by Alan Spencer
"It's almost like high school graduation all over again. Our reunion party will happen, it'll be a blast, things will be promised, but then the next day, everything's different. People have lives. They let their dreams slip away."
Dan hadn't seen Brian talk so seriously about life. The guy was normally all about beer, sex, and laughs; not this philosophical introspection. Dan couldn't stand to hear his friend talk like that much longer.
"What you're saying is with, or without me, you're going to shoot my script, and you want to know if I'm not there with you, that you have my blessing to film Bloody Mask 2?"
"Something like that."
"Yes, you have my blessing. Of course, Brian. But I'm not fucking with you, man. We're shooting this movie. You might be able to plunge right in, because I have to—"
"No, you don't get me, Dan. We're of two minds on the matter. That's not me faulting you. Life is life. We have obligations and responsibilities. What I'm saying is you're either going to tell your dad you have to take more time off work, or you're not going to shoot the movie at all. It's now or never. I'm going to shoot next week.
"I'm not asking you to answer me right this minute. I'm saying after the reunion party, we start casting, getting our shit together, and film another movie. But it has to be now, or I know you'll call me from Virginia and tell me why you can't return to Prudence and shoot this movie. You'll meet another girl, or you'll want to spend time with your kids, or your ex-wife will need something from you, or your dad will need you to work overtime. There's always something to trip us up and get in the way of our dreams. I'm doing this, Dan. With or without you, I'm making this movie."
The vibe of the day was set not only by the graying skies that were promising heavy showers, but by Brian's words. It's like Dan had done something wrong by pursuing a steady paycheck, providing for his children, and doing his best to pay his debts. He hadn't left his dreams by the wayside. Sure, he was only nineteen years old when he shot Bloody Mask, but he did it. He accomplished the dream. What Brian, the guy who wasn't involved on the financial and business side of the matter, didn't realize how poorly Bloody Mask sold on its release. They were also two decades younger when they shot Bloody Mask. There were lots of late nights without food, rest, or money paid for their hard work. And another thing Brian was forgetting, their buddies who worked for free back then weren't so young anymore either. They wouldn't be up for taking a week or two off of work, or being ready at a moment's notice to work hard, and to work for free.
Dan decided he wasn't going to talk to Brian anymore about the movie. This was the last day they had honoring Bloody Mask. The reunion party was going to be a blast, and that's all Dan wanted to focus on. Brian could sulk and cross his arms in the passenger seat as Andy drove them in his van to the next interview all he wanted.
Dan thought about who they were visiting next.
Chad Paulson.
The front man for the band Gash Masters.
Chad Paulson lived in the same neighborhood as Trisha. The man had done well for himself, and Dan wondered what the vocalist for Gash Masters had done with himself. After greeting Chad, who looked hippy business with his t-shirt and khakis shorts and sandals, the man let them set up their equipment in his living room.
"My wife's at work. She's an accountant. Me, I work from home. I own a t-shirt printing shop. Your movie actually inspired the idea. Do you remember Ellen Roth?"
Dan couldn't remember her, nor could Brian.
"She was in a scene in your movie for two seconds. If you go on the message boards for your movie, there's a thread dedicated to Ellen Roth. You see, I had the idea for Ellen to wear a funny shirt in your movie. It would make her stand out more. Me and her were best friends back then. A regular pair of jokers, us. Plus, I had some experience printing shirts with Gash Masters."
"Wait, now I remember," Dan laughed. "Ellen was the one who wore the black shirt that said TWAT across the chest. She had like two lines in the movie."
The light bulb came on in Brian's head. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ellen Roth. She talked about the recent killings to another high school friend in her scene. Everybody was standing outside the high school entrance. Somebody had painted the words BLOODY MASK across the main front window with the dead principal's severed head as a paint brush."
Now Dan was curious. "So you're in the shirt printing business?"
"We have a local shop in town, but we also do funny designs, and we also feature a make your own design on-line. We ship everywhere in the country."
Andy followed them with his camera filming as Chad showed them his basement office.
