Over the Edge: The Bridge Series: Book Three

by Meredith Wild

  “Will—”

  “The thought of you going through what you went through last night alone is unacceptable to me. I love you. I’m here for you. Whatever you’re working through, I want to be there to help you work through it. Not to mention, I’m trying to figure out a few things out too.”

  She sighed softly. “Fine. I’ll take care of what I need to here first though.”

  “Whatever you need to do. Also, I’m going to hire movers this week to help you get the rest of your things to the penthouse. I want you with me. Every night.”

  “What about Ian?”

  What about Ian… God, we had to tell him sometime, and I wasn’t looking forward to it one bit. I’d barely had a chance to wrap my head around her being pregnant myself. I was so busy getting her to calm down last night, I hadn’t spent much time thinking about how Ian would receive the news.

  “We have to tell him. The sooner the better, I imagine. He won’t like to think he was kept in the dark for very long.”

  “You’re right.” She exhaled heavily. “Maybe tonight. If I can work up the courage.” I heard her mutter a curse.

  “We’ll tell him together. It’ll be okay.”

  As I reassured her, I worried that Ian might not adjust to the news as well as I hoped he would. I tried to imagine if our positions were reversed. Imagining it, however briefly, reinforced how grateful I was that I’d been the one who fucked up.

  “Olivia.”

  “What?”

  “Last night, when I told you I was sorry… I am sorry that I violated your trust. You didn’t want or ask for this. But now that we’re here, I want you to know that I’m not sorry about it. It’s not what either of us expected, but I’m glad it’s with you. I’m ready to take this journey with you.”

  She sniffed and sighed quietly on the other end of the phone. “I’m feeling more ready too. Meeting the baby today put things into perspective for me. I think I’m more ready for this than I thought.”

  I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on the phone. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, and remind her how much I loved her.

  “I love you, Olivia.”

  “I love you too.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  IAN

  I checked the empanadas in the oven and set the table for dinner. Will was at work all day, and Liv was busy at her place, prepping meals and getting things tidy for when her brother and sister-in-law came home with the baby in a couple of days.

  I wanted to surprise her with a dinner at home. Even though my schedule was a bit erratic, we’d settled into a routine that seemed to give each of us the time we needed. I had no idea how it worked, but it did. Seeing her and spending a little time with her every day made the world feel right, no matter what shit I had to face at work.

  Liv came through the door first. Her eyes were tired, and her body seemed to tense a little when she saw me.

  “Hey, baby. Everything okay?” I went to her and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips.

  She kissed me back, taking our kiss from chaste to passionate quickly.

  “Hello to you too,” I teased in a velvet tone when we broke apart.

  With a small smile, she softened in my arms. “You made dinner?”

  I glanced back to the mess I’d made in the kitchen. “Yeah, it’ll be ready in a few minutes. Should be good by the time Will gets home.”

  She tensed a little again. Then she stepped out of my embrace and began cleaning up. Even though I’d grown used to our easy silences, something felt uncomfortable about this one. I’d expected her to be all smiles and energy about her brother’s baby, but maybe something else had happened today that was throwing her off.

  I didn’t push her about it, but when Will walked through the door, they shared a look that gave me pause.

  Will masked it quickly, carrying himself into the room casually. “Smells great. Thanks, Ian.”

  “No problem,” I said, trying to shake off the edgy feeling.

  Dinner carried on fine. I talked a little about work, as did Will. Business as usual, and things were going well with the fund for the most part. Thank goodness, since Will had committed himself to it so completely.

  But when the conversation shifted to Liv’s new nephew, she began to tear up. Normal, I told myself. Babies inspired emotions in women that I’d likely never understand.

  Then she looked to Will, and a fresh wave of worry came over me. Something wasn’t right.

  She swallowed hard and dropped her fork on the table. “We need to talk to you, Ian.”

  The worry grew, spreading cold down my limbs.

