Her Uniform Cowboy (Harland County Series Book 3)

by Donna Michaels

He sat back and blinked for a full minute. Sixty seconds of absolute confusion and a jumble of emotions. The man he killed…did not leave a child behind? The soldier who’d died, his mind corrected—another breakthrough to tell the doc.

  The soldier who’d died did not leave a child behind.

  “He wasn’t?”

  “No.” Her red waves rippled as she shook her head. “Bobby and I were friends. We’d been in a few foster homes together growing up. When I found myself in trouble, he told me he could get me healthcare if we pretended he was the father.”

  And that’s when things started to make sense. “The birth was covered, and once she was born, he had Amelia registered in DEERS as his daughter, and she was automatically covered.”

  “Yes.”

  “But when he died, coverage only lasted a year.”

  “Yes. I’m really sorry.” Tears filled her guilt-clouded eyes. She blinked them away and drew in a breath. “I had no idea you…I just didn’t realize how this all affected you. I’m sorry I was such an idiot. If I didn’t have to keep moving, then I would’ve found a steady job before now, gotten my daughter on my own healthcare plan and come clean about Bobby sooner.”

  He set his elbows on the arms of his chair and steepled his fingers. The dead soldier did not leave a daughter behind. Funny how that one thought made such a huge difference. That was what ate at his gut. That he’d taken away the baby’s father. He knew what that was like. It had happened to him, twice. First his actual father, when he’d died during the first Gulf War with the Marines. Then, a few years later, his uncle had died, the man who’d selflessly stepped in and up, taking in a cantankerous, hurt, miserable little boy and turned him into a man.

  “I’m sorry. You must really hate me,” Shayla said, chin tipped at a defiant angle, yet her eyes still held that apologetic expression.

  Kade shook his head. “No, I understand. You were worried about your daughter.”

  She nodded, blinking back a fresh sheen of tears. “Yes.”

  “It’s okay. I can’t fault you for caring about your child.” He wished to God his own mother had had that attitude.

  The woman smiled. “Brandi said you’d understand. I’m going to miss her.”

  “Miss her? Why? Are you leaving?” He rose to his feet and stared down at her. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea from what you told me about your father.”

  “Me? No.” She shook her head and stood. “Brandi. She’s gone back to Pennsylvania.”

  Brandi? His heart rocked so hard in his chest it felt as if someone had ripped it out from clear across town. “She left?”

  Without saying goodbye?

  Of course, idiot. After all, he’d told her, insisted she let him go. That she move on and forget about him. So why the fuck did it hurt so bad?

  Because he loved her and didn’t want her to move on. He wanted her to love him so much she would never leave. Would never abandon him. Just like his mother had done.

  His father.

  His uncle.

  His aunt.

  Christ.

  Just like he’d done to Brandi.

  He shouldn’t have given up on them. He should’ve tried to fight, held on while he sought help.

  “Yes, she left a few days ago.” Shayla headed for the door, then stopped and turned to face him. “I shouldn’t be saying this, but well, I feel bad about keeping you in the dark about Amelia so maybe I can make up for it with Brandi.”

  His pulse tripped. “What about Brandi?”

  “It wasn’t her brothers she went up there to see.”

  Her words sent a sharp pain through his chest. Sharper and more painful than any band or vise. He glanced down to see if the statement had drawn blood.

  Ripped open…

  Gutted...

  Jesus, she wasn’t going to go back to Ed? He couldn’t bear it if he’d sent her back into the arms of that asshole.

  “But I know she cared for you,” Shayla continued. “So, if you feel the same, maybe you can go get her and tell her. There might still be time.”

  With a firm nod, the woman left his office and him in a state somewhere between shock and panic. Blind fucking panic.

  Brandi was gone.

  He would no longer see her.

  What was she doing with her horse? Had she made some sort of arrangements with Brock? Maybe she hadn’t planned ahead. Maybe she left on the spur of the moment.

  Maybe he should start coming up with answers instead of adding more questions to the already huge pile.

  Maybe he needed to think about what he wanted…ah hell, who was he kidding. He knew what he wanted.

