Let Me Be Your Last (Music and Letters Series Book 4)

by Lynsey M. Stewart

  ‘Ah, the lovely Ben who gets to spend the rest of his life with this amazing woman.’ Abi lifted her champagne glass and I followed, clinking the rim.

  ‘How is Ben coping?’ I asked.

  ‘He’s stressed out. He’s been cleaning our rings constantly.’

  ‘I bet he has, the filthy animal.’ I glanced from Abi’s mouth, still not quite believing what left it sometimes, and found Elle. She was smiling. We were safe. I’d never pegged the girl down as a bridezilla, but these last few countdown weeks to the wedding were going to be a trial. After asking me to be her maid of honour, she’d promptly sent an email with a Pinterest link titled: I expect you to help make my Pinterest wedding board a reality.

  ‘I’m choosing to ignore you today. It’s better for everyone,’ Elle said, taking a gulp of champagne. ‘Do you want to see me in my dress or not?’

  ‘Been waiting my whole life,’ Abi replied. To anyone who didn’t know Abi, that statement would have come across as sarcastic, but I knew it was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

  ‘I’ll show you my dress and then you can have your fittings,’ Elle said as she pulled the curtain across the cubicle.

  We had been to the bridal shop before, but only to choose our bridesmaid outfits, not to see Elle’s dress. Elle had chosen the dress with her mum and then had a second opinion from Ben’s mum, but she wanted to wait for us to see it. When choosing our dresses, we came to the conclusion that getting three very different friends, one with an aversion to showing too much flesh, one who wanted to show it all off and the other on a Skype call at the other end of the world, didn’t really help the decision making process. Elle made a firm and steady decision that suited everyone. She said simply that she couldn’t imagine putting us in the same dresses because we were all so unique and she wanted to reflect that on her wedding day. I chose a short, silver dress with a lace panel, Kate chose a long silver dress with a crystal belt, and Abi chose a strapless silver playsuit. You couldn’t get more different looks, but somehow they worked.

  ‘This isn’t a final fitting, is it? Because I’m on a totally out of the norm crisp binge and if she doesn’t calm down the hissy fits, I’ll be eating cake for breakfast,’ Abi replied, pointing to the cubicle where Elle was getting changed.

  A voice came from the cubicle. ‘I heard that. As bridesmaid, it’s your job to calm me down. And no, it’s not the final fitting, but more importantly, why are you binging on crisps?’

  ‘Emotional eating. I read about it online. I think it’s all the reunions I’m doing. I found a birth mother for a bloke who’d been searching for years. It’s playing havoc with my astounding ability to remain stony-faced at work.’

  ‘Can someone Skype Kate? I really want her to see the dress at the same time as you,’ Elle asked. I took out my phone and dialled her number. Surprisingly, she answered on the second ring.

  ‘Hey, Gem,’ Kate said. Abi waved her hand in front of the phone. ‘Hi, Abi.’

  ‘Kate, my travelling temptress, how are you?’ Abi shouted as she took another sip of champagne.

  ‘Is it time?’ Kate asked. ‘Have I missed the big reveal?’ She seemed out of breath, and when I held the phone up, I saw that she was bobbing around the screen like she was running.

  ‘What are you doing? Where are you? It looks chilly where you are. Why are you wearing a coat?’

  The old brass bell clanged above the door and the screen went black as I lost my connection to Kate.

  ‘I’m wearing a coat because it’s bloody freezing!’

  Abi and I turned to the door where Kate was hiding underneath her hood, her brown hair peeking out around the edges and her phone still in her hand.

  ‘Oh my God!’ we screamed in unison, all flinging our arms around her.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Abi asked, squeezing her and pulling her away quickly to see her face. ‘You said you wouldn’t be back for another few weeks.’

  ‘Change of plan. I wanted to keep it a surprise. You look so good!’ Kate grabbed me. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’

  ‘I thought you’d be barefoot and pregnant when you arrived back on British soil,’ Abi said.

  ‘What? No, of course not. Danny would freak. My career break is over. I’m due at work in a few weeks. Do you think Jamie will have me back?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Are you kidding me? Jesus, he’ll be ecstatic.’