  “What’s going on?”

  She chewed relentlessly on her lip and stared silently at the table.

  “Liv, talk to me. What is it?”

  Finally, she lifted her tearful gaze to mine. “Ian, I’m pregnant. Please don’t be angry.”

  Time seemed to stand still while my brain stuttered, struggling to catch up with what that truly meant.

  Pregnant? She’d been with both of us. But I’d always been safe. I’d never been with a woman without protection. It wasn’t worth the risk, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready for fatherhood.

  “How?”

  Will spoke up, his expression rigid, like he was bracing himself. “It’s my fault.”

  All I could hear was my heart beating furiously. The breath seemed to squeeze out of my chest as I absorbed his admission. I stared at him in disbelief.

  “You did this?”

  Suddenly, every overprotective and insanely possessive thought I’d ever had about sharing Liv with another man forced into the forefront of my mind.

  I’d been willing to fight for her at every turn, but ultimately, I’d bought into the notion that we could, truly, both be in her life in a healthy way. How could I have been so fucking wrong?

  Will avoided my gaze, betraying his discomfort. “I was careless. She didn’t know.”

  She didn’t know… That meant he’d fucked her bare without thinking of the consequences. She’d told me she wasn’t on birth control. Had he known? Had he taken her the way he wanted to anyway? Suddenly I wanted to fucking throttle him.

  I pushed up from the table and came to him. “You couldn’t have her to yourself so you had to knock her up?”

  He rose to stand, his stance and his shoulders wide and defensive. “That’s not what happened.”

  A fierce jealousy tore through me, and I tightened my fists. “How could you do this to her? To us?”

  “I wasn’t thinking straight. It’s no excuse, but that’s how it happened.”

  “You weren’t thinking? You think I believe that for one second? You could get your dick hard, but you couldn’t think about covering it up to protect her?”

  “It was the middle of the night—”

  “Bullshit!” I shoved my finger at him. “You’re a fucking cheat, like your father.”

  He narrowed his eyes. Rage and a searing pain sent a rush of adrenaline to my muscles. Before I could talk myself out of it, I lunged for him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. I pushed him across the room and slammed him against the wall.

  “How could you do this to her?” I seethed through gritted teeth.

  His face twisted into a grimace, and he shoved me back hard. I came back, ready to wind up and knock the living shit out of him, when Liv’s voice rang out.

  “Ian, don’t!” She was suddenly beside me, a dangerous place to be. She circled my wrist, halting my advance on Will.

  She wasn’t strong enough to hold me back, but she had the power to pull me out of my emotions long enough to consider what I was doing. I looked over to her, feeling wild with rage.

  Slowly, she moved between us. Placing her hands on my chest, she stilled me. But my heart wouldn’t slow, and nothing she could say would lessen the hatred I felt for Will right now.

  “Please don’t fight. I know it’s a lot to take in. It’s going to be okay though,” she whispered in a watery voice, pressing her forehead agains
t my chest.

  Her touch hurt. Everything fucking ached inside me right now.

  I took a step away, sparing Will the physical punishment he sorely deserved.

  I didn’t know what to say. My hands wanted to do the talking. The urge to dole out justice was fierce. I had to get away from everyone before I did something truly stupid.

  Without another word, I left the room and headed toward mine. I sat on the bed and let my head fall into my shaking hands.

  She was pregnant. With Will’s baby.

  The pain was so raw, lancing through me. The anger singed like fire through my veins.

  Liv was there a moment later, standing before me. She stroked my cheek and squeezed my shoulder, as if she could ease what had my body strung tight like a bow.

  When I looked up, I saw my pain reflected in her vibrant eyes—two blue diamonds. Priceless, perfect, and slowly slipping out of reach.

  “Why, Liv?”

  I knew she didn’t have the answer, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking for it.

