A Painted Smile

by B. M. Hardin

  I would say that I wanted my husband to be just like him but that would be a lie. More than money, humor and anything else in this world, I wanted my husband to be present.

  “Gal, you better speak up. Don’t you know better to sneak up on people, especially a man holding a lug wrench?” Daddy laughed.

  I laughed at him as he handed me my car keys.

  “Thank you Daddy,” I said, kissing his cheek.

  “Who did this?”

  “Some guy who had a problem with being told no,” I answered him honestly.

  “Are you going to be safe? You can always come back home you know.”

  “Yes, I know. If it was up to you, I would live with you guys forever. I’ll be fine. The restraining order in my purse tells me that if he comes back…shoot him,” I laughed.

  No, of course it didn’t say that. Not technically. But let’s just say that if he came back he would surely be sorry.

  Daddy’s face expression told me that he approved.

  He chatted for a while longer and then told me that he had to get home to Mama. He said that they were getting together with a few of their friends from the church and that if he wasn’t on time, he would never hear the end of it.

  Kissing him goodbye, I headed inside to get cleaned up. I had yet another date and hopefully things wouldn’t go half as bad as the night before.

  I’d promised to go on a double date with one of my good friends, Zara, and if I canceled, again, I was sure that she was going to cancel her friendship membership.

  Zara and I were good friends, naturally so since I had been engaged to her younger brother. But even though Simon and I didn’t last, I remained friends with him and his sister.

  The friendship that Zara and I shared was much like the one that was in between Simon and I. It was irreplaceable. It was unique.

  Zara had been there for me no matter what I was going through. She was genuinely sweet and very dependable. She was just one of those people that you knew that if you let her go, you would never find or meet anyone else quite like her.

  Zara was trying to get back into the dating game, since the death of her husband.

  One day, she’d forced him to stop by the store on his way home from work, although he’d told her that he was tired and that would go later on that evening. But Zara insisted, and her late husband walked in on a robbery. At the sight of him, the robbers panicked and shot him and the store owner multiple times.

  She never forgave herself and after two years and hundreds of hours of therapy, she was now ready to give love another try.

  And if she was bold enough to give it a go, I surely had no excuse.

  I showered briefly and sat on my bed to relax for just a second.

  For some reason, I began to think about my very first date which was way back in my high school days.

  High school for me was a pain in my ass!

  Naturally being a smarty-pants, I didn’t exactly fit in as well as I would have wanted to and not nearly as well as I’d hoped.

  I wasn’t a nerd or anything, nor was my appearance anything less than up to date with the other kids, but to save my life, I couldn’t keep my nose out of my books. And then here comes Darius.

  Darius was just as smart as I was, but he still seemed to fit in with the popular and cool kids. They liked him and so did I.

  So, of course when he took interest in me, I was more than surprised.

  I remembered as though it had only happened yesterday. We were both seventeen and though Mama, at the time, was very over protective, somehow I convinced her to let me go on my first date.

  Darius’s brother and his girlfriend were coming along to chaperon so I guess she assumed that I would be safe, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.

  After pizza and a movie, we dropped off Darius first. For the most part, with him, my first date had been perfect. He’d wanted to ride along to drop me off at home, but his brother stated that he would be staying at his girlfriend’s house and didn’t want the hassle of back-tracking.

  With little fuss, Darius and I shared my first kiss, and at the time, I thought that it was the best night of my life.

  But strangely, Darius’s brothers’ next stop wasn’t my house, but it was his girlfriend’s house instead.

  She questioned his actions but he’d given her some excuse about just remembering that he wouldn’t be able to stay over.

  My gut told me that something was wrong.

  I was barely a block from my house and my mind told me to get out of the car and walk the rest of the way, but I hadn’t listened.

  When we rode by my house I knew that I was in trouble.

  And I was right.

  Sadly, that night, Darius’s brother took from me what I had been told my whole life to give to someone special. In the backseat of his car, in the deep end of some wooded area my screams went unheard.

  I didn’t remember much. I blacked out after a while and when I came to, I was riding in his car heading home for real this time.

  As I got out of the car I heard him threaten me and swear that he would say that I wanted it if I told anyone but I’d already made up my mind that I wouldn’t. I couldn’t bare the whispers or even the dirty stares from my peers at school who already hated me enough.

  So, I didn’t tell a soul.

  Instead that night, before I went in, I tried my best to pull myself together and I pitched my parents the perfect first date story that I could come up with. I figured that it was much easier to deny that it had ever happened and for years I’d actually forgotten that it did.

  I shook my head and glanced at the clock.

  I was always running late…

  “Are you sure that we’re at the right place?” I asked her. I checked the time on my cell phone again.

  We’d been waiting at the restaurant for over thirty minutes and our blind dates were still nowhere in sight. I could see how nervous and disappointed Zara was, so I kept my complaining to a minimum.

