Both Sides Of The Fence 3: Loose Ends

by Pope, M. T.

  I got in the house and collapsed on the sofa. I was extremely tired and confused. Ashley was nowhere to be found. It was so quiet that I practically heard my thoughts wound up in my head. Everything was spinning and moving.

  Was Wallace and my biological father James really that close? Was Wallace and my father, Shawn, messing around too? What was really going on? And where in the hell was Ashley? Her ass has been MIA since she had gotten that car. She has been in and out of the house like a crackhead. And where in the hell did she get that car? She didn’t have a job. Her ass could be stripping for all I know. This is too much for me to handle. And to top it off I just found out my biological grandfather was gay with a side of lunatic. Wow God! What kind of mess is this! Both these fucking families are messed up.

  Ring ... Ring ... Ring

  “Hello!” My voice was filled with anger.

  “What’s wrong, Lex?” My father inquired.

  “I just have a lot on my mind that’s all,” I breathed out.

  “Let me guess, Ashley is in one of her moods again.”

  “No, actually she’s not.” It wasn’t a lie because if she was I didn’t get to see it. She would be in her room most of the time she was at home, when she was at home. I barely got to see her for a hot minute before she was gone again.

  “So what’s the problem then?”

  “Well, I ran into one of your old clients, Wallace, and we—”

  “You saw Wallace? He’s out there in California? What did he talk to you about?” He cut me off with all of these questions.

  “Well, Wallace and I work in the cafeteria together at the college and I did run into him when we were in Baltimore once. He thought I was you when I was using your car one Saturday in the summer.”

  “Oh ... okay,” he said letting up.

  “Sooo ... What did you guys talk about?” he slammed me with another question. I was beginning to think there was something between them, but could I just come out ask him directly?

  I bypassed it for now. “Well, he mainly asked how you were doing. He kept on rehashing the fact that you were such a good lawyer and friend.”

  “Really? Wow, that is great.” I could almost hear him smiling.

  “Yeah, it was much of nothing, but I did get to find out that he was dating Jerry/James Parks. And that they were very serious from what I can tell.”

  “Really, that’s something. I guess you learn something everyday.”

  “Yeah and come to find out, he is looking for James’s family too. He is trying to find out what James was like growing up and all and why someone would murder him.”

  “Oh ... okay. Be careful out there and while you are with him. He does have a history.”

  “Oh ... ah ... Dad. I got one question for you.”

  “Sure, son. Shoot.”

  “I was wonder if Wallace one of the guys you slept with?”

  “What? Me and Wallace sleeping together? Son, Wallace and I didn’t have that kind of relationship. It was purely business. Client-attorney relationship only.”

  “Okay, Dad.”

  “Son, did he tell you something like that? Because if he did, it was a lie.”

  “No, Dad, I was just asking, because you never really say anything about it. You just said that you had an issue with homosexuality. I was wrong for asking. I’m sorry. It was none of my business anyway.”

  “Son, you do have a right to ask me anything you want to. I want you to be comfortable with asking me anything you want to. I’m not promising you that I will be comfortable talking about it all the time, but I will do my best to be as up-front as possible.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I smiled, because I knew then that there wasn’t anything going on between them. I just needed to calm my nosy ass down. Some things just need to be left alone. And my dad’s sexuality was one of them.

  “Look, Dad, I got some studying to do and some plays to go over so I will hit you up later.”

  “Sure thing, Lex. Get a good night’s sleep.” With that he hung up the phone.

  The next day ...

  “Hey, baby.” My baby gave me a kiss on the cheek as she walked into my apartment. It was rare for me to have a girl over the apartment. I was private when it came to that kind of stuff. I also didn’t want anything sexual to jump off. I had goals set. I wanted to reach them without complications and sex only complicated things. I was a freak by nature, and keeping it together was not an easy feat. Beating off did relieve some of that pressure though. It wasn’t the same as a women’s womb, but it helped. I just didn’t want to get too used to using my hands to the point that a woman wouldn’t be needed. That wasn’t the reason that my baby was over here though. I was lonely. Ashley was out for a while and I really had no friends besides some football buddies. They were all football, all the time. I just wanted to talk. I didn’t want anything in particular; just to be around someone. At least that’s what I told myself. Things got a little heated a while after we sat down on the couch in the living room. I turned on the plasma television and put in my favorite movie, Basic Instinct. Sharon Stone was the shit in this movie. I know for a fact that she was an undercover freak outside of the role in the movie. She was too good at playing the part. Anyway, when it got to the part when she crossed and uncrossed her legs I felt my baby’s hand moving toward my manhood.

  “Whoa!” I pushed her hand away.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” She sat back a little. She had a disappointed look on her face.

  “Nothing, I’m just not there right now. Don‘t get me wrong you fine as ever. I‘m just not ready to take it there.”

  “Oh, I thought my age was getting to you or that you were gay or something.”

  “Gay? ... nah. I just don’t want to mess up a good thing.” She smiled.