  Why now, when I’d fallen so hard? I’d allowed Will into my social life as an assurance that any relationship would be impossible. Then stupidly, I’d fallen in love, and here we were. We wouldn’t get past this. I couldn’t.

  “It was an accident. This is my fault too.”

  I shook my head, unwilling to believe it. “It’s not.”

  “I know you’re angry, but it’s not the end of the world. I was devastated when I found out, yes. But I’m coming to terms, and you will too. We can get through this. I know we can.”

  I rose, stepped away from her painful touch, and paced the room.

  “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to share you? To let him have any part of you when I want you for myself?”

  “This hasn’t been easy for any of us.”

  “That’s because we’re trying to make something work that’s impossible!” I shouted, overwhelmed with the reality I was now facing.

  More tears rimmed her eyes. “I can’t let myself believe that,” she said quietly.

  The fire of my rage dulled enough to go to her. I caged her against me, willing my heart to slow down. Willing the anger and resentment away, knowing ultimately it was tearing us both apart.

  Slowly I caressed down her arms and over her silken skin. She was as soft and intoxicating as the first time I’d touched her. But so much had changed. I grazed my hand over her flat belly, where Will’s child was growing. Now we’d never be the same.

  I fought back an albatross of emotion. I’d spent half my life taking every measure to ensure I never became a father. I didn’t know what came over me now to change that, but if given the choice, I would have traded places with Will in a heartbeat. I would have given anything in that moment to be the one she was bound to, to know she was carrying that life for me.

  She sighed against me and held me back, a mirror of deep love and trust. I held her tighter, overwhelmed with what I felt for this woman.

  “I wish it were me, Liv. I wish I’d been the selfish one.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. But in that moment, I knew I’d never hold her again this way…

  I pulled away. The physical separation cut through me like a hot blade. I went to my closet to retrieve the large duffle and started throwing clothes into it. I hadn’t ever planned to stay with Will long, so my belongings here were few. The rest were with my family until I found a place to land. This would be over quickly. Had to be, because I could scarcely breathe. Had to get out of here.

  “Ian, don’t leave.”

  Liv was frozen where I’d left her. Her tears gutted me, as did the pain in her voice. I hated Will for what this was doing to her, but I couldn’t sit here and watch this play out.

  I swallowed over the knot in my throat. “I can’t stay here.”

  I threw the last of my things into the bag and zipped it up. Then I went to her, knowing I had to say good-bye.

  “Please, Ian. You don’t have to do this.” Her voice wavered, and she came to me, fisting her hands into my shirt.

  Still, I fought the urge to drop the bag and give her everything she wanted. Acceptance, forgiveness for what Will had done, a promise that we’d find a way through this mess. Instead, I fell deeper into my pain, a journey I’d grown used to over time.

  “I should have never stayed, Liv. Your first night at Will’s should have been my last. This was a mistake.”

  The words fell cold between us. I forced myself to believe it. If I hadn’t stayed and become so entangled with her, I could have saved us both the pain we were feeling now.

  She shook her head against me. “Don’t say that.”

  I lifted her chin and touched my lips gently to hers. She brought her arms around my neck and kissed me hard. I fell into it, returning her passion with all of mine. I was obsessed with her taste, the way she seemed to live inside me when we were this close. She moaned, and I almost lost all control. But I couldn’t.

  I broke away and gazed into her eyes. Pain lingered, but love and desire washed across her beautiful features.

  “I love you, Liv.” My fingers slipped away. “But I have to go.”

  She wasn’t mine anymore.

  OLIVIA

  I knocked before entering Maya’s and Cameron’s upstairs apartment. I found Maya and Vanessa in the living room sitting beside each other on the couch. Aidan was nestled against Maya’s chest.

  Vanessa brightened when I joined them. “Hey, lady. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been staying with Will. He’s in the penthouse above the new gym. I’m probably going to be there full time in another week or two.”

  “Wow, that’s great. I’m jealous.”

