by Pope, M. T.
“I like how the planes take off and land, Dad. It’s really cool. When you said we were taking a trip to California to see Alex and Ashley I asked a couple of my Facebook friends about their first plane ride experiences. Most people say the plane taking off is the scariest part. Some people said that being in the air and going through turbulence is the hardest. But even more people say that the landing part is the best, because it brings a release of calmness over you.”
“Oh, really?” I said as I stared out of the window looking at the planes land and take off. Truth be told, this is my first plane ride and I don’t know what to expect. What I had to do on the other side of this plane ride was bothering me the most.
“Yep, but you know what I figured out, Daddy?”
“What is that, baby girl?” I looked at her inquisitively.
“I figured that just like life, this plane ride is about the whole experience. In life you go up and you go down and your going through may be rough. There is always a beginning and an end, but you must go through something to appreciate both the beginning and the end.”
“Where’d you get that from, Diana?” I asked, shocked. She had no idea what I was going through but yet she answered my fears with a perfect analogy.
“Bible study.” She smiled.
“Good girl.... Good girl.” I kissed her on her forehead. “You don’t know it but you just made Daddy’s day.” She smiled with her braces on her teeth like I just gave her a hundred bucks. The information she just gave me was priceless. I had to do what I had to do now and that was save my family. God is something else.
“... out of the mouths of babes,” I mumbled to myself as we walked back over to where Mona and the other two children were.
“4665 flight to California is now boarding. Please make a single-file line at the departures gate at this time.” A polite female’s voice filled the air above us, letting us know our flight was ready to go. Within minutes we were on the plane and taking off. Several hours later we were on the landing in California. And just like Diana said, it was an experience that I had to go through to get through to the other side.
We picked up our luggage and made our way to rent a minivan for our stay here. Alex and Ashley didn’t know we were here and I hoping that they were doing what they were supposed to do, but I knew that was asking too much. Alex was nosy and Ashley had control and selfish issues; all a recipe for trouble. I called their phones and I watched as Mona did the same. She asked me what was going on, I just assured her that this was almost finals time and they probably shut their phones off for that reason. It was a lie, but I hoped that it was a reality.
Chapter 36
Ashley
Hurt People, Hurt People
May 23rd 2:33 P.M.
Just before he pulled the trigger to the gun, he walked away. I was thanking Jesus in every way imaginable at this time. I wanted to scream for help, but the gun he had suggested that I keep it shut. Jesus was the only one that could save me from myself and this lunatic. Seconds later I see him bring out Ebony. She was beat up pretty bad. I shook my head in shock. She had a busted lip, a black eye and a lump on her head. I was in and out of consciousness, so he could have been beating her when I was unconscious or something like that in the other room. She looked bad nonetheless. He still had the gun in his hand and my hands were still tied behind me. His ass must have been a master at kidnapping or something because he had my hands tied pretty securely. I tried and tried but to no avail. I was stuck. My cell phone was on the table in front of me and it looked like it was off. So no one could even reach me if they tried. Times like this I prayed that I told Alex what I was up to, but I had to be a bitch and now I was reaping what I sowed. Again, it was a little too late to be feeling regretful.
“You like tonguing down my bitch?” he growled almost. He didn’t know that it was quite the opposite. I was the one being tongued down by her. I didn‘t say anything I just stared at him. He was manhandling her some kind of rough too. “I’m going to show you how it is really done.” He proceeded to pull down her pants, push her over the arm of the sofa. Her eyes were dead-set on mines. It was like she was saying “I told you so.” It made me feel even worse than before. I had not only put my life in jeopardy but I also put hers in jeopardy as well. Lord, please help us! I’m sorry for all that I’ve done. Please hear me, now. He pulled out his manhood and started to stroke it to an erection. For some odd reason I was getting turned on as he stroked himself. I watched him as he pushed himself into her. He exhaled like it was taking away his stress just by entering her. I never got to experience that feeling from a man. Didn’t know if I ever wanted to.
He slowly started to pump her and with each pump tears flowed from her eyes. I didn’t know if she was enjoying it or what. Then all of a sudden he switched gears and started slamming into her womb like he was power driver trying to break ground. She just lay there silently and took it like it was an everyday occurrence. I kind of felt sorry for her. He didn’t show her any kind of care or anything. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am! And roll over and go to sleep. A typical man. He wasn’t taking care to take care of her as well as himself. But then I thought about our sexual sessions and I did the same thing. I wasn’t treating her with care either.
Hurt people, hurt people, popped into my head. It was something my grandmother used to say to me. I was just getting it now. I was just realizing that I was hurting and I needed help. I was angry at God for letting me be this way and not changing me when I asked him to. How could He let me endure such an unnatural thing? But I wanted a release from something that I wasn’t too sure I wanted to give up. Then again, sitting here tied up was a real persuasive tool to get me to think about my lifestyle. It’s funny how God does things in unconventional ways to get us to see it His way. I can’t have it both ways. I see now, God. I see. Not my way but yours. I relent. I surrender. I give up. My head slumped down on to my chest and I cried like a baby. Everything that was going on around me was a blur as I sobbed uncontrollably and openly.