  “Okay, I’m cool with that. I understand. That don’t mean we can’t fool around.” She winked. “I even got my buddy in my bag. We could do some things. Definitely.”

  My mind flashed back to when my mom caught me in the basement with those two chicks and I smiled. That was really good experience for me. I told my mom that it wouldn’t happen again, but I’m grown now. A little bit wouldn’t hurt. And this would be the safest sex possible, because there would be no intercourse or juices exchanged. Before I could agree or disagree she had leaned over and started to kiss me on my neck and my ear and fondled my pecs. I was groping her breasts and licking her neck. She was inching toward my manhood again and I pulled her away just in time. I still wasn’t good about that area just yet. She started to unbutton her blouse. When the front door open and Ashley flew in like a bat out of hell.

  “Damn, Lex. This is what you been doing when I’m gone?” she grilled my baby and then me. She was dancing around like she had to take a piss, but she still got one last smart-ass remark out. “Getting pussy and dick juice on the couch is not a good look Lex.” With that she shot into the bathroom. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even look my baby in the face. She just excused herself and left my apartment.

  Chapter 20

  Shawn

  In Need

  May 4th 4:30 P.M.

  “Shawn, was that Alex or Ashley on the phone?” Mona asked me as she handed me a glass of lemonade. I was in the backyard in the gazebo that I had built last summer.

  “It was Lex,” I answered as I sat up in the stretched bamboo lounging chair and matching ottoman. Mona smiled and then kissed me on my forehead. “I called him to check up on them since it’s been a couple of days since we’ve talked.”

  “Is everything all right out there?” she asked as she turned slightly to go back in the house. “Yes, everything is fine. He’s just a little overwhelmed with school, football and work.” I hoped.

  “Humph! ... my babies are such hard workers.” She smiled really hard. “We trained them well you know.”

  “I know. I was just a little worried that’s all.” I was more worried that they would find out that I was sleeping with James. But I knew I was the only living one tha
t knew about that, besides Mona.

  “Baby, let them live ... they are going to make their mistakes. It’s just up to us to be there when they need us.” She patted me on the head.

  “I know ... I know.” I said as she walked off back toward the house and into the kitchen.

  “Shawn, what is your problem?” I asked myself out loud. Those kids love you and they are not going to stop. You think that if they find out that you were sleeping with James that they are going to hate you or disown you? Or is the fact that you were interested in Wallace and even he didn’t know about it?

  I laid back all the way back in my chair as tears streamed down my face. The truth was the fact that I was still hurting from my past. I was still scared that I was going to mess up again and fall on my face again in front of my whole family. I prayed day and night that I would not go back but, forward. And it seemed like at times I could slip up at any moment, but I didn’t. I looked at the faces of my little ones every morning. That’s what kept me going, that and the prayer and Bible study that I had incorporated into my daily life and family.

  “God help your son ... I am in need of healing.” I got up and got on my knees and prayed a little while longer, then got up and went to bed waiting on an answer from God.

  Chapter 21

  Grace

  Getting a Little Closer

  May 8th 1:33 P.M.

  “Can I speak to a Grace Andrews?” an unknown caller asked.

  “Speaking.” I oozed professionalism.

  “This is Mercy General Hospital; we have a female patient here in the ICU. Her file says you are her next of kin so we called you. She is suffering from liver failure and we need someone to come down here to make some decisions on her behalf. She coherent, but lightly sedated.”

  “I’m on my way,” I said, hanging up the phone and rushed around my office to get myself together. “Lawd, not now!” A couple of tears ran down my face as I thought of losing my mother. I knew this day would come. I just didn’t think it would be so soon.

  I raced out of my office and nearly knocked over Ashley as she was about to come into the building.

  “Sorry,” I said as I continued walking, she followed.

  “So what’s the hurry?”

  “I have a family emergency. I don’t have time to talk right now,” I said as I crossed into the parking lot structure to get to my car. She kept on following. She didn’t get the hint.

  “Anything I can help with?” she asked.

  “Certainly not.” I kept walking until I got to the elevator and pushed the button. “I don’t need any company. And don‘t you have classes to attend?” I asked all in one breath.

  “Only had one today and it’s over. So I needed something to do. That‘s why I was headed to your office. To see if we could hang out.” She wanted something and she wasn’t fooling me. This bitch is such a spoiled brat!

  “Look Ashley, I don’t have time for this shit. You bugging the hell out of me,” I barked.

  “Oh, really?” We were standing on opposite sides of the car. “I think I need to call your husband and bug the hell out of him. Let’s see if he likes what Ashley has to tell him about his wife.”

  “Fine!! Get the fuck in!” I yelled. I put my put my finger on the door reader and pressed start button. After a few seconds of reading my fingerprint the car started and I pulled off, out the garage and toward the hospital.

  I pulled into the hospital parking garage and looked at myself in the mirror. My mascara was running a little so I reached over to the compartment next to me to get me some Wet Ones to just clean my face up altogether.

