Over the Edge: The Bridge Series: Book Three

by Meredith Wild

  I made eye contact with Will. My heart beat wildly, and I fought the sudden urge to cry. Falling for two men wasn’t ever what I’d had in mind, but now we were all here, facing my family. I swallowed over the knot in my throat and the uncertainty that painfully tightened my chest.

  Will walked to me slowly. He touched my cheek, his eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t place. “You okay?” he murmured, like no one else was there.

  I wasn’t, but I was trying to be strong. I nodded. I didn’t know how we were going to get through this, but I had to trust that somehow we would. I’d been careless. My family wasn’t ready for the truth. I wasn’t sure they’d ever be.

  “I’m sorry—”

  “You don’t have to apologize.” He turned, taking a casual stance beside me, hands tucked into his pants. “There’s nothing to figure out. I appreciate the concern, but there’s nothing awry here.”

  We stood like that, silence stretching out between our two groups—three people who’d fallen into feelings that we’d never expected or asked for, and the rest of my family, who might never understand it.

  Vanessa’s jaw fell.

  Darren took a threatening step forward. “Wait a minute. You’re seeing both of them?”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but my lip was trembling, and all the words that justified the way I felt refused to come out. They sounded right in the closed circle of my relationship with Will and Ian. Here and now, under the judging eyes of Darren and the rest of my family, they were stifled and shameful.

  Tears stung my eyes, but I lifted my chin, hoping I could hold my ground without breaking down.

  “Yes, I’m with both of them. What difference does it make?”

  My heart seemed to buoy with relief. Speaking the truth felt infinitely better than I’d expected it to. Ian’s hand tightened over mine. Will’s arm came around my shoulders and I leaned infinitesimally closer, savoring his gesture of support, of togetherness.

  Darren’s eyes were wild and then narrowed threateningly between Ian and Will. “You’ve got to be kidding me. This is who you are now, Liv?”

  Vanessa came to him and tugged at his arm. “Darren, stop. This is between them.”

  He shrugged her off. “No, I’m not going to stand here and let these two defile my sister. Not in this lifetime.”

  His fists got tighter, and Ian’s body tensed beside me like he was ready to fight. I stepped forward, positioning myself between them, away from the security of the two men who’d worked their way into my heart.

  “Darren, I don’t need you to fight for me, okay? I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.”

  “You have no idea. I know him. I know what he does to women, and I’m not letting him do it to you. That’s a fucking promise.”

  He’d given voice to a familiar worry that niggled at me. But deep down, I knew Ian had shown me a side that he hadn’t shown the other women he’d been with. What we had meant so much more.

  “Why do you get to fall in love, but I don’t?”

  Darren’s voice was softer when he spoke next, his posture relaxed enough to make me trust he wasn’t going to spring into action and take his rage out on Ian. “This isn’t love, Liv. This is some fucked-up thing you don’t want to get mixed up in. I don’t know what they said to talk you into this, but you deserve so much better.”

  “How do you know this isn’t what I deserve? This is a choice, not a circumstance that’s been forced onto me. I know what I want, and nothing you can say is going to change how I feel.”

  He winced and shook his head. “This is fucked up. Can’t you see it?”

  My eyes were brimming with tears, and my voice wavered as I teetered on the edge of breaking down. “You’re just like Mom and Dad, you know that?”

  “We’ve always been there for you.” Cameron’s voice was low and clear, ringing with truth. But disappointment and discontentment marred his brow and tightened his features.

  My whole life I’d watched my parents look at my brothers and me that way whenever we strayed from their firm expectations. Never had I believed my brothers would look at me that way too. I felt more alone now than I ever had before in my life.

  I swallowed down a sob. I couldn’t keep the tears at bay much longer.

  “You’re right. You’ve always been there for me. Until now. I need your love, not your judgment. I have a mind, and I know what I want. Who I sleep with, who I love, how I choose to spend any minute of my life is my choice. Not yours, not Cameron’s, not Mom and Dad’s.”

  When I thought about my parents’ inevitable disapproval on top of everything else, something inside me broke. They’d find out. If I was willing to admit my feelings in front of my brothers and their wives, I’d have to find a way to stand beside them when my parents came calling for answers. Except I had no idea how I’d survive that…

  Tears streamed down my face as I pushed past everyone. I hurried back inside, found my purse, and left the party without saying good-bye to anyone. My face was likely a tear-streaked mess, and the thought of facing my parents was more than I could bear.

  “Liv!” Maya’s voice echoed down the street, but I ignored it.

  Will hurried toward me as I hailed an approaching cab. He caught my arm gently before I could duck inside. “Olivia, wait. Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home.” My voice was watery, and the need to cry long and hard was nearly painful.

  He thumbed away the tears as they fell. “Come home with us.”

  Placing my hand over his, I leaned into his tender touch. I wanted to hide someplace safe, and no place was safer than with the two men who’d so unexpectedly and completely stolen my heart. But I needed time to think.

  “I need to be by myself tonight, Will.”

  “I don’t like the idea of you being alone.”

  I shook my head. “I need to think.”

  He frowned, his body suddenly tense. “I’m not losing you.”