"This is where I store my backlog of shirts. I have something special for you fellas for inviting me to the reunion party. I'm sad to say Gash Masters broke up a few months after you finished your movie. What can I say, we didn't have the right stuff. The drummer got his girlfriend pregnant, and my bassist lost interest. That left me pretty much on my own. So I said to hell with it. But I kept making shirts based on Gash Masters. I have one for each of you, including you, Andy."
Andy gave them a thumb's up while keeping the camera rolling.
The black t-shirts each had the band name GASH MASTERS in bloody lettering font. Dan's shirt design was a close up of a woman's leg in a black skirt and stockings with blood running down both legs. Brian received the design with a lunatic killer guy shredding a pair of stockings. Behind the killer was the outline of a woman laying in bed covered in blood. Andy had the shirt with that same killer's face up close. The killer had vaginal shaped slashes in each of his eyes.
Chad went on about how his designs allowed people to create, or have him create for them, offensive t-shirt designs. He said he told five hundred shirts just for the "TWAT" design that mimicked Ellen's from the movie. Chad mentioned that shirt's sales had skyrocketed ever since Cult Crushers announced the special Bloody Mask re-release.
Andy redirected the conversation back to the movie. He asked Chad about the scene where he got to play the victim for the impalement scene. Andy urged Chad to be honest about his thoughts and feelings about the production, the script, the effects, and the filmmakers.
"I knew the film was very low budget. Dan and Brian had a lot of energy and enthusiasm. Everybody else involved did too, because we were young, and we were going to be in a real movie. I'll admit when I saw the film, I was disappointed. It looked like a home movie, no offense. And when I saw my death scene, I was confused. I wasn't sure if I'd been impaled on a steel pole, or if the steel pole impaled my junk.
"Brian cut a hole in my jeans so the pole would look like it was driven into my ass, but the angle made it look like my nuts got smashed. And the way the dummy body fell from the tree and landed on the pole, you could tell the body was just clothes stuffed with pillows. Back then, I was embarrassed, but reading the message boards online, I get why people enjoyed this film. It's hilarious, and I'm glad I could be a part of it, and I'm happy Gash Masters had their songs immortalized in Bloody Mask."
Andy had one more interview to conduct. He drove them to Debby's, which wasn't officially open yet. Andy said he paid Debby herself to have access to the place sooner. He asked Dan and Brian if they could help him hang up fliers and posters of Bloody Mask. Debby cleared a section so Andy could roll out a white screen against the wall to project the movie on. Then Andy wanted to interview Brian and Dan again. They were sitting in booth with a pitcher of beer on the table.
Andy asked one question.
"What happened to the original mask from the movie? Cast members said it was lost after the final day of filming."
Dan and Brian each had guesses as to what happened to the mask. The mask was tossed out with items from the production that were ruined from being covered in fake blood. It was either left out in the woods after the cave scene was shot or a cast member could've stolen it.
"I have no recollection of the mask being there, then being gone," Dan said. "The mask just disappeared without any explanation."
Brian said something to the same effect.
Dan and Brian returned home to take showers, change their clothes, and prepare themselves for the party. They each wore one of Chad Paulson's Gash Masters shirts. Dan's stomach welled with nervousness. Even as he talked excitedly to Brian as they drove the van to Debby's and blasted Gash Masters, Dan wondered if anybody would show up. Their cast had grown up. They had lives and problems of their own. What if no one showed up? That would make the viewing of Bloody Mask pretty shitty. Andy's special feature for the release would be up the creek.
"You're sweating, man," Brian said. "Me too. You're wondering if this event will be pulled off."
Dan sighed. "I remember when we showed the movie at Odyssey Cinema downtown, when it was still in existence. We packed that place, but after the first twenty minutes, people started jeering the picture. Less than half the theatre watched the movie to the end. I remember that feeling of having such a poor reception. All that hard work, and for what? A big thumb's down from everybody."
"You must not read the message boards, Danny boy. Andy's the camera guy for Cult Crushers, but he's also their publicity guy. Andy posted the event on the message boards. I posted it on our Facebook page. Fans are coming from out of state to watch this fucker. Free food and beer, think about it, Dan. I bet you this fucking van that Debby's will be packed."
