Found in Understanding: Refuge Series Book Three

by Debbie Zello

  “Who is he?” I ask her.

  “That’s Ray. Remember I told you about him,” she said giving me a signal with her eyes. Then I remembered our conversation when she was crying. “That’s right girlfriend…Ray.”

  “Don’t touch me you…bad person,” I said. As soon as I said it, I felt stupid. I don’t know what to call someone that sleeps with you and then gloats.

  “I’ve been called worse, baby. It looked like you wanted to have a good time. I was going to help you with that,” he slurred.

  “You thought wrong,” I said walking back to our table. The girls followed me back. I sat through Ashley’s explanation of who Ray was. Then I got up to use the restroom. I wanted to go back to my room desperately. I’m not a party girl, sorry to say.

  I took my time in the bathroom. I was trying to figure out how I could suggest we leave. I want to go back and write to Sky. I want to reread the letter he had just sent to me. I needed my hideaway.

  I dried my eyes, washed my hands, and then opened the door to leave. “What are you doing here?” he said as I looked into his deep-blue eyes.

  “I was using the rest room.”

  “What are you doing in this bar? I know you aren’t twenty-one. How did you get in?” Royce Kane asked. Every hair on my body stood up. I was less than a foot away from him and he smelled soap and leather. His face was passive. He wasn’t angry, just asking.

  “I have a fake ID like every other college student. I’m sure you had one too.” He smiled.

  “I suppose I did. It didn’t look like you enjoyed the beer. Or the guy that was pawing you.”

  “I suppose you’re right, I didn’t,” I said looking down. I wanted him to touch me the way Ray did. Just grab me and hold me.

  “I was just leaving if you want a ride back to your dorm,” he said.

  “Is that allowed?” I asked looking back into his eyes.

  “Not usually. But under the circumstances, it will be fine. Say good-bye to your friends and I’ll meet you outside.”

  “How will I find you?” I said.

  “You’ll find me,” he said, turning and walking away. I made it uninterrupted back to the table and took my coat and purse.

  “Where are you going?” Emma asked.

  “I found a ride back to the dorm. I’ve had enough for my first night out. I’m sorry to bail on you, but I’m tired,” I said.

  “Okay. As long as you’re okay,” Crystal said.

  “I’m good. Have fun and don’t stay out too late,” I said smiling.

  “Yes, mom,” Ashley said.

  I walked out to the front and looked around for Royce. There was a sleek cherry black Harley parked at the curb. The streetlights bounced off the chrome and paint like fireflies. Sitting on the seat was Royce. “Ever ridden before?” he asked.

  “Yes, but nothing like this. What is it?” I asked in awe.

  “‘82 FXR Superglide. It was my father’s. When he stopped riding, he gave it to me,” he said proudly.

  “Some people have all the luck. I don’t want to insult you by saying it’s beautiful…but it is!”

  “Get on and I’ll take you home,” he said standing it up and starting it. It purred to life and the ground under my feet rumbled. How I love that sound and feeling. He handed me a brain-bucket and tied a do rag around his head. I swung my leg over the seat and settled my legs around him. Leaning in I circled my arms at his waist. I had all I could do not to rest my cheek on his back.

  He dropped it into gear, looked in his mirrors and glided away. When I walked to the bar, I was glad it was so close. Now that I’m riding this sweet thing behind this sweet man, I wish it was further away. “Which dorm?” he asked.

  “Stiles!” I yelled, over the engine. He pulled up to the curb in front and killed the engine. I got off and handed him his helmet. “Thank you for the ride. I didn’t know how I was going to get out of there.”

  “You’re welcome. Stay out of the bars. It’s not your thing, Neomi. I’ll wait here until you get inside. Good night.”

  “Good night,” I said walking away. When I got to the door, I heard him start the engine. I didn’t look back because I didn’t have a right to. He wasn’t mine as much as I wanted to explore that possibility. He was a man with his master’s degree and close to his doctorate. I’m a freshman with no prospects.