  More tears fell. “You’re not losing me. I just need some time, please.”

  His jaw bunched and his lips formed a tight line. He didn’t want to let me go, but the voice that had guided me to this point told me loud and clear that I needed the comfort and security of my own apartment tonight. Quiet after the storm, time to work through everything that had happened.

  “I’ll be fine, I promise. It’s just one night.”

  “One night,” he said quietly but firmly.

  I nodded, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead before letting me go.

  Chapter Thirteen

  OLIVIA

  I ignored the persistent knock at the door and rolled over under my duvet with a miserable groan. If it was Cam or Darren or anyone else who wanted to throw in their two cents about my love life, they could keep knocking. I wasn’t planning on emerging anytime soon.

  I’d hurried home last night, desperate to escape all the prying eyes. I’d hoped to find a measure of peace in the quiet of my apartment, but my thoughts were rioting all night. I’d promptly located a bottle of wine and drank nearly all of it, rotating moods between tearful self-pity and a place of righteousness that made Darren’s words undeniably shallow and foolish.

  This morning my whole body ached. From the wine or the crying—or a combination of the two—I wasn’t sure. All I knew was my life had become incredibly messy. And if I wanted to live out of the bounds of what society expected of me, I was going to have to come to terms with messy. I was going to have to look messy in the face and own it as my new reality.

  Was I even capable of that? I’d been pushing my limits left and right, but maybe I’d finally hit a wall.

  I rose slowly from bed, regretting the dull throbbing in my head. At least the knocking had stopped. I showered and made myself some coffee. I dressed for the day but had no idea what I was going to do with myself. Darren and Cameron would be at the gym, kicking off the first day at the new location. I should have been there to lend a hand, but no way could I face them today. I wasn’t sure w
hen I’d be able to. The future seemed grim, a long runway of unknowns.

  Assessing the empty bottle of wine and the tissues littering my coffee table, I asked myself for the hundredth time if falling in love with two men was really worth it.

  My relationship with my parents would be worth nothing once they found out. My brothers would continue believing I was either too naïve to know better or a disillusioned slut. My friends… I hadn’t kept up with a lot of people since college, but my days pretending like I belonged with polite society were certainly numbered. The rumor mill and its loyal followers, many of whom would report back to my mother, would draw their own conclusions about what kind of woman I was.

  I sank into the couch with a tired sigh. What was done was done. It was too late to pretend I’d made different choices. But it wasn’t too late to walk away from it all.

  I’d started this unexpected journey with Will. He’d led me into Ian’s arms, but I was bound to Will in a way I couldn’t fully explain. He was intense, determined, and unapologetic about what he wanted. His dominance affected me deeply. He’d stripped me down until I was raw and real…only me. We were the same in so many ways—raised by wealthy families who had handed us everything money could buy from the day we were born. Yet we’d missed out on so many of the things that truly mattered. Family, love, precious time that no amount of money could buy back…

  For Ian, having those things and losing them with his father’s death had wrapped him in a sadness that I was determined to fight through. Ian was warm and brave, a rich texture of emotion and beauty. I was drawn to him, utterly and completely. But if my family didn’t approve of Will, they’d never give Ian a second glance. My brother joining the fire service when he could have been a banker or an executive had been a crushing blow to my parents. Didn’t matter that Ian was saving lives and putting his own on the line too. He’d never be good enough, even if he meant everything to me.

  Will and Ian had stormed into my life, seduced my body, and captivated my heart. I’d given them all of it—my trust, my submission, my love. Choosing between them would be asking me to rip my heart in half.

  It would be easier to simply walk away.

  I didn’t expect they’d make it easy for me, but I held the power to end it all. I could start over, try to forget what our time had meant, and one day, maybe try again with someone new. Someone who ticked all the boxes and wouldn’t make things messy and complicated. Someone who didn’t rock the foundation of my whole world.

  I tried to picture what that might look like. Then I saw the emptiness I’d lived with for so long growing bigger and more painful. Without Ian and Will in my life, I’d become the old shell of me. Unfulfilled, lost, and searching for those missing pieces all over again. Except I’d be more brittle, hardened by fresh heartbreak.

  Fresh tears burned my eyes. I set my coffee cup down. My appetite for consciousness and sobriety had effectively dissolved. My head fell into my hands, and I let the tears fall.

  Even as I searched for the right answer, I knew deep down there wasn’t one. I had to feel my way through this like everything else. With all the noise around me—Will, Ian, my family, and all the people in my future who’d want a say in how I lived and loved—I had to somehow stay true to myself.

  Another hard knock hit the door. I drew in a deep breath and wiped away my tears. I’d loosely considered holing up at a hotel for a few nights to avoid run-ins with Cam and Maya for a while, but the last thing I wanted to do was use my parents’ credit card for the extra expense. In fact, as soon as I’d weighed the possibility, I’d taken the scissors to it. I was done living under their thumb. I didn’t need the finer things in life as much as I needed my freedom.

  I could have stayed at Will and Ian’s, but that felt oddly like running away.

  “Liv, open up!” Maya’s voice was muffled behind the door.