  Brandi.

  That was never a question. And he knew what she’d wanted. Him.

  Question was, did she still feel that way?

  Only one way to find out. But it was not something you did over the phone. He was a man of action, and this required action.

  Kade strode from his office to stand in front of Jordan’s desk, waiting impatiently until she got off her phone.

  “Yes.” She held up her index finger and nodded for him to wait. “We’ll see. I think so. Absolutely. Yes, tell Emma we’ll be there for dinner tomorrow. Maybe have the champagne on standby.”

  Champagne? What were they celebrating?

  “He’s right here, I’ll ask.” She moved the phone from her ear to her shoulder and smiled at him. “Cole’s mom wants to know if you’re coming for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.”

  He shook his head. “No, thank you. I have other plans.” Out of state plans.

  “He said no, but thank you. Okay. I’ll tell him. All right. See you then. Bye.” His deputy hung up the phone then rose to her feet. “She said if you change your mind, you and your family are always welcome to drop by.”

  He nodded. An open invitation that stood for decades. Some years he took them up on it, others he didn’t…this was an other.

  “Okay, boss.” She placed her hands on her hips and stared at him. “What did you need?”

  A little stab of guilt poked him. “I hate to do this to you, but I need you to cover down tomorrow.”

  A wide smile crossed her lips. Odd, he thought maybe she’d be upset.

  She stepped forward and grabbed his upper arms. “You’re going after her, aren’t you?”

  A helpless sound, similar to a snort left his throat. The woman knew everything. Jesus, Cole never stood a chance.

  “Yes. I need to beg her forgiveness.”

  “True, and bring her chocolate,” she said then pulled him into a hug. “I’m happy for you, Kade.”

  “Happy? Aren’t you jumping the gun there, Jordan? She hasn’t forgiven me yet.”

  “True, but she will. Brandi loves you.”

  He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. God, he hoped so. Hoped he hadn’t killed her feelings for him by being a bigger ass than Ed. “It’s time I find out.”

  Time he did a lot of things. Like take the therapist’s advice and worry about himself. Think about what he wanted. Put himself first.

  And what Kade wanted was no longer in Texas.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Thanksgiving morning was always a busy time in the Wyne household. Between turkey, and stuffing, and football games in the back yard with a bunch of Guard buddies, there was barely anytime to think. Exactly what Brandi needed.

  Lord, she needed to just not think.

  Coming back to the Poconos had been a good idea, but bittersweet.

  Sweet because she couldn’t imagine Thanksgiving anywhere else but with her family, in their big, old, rambling house full of activity, and laughter and love.

  Bitter because she missed Kade. Missed his big, old, rambling ranch full of activity, and laughter and love. Missed his warmth, his acceptance, praise, affection, his hard, hot, sexy body and the way they fit. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

  Would he ever realize it? Did he even know she was gone?

  Jordan, Kerri and Shayla told her to just go. Not to say goo
dbye. They’d take care of it. But, it’s not like it was forever. Her two weeks up north would probably go unnoticed by the guy. It wasn’t like their paths crossed much anymore.

  But, if he did know, did he miss her?

  She brushed away the tears burning her eyes, and bent to check on the turkey. Again.

  “You know, unless it’s re-grown feathers and learned how to fly, old Tom is still in there working on his tan.”

  A smile tugged her lips. “Hey, Ben.” She straightened and turned around expecting to see just her older brother, but found all four of her brothers standing inside the kitchen, arms folded across their chests. “Wow, game over already?”

  “Nah,” he said on the way to the fridge. “We just came in for a drink.”

  She shook her head, recognizing the concern in their eyes. “Bull. You came in to check on me. But I’m fine. Really, go ahead and play your game.”

  “The game can wait,” Mason unfolded his arms and drew near. “Scott and the guys can manage without us.”

  She hated that they were inside worrying about her when they should be outside playing football with their Guard buddies. “Go have fun. Really. I’m okay. I have Tom to keep me company.” She nodded toward the oven and even managed a smile.

  Ethan cocked his head. “Good try, sis.”