  “Is everything okay?” I heard Ashley ask me. I ignored her for a few seconds pondering the questions. I mentally went down my list of drama in my life and concluded that being all right was far from me at this moment. I wanted to run from this situation and all of the things that were plaguing me right now. During the drive over to the hospital my husband kept calling my phone. Good thing it was on vibrate and I didn’t have to explain anything to Ashley on why I was ignoring his calls. Even though if I didn’t have it on vibrate, Ashley would think I wasn’t answering my phone because of her. Truth is, my husband knew very little about me or my family and it was the same way with him. I have never met anyone from his family and neither him mine. I know what you are saying: That’s not realistic, but it was in our world. I guess we were both desperate for attention when we started dating. It was off to the justice of the peace and then it was done. He never asked to invite his family and I never mentioned mine. It was kind of like we got each other and we knew that family was a touchy subject for both, so we kept it quiet. Now I was about to lose a very important part of mine and I had no one to help me with it.

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, patting her on her leg. We got out of the car and made our way toward the exit.

  I stopped right before we went into the hospital entrance. “Ashley, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Look, we about to go in and see my mother. I would appreciate if you kept our relationship between us. She is going through kidney failure and I don’t want to excite or agitate her in anyway. Okay.”

  “I promise.” She smiled and then placed her hand over her heart and held the other hand up as if she was pledging allegiance. And that moment I saw the little girl in Ashley. The pure, innocent child that probably was sweet as pie. It also made me wonder why she was acting the way she acted. It has to be a reason for her behavior. I would hate to think that she was acting this way out of pure evilness. “I know I’ve been quite the character, but I will honor this request and keep it cool while we’re in here.”

  “Thank you,” I said as politely as I could.

  With that we walked into the hospital. We walked through the small hallway that was actually a full body scan. No weapons of any type were accepted in the hospital, library, post office or school in the whole country, except for law enforcement. National security was this country’s first priority at all times.

  We walked up to the shielded reception desk and scanned our identification cards, letting them know who we were before we could even speak to anyone. There was an instant background check done every time your identification was scanned for any government facility. Warrants, traffic tickets, child support, etc., everything was flagged and if you weren’t on the up-and-up you would be quarantined, searched again and then the proper authorities would handle the situation accordingly from there. And it only took a few seconds for anything to come back, so there was no running and getting away.

  “Thank you for visiting us. Your room number is 434C. Visiting hours are over at 8:00 P.M. Sharp. Have a pleasant visit,” the lady behind the counter with a headset spoke before we were allowed to get onto the elevator. A pleasant visit was all I could hope for. We rode the elevator in silence.

  My mind was on my past. What I been through and how I got to where I was at this moment. I didn’t know what to expect when I got to her room but I straightened myself up and pushed forward as the elevator doors opened. We walked down the hall and counted down the rooms until we got to the one that my mother was in. I pushed the door and walked in. My mother was in the bed with a couple of tubes running out of her.

  “Hey, Ma,” I whispered as I leaned over her. She was breathing slowly, but steady. She stirred a little in her bed and then her eyes fluttered open.

  “Hey, baby.” Her voice was a little on the weak side. A tear slid out of my eye and down my cheek. “You came!”

  “Mama, of course I did. You’re my mother.” I didn’t visit her as much as I did and when she told me she was have kidney problems I kind of pushed it off, when the doctor said that my mother would be fine on the medication she told her to take. I wasn’t being the child that I was expected to be. I was supposed to take care of her in her time of need, but I was still mending. I thought that not seeing her would punish her, but it took away from the time that we needed to be together. It’s amazing what you se
e when you look from the outside in. All of the things we think we are taking out on people, for things they have done to us, hurts both parties in the situation. And here I am in the hospital close to losing my only relative. I was so angry with myself. “I love you.” It was the first time I said it to her and really felt it. I hope it wasn’t because of the state that she was in that made it feel real, but you don’t miss or treasure something until it’s taken or almost taken away from you. Like right now as I looked down at my mom in this hospital bed. The beeping of the machines around her only made it worse, so much so that I had to take a seat next to her to keep my shaky legs from collapsing from underneath me.

  I still had my hand on hers as I sat.

  “Who is the young lady you brought with you today?”

  “Oh ... she a friend of mine.” I darted my eyes to Ashley really quickly then looked back at my mother.

  “Baby, you changed your mind?” she asked me with wonder in her glazed eyes.

  “No, Ma ... I haven’t changed my mind.”

  “Ma, have you called Aunt Bella to let her know you’re in the hospital?”

  “No, I don’t want her to know.” She was a little sour in tone as she said it.

  “Why Ma?” I asked.

  She looked at me with a “you already know” kind of glare. I knew all too well, so I left it alone.

  Before I could get another question out an Asian doctor walked into the room with an electronic device. “Hello, I am Dr. Hang.” He then started to scan my mother‘s midsection. It looked like a wand that is used by police when they are arresting someone, but this was one that the doctor used to scan over her body. In this day and age there was almost no more need for large scanners in hospitals anymore. A simple wave of the wand and doctors could tell you what was going on internally in you in minutes.

  “How are you doing today?” he said as soon as he finished.