?” Matthew asked. “Besides being surprised, I’m also wondering what you’re doing here. The last I heard you were living in Atlanta.”
“I’ve moved back to Dallas for now.” I had a feeling I would be repeating what the heck I was doing here all night. Maybe I should’ve written it all down, handed out a memo.
“No way.” This time Bob chimed in. “Tell me you left that douchebag of a husband.”
“For Christ’s sake, Bob. Give her a break.” Bradley admonished. “We haven’t seen her in ages.”
“No, it’s okay. Really.” I tried to smooth things over because I knew that Bob was right. Joe was a complete bastard. He controlled everything about my life, down to how I wore my hair. But no more.
“I’m sorry, Kelly. I didn’t mean to be so crude but he never set right with me. What kind of man keeps his wife away from her best friends?”
“Well, if it makes you feel better. He’s staying in Atlanta.” I paused. “Permanently.”
After I told them where Joe was, I looked across the table right into Bradley’s blue eyes. His lips curled into a grin. A slight, no teeth showing grin, but he appeared pleased. And I was pleased that he was too.
“So tell us what you’ve been up to since high school.” Dave brought up a loaded subject, my life over the last fourteen years. I had no idea where to begin. I decided to summarize as best as I could.
“Well, after my freshman year, I transferred to Emory University in Atlanta.” I paused knowing where my story led, straight to Joe. “Joe graduated from Baylor and was accepted to Emory. I followed him there and we were married the summer after his first year of law school.”
While I spoke, I avoided Bradley’s eyes. My head refused to turn in his direction. I felt so uncomfortable talking about all of this now.
“The rest of the story is pretty simple. I became involved with Junior League, charity committee work, and focused on being the perfect wife.” I’m pretty sure my bitterness wasn’t hidden. “I succeeded at a few things, but failed miserably at one. Thus, I’m here now sitting with you all.”
Funny how a little reality can throw a cold blanket on a fun evening. Several of the guys shifted in their chairs uncomfortably probably wondering how to respond to me. I thought I’d rescue them, change the subject.
“Enough about me. Tell me what you all are doing. I remember you all having pretty big plans after graduating high school.” I glanced around the table. All eyes were on me and the look on each of their faces showed sympathy. I cringed thinking about what their reactions would be when they saw what I was hiding under the table.
Each one of the guys shared what they’d pursued as a career. They all had applied themselves and were living out their dreams. The only one left to share what they’d been up to was Bradley. Everyone got silent waiting for him to start, but he didn’t look like he was beginning anytime soon. His head remained down toward the table as he fiddled with the label on his Heineken. His eyes were hidden, as an awkward silence seemed to grow. Thankfully, a woman’s voice sounded out behind him breaking the tension.
“Hey, Kelly.” It was Tina, all smiles and peppy energy. “I can’t believe it! Look at you! Wow!”
“Hi, Tina!” How I’d missed all her enthusiasm. We’d cheered together back in high school. It was a gift of hers, making people smile. She walked over to me and I knew the moment was about to come. I’d be standing soon. My secret no longer hidden.
“I can’t tell you how I’ve missed you. Give me a hug.”
Her arms opened up to me. Reaching out in an invitation. All I had to do was stand, but my legs felt like lead, heavy and not co-operating. Finally, they started to flex and lift my body, awkwardly heavy in the middle as it adjusted to my new weight gain. I braced myself against the table and slowly rose. I braced my heart too.
Fully standing now, I saw Tina’s shocked face. Her eyes were fixed on my stomach taking in my five-month baby bump. I’m fairly certain everyone’s eyes at the table were doing the same. The silence was pretty damn loud actually. Even Matthew stopped mid-sentence.
Tina’s eyes flew up to meet mine, but they were glistening. I think my hesitation for coming tonight was apparent now. It all made sense to her. Tina pulled me into a big hug, one that I gladly welcomed. Silly me, I felt the fear and tension of having my secret known leave me in the form of tears. Maybe they were tears of relief. I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t stop them now if I tried.
Tina pushed away from me slightly and looked into my eyes. Hers spoke to me without a word. She understood. I’d left my husband, pregnant. Who does something like that? God, my story was long and screwed up. Somehow I’d have to stick with the condensed version tonight.
“Hey guys, “ Tina said. “I think Kelly and I need a minute here. Will you all excuse us?”
“Sure,” I heard Bradley reply. He spoke softly. Even with one word, I heard his concer
n.