  Her youngest brother, Keiffer, grabbed her hand while Ben took the other and together they led her to the chair Ethan pulled out from the table. Oh boy. Lots of testosterone permeated in the air. She knew better than to balk at them when they worked as a collective. Best to go with the flow. Sitting down, she glanced up at a wall of concerned Wyne.

  “This is an intervention, Brandi,” Mason informed. “Talk to us.”

  Keiffer nodded. “Yes, what’s going on?”

  She hadn’t seen such stern faces since Mason’s fiancée had left him.

  Ben squatted in front of her and touched her knee. “What happened between you and Kade? Did he hurt you?”

  “No.” She shook her head at their dark expressions. They were out for blood. “He didn’t hurt me. Not in the way you think. And not intentionally.”

  Mason’s chin lifted. “Then in what way?”

  “Yeah.” Keiffer curled a hand around his fist. “And where can we find him to have a…chat?”

  “Whoa, hold on.” She jumped up, nearly knocking Ben over. “They’ll be no chatting. Kade only left me because he thought I was better off without him. Which of course is wrong. Totally and utterly wrong. I love the idiot. And he loves me. He just needs to realize it, and…and get some help.”

  Mason stiffened. “Help? What kind of help?”

  “Therapy,” she said quietly. “He lost a soldier under his command last year.”

  The posture on all four of her brothers changed. Their stiff, aggressive stances instantly mellowed, and with expelled breathes, they pulled out their chairs and sat down. No one said a word. Unfortunately, being in the Guard, each of her brothers understood what Kade was going through.

  “I didn’t want to leave him. I want to be there for him, but…” She sniffed, and when Ethan stood and pulled her in for a hug, she set her head on his shoulder. “He won’t let me in.”

  “It’s going to take time, Brandi,” her oldest brother said, patting her back. “Just don’t give up on him.”

  She nodded. “I won’t.” Then she drew back and wiped her eyes. “Okay, so…” She cleared her throat. “Now, enough with the faces. You have a game to win. Some friends to crush…yada…yada…”

  They smiled and nodded.

  “Aunt Brandi?” Tyler came rushing into the kitchen, big brown eyes alight with excitement.

  He was so full of life. Happy. Exuberant. It had been great to visit with her young nephew. She’d hardly left his side since arriving a week ago. He was a breath of fresh air. She squatted down to stare eye level. “What is it, Tyler?”

  “You have company.” He grinned a toothless grin and pointed toward the doorway.

  Company? She’d already met Lea and few of her friends for lunch two days ago. Following his little finger, her gaze slammed into a pair of jeans, and a very male, very familiar crotch. She knew those jeans. Knew that crotch. She’d removed those jeans from that crotch, many times.

  Her heart slammed into her chest at the same time she glanced up into the troubled gray eyes of the man she loved, and the momentum of both knocked her on her butt, literally.

  “Kade,” she said, struggling to right herself.

  He was in front of her in a shot, hands clasped on her arms as he helped her to her feet. “You okay?”

  She smiled and threw herself into his chest as tears blurred her vision. “I’m fantastic now. You came for me.” Squeezing him tight, she buried her face in his neck and inhaled. This wasn’t a dream. He was really there, smelling all clean and woodsy and male. Kade was really there.

  “Brandi, wait.” He drew back and held her at arm’s length, all eyes on them. “Hold on. I came here to grovel. And by God, I’m going to grovel. You deserve some groveling.”

  “Hell yeah.” Keiffer nodded.

  “I like this guy.” Ethan smiled, and Mason murmured in agreement.

  “Good to see you again, Kade.” Ben nodded, sweeping Tyler into his arms as he headed for the door. “Come on, kiddo. Nothing to see here.”

  “But I want to talk to Aunt Brandi’s company.”

  “You can talk to him later,” Ethan said, falling into step, mussing his son’s hair. “They need some privacy.”

  “But…”

  “You heard your dad, Tyler, time to go.” Her father stood by the door, ushering everyone out, then glanced at them when the room cleared. “Let the groveling commence, son.” With a nod, he pivoted on his heel and strode from the room.