  “Maybe we should just go,” she said finally.

  “Well, that would be a bummer, since we just got here. Sorry we’re late. Something came up on Pete’s end, so I brought Jasper instead. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Okay, so this had to be fate or maybe it was a sign.

  It was definitely something.

  This was my third encounter with the quiet policeman in less than twenty-four hours, and I was starting to think that I’d gotten the restraining order on the wrong person.

  “Are you stalking me?”

  “I was just about to ask you the same thing,” I answered his question.

  “I’m Jasper.”

  “So I’ve heard. And as you know, I’m Storm.”

  We shook hands and he took his seat beside of me. The scent of his skin harassed my nose.

  It was strong, masculine, yet it had my taste buds doing something unfamiliar. To be honest, I wanted to lick him, but since that was a tad bit inappropriate, I forced myself to consistently smile instead.

  Closer to him than I had been on our other two encounters, I was able to really, really look at him.

  For some reason he wasn’t as attractive as he had been the night before. Maybe it was the uniform, or maybe it was because I could now clearly see every feature of his face but whatever it was, he was still handsome, just not mouth-watering gorgeous as he had been before.

  I guess he was more sexy than attractive. More enticing than he was good-looking. It was just something about him that made you want to jump his bones.

  Jasper was a big, stocky type of man.

  He was well-dressed and neat. His skin was clear. Not a pimple or even a scar in sight. He was a light brown complexion but not exactly light-skinned. What little facial hair he possessed was neatly groomed and he had a low, fresh fade.

  His eyes were bold, daring and brown and his lips, now, they were the best part of his face. They were big, succulent and they taunted me as he spoke.

  I was surprised as to
how much Jasper spoke as the night went on. Jasper talked and talked, and then talked some more, which I found interesting since he seemed to be a man of few words the other two times that I was in his presence.

  Most of the things that he’d said were rather interesting. But I’d only heard half of them. The other half of the time I had been entertaining the impure thoughts that I was having about him.

  The sexual attraction that I had for him was real.

  “So, what do you do in your spare time?” Jasper asked.

  I would love to be doing you, I thought.

  But since I couldn’t say what I wanted to say, I answered the question to the best of my ability.

  “I have a few hobbies, but my favorite is to paint. It’s just something about it. It relaxes me. It takes me far away from here and all of the frustrations of this world. Furthermore, it’s something that my childhood friend and I used to share…before she died.” I answered him truthfully.

  Being an only child, and since there weren’t many kids, school wise who wanted to be my friend, I found myself befriending any and every one who even looked like they wanted to be friends with me.

  But I only had two real friends back then I would say and only one of them stayed around until my college years---Monique Davis.

  Monique and I were nothing alike.

  There weren’t any of the peas in the pod bull crap that you hear others say about their best friends.

  We weren’t the least bit the same. But she was loyal and she was always there for me when I needed her. She would defend me if I needed her to, and she was always there if I needed to talk, or just for someone to listen.

  There were so many things about Monique that I loved, but the one thing that I hated the most about her was her dying need to always win.

  And it wasn’t just with me; it was with everything and with everybody.

  Eventually that was what killed her.

  Freshman year in college, we both wanted to date the star quarterback of our college football team, Franky P.

  I’d saw him first.

  I’d changed my quiet, in a shell, ways since high school, and I’d managed to make myself more appealing to those around me, yet still be exceptional with my studies.

  I’d started tutoring Franky P and after sometime, we developed some sort of liking for one another. Though we’d never crossed the line, I’d expressed to Monique that we were quite fond of each other but Monique just had to have him.

  She always had to have everything.

  Of course, in the end, Monique was the one who got the guy, but she’d also gotten more than she’d bargained for.

  As it was told, she and Franky P had a big disagreement one night. Alcohol and drugs played a factor of course and somewhere, somehow, things took a turn for the worst.

  Franky P ended up choking Monique to death.

  She was gone just like that and so was Franky P. Knowing that his future of being a professional football player was out the window, and I assume knowing that he didn’t have the heart to survive in prison, when the cops got to him, he was dead from what was ruled a drug overdose.

  After Monique died, soon after I met Simon, and he somewhat took her place.

  He was who I confided in. Simon became my best friend. He and I eventually started doing a lot of things that Monique and I had done together, especially paint, which is what he was doing at my house the other night.

  I’d always wanted a naked picture of my body and since Simon had learned to paint even better than I did, I didn’t have a choice but to ask him to do it.

  Showing my goods to him although he was now married may have been crossing the line, but it was innocent. I wouldn’t dare do anything to jeopardize his marriage or our friendship. But as for Simon, well, I couldn’t exactly speak for him.

  Shaking the thoughts of Monique and Simon from my head, I smiled at Jasper as if I had the slightest clue as to what he was talking about.