“Come on, Kelly.” Tina placed her hand around my shoulders and started to steer me toward the restroom signs nearby. But I hated to leave the guys with so much drama. It was a fact that I’d have to face, a pretty damn obvious one. So I tried to throw out a little joke before heading off with Tina.
“Don’t worry guys. It’ll all be worked out in four months.” A few nervous laughs followed, but Bradley looked at me. He said nothing out loud, but his compassionate gaze soothed my heart. He looked like he wanted to be the one with his arms around me. Something unspoken passed between us and I knew he’d be there for me. It was as if he said aloud, “Kelly, I’m here for you.”
I turned my head and smiled up at Tina. “Nothing like a dramatic hello after being MIA for fourteen years.”
“Grand and shocking. Now I understand why you wanted to be the first one here tonight.” She let out a nervous giggle. “I can’t believe my mother didn’t know. I guess yours has kept this secret. Has to be a first for her.”
“I think she’s in total denial that I left Joe, I’m pregnant and I’m divorcing him.” I watched Tina open the bathroom door and followed her inside. “Not a great homecoming for her, or me really.”
“No it’s not.” Tina grabbed a few tissues by the sink and handed them to me. “Here.”
“Thanks.” I wiped the tears from my eyes and glanced into the mirror. I was a flushed, bleary-eyed mess. “I guess you want to know what the hell happened right?”
“Only if you want to tell me the details,” she said. “I’m curious, but mostly concerned about you. Are you okay?”
“As okay as can be expected.” Then I began to share. “It’s over between Joe and me. He’s convinced that the baby isn’t his. Even wanted me to, in his words, ‘get rid of it.’ So much for his being pro-life.”
“No way.” Tina’s face was a troubled mix between disgust and shocked. “I knew he was a fake from day one. I mean, it is a choice, no doubt. But he’s a hypocrite to ask that of you since he’s been gearing up for years to run as a pro-life candidate for governor.”
“What Joe lets the world see of him, is a façade. Nothing about his public side is real.” I lowered my head. This shit was harder to confess than I’d thought. “After he asked me to get rid of the baby, I had to leave him. It was the last straw.”
“You’re really brave, Kelly. He controlled everything in your life. I’m sure you’ve felt all alone in your decision.”
“I have. Not a single friend in Atlanta helped me. I left our house with only a suitcase. Most of my clothes didn’t fit me anyway. I mailed some keepsakes from high school to my parents’ house. Gifts that Bradley had given me, actually. Joe never knew the story behind them.”
“Wow. You’ve been through hell.” Her acknowledgment of my plight comforted me. Even my own mother didn’t want to hear the details. She kept telling me to give Joe another chance, but all he was getting from me was a cold chance in hell.
“It’s been intense and hard. I wake up in my parent’s house each morning and wish I was eighteen again. Just graduating from high school. Then I try to get out of bed with this stomach of mine, and reality hits me.”
“In all of it, Kelly, I’m proud of you. Joe has never deserved you and he sure as hell doesn’t now.”
“It’s funny. As my plane took off for Dallas, I felt so relieved and free. No Joe sitting by me watching my every move. It was the first time in years I made a big decision for myself. And one that directly shoved my fist in Joe’s face.”
“No kidding,” Tina agreed. “Has the bastard tried to talk to you?”
“He called my parents. I left my cell phone on the kitchen counter so he knew that he couldn’t reach me that way.”
“Nice. You thought of everything.”
“Actually, I’d wanted to leave him for a long time, but I tried to stick it out. I’d made a commitment to him. Better or worse. But his worse became more than I could stand.”
“So have you talked to him?”
“After calling my parents relentlessly, I finally decided to speak to him.” I lowered my head and trembled slightly as I remembered Joe’s words. “He called me every name in the book. Told me that he’d been having an affair with his co-worker for years and he’d never give me a dime in a divorce. Basically that he’d make my life hell.”
“He told you all of that?” I nodded my head in confirmation. “That had to hurt.”
“His words didn’t faze me. I felt nothing when he told me. My feelings toward him are gone.” I took a short breath and leaned against the sink’s countertop. “I don’t even hate him anymore. I was furious at one time, before I left, but now there’s nothing there.”
“I’m so sorry, Kelly. I can’t believe what you’re going through.” Tina placed her hand over mine. “I want you to know you aren’t going through this alone. I’m here for you. Anything you need. Just ask. Okay?”
