by Liv Morris
“Kelly, I’m so sorry. For everything.” His voice cracked and I tried to see him clearly through the clouds in my eyes. But it looked like his eyes were swimming like mine.
I was too upset to utter a single word and he must have known, because he drew me to him. A large solid wall that cushioned me like a pillow as I sank against him. My tears now turned to sobs. I shook with the weight of my feelings. His hand rubbed my back in slow comforting circles as he quietly spoke soothing words. Telling me that everything would be all right. I melted further into him as he whispered to me.
After a few minutes in his arms, every tense muscle I had gave way and a deep sigh escaped my lips. I circled my arms around his waist relishing in him. He felt so damn good. It felt so good to have someone strong to lean on. Strong. In control.
His words, his arms, his comfort… They were the solace I needed and craved.
As I relaxed, the tears stopped flowing and I felt my body start to still. After a few deep breaths, I peered up into his eyes to find him looking warmly at me.
Chapter 5: Bradley’s Turn
My arms wrapped around Kelly’s tiny body. She seemed so fragile. I was afraid to hold her too tightly as she was the first pregnant woman I’d ever held this close. I’d often dreamt of having her in my arms again, though this may not have been the exact scenario. But being here to calm her trembling body as she sobbed into my chest, well, there was no other place I wanted to be. My place was right here with her.
As she cried, I wondered what had led her here. What made her leave Joe while being pregnant? Honestly, I was as mad as hell that she was hurting and alone. She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would separate from the father of her child without a good reason. I wondered what the bastard had done to her. My mind raced with possibilities.
I reined in my angry thoughts to focus on what she needed right now. I wanted to do something, anything, to make her pain go away. I wouldn’t let her down this time. I just prayed she’d give me a chance to help even if only as a friend. I couldn’t expect anything more.
Finally, she stirred and her face turned up to mine. I smiled down at her, trying to assure her that she was welcome in my arms. I loved having her so close, but she was wreaking havoc on me physically. I tried to ignore the softness of her breasts pressed against my chest. The sweet scent of her perfume. Her hands wrapped around my waist. God, she was killing me and I couldn’t push all the lustful thoughts out of my mind. It had been well over a year since I’d had a woman in my arms. And she wasn’t just any woman. She was the one I’d missed and hated myself for losing.
I wanted to kiss her tear-stained cheeks. Feel her soft lips against mine. I felt myself getting hard as my thoughts continued down a dangerous path. Damn, I shouldn’t have been thinking like that. Kelly needed a friend not a man wanting in her pants. Somehow, I had to stop my body’s reaction to her. She was pregnant and hurting, surely, I had enough character somewhere deep inside to stop myself from lusting after her. Though my yearlong celibacy wasn’t helping one bit either.
Thankfully, she pulled slightly away from me, her body no longer making direct contact with mine. But then I realized her hands were gripping my waist tightly. Too damn close to where my body wanted her. Still, I could breathe a little, calm my shit down hopefully.
“I’m so sorry, Bradley. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not usually a crier,” Kelly finally spoke. I was relieved she’d calmed down enough to talk. I felt her hands move from my waist then watched her fingers rub beneath her eyes.
“No apologies needed. I’m glad I can be here for you.” I wanted to add, “Like I should’ve been years ago,” but let it drop. That talk would come later hopefully.
“I’m sure I look an absolute mess.” She bowed her head like she was trying to hide from me. “Great impression right?”
“Like I said, no apologies, no worries.” I lifted her chin up with my fingers making eye contact. She needed to see that I was serious about what I said. “And you’ve never looked more beautiful to me.”
“Oh, Bradley, you can’t say things like that and expect me not to start crying again.” Her eyes started filling with tears again. “It’s been years since I’ve heard someone call me beautiful.”
Years? You had to be kidding me… That jerk of a husband. He had no idea what he had in her. I felt the anger resurfacing that I had shoved aside. Joe was a bastard. No other word for him. This woman needed to hear that she was a beauty every single day.