  The rest of the night we talked and laughed and I felt as though I’d known him for years. He was so open and honest with me, which was definitely different.

  Daddy always said that a man’s complete honesty is so rare and that a man only gives it to the woman that he truly loved or the one that he truly believed could handle it. He’d said that honesty was something that everyone wanted, but not everyone was strong enough to give in return.

  If a man gives you his honesty, he’ll give you his loyalty. And if he’ll give you his loyalty, well, what else does a woman really need?

  Considering that my parents had made it to almost thirty years of marriage, Daddy must have known what he was talking about and I always considered his words and guidance when it came to exploring new relationships.

  Zara and her date seemed to be getting along just fine, so we excused ourselves and took our conversation outside.

  It was early fall, and unexpectedly dry after such a big storm just days before.

  “So, why are you single?”

  “I just am. I have been for a while though. I left my fiancé at the altar, more or less. I was engaged not too long ago but I called it off because I knew that though we loved each other, love just wasn’t enough. And eventually, just love wouldn’t be enough to keep us together. He’s married now and we’re still good friends. What about you?”

  “I just haven’t found that special lady; the one that I’ve waited my whole life for. I guess I want what my folks had,” he said.

  “Had?”

  “Yes, my father passed away from prostate cancer and a few months later, my mother passed away too. The doctors said that she was as healthy as an ox and that most likely she’d died from a broken heart. My parents had been married for forty years.”

  “Mine are almost at their thirtieth,” I shared with him, and he smiled.

  I couldn’t imagine losing either of my parents and even though I knew that they couldn’t live forever, living without them seemed impossible.

  “So, now you’re looking for that special lady huh?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I was once told that when a man says maybe it was an easy response. Either he’s unsure of himself, or unsure of how the person that he’s talking to will receive his real answer.”

  “Hmm, someone likes to play with words I see,” Jasper chuckled.

  I didn’t respond.

  I’d gotten the wordy trait from Daddy.

  He always had an answer or a theory for everything.

  “Yes. Yes I’m looking for that special lady,” Jasper said and grabbed my hand.

  I smiled as we continued to walk down the street.

  Could this was the beginning of something special?

  I guess it was my turn to say…

  Maybe.

  **********

  ~You can’t hurry love…and most of the time, it’s worth the wait. True love will sometimes catch you by surprise, be willing to receive it with open arms~

  ~Anonymous

  Chapter Two

  “What’s this glow all about?” Mama asked suspiciously.

  I glanced at my reflection in the mirror behind my bedroom door.

  Was I glowing?

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about ma’am,” I giggled and headed for the kitchen.

  “Who is he? What’s his name?”

  I eyed her innocently, as if she wasn’t on the right track. Mama folded her arms over her chest and waited patiently for my response.

  “His name is Jasper.”

  “Jasper? And what is it about this Jasper that has you beaming like a ray of sunshine? Is he a potential husband? And why haven’t I met him yet?” Mama quizzed.

  “Ma, it’s only been about a month and we are still in the getting to know each other stage.”

  “Well darling, it seems as though you’re already in the I think I’m in love stage. Tell me that I am wrong,” she said.

  I didn’t respond.

  Jasper and I were definitely hitting it off.

>   We’d talked every day for the last month and I was really starting to like him.

  Who was I fooling…I was way past like but I was trying to play it cool.

  We’d only physically seen each other a few other times since our blind date night but he was the first voice I heard every morning when I opened my eyes and the last one I spoke to every night before I went to sleep.

  I found myself confiding in him, more than I ever had with any other man. Which was weird since that was what I’d always said about Simon, but with Jasper it was different. I couldn’t quite explain it and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to.

  Nevertheless, it seemed as though Jasper was taking or at least borrowing, Simon’s place and we were becoming the best of friends.

  I was waiting for him to change, or to mess up but to date he had been nothing less than perfect.

  Jasper was cool, calm and different from any other man that I’d ever dated. We talked about everything, anything and talking to him was so easy. I always felt at ease when I was around him and I knew that he felt the same when he was with me.

  He laughed at all of my jokes and he didn’t seem to be scared of a woman like me. I’ll admit, I was very strong-minded and maybe even a little overly opinionated than most women, but Jasper wasn’t afraid of me. In his words, he adored me.

  And it definitely showed.

  So far, we hadn’t crossed the sex-line but I got the feeling that he wasn’t in a rush, and neither was I. I was enjoying our intimacy without being intimate.

  After Mama asked a thousand and one questions about Jasper, potential marriage and my ovaries, finally she was out of my hair and I headed out to do some errands.

  It was a Saturday and winter was slowly but surely making her presence known.

  Winter was actually my favorite time of the year. When I was younger it was because it was the only time that Daddy seemed to take a few days off from work here and there and as I got older, I just discovered that I’d rather be cold, than hot. Not to mention the fact that folks seemed to be in a much better mood during this season.