The Dreamer

by Joy Redmond

  Mama and Papa Deer trotted to Boy Deer’s side.

  Mama Deer said, “Great-Grand Deer almighty!”

  Papa Deer beamed and smiled. “Boy Deer, your hooves are perfect. All the doe will be fighting for your attention.”

  Boy Deer acted embarrassed as he placed his right hoof over his eyes and said, “Ah, Papa, be quiet.”

  I smiled and said, “If you can stay for awhile, I’ll get Nana to fix you some people food. What would you like?”

  “Well, since you asked, I’d like to have some of Pawpaw’s giggle juice,” Papa Deer stated, his eyes large with excitement.

  “Papa Deer, I’ve already told you, you can only have eggnog on Christmas Day.” I gave him a finger wag. “I bet you’d like a root beer float. I’ll get Nana to fix all of you one. They’re tongue-lapping good.”

  “I want a grilled cheese sandwich with my root beer float,” Boy Deer said. “I don’t know what it is, but if you think I’ll like it, I’ll give it a try.”

  “So will we,” said Mama Deer, walking over and nuzzling my arm. “We don’t know what it is either, but thank you anyway.”

  “It’s a bowl of vanilla ice cream with a bottle of root beer poured over it. It fizzes a little and I get it into my mouth quickly so I can tickle my tongue with the small bubbles,” I said as I turned and headed for the trailer.

  Nana was in the kitchen and I hugged her and said, “Nana, the Deer family wants grilled cheese sandwiches and root beer floats. Would you fix it for them, please? And I’ll have the same if it’s not too much trouble. I’m hungry now that it’s all over with and we’re all so happy. Just wait until you see the gleam in Mama and Papa Deer’s eyes.”

  “I’m so happy for them. And happy for you,” Nana said, hugging me tightly. “And fixing a meal for my people family and my deer family makes me happy. I’ll heat up the skillet, then we’ll celebrate Boy Deer’s new hooves.”

  I stuck Nana’s digital camera into my coat pocket and pulled three big bowls down from the cupboard. Then I grabbed a box of ice cream from the freezer, lifted three bottles of root beer from the refrigerator, and placed them into a plastic bag.

  When Nana had the grilled cheese sandwiches ready, we took everything out to the barn.

  Mama, Papa and Boy Deer ate the sandwiches in two bites.

  Nana scooped ice cream into the three bowls.

  I poured the root beer.

  Mama, Papa and Boy Deer laughed as if the fizzing was the funniest thing they’d ever seen.

  “Dig in,” I yelled.

  When they were finished with the root beer floats, they all had white circles around their noses and lips and ice cream running down their necks.

  “Smile,” I said, snapping the camera. “I want to remember this celebration! It’s one of the happiest moments of my life!”

  “Mine, too,” Boy Deer agreed.

  “I think we’re all pretty happy, Julia,” Nana said, and Mama and Papa Deer nodded in agreement.

  “Well, it’s been a long day,” I said. “I’m off to bed. See you tomorrow.”

  Boy Deer grinned and said, “Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

  “Don’t let the straw-bedbugs bite,” I replied as I took Nana’s hand and walked out of the barn.

  I looked up at the star lit sky. “Thank you, God,” I whispered.

  MAN DEER

  I heard a thumping on the bedroom window. I glanced at the clock. It was only five o’clock in the morning and the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. I rolled out of bed, rubbing sleep from my eyes, and pulled back the drapes to find Boy Deer with his nose pressed against the windowpane, his smile bigger than a slice of watermelon.

  “Go to the back door and I’ll let you in,” I said sleepily. I slipped on my housecoat and house shoes, staggered down the hallway barely able to hold my eyes open. I opened the back door and Boy Deer bounded the steps into the utility room and then trotted into the kitchen.

  Pawpaw was already sitting at the table, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.

  “Hi, Pawpaw,” Boy Deer said, sitting on his haunches beside the table.

  Pawpaw looked down and said, “Well, looks like you’re an early riser, too. Do you want some coffee?”

  “I’ll try some coffee, thank you,” Boy Deer replied.