“I don’t know what you’ve been through, but it sounds like you’ve experienced a little bit of hell.”
“You have no idea. But it’s over now. Thank God.” She glanced at her stomach. “Well, it’s not all over really. I can deal with what’s ahead now, though.”
A couple of women walked by us as they headed to the restrooms. Their faces showed concern, probably wondering what was going on between Kelly and me. I smiled and tipped my head their way to give them a little reassurance that everything was okay.
“You’re a brave woman to be facing…” I glanced to her stomach, “everything on your own. I have an idea. Did you drive here?”
“I did,” she replied. “I borrowed my parents’ car. Just like I was sixteen again.” She laughed almost seeming embarrassed.
“Dave brought me tonight. I was planning on having a few drinks, but I was thinking maybe we could go back to my house. I have some steaks I could throw on the grill. How does that sound?”
“I don’t know.” Kelly hesitated and pulled her pouty lower lip between her teeth. Damn if it didn’t turn me on.
“We could sit out on my deck. Enjoy the nice spring evening and catch up.” I was pulling out all the stops and holding my breath that she’d say yes. I’d get down on my knees and beg if I had to.
“Well, I do feel a little spent and maybe not up for a big group after all. All these crazy emotions of mine…” She focused intensely on my eyes before continuing. “I do feel better talking with you, though. You always got me, Bradley. I never had to explain myself to you. And God knows I could really use a friend like that now.”
“Same back to you, beautiful.” Without thinking, I let my fingers push a stray strand of her hair away from her cheeks. Those soft, tear-stained cheeks. It took all I had not to pull her to me again. However, I think her use of the word “friend” made me realize that we had to cross that bridge first… becoming friends again after so many years apart, but I had a feeling we were well on our way.
“Thanks, Bradley.” She smiled sweetly at me. I swore my heart skipped a beat. She was killing me and I loved it.
“Why don’t we stop back by the table, speak to the gang, and then…” Kelly interrupted me before I finished my sentence.
“Head out like a baby?” She said then started to laugh, the “I can’t stop” kind. And I joined in too.
“Damn,” was all I could get out as we laughed together. I think it was just what she needed too.
I followed her to the table as she walked my hand pressed against the small of her back. My fingers lightly rubbed her and she didn’t seem to mind. She glanced to the side and gave me a big smile. It was a smile to let me know that she was doing all right now. I hoped that my encouragement gave her a little strength.
Matthew was the first one to see us as we moved closer. His face perked up and a sense of relief was evident on it. “Hey, guys,” he said as we stood by the table. Kelly didn’t take a seat so I was following her lead and remained on my feet.
“Hey,” Kelly said back. “Sorry about all the drama. It wasn’t my finest moment. I thought I was better prepared for…”
“No need to explain, Kelly,” Matthew interjected. “Tina gave us a quick rundown. And I can speak for each one of the guys here and say we’re going to do everything possible to help you.
“Wow, you don’t know how much I appreciate it. I can’t even begin to tell you. For the first time in months, I don’t feel alone in all of this.”
/> Kelly’s voice faded away at the end and I worried she was going to cry again. But she turned her head my way and smiled after she spoke. She was okay. I think she just needed her old friends around her showing her they cared and supported her. No woman should go through this alone and now she knew that she wouldn’t be facing it by herself. We were there for her.
“Would you all be upset if we bugged out?” I looked at all the faces around the table and watched big smiles appear. Yeah, they were probably thinking what I was hoping… Kelly and I back together once again. Just like old times.
“Of course not,” Tina replied. “We can all catch up later this weekend. Remember, I’m having you all over to my house. Pool opening.”
“Oh, I forgot about that.” I winced knowing the divorce finalizing had occupied my mind more than it should have. “I plan on being there.”
“Kelly, I hope you can come too,” Tina said. “I was going to ask you tonight. Saturday night around seven. Hamburgers on the grill by the pool. It’ll still be too cold to swim.”