  I laughed lightly. She wouldn’t be jealous if she knew what a mess my life was right now. I dropped onto the adjacent couch, my limbs heavy with grief. I was perpetually exhausted, likely from the hormones that were taking over my body. But no doubt too from endlessly wondering how I could have done things differently.

  Ian had given up on us, and it weighed on me like nothing ever had. I called him every day, sometimes more than once. I left voice mails and sent texts, but his silence was crushing. Nothing felt right.

  I wasn’t alone, but my heart had broken on the fault line between the love I had for Will and Ian. I didn’t feel whole. And until he changed his mind, I worried that nothing would ever be the same for me.

  “You want to hold him?” Maya passed the baby into Vanessa’s eager arms before standing. “Now that you’re both here, I’m going to take a quick shower if you don’t mind.”

  Maya left us, and Vanessa cooed and clucked at the baby, seemingly as enamored with him as I had been. “Can you believe how fast our family is growing?”

  In another year, our family would be even bigger. Little did she know…

  “It’s hard to believe,” I said. “A couple years ago, I would have never imagined Cameron being a dad, but now I can’t imagine it any other way. He’s a natural.”

  “Darren’s so ready.”

  The Darren I’d once known had seemed about as interested in parenthood as he had been in marriage. Then everything changed. He was nearly unrecognizable now. Some people really could change. Then I thought about Ian, and my heart broke a little more.

  “I know he’ll be a great dad when the time comes.” I rose and sat beside her to admire the baby too.

  Vanessa took the hint and passed him to me. My heart did a little happy dance having him in my arms again.

  She leaned back with a sigh. “We won’t have to wait too much longer to find out.”

  I turned and caught the glimmer of excitement in her green-eyed gaze. She lifted her shoulders slightly.

  “We’re expecting,” she whispered with a smile.

  “You’re kidding me.”

  She shook her head. “I just found out this week. I was trying to wait, but of course Darren wasn’t. We weren’t being super careful about not getting pregnant, so I guess that mea
nt it was time.”

  “Does Maya know?”

  “I haven’t told her. I don’t want to distract her right now. She’s got another nine months to be excited for me.”

  “That’s so amazing.” I stared back down into Aidan’s perfect little face with a smile. “You’re going to have some good company soon, little man.”

  The quick succession of sucks on his pacifier seemed acknowledgement enough. I couldn’t help the happiness I felt for Vanessa and my brother. This was incredible news.

  Vanessa’s reasons for not sharing her news right now made sense. But when would I find the courage to tell my family? Then I remembered that I’d made a vow not so long ago. No hiding, no regrets.

  Maybe Vanessa would be a good person to hear it first.

  “This is probably going to sound crazy, but I am too.”

  Her hand went to her mouth. “Oh my God, you’re pregnant?”

  I nodded with a tentative smile. “I guess we weren’t being too careful either. I just found out.”

  Then her lips moved, but no words came, and somehow I knew what she was trying to ask.

  “It’s Will’s.”

  “Oh.” She blinked a few times and clipped her bottom lip between her teeth. “How’s Ian taking it?”

  I sighed as a new wave of sadness settled over me like a dark cloud. “Not very well. He left. I haven’t heard from him since.”

  I smoothed my hand over Aidan’s fuzzy head and kissed him lightly on the nose. Because he brightened everything up. And when I held my own baby in my arms, hopefully he or she would chase away the sorrow that was heavy in my heart now.

  “I’m sure he’ll come around,” Vanessa offered, touching my arm gently.

  I didn’t reply because I didn’t really believe he would. I’d keep trying, but the way he’d said good-bye, the pain in his eyes… I was certain we were over.

  Chapter Nineteen

  WILL

  I hunched over my desk, sifting through papers that Adriana had left for me to review. Trying to work ahead had me feeling like I was falling behind. I had a trip to London coming up soon to discuss a promising investment, but leaving Olivia alone right now seemed impossible. Fucking Ian.