  As Pawpaw got up to pour another cup of coffee, Boy Deer held up his hooves and said, “Look, goofy hooves done gone.”

  “You ain’t just whistling Dixie,” Pawpaw said as he set a cup of coffee on the floor in front of Boy Deer.

  Boy Deer stuck his tongue into the cup and lapped it dry.

  Nana walked into the kitchen, yawning as she said, “Lordy, there’s no way to get any sleep in this house. Boy Deer, can’t you give an old woman time to get her beauty sleep?”

  Pawpaw chuckled and said, “Old girl, I think that ship has already sailed.”

  “Yeah,” replied Nana as she kissed him on the forehead. “My beauty ship sailed about the time your big belly popped out.” Then she looked at Boy Deer and me and said, “I’ll get breakfast going. I think I know what you two want. Pancakes. Right?”

  Boy Deer smiled and said, “I just can’t stop looking at my perfect hooves. Mama and Papa are so happy they don’t know what to do. I think they need some of your smelling salts, Nana.” Then he laughed that wonderful laugh I loved so much.

  We all laughed. Boy Deer was becoming a regular comedian.

  After breakfast, Boy Deer and I went outside and walked together until I was exhausted. “I need a break,” I said. “And I think you’ve walked long enough for one morning.”

  We went into the barn and I turned on the radio. Taylor Swift was singing, so I started dancing. Boy Deer watched my feet for a few seconds, then he tried to imitate my steps, and we laughed as if we were two children on a playground.

  After lunch, we walked around the barn until Mama came for me just before dark. She was anxious to see Boy Deer’s new hooves, and Boy Deer proudly held them up for her to see.

  “Look, Mama Michelle. I’m all fixed,” he said, his eyes sparkling. “I can run like the other deer. Well, I can actually do that for two weeks, but once I get started, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

  Mama hugged him, dodging the antlers, and said, “You’re one handsome Boy Deer. You do want us to call you Boy Deer from now on, right?”

  “That’s right,” he replied, but I guess Julia will always call me Baby Deer, but that’s okay. She knows who I really am.”

  “And don’t forget to tell Mama what you call me.”

  “Right. She’s Miss Julia, because she’s older and I want to show her the respect she deserves. But we agreed that I would only call her that when we are alone.”

  “I think that’s polite of you, young man. And I’ll let you two call each other whatever you want when you are alone. But I’m wondering—will we ever have to call you Mister Deer?” Mama asked with a laugh.

  “Oh, no, never Mister Deer. But before long I’ll be Man Deer,” he proudly said.

  “Gee whillikers!” I said with a heavy sigh. “I’ll never get used to all your name changes. I wish you’d pick one and stick to it.”

  “Now, Miss Julia, Nana has already explained all that to you,” he said.

  “Yeah, I know,” I replied, throwing my hands in the air. “But as you said, I don’t have to like it.”

  Mama tickled me in the ribs and said, “Miss Julia, it’s time to say goodbye to Boy Deer. We need to get on home.”

  I gave him a big hug, and he licked my hands as I said, “See you next Saturday.” Then I remembered my plans. “No I won’t be here next Saturday. I’ll see you Saturday after next because this coming Saturday, I’m going to a birthday party at the skating rink, and it’ll be too late for me to come when the party is over.”

  “Do you mean I won’t see you for two more Saturdays?” he asked sadly.

  “Well, I bet Mama and Papa Deer will come and spend the day with you
,” I said, hoping to cheer him up.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll practice my walking, and the next Saturday I’ll be able to run! I’ll run like the dickens!”

  Then next two weeks seemed like an eternity, but the skating party was fun. Finally it was time to go visit Boy Deer.

  Mama pulled into the driveway.

  Nana was standing in the backyard, looking around the old farm place as if she were expecting to see cattle on a stampede.

  I jumped from the car and excitedly asked, “Where is Boy Deer?”

  Nana tucked her head, rubbed the back of her neck and said, “Honey, yesterday his two weeks were up and I told him he could run, so he took off like a blue streak and I haven’t seen him since.”

  My head began to swim and I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. “You mean he didn’t come back? He knew I was coming this Saturday.”