“Thanks, Tina, I’d love to come. But I don’t think I’ll let myself be seen in a swimsuit anytime soon,” Kelly responded.
“I’m glad you can come and don’t even think that about the bathing suit,” Tina continued. “You look terrific. Right guys?”
Tina looked straight at me and winked. She knew exactly what she was up to. All the guys chimed in and agreed with her. All the compliments must have been good for Kelly as she beamed. I had a feeling her self-esteem was shot and I think this group of friends was just what she needed to rebuild it.
“Aw, thanks,” Kelly said sheepishly. “You sure know how to make a girl feel good.”
“It’s true, Kelly,” Tina chimed in. “I was a swollen mess at the end of my first trimester. You’re only showing in your tummy.”
“For now, maybe, but I have a feeling things are going to change.”
I felt it was time to take our leave, so I spoke up. “Kelly, you ready?” I asked. “I’ve got some steaks with our names on them back at the house.”
“Wow, look at you Bradley,” Dave nearly shouted. I gave him a not too gentle or subtle punch on the arm to get him to shut up. After watching him flinch, I was pretty sure he got the message.
“Sorry, just kidding,” he tried covering his tracks. Whatever. He teases all the time, but this was a little too much for me, and likely Kelly too.
“I’m rescuing her from all of you guys for the night.” I had to laugh. Kelly laughed too. Thank God.
“I think we have a lot to talk about too.” Kelly’s eyes looked into mine as if she wanted to say more and I hoped she’d have a chance to later.
Finally, Tina came to our rescue and spoke up, “ You all enjoy yourselves. How about we do lunch tomorrow, Kelly?”
“Sure,” Kelly replied. “I’d love to.”
“Let’s meet at Cafe Pacific in Highland Park Village about noon.”
“Sounds great. I love that place and haven’t been there in years.”
Kelly stopped and scanned the table, stopping at each one of the guys sitting there. I think we could all tell that she had something more to say.
“Thanks for all your support tonight. I was super nervous about everyone’s reaction to seeing me, especially being in this condition.” She looked down at her stomach but kept her smile intact.
“I’m so glad you came tonight, Kelly. You can count on us too. No way we’ll let you go through this alone.” Dave smiled reassuringly at her.
She placed her hand on Dave’s shoulder and bent down to kiss his cheek, which instantly turned red. Who knew old Dave could blush? I had to laugh.
“You’re so sweet,” Kelly said to Dave as she teasingly ruffled her hands through his hair. I think having her here was good for everyone, not just her.
After another round of goodbyes, we were finally heading to the door. My hand stayed placed on the small of her back the entire walk to the entrance. It was hard to believe how this day had turned around for me. I woke up with divorce papers on my mind, and now I felt the body heat against my palm of the only woman I’d ever truly loved. I couldn’t imagine a better ending to this day and it wasn’t even over yet.
Chapter 6: Kelly’s Turn
Nearly eight weeks had passed since I saw Bradley at my first Love Handles gathering. That night was nerve racking, crazy and wonderful all mixed into one. In my mind, I still can see his face as he walked through the doors of the pub. He took my breath away then and still does now.
We’d left the pub early and went back to his house, a lovely home in Highland Park, not far from where he’d grown up. I knew that he’d done well for himself; Tina had told me a few bits and pieces over the years, nothing specific, though. I’d never asked questions either, as I didn’t want to hear about him being happy with someone else. But I had no idea what he’d been doing to achieve the kind of wealth that a home like his would cost. It was phenomenal. Over the top beautiful. And big, Texas-sized big.
However, in all of its beauty the house seemed lonely to me. A big mansion with only him wandering around in it. The thought of this made me sad. All this achievement on his part, but no one to share it with. Perhaps that was why he wanted to bring me back to his house. He’d been alone for too long and seemed to enjoy having me there with him. He grilled up some delicious steaks and never let my drink get even half-empty. He was so attentive and caring. The sweet young boy I’d known had become a beautiful grown man. Thankfully, the sweet in him had never left or changed, though. He was the same Bradley that I remembered and adored.
