Found in Understanding: Refuge Series Book Three

by Debbie Zello

  The doorbell rang and I sprinted to open the door. Understanding swooped in picking me up and kissing me soundly. I licked his kiss from my lips as he set me on my feet. “What is that for?” he said smiling.

  “What?”

  “You licked your lips. Are you planning to devour me tonight?”

  “I might be. Would you object?” I said querulously.

  “Object? No! But what kind of monster have I created, I wonder,” he said with a smirk.

  “Monster! You weren’t complaining over the weekend!” I said feigning anger.

  “And I’m not complaining now. Perhaps monster is the wrong word. Maybe sex fiend is more like it,” he said grabbing me. “I happen to love sex fiends, actually.”

  “Maybe we’ll refrain from any activity and lessen the chance of my falling further into the abyss of deviancy,” I said petulantly.

  He opened the door and walked out. The doorbell rang a second later. I opened the door and he swooped in picking me up and kissing me soundly.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Starting over. I missed you today. You and something else smells wonderful. How was your day?” I smiled as I thought that once again his name suits him.

  He sat next to me with our legs touching under the table. I had made a pot roast with root vegetables in red wine gravy. His moans as he ate it pleased me. I liked cooking for him. I felt part of a family again. My hand went to my hip in remembrance.

  “What are you thinking about right now?” he asked moving his hand over mine.

  “How ordinary and completely lovely it is to sit here with you. I feel happy and I like the feeling,” I explained.

  “Yesterday afternoon, when we were making love, I was staring at your face. You left me for a few seconds, didn’t you? You went somewhere. Your eyes were vacant and you didn’t see me anymore. Please tell me what happened.”

  I got up from the table and took my plate to the sink. I began to fill the sink to wash the dishes. He waited a few minutes and brought his dish to me. He held my arms by my side and wrapped me up in his. “You were thinking about Royce, weren’t you? It’s okay if that’s what it was. Just tell me you weren’t picturing him making love to you.”

  “I feel guilty. I’m here doing that with someone else. We never got the chance to. And he never will again. I have a hard time being this happy when I know he’s gone,” I said, the tears slipping down my cheeks. “I held his hand while it got cold. I felt his warmth slip away. He was so special, smart and talented. It’s such a waste to lose him.” I turned in his arms to face him. “I wasn’t picturing him making love to me. I knew who was holding me.”

  “I’ve never lost someone I loved like that, Firelight. I have no idea how bad it hurts. I know that if something were to happen to you, I would carry that pain for a long time. I understand your sorrow. He loved you too and I believe he would want you to remember him but not to have it rule your life.”

  “I tell myself that all the time. I’m sorry if I upset you. I don’t want you to worry about my feelings for you. I do love you. If I didn’t, I never would have slept with you,” I said placing my hands flat on his chest.

  “Says the woman that was still a virgin at twenty-one. I think I can take that one on faith. I know you love me. I also know that you still love him. I think once you love, you love forever. It’s your gift as well as your curse.”

  “You know me so well.”

  Friday night was supposed to be a surprise for me. Understanding told me to pack an overnight bag and to be ready by two in the afternoon. We were going somewhere and wouldn’t be back until Sunday morning. He was working but would have time to spend with me. All very cryptic if you ask me, but I did as I was told anyway.

  I was waiting outside with my bag as he drove up. He got out with his usual smile at seeing me. He had such a heart-melting, swoon-worthy smile.

  “Eager, Miss Dillon, that’s good. We’re going to have fun this weekend. Are you ready for that?”

  “I am. Now where exactly are we going?” I said handing him my bag. He opened his trunk and placed it next to his. I noticed he had a garment bag. “Was I supposed to bring dress clothes? I packed dress pants and blouses but I didn’t bring a dress.”

  “I need the suits to conceal my gun. I am working, remember?” he said opening my door. I got in and buckled my seat belt.