  I cringed at the thought of facing her. She’d been silent in the wake of my shocking confession. She hadn’t been afraid to voice her support of my relationship with Will before. I doubted she’d be an advocate for me now.

  A few seconds passed before the door handle jiggled and turned. Then she and Vanessa were standing in my living room. Maya held the extra set of keys in one hand. The other rested on her hip.

  “You can’t just barge in here,” I said.

  She lifted an eyebrow. “Watch me. You’re not going to shut me out, Liv.”

  I sank farther into the couch and covered my swollen eyes with the heels of my hands. “Maya, please go away. I really don’t want to see anyone right now.”

  “We’re taking you to breakfast, and we’re going to talk through all this crap, okay?”

  I groaned out a sigh. “What is this? An intervention?”

  Vanessa laughed and took my hand, hauling me up to a standing position. “More like girl therapy. I had to listen to Darren go off half the night. I need a mimosa. Come on. I beg you.”

  The thought of orange juice and cheap champagne roiled my stomach. But nothing about their demeanor made me believe I was in for more anger and accusations.

  Twenty minutes later, I was waiting for my brunch order at one of our favorite diners. Without warning, Eli dropped into the seat between Maya and Vanessa.

  “Shit, what did I miss?”

  Their ex-roommate and good friend had become a regular fixture since Maya had come back into my brother’s life a year ago. He was a sounding board for my sisters-in-law, but I’d never quite brought my guard down around him.

  Maya sat back in her seat and rubbed her belly. “Nothing. We haven’t started the interrogation yet.”

  “Thank God. Maya said something about you having a threesome, and I couldn’t haul my ass out of bed fast enough.” He winked at me, brushing his jet-black hair from his forehead. “So who are the lucky guys?”

  My cheeks heated as I imagined myself turning twelve shades of red at his comment.

  “Our investor,” Maya said in a light voice that didn’t at all match the gravity of my current situation.

  “And a guy who Darren works with,” Vanessa added.

  Eli whistled and shook his head. “I’m guessing that isn’t going over so great with the Bridge brothers.”

  Vanessa let out a soft laugh and twisted her natural auburn hair into a messy bun. “I’m pretty sure Darren is going to have to be medicated if he doesn’t calm down soon.”

  “Cam wouldn’t talk about it. That usually means he’s too pissed to speak.”

  Dread tightened my gut. I immediately regretted letting them drag me here when I could be safely cocooned in my apartment, away from everyone…at least everyone who didn’t have a spare key to my place.

  Cursing under my breath, I started looking for the nearest exit. I wasn’t nearly ready for this conversation.

  Then Maya reached for my hand and gave it a small squeeze. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. They’ll get over it. They just need some time to wrap their heads around everything. I’m more worried about how you’re dealing with all of this.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing I could erase the last twenty-four hours and do things differently. “I don’t know.”

  “What happened?” she asked.

  I exhaled a sigh. “Things with Will started out pretty simple, but it’s gotten really complicated and really intense, for all of us. We’ve been living in our own little world, I guess. I won’t say navigating this relationship has been without complications, but everything seemed manageable until last night. I wasn’t expecting everything to be thrown into the spotlight so suddenly.”

  Vanessa leaned in on her elbows. “I can’t imagine circumstances where Cameron and Darren would have taken the news any better. Probably better to rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “What do Will and Ian have to say?” Maya asked softly.

  My thoughts drifted to the previous night. Ian had called me after I left the ribbon-cutting. He wanted to make sure I was all
right but thankfully didn’t press me when I asked for space. I needed to process everything that was happening. My crazy, intense relationship with Will and Ian. My brothers too, and what I was risking with this unconventional relationship.

  “I told them I needed some time to deal with all of this on my own. I think they understand they can’t just sweep in and try to fix everything, much as they may want to. Darren was fit to be tied last night. Obviously Cameron’s brewing inside too, so having Will and Ian anywhere near my apartment is probably an extremely bad idea.”

  Eli rested his chin in his hand. “So this isn’t just a kinky fling. This sounds serious. It must be if you were willing to come out to Darren and Cameron the way you did. I know you weren’t necessarily ready for it, but I’m no stranger to coming out. It feels like you’re risking everything.”

  I nodded silently. “I think we all fell into feelings that we weren’t entirely ready for. And you’re absolutely right. It feels like I’m letting everyone down, even though it’s my life we’re talking about.”

  “Liv, don’t say that. This is your life and your choice,” Vanessa said.

  “Tell that to my brothers,” I shot back.

  Maya sighed, concern wrinkling her brow. “They’ll come around.”

  “Cameron won’t,” I said.

  I knew Cameron. He was the strong and silent type, committed to his emotions. He held grudges like no one I’d ever met. Getting him to reconcile with my parents was an uphill battle I had no chance of ever winning. When he loved, he loved deeply. Ultimately, no amount of time or reckless behavior could change how he felt about Maya. Whatever conclusions he’d drawn about my crazy relationship with Will and Ian last night would likely stand the test of time.

  I held out more hope for Darren, whose flash of anger could potentially burn out over time. Ian had saved his life, after all. That persistent reminder might eventually break him down. At least I hoped it would.

  Eli cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to him. “Can I just ask what everyone wants to know?”