Up ahead, they viewed Debby's parking lot. Cars had to park in the street, because the parking lot was filled up.
"This is unreal," Dan said. "People actually give a shit."
When they parked the van, fans swarmed them. Dan didn't recognize them, but he knew them to be horror fans. The hardcore people who traveled from out-of-state to be here. Most of them were younger, being in their twenties or thirties. They wore horror shirts of low budget, shot-on-video horror, like: Cannibal Mall. Supermarket Slashers. Bigfoot Stampede. Kill Cult 3. Anti-Freeze Mutant. Tornado Zombies. Pus Fuckers. Satan's Boot Camp. Hack/Slash/Die.
Dan and Brian were asked to pose in front of the van with the fans. Pictures were being taken from cell phones. Andy had snuck into the background to film the action. Dan noticed his big fan boy grin.
One woman had a replica of the shirt Ellen Roth wore in the movie. She pointed at the pink letters on her shirt. "Twat! Twat! T-wat! I'm a f-ucking twat! Baaaaaaaaaaah!"
Brian was stood up on a guy's shoulders as a group of five had their picture taken. They each wore Bloody Mask shirts. Dan couldn't count the number of people in the parking lot, but there had to be almost two hundred.
A big banner was displayed over the front of Debby's reading: BLOODY MASK IS HERE!
Eerie synthesizer music from the actual movie was playing from several large speakers set about the patio areas. Dan lost track of Brian. Dan kept shaking hands and trying his best to answer questions about the work he did over twenty years ago. One of the fans flashed their tits. Each boob had a word written on it in red paint: BLODDY MASK. The poor woman had misspelled "Bloody". Nobody bothered to tell her until she put her shirt back down.
Dan couldn't count the number of big box VHS copies of Bloody Mask he was signing. All the best, Dan Daniels. Keep hitting the play button, Dan Daniels. Vomit on the person watching this with you, xoxoxo Dan Daniels. Awesome shirt, TWAT! Love, Dan Daniels.
Waitresses wearing Bloody Mask shirts were handing out ghoulish drinks with fun names like Witch's Brew, Primordial Ooze, Cherry Hemorrhage and Pus shots. Dan laughed at Becky Little wearing one of the t-shirts. She didn't look happy to be surrounded by so many horror supporters. Dan couldn't forget those days in high school when he dated Janey, and Becky resented him for stealing her best friend away.
"You're doing a good job, Becky," Dan called out to her, jokingly. "It's great to see you having such a good time."
"I'm just doing my job," she said like it was fuck you. "I got bills to pay, which is more than you could do with the money you made from your crappy movie."
"Nice," Dan said. "I'll let you have that round."
Becky stuck her tongue out at him. Then she smiled. "I was only kidding. Congratulations, Dan. You deserve this. I'm proud of you. I know what this means to you."
He was taken aback. "Wow. That's so nice of you to say."
Dan asked a fan to hold Becky's tray of drinks. He gave her a hug. "Seriously, thank you for saying that."
Becky smiled. "You're a good guy, Dan. I talked to Janey. She said you guys made amends. Everything's good. You're not a bad guy after all. Look, it's crazy busy, Dan. I'll talk to you later."
Brian reappeared. He had a crowd of guys asking him questions about the production. He was talking up a storm. Brian was always the outgoing one who could make friends with anyone. Dan talked to various fans as well. Most of them complimented the movie, throwing out bullshit comparisons to Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci. Dan could only cringe on the inside and smile on the outside. He was no Argento, and he was certainly no Fulci.
Andy paused from his filming to announce the showing was going to start in fifteen minutes. Andy urged Dan and Brian into the building to corral the fans. Once inside, the projector was prepped to show the movie. Fans were packed into tables ordering food and drinking more free drinks provided by Cult Crushers.
Dan and Brian had a table in the middle of the crowd. The table was loaded with appetizers and a pitcher of beer.
Andy introduced himself to the crowd, using a microphone.