After dinner, we sat silently on his patio by the pool, gazing off at the horizon’s last fading rays of light. He gradually started to open up to me about his life as the last of the sun disappeared and twilight’s darkness wrapped around us. Perhaps it shielded us from seeing each other’s faces, protecting us as we spoke of our hurts and disappointments. Our dark days stayed there in the dark.
His failed marriage was the first topic he brought up. How it was doomed from the start. He’d met his now ex-wife in college. Her father owned a large defense contracting company in Dallas and needed a male heir to take over his company when he retired. His father-in-law felt his daughter wouldn’t have been taken seriously in the male-dominated defense industry, but he’d thought Bradley had been a perfect fit, a natural born leader and sharp as a tack.
For Bradley it was a twofer, a wife and a company. For a young man getting out of school without a job secured, he caved and grabbed the carrot dangling in front of him. He swore there was never any true love between them. It started as a partnership and ended as a failed business agreement.
His share of the business had been substantial, as he’d helped to take the company public. Once that had happened, his personal portfolio had become worth millions. But his personal life had added up to nothing. And before long he and his wife were sleeping on opposites ends of the house. This part of his story was difficult to hear. I knew all too well what it was like living inside a passionless marriage. It left a person hollow with a sadness that couldn’t be lifted. Memories of that hopeless feeling still haunted me.
He and I had been through some shitty years. We’d both married the wrong person and it had taken years for us to realize or admit to our mistake. I told him how Joe had been waiting for me when I arrived back at Baylor after leaving UT so many years ago. Mentioning that fateful day was difficult, I could feel the tension between us increase, but it had to be said. There was no moving forward without speaking about our past.
I softly spoke of the day I’d left him standing in his fraternity room. I told Bradley that I’d called Joe in tears as I tried to drive back to Waco. Joe almost talked me into pulling over and waiting for him to come get me, but somehow I’d pulled myself together and made the two-hour trip. Once he’d seen my car pull into my dormitory’s parking space, he’d come running toward me full speed. My tears had started falling in streams again too. I found myself engulfe
d in his arms. He’d comforted me, hushed my whimpering sobs.
But now looking back at that young, vulnerable girl, I knew the truth about Joe’s comfort. It was a cold and calculating love meant to get him what he wanted to possess… me. I’d never quite figured out why Joe decided that I was the girl for him. The one. The only. And once he’d put on his charms, I was really no match for him. I was sad and broken. He’d been too eager to fix me, so I’d let him. It became a pattern for us. Joe, deciding what was best. Joe dictating what I would do.
I remembered Bradley trying to apologize to me. He begged me actually, but I told him that we were both young and needed to look beyond that day. I shouldn’t have run off, but I had. We each had regrets and if we were going to continue to be friends, I felt the past should be buried along with our past marriages. We needed to start our friendship or whatever we had anew.
Initially, I worried that our reconnecting was on overdrive, progressing far too fast. But after a couple weeks of trying to keep things between us as friends, I decided to give in and follow my heart, throw caution to the wind.
And I was so thankful that I did as it led me back into the arms of the most beautiful man I’d ever known. Every time we talked on the phone, exchanged texts, or got together in person, our relationship grew, became stronger. He was patient and didn’t push me, and under the circumstances I found myself in, I appreciated his restraint. I could tell he wanted more between us from almost day one of our being back in each other’s lives. However, it took me a little time to come around. I was pregnant, newly separated from Joe and facing a wall of problems trying to divorce him.
All my troubles, not to mention the pregnancy, didn’t seem to bother Bradley. He took all the insanity I was dealing with in stride. He held my hand and encouraged me every time I felt like giving up, which happened countless times a day. He kept my head above water when I felt like I was drowning. I owed him so much… especially after today.
We were on a plane heading to Atlanta to have a meeting with Joe and his attorney. My stomach felt queasy at the thought of facing Joe again. It was D-Day for me, and Bradley too.