  Her attention returned to the man still holding her arms. Her heart ached and rejoiced at the same time. Face not as hollow, dark circles not as prevalent, he still appeared tired and haggard. She reached up to touch his cheek. “I don’t want groveling. I just want you.”

  He shook his head and backed her up until her legs hit the chair she’d vacated earlier, and gently pushed her down. “Sit. You’re getting both. So please, just listen. Can you do that?” Bending at the knee, he stared at her until she nodded. “Good,” he said, then let go and stood.

  It took all the strength she could muster not to jump to her feet and hug him again. To pull him close, and melt into those warm, magnificent, beckoning muscles and never ever let go.

  She just couldn’t believe he was there, standing nervous in her kitchen, all gorgeous in a black coat, gray Henley, jeans and cowboy boots. Jordan and Kerri were right. They said he’d come for her. And he did. He actually came to Pennsylvania. For her.

  He shrugged out of his coat and set it over one of the other chairs, then blew out a breath and turned to her. “I’m sorry, Brandi. Sorry I was such a damn jerk.”

  Reassuring words sprang to her lips, but he shook his and she closed her mouth. Once again, she recognized the merit to doing what she was told. The sooner he got this off his chest, the sooner she could burrow into that chest.

  He began to pace. “I know you tried to help, but I was too stupid to recognize it. You also tried to open my eyes to the fact I was in trouble and in need of professional help. Again, I was too stupid.” His steps halted and he glanced at her. “Thanks for having Kevin and Cole intervene, by the way. I started going to Cole’s therapist.”

  Tears slid down her face. She couldn’t stop them. Happiness, relief—it was all too much and the emotions built until they overflowed. “I’m glad.”

  He nodded and his gaze softened. “I realize now some of my guilt was unfounded, and the rest I’ll find a way to live with. But Christ, I’ve been such an ass. In my infinite wisdom, I thought you were better off without me. Better off finding someone who could love you like you deserved to be loved. But now I realize, now I see that I was wrong.” He dropped to his knees in front of her, grasped her hands and
squeezed. “I am that person, Brandi. I can love you how you deserve to be loved. Hell, I already do. More than life.”

  That was it. She was done staying still. Done staying quiet. No more.

  She slid to the floor and hugged him tight. “I love you so much, Kade.”

  Strong arms wrapped around her and he buried his face in her neck, crushing her close. “I’m so lucky, Brandi. Don’t think I don’t know how damn lucky I am to have you. How lucky I am that you love my sorry ass.” He inhaled and shook against her. “I promise I’ll never leave you again. And I sure as hell am going to love you like you deserve to be loved.”

  She increased her hold and nodded against his chest, her whole being warmed by the strength of his words, the two arms holding her tight, the steady heart beating under her ear. This time, they really were going to be okay. He wanted help. He got help. Now he was there for her. He wanted her.

  He got her.

  “I love you, Brandi,” Kade said, bringing them both to their feet. Cupping her face, he stared into her eyes, his gaze sure and strong. “Come back to Harland County with me. I know it’s asking a lot, you leaving your family again. And whoever it was you came up here to see.” His eyes closed briefly. “God, I hope it wasn’t Ed. But whoever it was, I swear to you, I’ll love you more.”

  Her mouth dropped open, and Brandi was sure her expression had to be better than priceless. “Of course I’ll go back. I only came up for a two-week visit.” She lifted her shoulders. “And I can assure you, Ed had nothing to do with it.”

  “Shayla said you returned to the Poconos for someone other than your brothers…”

  Now he was the one blinking.

  “Yes, to visit my nephew.” She caressed his face, pulse kicking up as her palm came in contact with the rough stubble on his chin. Her body remembered the sensation all too well. Missed it. Missed him. “But I wasn’t staying here. My place is with you. I’d never leave you, never desert you, Kade. Ever.”

  Emotions darkened his eyes and he clenched his jaw as he nodded.

  “I love you,” she told him again, holding his gaze, his face, making sure there would never be any doubt. “We’re going to get through whatever you need to get through, together.”