“You don’t know how much those words mean to me. I’ve been a terrible friend to you and here you are giving me your support. Thanks.” Now I was crying again. What a mess.
I found myself in Tina’s arms once again. She held me tightly and told me everything would be okay. I hoped to hell she was right. I decided to have faith in her faith. Mine was completely spent.
“Let’s freshen up your face and head back to the table. I know you haven’t seen these guys in years, but they’re all wonderful men now. They’re like my brothers. I know they’ll band together and be there for you.”
“They really are a great guys. I think I probably freaked them out though. I’d been hiding in my chair since Bradley and Dave arrived.”
My eyes turned to the mirror and what I saw reflecting back at me would scare them even more.
“Look at me. I’m a complete mess.” I turned to Tina. “Do you have any powder? Maybe some lipstick?”
“What southern girl leaves home without her powder and lipstick?” We giggled at her remark. It was funny and true. She reached in her purse and handed me the makeup.
“I feel better now that we’ve talked. I’ve held everything in since I decided to leave Joe. No one has wanted to listen to me. My friends in Atlanta wouldn’t return my calls or emails.” I laid the makeup down and squeezed her hand gently to emphasize my words. “I appreciate your being here for me.”
“I’m here for the long haul.” She softly patted my belly. “You’re going to need a few extra hands around to help you when this little one’s born.”
“It’s overwhelming when I stop and think about raising this child on my own. I don’t have a job here and no one will hire me in this condition. At least my parents are letting me stay with them.”
I quickly dusted my face with her powder. It calmed down the angry red splotches left from my crying. My bloodshot eyes were another story.
“Your parents will come around,” Tina said encouragingly. “They just need a little bit of time, Kelly. Our folks are set in their ways. It takes them awhile to accept the curves and bumps in life.”
“I hope you’re right. They’ve started to see what a jerk Joe really is. He’s withholding money from me. Making all kinds of excuses. Remind me never to marry an attorney again.”
“Speaking of attorneys,” she began. I looked at her puzzled. “Dave told me this afternoon that Bradley finalized his divorce today. It’s been a long, hard year for him. Actually, the last few have been. Unfortunately, you two have a lot in common. But one thing is different, he had a good attorney. Something you need a.s.a.p.”
“Joe wants us to use the same attorney in Atlanta. I know he’s railroading me, but I don’t have access to any of our accounts. No money means I can’t afford my own.”
“We’ll figure this all out. Trust me. Once the guys know what you’re going through, they’ll start pulling some strings. Before long, Joe won’t know what hit him.” Tina started walking to the door. “Let’s get back out there and join the Love Handles, whatta you say?”
“Sounds
good. Though I’m not sure what to tell them.”
“Leave that to me if you’d like. I can get the subject started and rescue you if need be.”
“That’d be great. Thanks.”
I started to follow Tina out the door, but stopped in my tracks when I spotted Bradley leaning against the wall opposite the door’s opening. His hands pushed deep into his front pockets as his eyes searched my face, looking for some direction I think. There was only one direction for me, toward him.
My feet moved to him as if they had no choice. A feeling of deja vu flashed through my mind. We had similar meetings in the halls of Highland Park High; Bradley waiting for me outside my classes after the bell rang. Everything in me wanted to pretend that we were back there one more time, innocent to all life’s pains and struggles. But when Bradley glanced at my belly, I was quickly reminded that I was a thirty-three-year-old pregnant woman who’d left her husband. Nowhere close to the young girl of my youth.
“I think I’ll head back to the table. Let you two talk,” Tina stated. Turning my head toward her I gave a quick smile of thanks, but she was gone before I could speak a reply.
“So,” I said with a shy glance to the side. My eyes returned to the floor between us.
‘So,” Bradley echoed. We were back to the same silly awkwardness we had when Dave left us alone earlier.
My head was still tilted down. I wasn’t brave enough to face him eye to eye yet. I needed to muster up some courage quickly. There was no escaping him now. We were standing so close to one another. I could even hear him breathing.
I saw Bradley’s hands reaching for mine right before they touched me. He curled his fingers around mine and gently shook them. He wanted my attention, so I looked up to find his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. A calm sea of blue for me.
And mine then filled with tears. A sea of a different kind. Tumultuous. I felt the tears falling down my cheeks. What was wrong with me tonight? I couldn’t hold my feelings in no matter how hard I tried. I was an emotional wreck. But Bradley didn’t seem to care. He brought his thumbs to my cheeks and gently wiped away the trail of my tears.