“Bitch, what are you crying for?” Ebony’s husband walked up to me and barked at me. I ignored him and continued my long cry. He slammed me in the head with the gun again.
He walked away from me and over to Ebony. He pulled her up off the chair with force.
“Me or her?” He looked at Ebony. I was confused by his question. She was too. He handed her the gun. I understood then, but he verbalized it. “I need you to choose between me and her right now. You know what I mean?”
She nodded. “I ... I choose you, baby!” She trembled in fear.
“Now that I know who your choice is, you got to shoot the bitch for trying to tear our home apart.” He was behind her and he lifted the gun up with his arms around hers. She had a look of remorse on her face. He had a sick smile on his face. It was like he was going to enjoy watching me die.
“Ebony, don’t do this. You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry for all that I’ve done to you. I’m sorry!” I begged and pleaded softly.
Ebony was now standing with the gun with a silencer pointed toward me all by herself.
“Do it for us, baby. Do it for us.” He was standing beside her, coaching her like he was her drill sergeant in the army or something. I saw her squeeze the trigger and smile, like she was getting payback.
Pop!
Chapter 37
Wallace
It’s Over Now
May 23rd 6:40 P.M.
“What the hell happened in here?” The police had just carried Alex and my brother off to jail. My mother sat on the side of me while I questioned my brother and sister/brother-in law.
“Well, we—” Rebecca looked at my mother and then at Grace. Both had tears in their eyes. “We did some bad things.”
“What do you mean bad things?”
“We weren’t quite honest with our men.” She shook her head in shame. “They didn’t know that they were dating/married to transsexuals. We didn’t mean to hurt them. It’s just that we—we—�
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“We wanted someone to love us for us and not what we used to be,” Grace chimed in. “We went about it the wrong way and now it’s all over. We are back at square one.”
“How could you?” my mother asked with her hand over her chest. “You can’t play with people’s feelings like that. It’s just plain wrong. Wrong I tell you.” She had a really disappointed look on her face.
“Ma, I know. I’m sorry for it now. I really am.”
“I can’t blame them for acting out the way they did when they found out,” Grace said solemnly to my mother. “I am sorry for hurting your son. I did love him though.”
“Sweetie, you couldn’t have. You don’t love you, so how could you know about loving someone else? I think you two got just what you deserved. I don‘t know about how you got the way you did, but I now know about my son‘s plight. It doesn’t excuse the actions though.” She looked at them with a pitiful face.
I shook my head in unbelief.
Then Grace spoke up, “Ma’am, I was molested as a child and it severely damaged my sense of who I was or supposed to be. I wanted to be a man, but being so young and being molested, I thought I was supposed to be. I was always a pretty boy and my molester always said I was as pretty as a girl, so I thought that God or somebody had made a mistake and this is what I was supposed to be. He messed me up bad. That is how Rebecca and I met; at the reconstructive surgery office. We’ve been best friends ever since. We lost touch all this time, but we still are good friends.”
“Okay.” My mother spoke as she nodded her head.
“Sorry for letting the cat out of the bag earlier.” Rebecca grabbed Grace’s hand and squeezed it. “I was caught up in the moment. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s all right. It would have eventually come out anyway. Thank God he didn’t kill me, though. Even though I’ve been feeling half dead for most of my life anyway.” She was crying really hard now. I personally couldn’t imagine going through any of that. The surgery and all. I liked men, but getting my manhood cut off was out of the question. Sad thing is manhood has nothing to do with what you got between your legs. That is a small part of it. It was about total being. These two had their manhood stripped from them at a young age.
“It’s such a shame. All of this mess.” My mother shook her head with tears in her eyes.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her toward me.
“My babies are messed up because of me not paying attention to what was going on in my house.”
“Well, Ma. That is partially true. You couldn’t be everywhere and with us at every turn. And these two should have said something to someone no matter what,” I stated as I looked on to the two deceivers.
“It’s not that easy, when you have someone like Daddy doing stuff to you.” Rebecca sniffed back some tears.
“Lawd, I don’t know what to do. Truth be told, your daddy and I did separate for a small period of time. We were having problems and we decided to take a break. I didn‘t know he was doing that guy in there. You guys actually were too young to remember. I didn’t know he was that way. I would have never left him around you boys. I just thought that I was too nagging and putting a lot of stress on him. His practice was just starting and we were struggling and he just snapped one day. He said he needed a break and he left. It hurt me to my heart. You boys and the Lord were the only things that keep me sane. I just can’t believe I missed all of this. I—I—don’t know what to do. A mother is supposed to know when something is wrong with her family. I was too wrapped up in saving my marriage and my husband’s happiness, that I neglected you boys. I wasn’t paying attention to the signs. For all of this to come out now. I—I’m so brokenhearted. I failed you boys. I failed. ”
“No, Ma. You did a wonderful job on all of us. Don’t blame yourself for Dad’s actions. He made those decisions and that is the truth. Him and ...” My voice trailed off. I immediately went to the videotape that I saw earlier today and tears filled my eyes. This was a real, real bad situation for my family. Anyone’s family for that matter. I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes.