  October gave way to November. Everyone was excited to go home for Thanksgiving; that is, everyone but me. I said nothing as they clattered on about what their mom was making. I missed mine so much. The letters from home kept coming with the retelling of Sky’s escapades or some other interesting story. I longed to sit at our evening fire and discuss the day.

  My suitemates went out every weekend without me. I was tired so it wasn’t a lie. Working twenty hours a week and keeping my average up was enough of a good time for me anyway.

  The day before the holiday, I was in the main library using the computer to do a search for my history paper. It was so quiet with only me and a few foreign students that didn’t beg for an invitation to someone’s house. My girls asked but I loved the idea of having the whole place to myself for five days.

  From behind me, I heard. “You’re not going home for Thanksgiving?” I turned around and saw Royce standing near with an arm full of books.

  “No. How about you?”

  “No, too much work to do,” he said, lifting the books for me to see.

  “I’d offer to help but that would be fraternizing and against school policy,” I said, smiling.

  “Helping isn’t against any policy. Being in my apartment helping is.”

  “Okay. Need some help?” I watch his face as several different thoughts pass over him. I think he’s looking into the future to see if it’s a good idea or not.

  “What are you working on?”

  “Sparta. I’m sort of over swords and shields.”

  “How do you feel about Jane Austen? I’m going to watch Sense and Sensibility for the tenth time.”

  “I simply love her. We have a huge TV in our TV room with a DVD player. I can make popcorn.”

  “Sold. Give me an hour. See if you can round up at least one more person so we have a chaperone.”

  “We need a chaperone? We’ll be in a public room where anyone could walk in.”

  “I would feel better if you can find someone. Both of us have a lot to lose, Neomi, should someone want to make trouble for either of us.”

  Jeremy was playing pool, alone, when I walked into the TV room. “Hey!” I said excitedly.

  “Hey, yourself. You didn’t go home for Thanksgiving?” he said.

  “No, too far for such a short time. You didn’t go either?”

  “Nope, Alaska, remember?”

  “Sorry, that’s right. You’re in the same boat I’m in. Want to watch a movie with me? I’m making popcorn.”

  “What movie?”

  “Sense and Sensibility,” I say watching his face.

  “English Lit, right?” he said smiling.

  “Yes. Sorry.”

  “I’ll watch it if you watch one of mine Friday or Saturday night.”

  “Deal. I’ll be right back with the popcorn and soda.”

  Chapter Nine

  I felt bad because I didn’t tell him Royce was going to watch the movie too. I like Jeremy but not in a boyfriend way, just as a friend. I have a feeling he might want more.

  By the time, I got back downstairs, Royce was sitting on the couch. It was almost too perfect because he and Jeremy had already introduced themselves to each other and were talking. I didn’t have to say a thing. I passed out the bags of popcorn and soda. Then I took a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Royce, folding my legs under me.

  It doesn’t matter how many times I see this movie; I always find something that escaped me the time before. A line or something in the background of a scene. It’s always new and different. I cry at the same parts even though I know they’re coming. I smile at how reticent they are and yet I�
�m very similarly reserved.

  The End and I’m crushed, I want more. “That was riveting.” Jeremy said, laughing.

  “No it wasn’t. It was lovely.” I say, smiling.

  “It was British. Neither riveting nor lovely. More like typical. It’s a period piece about traditionalism and eccentricity. But I admit it’s one of my favorites,” Royce said, smiling at me.

  “Well, I’m going back to my room to play a video game and get the charming Miss Dashwoods out of my head,” Jeremy said, standing. “Good night and remember the deal!”

  “How could I forget? Let me know which night is better for you.”

  “Will do. It was nice to meet you Royce. Stop by and we can play pool.”

  “Sounds good, Jeremy. Good luck with the game.” Jeremy walked out and Royce’s eyes settled on me. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “We got an e-mail that said for those of us that weren’t going home for the weekend the cafeteria would be open. I’m just going to go there.”