  “Are you going to tell me where we are going?” I said with a humph.

  “To Mohegan Sun. I’m working security for a concert tonight. Then we’re staying to have some fun tomorrow night. When we get back Sunday, I’ll help you move back into the dorm,” he said pulling away from the curb.

  “Who is the concert with?”

  “Josh Groban. Have you heard of him?” he said looking at me.

  “Yes, I have. He has a beautiful voice. I like his duet with Celine Dion, The Prayer.”

  “Well, you have a front row seat and a back stage pass for before and after the show. I have to make sure his Grobanites don’t get too close to him.”

  “I don’t want them grabbing your butt either.”

  “They don’t want to grab my butt. His is the one that’s in danger of molestation.”

  “I want to grab your butt myself,” I said peeking sideways. He ran his fingers down my cheek.

  “That can be arranged. In fact, you can count on it,” he said, with a chuckle.

  The traffic was heavy the entire drive to the casino. Labor Day weekend was in full force. The line of cars driving into the parking lot was long and moved slowly. We got to the valet parking and hurried in to be registered. Understanding had to be in the concert hall for four o’clock for the sound check. There were some fans that had special tickets to watch the whole proceeding.

  I followed our bags, along with a bellman, to the room. He swung open the door to allow me to enter it first. There was a living room with large beautiful windows that looked out over the surrounding hills. The bedroom was off to the right with a giant king-sized bed. This was the first hotel room I had ever seen. I gave him the tip that Understanding had given me before he left to work. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “You’re welcome and thank you for the help.”

  “I hope you enjoy your stay,” the bellhop responded as he left.

  “I’m sure I will.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I was in the whirlpool bathtub soaking in giant bubbles when Understanding came back. “You look comfortable,” he said laughing.

  “I am. Care to join me?” I made certain to flash my smile toward him.

  “I wish I could but duty calls. I left your tickets on the table in the other room. Order room service for dinner. The backstage pass is for six-thirty and the concert is at eight. I’ll be around but I won’t be able to spend any time with you until Josh leaves. His next concert is in Tanglewood, Massachusetts, with the Boston Pops. I’m sure he’ll be gone by midnight.”

  “Have you met him yet?” I was curious.

  “Yes. He’s very funny. He’s cracking jokes with quick, snappy comebacks. I’m impressed. He’s down to earth and not a divo at all.”

  “I can’t wait to see him. Where are you eating?”

  “They have food around, sandwiches and such. Don’t worry about me. You look so beautiful in all those bubbles,” he said smiling.

  “Why thank you, good sir. You look all handsome and professional in your suit,” I said smacking my lips.

  He growled. “Did you notice the fancy recliner out there?” he said pointing towards the living room.

  “I was sitting in it. It’s very comfortable.” Again, I flashed a smile.

  “It should be for what it’s used for,” he said looking smug.

  “What’s it used for?”

  “It’s called a Tantra Chair. I had it brought in for us, special request.”

  “What does it do?”

  “You’ll see…after midnight,” he raised his eyebrows, as if he was up to no good. “I h
ave to go. I’ll see you downstairs.”

  The crowd of people in the room where Josh was greeting them was huge. As a non-paying guest I stood near the back of the area feeling a bit self-conscious that I was even there. Understanding was only a few feet behind him and motioned to me several times to come closer but I stayed planted where I was. I blew him a kiss just as Josh lifted his head and saw me. “Don’t be shy, I won’t bite you,” Josh said motioning me forward. I almost swallowed my tongue.

  “I’m fine here,” I squeaked out.

  “Your boyfriend tells me I have to meet you. So if you won’t come to me, I’ll have to come to you,” he said walking in my direction. Oh legs, don’t give out on me now, I kept saying in my head.

  A few broad steps and I extended my hand to him. “Firelight, um, I mean Neomi Dillon. I’m very happy to meet you, Mr. Groban.”

  “That makes me feel old, thanks. Call me Josh. Did you say Firelight?”