  “I know honey. He was cooped up for so long, you really can’t blame him for wanting to get out and run. After all, he’s a deer,” Nana answered.

  I stomped into the house, kicked off my shoes, propped myself sullenly in the corner of the sofa and turned on the TV, hoping I hadn’t missed too much of iCarly.

  A few minutes later, I jumped when I heard a loud pounding on the front door.I ran to the door and flung it open. Boy Deer was standing on the front porch, smiling.

  Then months begin to roll by as if someone were flipping calendar pages.

  That Saturday morning turned into the middle of April, and Boy Deer was knocking on the front door again.

  By May, he was as big as Papa Deer, though his antlers weren’t nearly as big. He informed me that he was to be called Man Deer from then on. He was a little over a year old.

  At the end of May, he came for a visit on Saturday as he usually did. He wanted to visit the barn and see the stall where he had spent so much of his early days. We sat on the straw piles, talked and laughed about all the things we’d done together while he was healing. His laughter was deep and masculine.

  “I’ll carry the memory of all the things we said and did for the rest of my life,” I told him, stroking his muscular neck. “The past year has been a love story no other girl in the world can tell.”

  “I’ll never forget my young days I spent with you, Julia. And they’ll be my happiest memories, too,” he said.

  We strolled around the barn and I pointed to where the Christmas tree stood, and to where the Deer family stood as I introduced them to Nana’s family.

  “I remember it all,” said Man Deer. Then he laughed as he stood in the middle of the stall. “If memory serves me correctly, this is where I got so excited that I made a puddle.”

  I laughed and said, “You’re standing on the right spot. And believe me I’ll never forget that moment!”

  “Do you think we can have another barn Christmas this year? Mama and Papa would come, and I know Papa would love to have some more giggle juice. He talks about it all the time, and this Christmas I can have some, too, since I’m a man now.”

  “Of course we can have another barn Christmas,” I said. “In fact, the whole family said it was the greatest Christmas of their lives.

  Man Deer suddenly lifted his head and sniffed the air. Then he trotted to the back of the barn and sniffed again. A moment later, he ran outside and lifter his head higher, sniffing air quickly and carefully.

  “What is it?” I asked. “Can’t you get your breath?”

  “Can’t you smell it?” he asked, turning his head right and left.

  “I don’t smell anything,” I said.

  “There’s a doe waiting for me,” he said, sniffing harder and shifting his head back and forth. “She’s in the woods, just across the pasture. It’s a long way from here, but I’ll find her.”

  “Have you gone crazy?” I said. “How can you smell a doe that far away? You’re being silly!”

  “Bucks can smell doe from miles away,” Man Deer said. “I have to find her first.”

  “What do you mean, find her first? Do you mean before a hunter finds her? I don’t think hunters are in the woods this time of year,” I said.

  “Not hunters, silly,” Man Deer said, giving me a sideways glance. “I have to find her before another buck finds her. I have to go now. I’ll see you later.”

  Before I could reply, Man Deer was running across the barnyard and headed for the dirt lane that would take him across the bridge and into the large pasture.

  “Wait! Wait!” I yelled, but he didn’t pay any attention .When he was out of sight I grumbled, “Just like a hard-headed man.”

  I stomped the ground, then headed back inside the barn where I kicked an old milk bucket, and then stomped all the way to the trailer.

  Pawpaw was feeding Cinnamon and Sugar, who were jumping around like Mexican jumping beans. I tried to pet them but they jumped up and scratched me with their claws.

  “Stupid dogs!” I wailed. “I don’t have anything to pet anymore. I hate it! I hate it!”

  “Sweet Pea what’s wrong with you? I’ll calm the dogs down so you can pet them,” Pawpaw said.

  “I don’t want to pet them. I don’t want to pet anything ever again,” I said, sitting on the steps and hiding my face in my lap. “I want Baby Deer, but he doesn’t want me anymore. Life stinks! Nature stinks! The whole world stinks!”

  Nana poked her head out of the back door and said, “What’s got your dander up? Lordy, I could hear you all the way in the living room.”

  “Nothing!” I said, waving my arm, wanting Nana and everybody in the world to leave me alone.