  ‘Where are you staying? What are the plans?’ Abi was pelting Kate with questions and she’d only been back in England for a few hours.

  ‘We’re staying with my parents until we find somewhere,’ she replied.

  ‘I feel I need to prepare your mother. She’s very house proud; I’m not sure she’ll cope with Danny fucking you on every viable surface,’ Abi said, laughing. ‘He may need to curb his appetite.’

  ‘I’ll admit, he’s not fully on board with the arrangements, but hopefully we can rent somewhere pretty soon. The guy at the gallery where he had his exhibition before we left has given him some space to use as his studio. He’s really excited.’

  ‘Will someone tell me what’s going on?’ Elle asked, still in the cubicle.

  ‘I couldn’t miss out on the preparations for the biggest day of your life,’ Kate replied, but Elle didn’t answer. A few sniffles later, we decided to wait until she was ready to come out. ‘I came all the way back from Asia to see you in your dress. This better be good.’

  ‘This is amazing,’ Elle said, clearly in the throes of losing her emotional shit. ‘I can’t believe this. This couldn’t be better. Are you all sitting down?’

  ‘She’s going to milk this,’ Abi said, laughing.

  ‘Let her have her moment,’ I replied, and as the assistant pulled back the curtain, we all lost our voices. Our little snappy comments that we knew made each other laugh, Abi’s biting humour and Kate’s quiet responses, all lost. Because in front of us was a vision so perfect we couldn’t bring ourselves to look away. Elle stepped forward and laughed as the lady helping her dress gave her a bouquet of sparkling crystal flowers to hold.

  She smoothed down the front of the dress with her hands. ‘Well, what do you think?’

  Abi sat forward and clasped her hands against her heart, charged with emotion and so unlike her. Kate was sitting in a similar pose but had her hands clasped around her mouth. I was smiling, the rush of happiness overtaking me. The dress was perfect. It was strapless and tight fitting, hugging her hips and pushing her cleavage. It fell into a mermaid tail train behind her and the tiny diamonds stitched onto the lace glinted and glistened as it caught hold of the light. She pressed her hands against her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I’m trying to hold it all in and you not saying anything isn’t helping. I want to hug her.’ She pointed to Kate with the bouquet as her voice started to shake. ‘So badly. Please say something so I can do that.’

  ‘Turn around,’ I said. The dress followed Elle’s curves, hugging her behind like they were soul mates. Ben was a bum man and it was clear that Elle had chosen this dress for him and him alone.

  Abi stood first, followed by Kate. They held back and waited for me to approach Elle. When I saw her anxious face and hard lip bite, the tears I had been holding onto made a break for it and nothing else felt right until I threw my arms around her. Abi and Kate followed and there we stood, a friendship sandwich, hugging each other like our lives depended on it. The emotion of seeing our beautiful Elle in her wedding dress for the first time and having Kate back with us was too much to hold back.

  ‘I love you so much,’ I whispered in Elle’s ear. ‘You look absolutely stunning. It’s perfect.’ I felt her head nod against me.

  ‘It’s perfectly you. It was made for you,’ Kate said, stroking Elle’s hair.

  We turned to Abi, who was now standing with her hands on her hips watching Elle with a naughty gleam in her eye.

  ‘Oh, this is going to be good,’ I said, laughing through a sob. ‘Wait for it.’

  She turned Elle aro
und by her hips and studied her. ‘Your arse looks like it’s on its five millionth squat and is giving you a high five because you’ve both made it unscathed and perky as fuck.’ Elle laughed as Abi got on her knees and rubbed Elle’s bum cheeks.

  ‘You think he’ll like it?’ Elle asked.

  ‘You’re giving me a nipple hard-on,’ Abi replied, blinking back tears. ‘Ben will have you out of that dress quicker than you can say: You may now kiss the fucking bride.’

  Chapter 42

  Josh

  I’d just flicked the crumbs onto the floor and placed my plate in the sink, a piss poor attempt at tidying the kitchen, when I heard the buzzer of my flat go. I checked my watch and did the ridiculous thing of wondering who the fuck was calling at this time of night. It may not have been midnight, but I was the type of guy who liked to climb into pyjama bottoms when I had decided to call it a night.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hey, I wasn’t sure if you would be home or…awake.’ Her voice filled my senses and travelled across my shoulders on a tingly trail down my spine. I braced my hand on the wall to hold myself up.

  ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Jay has the boys tonight and I was all set for catching up with the girls. Kate’s home from Asia, which is fantastic, but after two tequilas, she was ready for sleep. Elle and Abi just wanted to go home to be with their men. It was all very disappointing until I realised that I wanted the same and could actually make it happen.’

  ‘Why are we having this conversation with you down there and me up here? I’ll buzz you up.’

  I knew it would only take her a couple of minutes, if that, but I paced up and down the hallway, wringing my hands and bursting into spontaneous laughter. This was surreal, a nice surreal, a bloody amazing surreal. She had never been to my flat before, never able to leave the kids, but she was making her way to my flat. My space.

  I’d already opened the front door before the lift arrived. The lift burst open and revealed her to me. She was wearing a black leather jacket with a skirt covered in red flowers, poppies maybe; I don’t know. Her legs looked amazing. I couldn’t tear my eyes away to make a full assessment. Her blonde hair was curly and swept to the side. How this woman had no confidence in her body I would never know. She walked into my arms because somehow I’d opened them up to her. I had brain fog trying to understand how I was hugging this tiny bundle of gorgeousness while I was wearing nothing but pyjama bottoms and was naked from the waist up.

  ‘Do you greet all your guests naked?’ she asked.

  ‘Only the good ones.’ She giggled and the noise rumbled through me.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re at my place,’ I said, ushering her through to the living room under my arm and trying to tidy up at the same time. She laughed as I kicked my shoes underneath the table in the hallway where I kept my keys and shin pads. She smiled as I picked up T-shirts that should have seen the washing machine three weeks ago but had been left draped over the couch.

  ‘You’re not much of a tidier,’ she said, shifting from foot to foot with her hands behind her back. I didn’t want a shred of awkwardness to pass through us, so I went over and scooped her up and lost all sense when she wrapped her legs around me and folded herself against my chest.

  ‘If you had told me you were coming, I would have made more of an effort.’ All that was separating us was my huge erection that couldn’t be missed. Gem wiggled herself against it and I didn’t need any further clues as to what she wanted and where she wanted me to take her. My eyes caught us in the mirror next to the kitchen. Her legs wrapped around me encouraged her skirt to sit around her waist. I turned us fully so that I could see the black lace of her underwear sculpted perfectly across her glorious arse. I couldn’t help myself. I traced my finger underneath, lifting the lace and causing a gasp from Gem so light I could have missed it. But I didn’t miss anything from her.

  ‘Have you been thinking about me? Thinking about this?’ I asked as my finger continued its trail. A deep sigh was the only response I needed. I could feel a damp spot on the scrap of fabric and knew she was ready for me, probably had been since our weekend away. My finger curled to her clit, causing her hips to jerk, and as she tried to steady her breathing, I felt her hand grip my neck. ‘Do you know how much I adore you?’ She smiled shyly. ‘How I think about you every second of my day?’

  ‘Same,’ she breezed out, unable to catch her breath as I circled her clit. ‘Every second. Every day. Take me to…take me…’

  I held her in place, my hands on her lower back, her arse resting on my forearms. I carried her to my bedroom. Lowering her down onto the bed, she laughed as I pulled tops and trousers from underneath her, kicking them under the bed to hide them. I wasn’t living in a filth hole, not by any stretch of the imagination, but things could have been tidier and I didn’t want to admit that out loud. ‘Oh my God,’ she said, her hands covering her smiling mouth. ‘What the bloody hell?’ I followed her eyes to the shelf at the side of my bed. I couldn’t think what had caused her reaction when I looked at the bottles of aftershave and a couple of watches. The penny dropped when I saw what she was referring to. The doll that she had given me as part of our challenge at the car boot sale was sitting in between the bottles. It was a pretty gruesome sight, the bottles of aftershave enlarging the faded pen marks and missing arm. ‘You kept it!’ She laughed. ‘In your bloody bedroom!’

  I brushed my lips against hers and fell into her laughter. ‘Of course I kept it. It makes me smile when I wake up.’