  “It’s a nickname my family gave me,” I explained.

  “It should be a song. Maybe I’ll work on that. I hope you enjoy the concert.”

  “I’m sure I will. I have a front row seat,” I said smiling. I looked up to see Understanding snapping pictures on his phone.

  The concert was amazing. He sang several songs before stopping to have a conversation with his audience. His self-deprecating humor cracked me up. He spoke about the beginning of his career and the wide variety of people he had had the privilege of working with. He took a few audience questions and then went on to finish the performance.

  We were all on our feet by the end. The arena was packed full and I saw some people drying their eyes as he sang, You Raise Me Up. I was a fast convert and couldn’t wait to buy a CD.

  I hung around for an hour or so backstage. I texted Understanding to let him know I was going back to the room. My day had begun at five this morning and I was beat.

  I got back to the room and stripped before lying down under the covers. The room was chilly and I had no idea how to turn down the air-conditioner. I fell asleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow. Sometime during a sweet dream, I felt strong arms pull me against a warm, moist chest. “Don’t wake up, it’s just me,” he whispered.

  “I’m awake. What time is it?”

  “Two thirty. I was talking to the management about future jobs. Josh said to tell you good-bye,” he kissed my neck and back.

  “He’s very talented. I didn’t know he played the drums and piano.”

  “Sounds like I’ve lost you to him. I’ll pack my bags.”

  “Don’t you dare. I think I’m going to keep you around for a while.”

  “Go back to sleep. I love you.”

  “Don’t you want to make love?” I asked.

  “Of course I do, but we’re both tired. I’ll take a rain check for the morning.”

  I woke to the most amazing feeling of my body cocooned next to Understanding. His arm was under my neck and across my chest with his hand on my shoulder. His other arm was around my waist and one leg was scissored between mine. I took a long, deep breath and sighed.

  “That sounds like a happy girl,” he whispered in my ear.

  “I am happy. Sad too, though.”

  “Why, baby?”

  “Because we have one more night together and then it’s back to the chaos and drama of the dorm.”

  “Don’t go back. Move in with me. I want you in my bed,” he said as he nuzzled my ear.

  “Don’t tempt me. I need to keep a clear head here. It’s not fair if you use your sexpertise on me,” I said turning around in his arms. He kissed me groaning in my mouth.

  “I’ll use whatever I have to, to change your mind. We’ll get you a car. You can use my office to study. Say yes.” His hands roamed over my willing flesh.

  “One more year and if you still want me then, I’ll move in with you. I want the time with my girls. How about the weekends with you? Deal?”

  “I don’t like it but I can live with it,” he sulked. Once he settled his hips between mine his mood visibly improved. “Thank you for being my fire and light. Since you came into my life, everything is focused and clear. I know what I want and what I need. I love you with all that I am.”

  “I want to feel you,” I murmured lost in his virility.

  “I’m inside you, baby. Please tell me you can feel me,” he said circling his hips.

  “Oh God, yes, I feel you. I want you to lie on top of me. I want to feel your weight, your skin on mine. I want you closer,” I said pulling his arms to me. He shoved his hand under my butt and flopped on his side taking me with him.

  “You’re too small to hold all of my weight. I’ll crush you. You lie on top of me. Don’t ever ask me to hurt you, because I won’t.”

  We showered and ordered room service. I sat at the table wearing the thick comfy robe provided by the hotel. Understanding had his faded jeans on and no shirt. A few drops of water fell on his chest and my eyes went right to them. “You look hungry,” he said teasing me.

  “Do I? Actually I’m still quite full.”

  “Even after the morning’s vigorous exercise? I would have thought you had worked up an appetite.”

  “A little. I bet you’re hungry.”

  “Always, especially for you. Did you get a chance to look at the pamphlet for the chair?” he said tilting his head towards it.