  Nana sat beside me and put her arm around me. “Come on, honey. You can tell Nana,” she said.

  I buried my head on her shoulder and cried even harder.

  As she gently rocked us back and forth, Nana softly said, “I know your heart hurts, sweetheart, but Baby Deer is grown now. And he’s an animal and he’s going to do what animals are supposed to do—and part of what animals do is look for mates.”

  “I know,” I said between sobs. “It’s another one of those “nature’s way” things, but that doesn’t’ mean I have to like it, and I’ll never understand it.”

  Nana wiped my tears and said, “I know it’s hard to understand, but someday you will. The day you do will be a sad day for me, just like today is a sad day for you. There’ll be a day when boys will come calling for you and though I won’t like it, it’ll be nature’s way.” There was a long silence, and then Nana said, “Come on in the house. We’ll make chocolate chip cookies.”

  I wiped the tears from my eyes and said, “That’s a good idea! Since Baby Deer has such a good smeller, maybe he’ll smell the cookies and come running. You know how much he likes chocolate.”

  “We’ll see,” Nana said, helping me up.

  After we finished baking, I set a plate of cookies on the carport and waited for Baby Deer to come, but he didn’t, and I felt as if my heart would break in two.

  “Baby Deer is gone forever,” I whispered to the gathering darkness.

  ***

  I woke up with tears streaming down my face, and for a long moment, I held my head in my hands, whimpering, “This can’t be how it ends. It just can’t end this way.”

  “Julia, your mama is here. Drag yourself out of bed,” Nana yelled from the kitchen.

  I willed myself to get out of bed and amble down the hall. Then I sat numbly on the sofa as Mama and Nana talked. Nothing seemed real. My mind refused to focus and I couldn’t seem to make out what they were saying. I looked at Nana and wished she could wave her hand over my head, put me into a deep sleep, and the dream would have a happy ending.

  Suddenly, I was aware that Mama had asked me what was wrong.

  I collected myself the best I could, then said between sobs. “I’ve been having the most wonderful, beautiful and real dream I’ve ever had. I know it sounds crazy, but it was so real, I feel as if my heart is completely broken because I lost Baby Deer and his family.”

  Mama put her
arm around my shoulders. “Dreams never quite make sense, do they? I’m sorry you’re hurting, but we need to get home.”

  Moving like a robot, I kissed Nana bye and mumbled, “I’ll see you next Saturday.”

  Mama tried to make conversation on the drive home, but I had nothing to say. “It was just a dream, honey,” she said, trying to cheer me up.

  “It was only a dream to you, but it was real to me and it always will be,” I said, fresh tears rolling down my face.

  When I got home, I tried to read and take my mind off the dream, but every night for the next week, I begged, prayed, and tried to will myself back to dreamland where Baby Deer was.

  It didn’t work.

  Saturday morning, Mama took me to Nana’s. She said I could spend the night there, since being at Nana’s was the only place that seemed to make me happy. It also seemed to be the only place I was able to dream about the Deer family.

  Nana and I played games, sang songs, and then I helped cook supper and clean up the kitchen. Pawpaw went to bed by eight o’clock and Nana went to visit a sick friend.

  I watched TV for a while, but I got bored, so I headed for bed, too. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I felt a warm glow flow through me, and I soon felt myself drifting into dreamland.

  ***

  I could feel the dirt crunching under my feet as I walked the dirt lane and crossed the little bridge that Pawpaw had built.

  Then I stood at the edge of the pasture and yelled,” Baby Deer! Boy Deer!Man Deer! It’s me, Julia! Where are you?”

  I yelled until I was hoarse, but there was no answer.

  I turned and walked back to the house, wiping my tears with the back of my hand and wiped my runny nose on my shirttail.

  “I don’t understand. How can he forget me? We were supposed to be BFF’s forever.” I kicked loose dirt. “He doesn’t know what best friends forever means,” I grumbled. “He’s just a stupid deer.”

  I reached the trailer and went inside, poured my heart out while Nana stroked my hair. The she said, “Julia, Baby Deer is all grown up now. He has to follow his own path. I know it doesn’t make sense to you now, but someday it will.”