"Welcome to the 25th Anniversary of the film Bloody Mask! My name is Andy Cummings from Cult Crushers. We're going to be using you folks in a special feature of the DVD/Blu-ray combo release of your favorite horror film. What I need from you is the pretend this is a seedy theatre. You can shout your thoughts, scream at the gross parts, and just go insane. I'm sure the more pus shots you suck down, it'll come naturally. I'm recording the audience's response, so keep it lively. Have fun. Afterwards, you can mingle with your favorite filmmakers! And take notice, we have some cast members here."
Andy pointed them out. Dan had been so busy with the crowd of fans, he hadn't noticed everybody they'd interviewed was there. Even Trisha Cooper with her minister husband, Glen, who was looking at the crowd like they were savage animals. Taz, aka Clayton Jones, had two Primordial Ooze drinks. Taz was sitting with his oldest child who had a bored inbred look on his face. Taz only perked up when the drink touched his lips. Chad Paulson was with his wife. They were eating chili fries and downing a pitcher of beer. Lester "Carp" Carpenter wore his fisherman's outfit. Fans had recognized him and were asking him questions and patting him on the back. Lester absorbed the attention. The old man couldn't get enough.
Ten people throughout the bar had black shirts with the words EXTRA #1 on the front, or HOOKER #4, or BUS CRASH VICTIM #8. They were extras. Andy had worked himself silly, Dan realized, on putting this whole event together. Janey was also sitting at a table with who Dan assumed was her husband, James Brewster. She too had a shirt, but her best known scene was the mop bucket death scene, so it said DEAD MOP HEAD BITCH on her shirt.
Andy, without further adieu, played the movie. The crowd whistled, hooted, and hollered when the film's opening scene hit the screen.
The cornfields of Prudence at dark. Silence. Then a mask is blowing in the wind. It bumps into a hobo's shoe. The hobo picks it up.
"Hmmm. A mask. I should try it on."
The bum chugs another slug of his fifth of sour mash.
"I guess it doesn't have to be Halloween to wear a scary mask, eh?"
The hobo puts on the mask. He dances about with his fifth, scaring people who aren't there. "Boo! I'm going to get you! Scary, scary, scary!"
Then the hobo screams.
"Noooooo! God help me, what have I done? I can't get it off. My face! My face!"
Then the hobo's voice changes into a jilted demon's.
"This mask fits me just fine."
Bloody Mask flashed on the screen in cheesy splatter font lettering. Everybody in the crowd cheered and banged their fists on the table. Dan
noticed Debby behind the bar watch the crowd with wide eyes. Was she beginning to regret allowing Andy to host the event at her bar?
Dan watched the showing in awe. He couldn't stop shaking as the crowd reacted and laughed at the film. Brian was enjoying the same thrills of nervousness and giddy excitement. Parts of the film Dan watched, the rest, he studied the audience and soaked up the long overdue appreciation for his film.
Dan remembered convincing the local gym to let him shoot a scene in front of some lockers to mimic a high school hallway. There was Ellen Roth in her "Twat" shirt talking to her best friend in high school.
"Did you hear about old man Geohagen? The police found his headless body down by the river. There was a Boy Scout troop camping nearby. They saw Geohagen's head just bobbing in the water with that God-awful expression."
Then Ellen's famous quote: "I'm more worried about my period. All the other girls have had one, and I still haven't. Should I be worried?"
"Don't let the other girls know you haven't yet. They'll make fun of you. It's all they ever talk about."
That made the bar roar in laughter. The blood alcohol levels in the room were rising.
A few more scenes passed, then it came time for One-Tit Trish's boyfriend scene.
The boyfriend is standing outside his girlfriend's bedroom window. The boyfriend calls up to her.
"When can I see both of your tits?"
Then Trisha calls back down, her naked upper half covered by the window's curtain. "When you put a ring on my finger, I'll put a rubber on yours."
The waitresses were working hard about the room delivering orders and trying not to block the movie screen.
Sheriff Banfield stood over the corpse laying beside a vacuum cleaner. He was talking to the coroner, a guy in a shiny bowling league coat and black jeans.
