by Pope, M. T.
“Is everything ready?” I asked as I walked back into the living room ready to go.
“Yep, it’s ready to go.” He sounded chipper. I was still embarrassed by what happened almost a half hour ago. I was a sick old man, preying on a young boy, because he looked like my dead lover. I was losing my damn mind.
“Well, you ready?” he asked me as he popped a VHS tape in the outdated VCR that was attached to something else that was then connected to my television. We both sat back on the sofa and he pressed a few buttons on his remote and the plasma screen in front of us came alive.
After a few seconds of the fuzzy, snowy screen an office scene popped onto the screen. I looked at amazement as I watched a little boy sitting on a long black leather sofa with his book bag fumbling with it. It was my brother David. I smiled because I remembered some of the good times we had as kids when we were really young. Those were the days. When we used to play together ... you know, hide-and-seek in the house, camping out in our rooms, and so much more. It amazed me how things drastically changed between us. It was as if we were strangers. In fact, we were strangers. I knew nothing about either of my brothers or any of my family for that matter.
“Who’s that?” Alex asked. I almost forgot he was in here with me.
“Professor Andrews,” I spoke as we continued to watch.
“Wow, he was a little guy,” he laughed.
“Yeah, he was.”
A few seconds later another guy enters the room and stands in the middle of the floor with his hands in his pockets. I leaned in a little to try to get a good picture of who it was, but couldn’t. Another few seconds later and my father popped back on to the screen. What happens next opens my mouth all the way.
My father and the other man began to kiss and fondle each other.
“Oh shit!” Alex belts out. “What the hell is this some sort of gay porn?” I unintentionally ignore him because my brother bolts to the door of the office. I could see him yelling something but I didn’t know what, since the tape was without sound. My father walks over to my brother to say something to him while the unknown guy strips down and bends over the couch with his butt in the air.
I turn my head to look at Alex real quick. His mouth is open as wide as mine, neither one of us is moving away from in front the screen like a normal person would do.
Then something even more fouler happens. My father walks over to the guy and sticks his face in between his buttocks and tosses his salad.
“Whoa ... whoa ... whoa.” I see Alex turn his head, but I continued to watch.
I then watch my father and this guy get up. My father pulls David, who is still at the door, back in front of the naked man. He says something to the David and then kneels in front of him.
“No... . no ... no,” I shake my head side to side. I watched the man suck my brother off. The man leans his head back and that is when I recognize who the strange guy is.
“John ... fuckin’ ... Parks!” I yell out in fury. I look around to see Alex at the front door himself shaking his head side to side. He has tears in his eyes. Before I could say anything to him I felt my stomach churning and I grabbed my mouth as I sprinted to my bathroom to relieve myself. What I just saw was too much for me. That shit was too much for anyone to see. My brother/ sister was right. I knew nothing. I did get the easy way out. I began to feel really guilty that they were abused and I wasn’t. I was even more confused now. Why wasn’t I abused? Or was I, I wondered.
After about five minutes in the bathroom I slowly made my way back into the living room. Alex was on the living room sofa. The television was off. You could tell he was crying, because his face was still wet from tears.
“You okay, man?” I asked with a still shaky voice.
“Nah, ma.” I breathed in hard and put his face in his hands for a few seconds. I lean back on the sofa and just look up at the ceiling in a daze.
“James is my father,” I heard Alex say.
“What?” I snapped back up. Fully alert.
“James Parks is my biological father.”
“What? ... how? ... what? ... Huh?” I stammered in confusion.
“My mother and James had an affair and James Parks is my father,” he said it as plain as if he was saying ‘I’m going to the store.’
The ringing of the phone put the conversation that we were having on pause.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Baby, they have to take your father to the hospital, he don’t look too good. I think you should come now,” my mother spoke in between tears.
“Okay, “ I spoke drily. I had no emotion for a man I never really liked or knew. I asked her the hospital and I told her that I would be there as soon as I could. I told Alex what was going on and he opted to go to the hospital with me. Truth was he looked a little worn-out, but I did have some more questions for him about the bomb he just dropped on me seconds ago. I had some questions for my mother. I needed to know if she knew about all of this molestation mess. I was boiling mad as well on the inside, but I didn’t let it show. I was also worried about how I was going to handle seeing my father at the hospital. I just might have to kill him if he pulls through.
I pulled up to the hospital, but I wasn’t in a rush. After what I just saw just a couple of hours ago, his ass could shrivel up as far as I am concerned.
“Wallace, I’m sorry about all of this, man.” Alex stated. “I wasn’t trying to use you. I just wasn’t sure how you would respond to that kind of news.”
“You know what Alex, right now I’m still trying to digest all of this molestation stuff. I can’t fault you for keeping that secret. The truth is I probably would have done the same thing. I have so many questions right now that my head is swirling.”
“Man, I would too, if that type of stuff was going on in my family. But, since we are connected in some way by all of this, I’m here for you.” He had a real sincere look on his face. It was the same face that James had when we got married and he said “I do.”