  “I’ve been invited to a friends for dinner. If you’d like to come, I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

  “I don’t think that is a good idea.”

  “Probably not, but I’ve already crossed two lines, so one more won’t matter,” he said softly.

  “Thank you but I’m staying here. So far, we’ve done nothing wrong and I want to keep it that way,” I said seriously. He took a deep breath and smiled.

  “The student teaching the teacher. Very well, Miss Dillon. I’ll say good night and I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving.” he said, getting up.

  “You too. Good night.” I said watching him walk out.

  There were eighteen of us for Thanksgiving dinner. We were an interesting mixture of European, African, South American and one Canadian. Jeremy, Carla and I were the only Americans that didn’t go home. Carla is from Washington State and felt much the same as Jeremy and me. A day to get home and a day to get back, jet lag, it wasn’t a long enough break. We have four weeks at Christmas. That’s what I was saving my tip money for, my ticket home.

  Dinner was great with all the usual dishes. We gave a standing ovation to the staff for giving up their day to cook for us. It was so quiet in my suite. I got way ahead on my papers and reading. The next four weeks until the end of term would be a breeze.

  Jeremy didn’t come and get me for our movie deal. I did see a taxi pull up and a staggering man get out and walk with great difficulty into the building. I’m pretty sure it was Jeremy. That would explain his absence.

  My suite-mates came back Sunday at different times. By bedtime, I had heard all of their adventures and relived all of their dinners. It was back to work for them tomorrow.

  Paul walked over to me and said, “Are you going home for the Christmas break?”

  “I thought I might but that will leave you shorthanded, won’t it?”

  “Yeah, it will. No one wants to work the early shift. Laura has kids to get off to school. The kids in high school don’t want to get up that early. And you won’t be back until the end of January. I don’t know what I’ll do.”

  “I don’t have to go. It’s okay. I don’t want to lose this job. I like working here and I need the money,” I said, trying to smile. I did want to go home.

  “I’ll work on it and see if I can convince anyone. Christmas week isn’t the problem—it’s after the new year. When everyone else goes back to school.”

  “My classes finish on the twenty-second. If I left and came back for the second of January, would that be good for you?”

  “I could deal with that. Thank you.”

  “Okay, you’re welcome,” I said. Now I have to find somewhere to live for the few weeks before classes begin. We had to move out of the dorms for the entire break and couldn’t move back in until the weekend before classes started.

  I printed up index cards and pinned them to every message board I pass all over the campus.

  I need a place to stay for the three weeks between January 1st and when classes begin. I’ll take a couch or a mattress on the floor, anything. If you can help please call Neomi at 760-944-4444.

  Over the next few days, I got a wide variety of phone calls. Mostly guys that offer me the spot next to, under, or over them. Thanks but no thanks. Not that I’m averse to rooming with a guy. At this point, it’s preferable to being homeless. I looked into rooms at an extended stay hotel but the cost would break me.

  I walk into English Lit on Friday and take my seat. Everyone files in with the last being Mr. Kane. He looks at me and said, “Miss Dillon, will you see me after class, please?”

  “Yes, of course, Mr. Kane.” I answer, curious as to what he might want.

  “We begin today with The Beggar’s Opera. I assume that all of you have read it. Probably in the last half hour if I remember being a student properly,” Professor Miller said, jokingly. “What did you think of it?” I raised my hand timidly. “Ah yes, Miss Dillon. I can’t wait to hear your critique.”

  “I liked it, very much. I think it resonates with today’s society in that it is about ordinary people. It was satirical lampooning of the more famous Italian operas, in its purest form and it is amusing. It deals with politics, poverty, and injustice without depressing you. The music was familiar and the average population knew the songs and could sing along. I thought John Gay wrote a marvelous and thought provoking social masterpiece.”