  “I didn’t know there was one,” I said getting up and walking over to it. On the end table was a very thick book. I picked it up and opened to the first page.

  The Tantra Chair

  There appeared to be anatomically correct stick figures diagramming out what can best be described as anti-gravitational gymnastics routines in sexual poses. I knew I was late to the romantic playground and severely stunted in the adventure department but some of this defied balance and all known laws of physics.

  I attempted to calm my face into a tranquil façade knowing by looking up at him, he was wearing his ‘all knowing Oz’ look. He had been a patient, gentle and generous teacher but he did love to tease me with my lack of experience. I knew when I spoke I’d have that damn squeak that my voice took on in all of these situations. Another thing he took great pleasure in. The bastard had set me up.

  “So, any questions?” he had the nerve to say. With a nonchalant toss of my head, I smiled.

  “I don’t think so. Looks very self-explanatory. Are we going to do all of this today?” I say thumbing through what had to be one hundred pages with several diagrams on each page.

  “We could try but I’ll need a lot of water,” he said. I knew was baiting me. I would not give him the pleasure.

  “Water? Why?”

  “To stay hydrated. I wouldn’t want to lose so much fluid that I pass out or something.”

  “No, we wouldn’t want that to happen. So how did you find out about this uumm, chair?”

  “I read and do internet searches. It’s amazing what you can find on the internet,” he said as he got up and walked over to me. He was so sexy, the way he swayed and the look on his face.

  I lay back on the chair and fanned myself with the book. He smiled wider as he reached me. He threw his leg over the chair, pulled my legs over his hips facing me. Then he slid down so his hips were touching mine.

  “This way first…because I want to see you. You are the most beautiful, smart and sexy woman in my universe. I love you.”

  “And I love you. You handsome, thoughtful, crazy hunk of a man.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “I love how you blush. It turns me on like nothing else, besides your breasts, and your ass is amazing. Then there’s your…”

  “I get the picture. You’re turned on by everything. Not really news here, Understanding. You’re in for a treat because my mom has blushed like a teenager her whole life. I have a feeling I didn’t fall far from the cranberry bush myself,” I said trying to untangle myself from his legs to stand.

  “I really like this chair. I think I’m going to order one for us
,” he said feeling the leather.

  “Does the stick-figure porn dictionary come with it?” I asked as I walked naked through the room towards the bedroom. I felt his eyes on me and heard a low growl.

  “I may have to pay extra for that with models, contracts and everything.”

  “Make a package deal. We have to have the book,” I yelled, walking into the shower.

  The warm water felt amazing as it ran down my back. I had come so far in the last few months all because of him. I would never have been comfortable being naked before with a man watching me. He made me feel beautiful.

  Royce did too and I’m sure if we had had more time with each other, he would have been patient too. I still thought of him often. Being intimate with Understanding triggered the memories.

  After I dried off, I got dressed while Understanding took his shower. We were both starving having missed lunch with our participation in chair aerobics. We left the room and went down to the casino level to hunt for dinner.

  We decided on Todd English’s Tuscany. We were seated in front of the waterfall. The rocks and water were so rustic and lovely. Kim, our server took our drink order and left us to look over the menu. “What do you feel like?” he asked.

  “Grilled swordfish sounds delicious and a salad,” I said looking over to the water. “What about you?”

  “I’m going with a steak and salad.”

  “Good, I’ll trade you a piece of mine for a piece of yours.” He reached across the table for my hand. His thumb rubbed over my knuckles.

  “Tell me that someday you’ll marry me,” he said sincerely.

  “Where did that come from?”

  “Not an answer. I know you have to finish your degree. I know you want a master and you’re thinking about more. I just want to know if I’m in your equation for the future,” he said. I hated the lost look that was in his eyes. After all he had given me, it killed me to think he doubted my feelings.

  “I love you. I know that without any doubt. I don’t want anyone else. But right now I can’t think about marring you or anyone. Time is all I ask. Time and you.”