“While we being honest here, I have something I want to confess. I was attracted to you sexually. I grieved so much for James that your similar facial features lead me to believe you were him in some way. I just thought that you have an uncanny resemblance to him. Now that I know he was your father, I have to apologize for feeling that way without your knowledge.”
“It’s okay, man, and for the record, I’m not gay. Not that I have anything against that, that’s just not my scene.”
“Right ... right ... I understand totally.” I nodded my head in agreement. It felt so much better to get that off my chest.
“So whatever happens in the hospital today, I got you.” We gave each other a pound and exited the car for the hospital. We went through the normal security scanner and made our way to the floor where my family was. I looked over at Alex on the elevator ride up and he was in deep thought. I shook my head the whole time in awe of the fact that he was James’s son.
When we got to the floor, David and a lady, who I assumed was his wife, were standing outside the room. We walked up to them and Alex greeted them both and went to take a seat in the waiting room across the hall. A few minutes later David’s wife did the same. She was a little on edge I could feel, but I paid it no mind. I was here for my family.
David and I both walked into the room to see my mom and Rebecca sitting next to my father, who was hooked up to a lot of tubes. He was so frail it was hard to look at him.
“Hey Ma, What’s going on?” I really, really wanted to know about if she knew about the whole molestation thing, but I let it slide for the moment. Looking at my father in the hospital bed almost made me compassionate for him, but then I looked at my transsexual brother and DL brother and compassion became lost on me again.
“Well, his body is starting to shut down. He is loosely coherent, but it is touch-and-go. The doctors said he could go at any moment. I just don’t know what to do. I—I ... don’t want to lose him,” she cried and buried herself in my chest. I rubbed h
er back trying to console her. It confirmed for the fact that she could have not known about what was going on.
“I’m sorry, Ma. But maybe it’s his time to go.” I tried to reassure her. “We all have a time to go, his is coming.”
“How ... how could you say that?” She pulled away from me and looked at me angrily. She was hurt by the truth I could tell. The bearer of bad news was never looked upon favorably.
I looked over at Rebecca and David, who were looking back at me in fear. They must have known I was going to blow the lid off of the situation. I couldn’t hold it in me any longer.
“He wasn’t the man you thought he was.” I looked her square in the eyes.
“Wallace, what are you talking about?” She looked confused. It was now or never. I could see my brothers in the background shaking their heads no, but I had to do it.
“You husband is the reason your children are the way they are. He started this mess. He let some man take their innocence.” I pointed toward my brothers whose eyes had tears threatening to fall.
“What are you talking about?” She stepped even further back.
“Your husband and our father let a man molest your children.”
“He did what?” Her face was twisted. “What? ... How? ... That’s not true. It can’t be true.” She shook her head in disbelief.
“Believe it!” Rebecca popped up out of her chair and seconded what I was saying. “He wasn’t what you thought he was. I am twisted because of his sick ways.” She scowled and turned her head toward my father’s bed and then at David like he was supposed to be next to confess.
“He touched you?” She walked over to Rebecca and gently rubbed her face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I couldn’t Mama, I couldn’t ... He warned us not to; me and David.”
“David, baby is that true?” She walked over to where David was sitting. Tears were streaming from his face like a running faucet. He nodded his head yes and he stood up like a baby and hugged our mother. He was the one who cried the hardest. I was crying now too.
We all crowded around my mother and cried for a few minutes. That‘s all we did.
We heard someone clear their throat in the room. We broke apart to see John Parks standing in the room with us.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I cursed. I was hot and boiling mad. He had the audacity to walk up in like he belonged.
“It’s a family reunion ain’t it?” He laughed really hard.
“Who is this?” my mother inquired.
“Your husband’s mistress.” I smirked John’s way. He didn’t like it one bit.
“His what?” She shrieked in shock.
“This is the muthafucka that turned me into the woman I am today,” Rebecca hissed.
“Uhhhhh ... mmmm,” We all turned to see my father began to moan and his face begin to twist up. John rushed over to his side.
“Baby, you okay?” he asked. My father was nonre-sponsive. My mother, on the other hand, looked like she was about to pass out.
“Maaaaa!” I yelled out as I came to her rescue. She had blacked out and was about to hit the hospital floor. I grabbed her just in the knick of time. While I had her, both my brothers saw it fit to take their frustration out on John Parks. They commenced an ass-whooping that I could feel with every blow.
Pretty soon the room was filled with nurses trying to get my brothers off of John. It was too late, because John was now unconscious. They carried him out and they made my brothers leave the room while I tended to my mother.
Chapter 34
Alex
All Fall Down
May 23rd 6:03 P.M.
“Baby, what are you doing here?” I asked as I watched her walk in the hospital waiting room. She and Professor David looked like they had just got into a fight or something. She looked surprised. She then looked around the room like she was confused.
“Ohh ... uhhh ... visiting my father.” She sat on the other side of the room like she was afraid to sit next to me.