“John Parks is his name.” I finally spoke up. I shook my head in shame and confusion.
“How do you know who molested me?” Grace interrupted us.
“Excuse me?” I asked. “He molested you too?”
“Yes, he did. And I think he molested my cousin Jerry too. His own son. The sorry son of a bitch.” Her face twisted up in anger.
“What? You’re Jerry’s cousin?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“He was my lover.” I lowered my head.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Grace spoke with compassion.
“No need to be sorry. I’m doing fine with his loss now.”
“Good ... good,” she spoke back.
“Look let me go down to this jail and see if I can get these two released.” I stood up and stretched. “Ma, stay here I’ll let you know what’s going on and you do the same.”
“Okay, baby.” She kissed me on the cheek. “I sure will.” I didn’t know my mother well, so I didn’t know how she could still be so quiet when she knew the man who was her husband let someone else molest them. I don’t know if I would be so nice and stay by his bedside in the hospital.
“We’ll go too,” Rebecca and Grace spoke up together.
“No, I don’t think that is a good idea right now. We need to let them cool off. I just need you two to be honest and let the authorities know when the time comes. Okay?”
“Okay,” I hugged them both, because I know they too would be having a difficult time to adjusting to what is going on now that their partners know about them.
I walked out of the hospital totally exhausted. I was in over my head for sure. I slowly walked across the parking lot toward my car.
I’ve never experienced so much drama in all my life. I lived drama-free almost all my life and up until I met James, my life was pretty calm. Even with me selling drugs and all of that. I loved him, but, man; if I would have known that it would have led to all of this then I would have never hopped in his car. But, on the other hand, if I had not met him I wouldn’t have found out about all of this mess in my family and I wouldn’t have gone looking for answers to questions I didn’t have. As of right now, I wasn’t sure how this was going to end, but I hoped that it all ended well.
I finally got to my car and heard footsteps behind me. I quickly turned to see John Parks behind me. He had a couple of bruises on his face and a swollen lip.
“Wallace, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Man, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I know, but there is just something that I needed to tell you. It’s about your father.” I looked at him and wondered what he could possibly tell me about my father that I wanted to hear or cared about hearing. I should have been breaking him off another ass-whooping just for my mother’s sake, but I knew she wouldn’t approve of it. Even though she did let my brothers whip on him first. I also had an unbelievable tolerance for forgiving and letting go of people wronging me. I didn’t like it as a kid and even now, but it was a part of me, so it naturally happened. Now I’m not saying I’m God with the forgiveness piece, but I do let stuff go easily.
“Man, make it quick.” I leaned back on the trunk of my car, folded my arms and waited for him to start. His old ass was good-looking though, I had to admit. James probably would have looked like him at this age too. If he were alive.
“Look, your father and I had a relationship that wasn’t like everybody played it out to be. I wasn’t a home wrecker. We just had a natural bond. At first we were client-patient and then we became friend-lover, it was wrong. I know that now. I was seeing him for my issues and against policy he started to tell me about his past and then we just clicked. One thing led to another and we started getting sexually involved and then he suggested that we involve your brothers. At first I was against it, but the more he
talked about it the more I gave in. He said he could never do his sons himself, but he wouldn’t mind watching someone else doing it. Twisted and hellish it is. And I accept my fate or eternal damnation for it. I let my demons run me and my love for attention from your father consumed me and I was forever lost. You know he always talked about you. You were his favorite.”
I thought back on how my father treated me as a child and the things he said to me. I just couldn’t see how I was his favorite son and the fact that he could treat me the way he treated me.
“That can’t be true. He hated me and then he put me out of his house.”
“I know, I know.” He nodded. “That was a front for your mother, he didn’t want to let on that he and you had the same affliction. You were a mirror to him. He wanted to beat it out of you verbally, seeing himself in you tore him apart. He would cry and cry in my sessions with him. He didn’t want you to be like him, but since you were, he thought it only fair that your brothers suffer the same fate. He didn’t want you to be alone in the house with the affliction he shared with you. You know what they say one bad apple spoils the bunch. That’s what he did. He thought he was making it even, but he only made it worse.”
“Nah, man you telling me some real sort of crazy shit right now. He had to be mentally challenged to think like that. I mean real crazy. That kind of crazy you can’t hide. I mean he was a freaking psychologist. How he gonna be one and need one too? I’m not wrapping my mind around this man. This ain’t no normal shit here you telling me.”
“True, but it is the truth. You ever hear of a functioning drug addict, well, your father was a functioning crazy. Loosely put.” He chuckled a little bit, but I didn’t find anything funny. My father had literally screwed up his family intentionally.
“Look, man, I got to go. I can’t ... I can’t ... I just got to go.” I got up off the trunk of my car and walked around to get in the driver’s side.