  “And you didn’t disappoint, Miss Dillon. That is exactly what it was.” Professor Miller said, proudly. I caught Royce’s smile as he looked down at his computer screen.

  I waited until everyone had made their way out the door before I went down to talk to Royce. “You did well today, Miss Dillon. That is one of Miller’s favorite plays. What you said will go a long way in his opinion of you. I smell an A coming on.”

  “Good, I need it. Celestial bodies are kicking my butt.”

  “Why is that?” he said.

  “I can’t bring myself to think about Uranus,” I said, bursting out laughing. “You walked right into that one!”

  “So I did,” he said laughing too. “You have a lovely laugh and a beautiful smile.” I looked around quickly to make sure no one could hear him.

  “You shouldn’t say things like that. You could be overheard and taken out of context.”

  “That’s true. Still doesn’t mean that I don’t mean it.”

  “What did you need from me?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.

  “I found this,” he said holding my index card. “Is this you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought you were going home for the break. What happened?”

  “I’m going until January second. The coffee shop that I work at can’t fill my shift. I don’t want to lose my job.” I explain.

  “You work and maintain an A average?” he seemed shocked.

  “Yes. A lot of people do.”

  Royce shakes his head. “I have a two-bedroom apartment. My roommate is going home for the break. He’s paid his portion of the rent already. I’ll ask him, but I’m sure he won’t mind you sleeping in his bed for the three weeks. Especially if I tell him, you’ll clean the room.”

  “Once again I appreciate the offer but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “You’ve had better offers?”

  “Better? No. I’m going to see if I can sleep in the booth at the shop. Then I just have to figure out where I can shower.”

  “Stay with me, Neomi. Nothing will happen, I promise you. I’m going to be very busy with research and I won’t even be home much. You’ll have the place all to yourself.”

  “You like taking chances, don’t you? The bike isn’t just your ride. It’s in your blood.”

  “You have no idea, Neomi. And I don’t intend to tell you either,” Royce said smirking.

  I brought my extra things that I wasn’t taking home over to Royce’s apartment. He gave me the tour and an extra key. I only have a few blocks extra to walk to work. I love the c
loseness of everything here.

  Royce walks me out to take me to the train station. It has begun to snow. My first snow. I lift my face so the flakes fall on my eyes and nose. I breathe in the fresh air, as the white flakes seem to wash it clean.

  Royce is standing in front of me. I open my eyes to look at him. The snowflakes stick to my lashes and I smile. “Oh, my God,” he said.

  “What’s the matter?” I say, looking at his expression. A mixture of fear and awe.

  “You’re just so…never mind…” he said, shaking his head to lose the thought.

  Chapter Ten

  The closer I got to the ranch, the calmer I felt. Even just the thought of it took my stress away. If I’m having a bad day, a few minutes with my eyes closed, my mind goes there and I’m better.

  I was pretty far back in the plane so it took a few minutes after the door opened for me to get out. It was my first plane ride and although it had been exciting, I was glad it was over.

  As soon as I cleared the walkway, I saw my mom, dad and Sky waiting for me. I couldn’t help the tears that began to fall. I knew I missed them but I hadn’t realized just how much until that moment. My mom folded her arms around me and said, “Hey pretty girl, you look so different. You’re all citified.”

  “You look the same, mom. You look like home.”

  “Come here, sweet girl. I’ve missed you,” my dad said. I wrapped my arms around him as he squeezed me. I peeked up at Sky and he winked at me. I left my father’s arms to go into Sky’s.

  Sky held my head to his chest with his arm around my shoulders. “It’s good to have you home, Firelight. I didn’t have anyone to argue with and I was getting bored.”

  “Really! That’s all I’m good for is an argument?”

  “I rest my case,” he said laughing.

  My mom and I took the back seat in the truck for the ride to the ranch. Everyone caught me up on the local news and I told them about my first semester. I left out my one trip to the bar and the fact I’m staying in an apartment alone with my professor’s TA. Everyone has some secrets…right?