“Oh, he’s sick?” I asked, concerned.
“Yeah, our father is dying.” Professor Andrews spoke up. I had almost forgotten he was in the room. I looked at his wife and she had a nervous look in her eyes.
“Our?” I looked at Professor Andrews.
“Yes, our.”
“Y’all brother and sister?” I asked Rebecca.
“Well ... sorta.” She was shaking like a leaf on a tree branch in a windstorm. I started to look at her funny.
“Sorta?”
“You mean you don’t know?” Professor Andrews asked me with a perplexed look on his face.
“Know what?” I asked confused, looking back and forth between the professor and Rebecca.
“Please... . Please... . just stop!” Rebecca yelled out.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I went over to her to try and comfort her, but she got up and stood by the door. “What’s going on?”
“She’s not a she.” Professor Andrews spoke up letting the cat out of the bag. “She’s a he.”
“What the fuck!” I shot up out of my chair. “Nah ... nah ... nah... . You lying. You lying! She doesn’t look like a man ... She couldn’t be ... could she?” I shook my head from side to side in confusion. “I’m going to ask you one time and one time only. Are ... you ... a man?”
She shook her head yes. Then I lost it. Like lightning I picked up the ceramic vase that was on one of the end tables and threw it at his head. Professor quickly got up and restrained me because I was going for blood
“You muthafuckin’ faggot ... how could you? You ... you tricked me. When the fuck was you going to tell me? When?”
“I—I—I—was going to before we got intimate.” The she-male was crying hard.
“I’m so muthafuckin’ glad I didn’t fuck you... . oh my god... . I was about to fuck you. Oh my god! Oh my god! ... I’ma kill you.” Oddly enough no nurses or security came to see what the commotion was about yet. I sat down for a second to catch my breath and get my thoughts together.
“A fuckin’ man,” I mumbled to myself.
I looked over at Professor Andrews and his wife, she had tears in her eyes and she was shaking her head from side to side. Like she couldn’t believe it herself.
“What are you shaking your head for bitch?” I looked at Rebecca in confusion. She had her eyes locked with Professor Andrews’s wife.
“Your ass is doing the same damn thing to him,” she hissed. My mouth hit the floor.
“What?” Professor Andrews jumped up. “What are you talking about?” He looked at Rebecca.
“You married to a man.” She smirked. “Sorry dear brother, but you been shacking up with Thomas Jones. A man.”
“Oh shit!” I belted out.
“You ... you can’t be.” He shook his head from side to side. She eased out of her seat and edged toward the door right next to Rebecca.
“Thirty years ... thirty years ... thirty years,” he kept on repeating. “How could you do this to me?”
“I’m so, sorry ... I’m sorry, baby ... I’m sorry, baby... .” she pleaded. He just looked at her. And stared and stared and stared. I was kind of scared of what he might do. It was only a few seconds but it was crazy quiet in the room. Then he charged her and started to punch her, and then I realized again that it was a man, and then I realized that that same thing happened to me minutes ago and I said fuck it and charged after Rebecca who was still in the corner of the room by the door. We were all fighting and throwing shit around. Security and nurses broke us up and the police came and arrested us for hitting women. They didn’t know that the two ladies were actually men. Both of us men were ashamed that we were in that type of situation
Wallace and his mother stood by as he watched the police escorted me and Professor Andrews off to jail. I shock my head in shame. I didn’t want anything on my record. And I didn’t want to disappoint my dad, but it was what it was right now. I was headed to jail.
Chapter 35
Shawn
All At One
May 23rd 8:31 A.M.
“Baby, you okay?” I heard Mona ask me as we sat in BWI Airport waiting for our flight to California. We had all the kids with us. I had found James’s mother and we were going to get some closure for her and us.
“Yes, Mona, I’m fine, but I will be better when we get this situation under control.” I have been calling Alex and Ashley’s phone and getting no response. They both went straight to voice mail as soon as I hit the button to call them. I didn’t let Mona know all that was going on, because I didn’t want to worry her. I just told her that I wanted James’s mom to meet her grandkids since she never met them. I don’t even know if she even knew about them. I couldn’t keep them from their other family any longer. I had to get used to the fact that they had three families instead of the two I let them see. I was selfish and God was dealing with me about it now. I just hope nothing happened to them for me not tying up these loose ends.
“Damn, Shawn!” I mumbled to myself.
I got up out of my chair and walked over to the large window to get a moment to myself. I was emotional and I wanted to be alone. I just hope my kids forgive me for being so selfish and secretive.
“Daddy, what’s wrong?” my daughter Diana came over and asked me. She was fifteen now and very beautiful. A spitting image of her mother.
“Nothing baby girl, just looking at the planes take off.”
“Okay, can I stand here too?” she asked. She wasn’t my daughter biologically either. She knew it and she didn’t treat me any different.
“Sure, why not.” I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in tight. She laid her head on my shoulder. Moments like these made being a father worthwhile. If I lost anyone of them I don’t know what I would do.