  ‘It reminds you of me?’ She asked, raising her eyebrow.

  ‘Reminds me of our date,’ I replied. ‘Didn’t you keep mine?’

  ‘It’s on the windowsill in the kitchen. I stare at it every time I do the washing up.’

  ‘Romance at it’s finest,’ I replied, shaking my head. ‘When was the last time anyone washed your pots for you or did something simple like make you a cup of tea?’

  ‘I don’t mind—’

  ‘When?’ I asked, cutting off her protest.

  ‘The girls do sometimes.’

  ‘I’m going to make you breakfast in bed in the morning. I’m going to run you a bath and bring you tea,’ I said, pulling up her shirt and kissing her stomach softly. ‘And then I’m going to lick this sweet spot here.’ My tongue flicked against her clit. ‘Until you fall apart.’ She hissed as she dug her fingers into my hair and, fuck, that was a magic spot for me.

  Sounds good is what I thought she said, but the words were squashed through a moan. I didn’t know it was possible for a guy to come too when giving oral sex and not on the receiving end, but my theory was about to be tested. ‘Then I’ll make you come so hard, so fast, because I can’t get enough of you. And afterwards, I’ll sing “Happy fucking Birthday”.’

  She covered her face with her hands as she started to laugh. ‘Birthday sex is the best.’

  ‘Birthday sex you’ll get. Every day,’ I said, stripping her bare and sitting back on my knees as I took her in, inch by beautiful inch. My girl who shielded herself from me was now lying back, her arms above her head, lifting her breasts and biting her lip.

  Completely free.

  I stood and pushed my bottoms down, feeling the heavy thud of my cock against my stomach. And then…fuck. She parted her legs, slowly exposing herself to me, making herself vulnerable but proving her need, her slick folds teasing me, enticing me towards her. I knelt on the bed and put on a condom before steadying myself by holding my palms against her knees, spreading her wider and more open to me. She held her thumb in her mouth, turning her head to the side and biting down as I started to rub my cock through her creases. Her hands found themselves on my stomach, skimming the definition of my muscles. I braced myself above her, and in one smooth thrust, she was gripping me and I was fighting the overwhelming tightness of being inside her again.

  ‘Ah,’ she gasped. ‘You feel better than I remembered.’

  ‘So do you, and I didn’t think that was possible.
’ I pushed in and pulled out, slowly at first but soon gathering speed. She met my hips and matched the tempo. Watching her beneath me, her eyes closed as pleasure swept through her, her mouth open to allow the shallow pants and hard gasps to escape through, I knew I was teetering on the edge. This wasn’t hard and fast like our first time had been. This wasn’t a race to get to the finish before I’d even begun. This was graceful and gradual, thoughtful and courteous. My brain emptied itself of thoughts unrelated to Gem and making this feel good for her. I let our bodies take over until we were entering our own private world.

  ‘I can’t stay quiet,’ she moaned. ‘I’ve never felt like this.’

  ‘Then don’t. Let me fuck your moans out, Gem. I need to hear you.’ Her lip came out from under her teeth and her face relaxed like I’d given her permission to be herself. Completely herself. I pulled her hips towards me, changing the angle before pushing her knee up. Her moans got deeper, more rasping and thick. As I increased the pace of my thrusts, she clung to me, her nails digging into my arms, gripping me as her orgasm burst through.

  I fell across her, kissing her neck, biting her collarbone until she caught herself again. As she opened her eyes and smiled back, I tilted her hips and climbed to my knees, pulling her legs around me. I loved it when she clung to me, her hands gripping and flexing as she tried to steady herself, grounding her. I drove harder, deeper and with more force. I could tell she was there again ready to erupt. ‘You’re going to make me come again. I’m almost—’

  And with those words, I was ready to crack. I lifted her hand and placed her fingers against her clit. Wanting to watch her touch herself as I thrust inside her was my only thought process. Her tiny fingers against that big bud of nerves were enough to make me lose it, but she had to come again, before me. No fucking option. ‘I could watch you do that all day,’ I said between my bursts. ‘You look fucking spectacular. Keep going. I need to watch you and you need to come.’